


Redemption From Resemblance

by Demon_Apostle



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Apologies, Arguing, Bottom Hanzo Shimada, Crying, Drinking & Talking, Emotional Constipation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fights, First Kiss, First Time, Flirty McCree, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Genji and McCree Are Good Friends, Getting to Know Each Other, Hanzo is Difficult, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, McCree Is Trying, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Missions Gone Wrong, Mutual Pining, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Origami, Past Relationship(s), Past Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison/Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Shopping, Singing, Slow Burn, Sweet Jesse McCree, Symbolism, Teasing, Top Jesse McCree, genyatta if you squint - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-08-20 03:08:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 150,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8233972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demon_Apostle/pseuds/Demon_Apostle
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple mission done with an outrageous teammate. Hanzo thinks the world loves screwing with his life.





	1. Mission Gone Wrong

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first mchanzo multi-chapter fanfic (that will be longer than 3 chapters) that I would have started posting sooner but... Things happened. I would like to start by saying that I have no idea how often this will be updated, hopefully once every week but I can't guarantee that.
> 
> Also, I know this might have some inconsistencies and unrealistic scenarios, but this is the future with robots, talking apes from space, and teleporters. Anything is possible.
> 
> I own nothing.

Missions were a common thing for the members of Overwatch. Nearly every week had a new mission that couldn't be ignored and left the Gibraltar base close to empty. Not to say it was rare that they got time to themselves, but Talon and other crooks made it very clear that they were going to take a day off when they were in jail or dead. Overwatch was all too happy to make that happen, discreetly or not.

 

Hanzo thinks that's why Genji asked him to join, because they needed more discreet on the team since most of the members were anything but. A loud, hulking German, a bubbly British girl, a talking ape of all things, and dare he forget the scruffy man shouting something about it being noon when it most certainly isn't. They had plenty of team members who did not fall under the discreet category. So he has to wonder about these things when he's asked to do a recon mission with one of the very loud members who couldn't be quiet if their life was literally hanging by a thread. And it's with the scruffy man no less.

 

Hanzo didn't know what to expect when they were given their missions in the conference room. He had been assigned to quite a few despite his joining only a few weeks ago, so he wondered what Winston would have him do next. He wasn't really prepared for the information he received, a recon mission overseas, but what was even more shocking was the partner going with him. Hanzo sadly hadn't been able to memorize everyone's names since joining, and this man was one of them. All he knew about him was that he used a gun and was what people called a cowboy, whatever that was. He thinks he remembers hearing something similar in his youth, but the memory is lost to Hanzo.

 

At least now he might be able to get to know the man a little better. The question is whether or not he'll want to.

 

“You'll be going to Indiana. Overwatch used to have a base a little north of the capital before most of it was destroyed. We're somehow getting alarms signaling trespassers, so we'll need you to check it out.” Hanzo reads the file as Winston talks, noting how it says that the building should be inoperable. Something must be happening if they're receiving signals all the way to Gibraltar.

 

“Any idea what might be the cause of these signals?” Hanzo looks at the man, hat higher on his head than it normally is as he asks Winston. The scientist shakes his head as he points at the briefing files.

 

“As that explains it, we shouldn't be receiving anything from that base. Something must have messed with the computer system or tripped an old backup alarm. The reason I'm asking the two of you to go is because Hanzo is equipped for stealth and you've been there before.” The man spares Hanzo a glance, one the archer finds a little more than friendly, and shrugs.

 

“A few times don't mean I know where ta go. That place has probably decayed and collapsed beyond recognition. But I don't mind a chance ta go outside. Stretch my legs.” Winston grunts and pushes McCree's legs off the table, which the gunslinger smiles at.

 

“Then stretch your legs there, not on the table.” McCree lets out a huff of laughter before turning to the assassin who still hasn't moved.

 

“Ready ta do this, partner?” Hanzo disregards the term just used and stands.

 

“Only if you do not do something stupid.” He's already walking to the door when he hears a faint chuckle and the clicking of boots.

 

“No promises.” What that even means, Hanzo has no idea. He doesn't know this man well enough to know the indication of those words. Whether he actually means it or if he's simply playing with Hanzo, and the archer almost wishes he knew. His earlier thought of maybe getting to know this man better is already seeming like a bad idea. He wants to squash it.

 

“Ever been ta Indiana yerself?” The constant need for this man to keep talking almost reminds the older man of Genji before… everything. He wants to hold conversations and talk at every waking second. This is going to be a very long mission.

 

“No.” It's short and stern, Hanzo trying to imply that talking isn't going to happen very often. McCree doesn't seem to catch the hint, though.

 

“Not much ta see. Might be able ta find something ta do there if we finish a little early.” Hanzo isn't keen on finding anything to do that doesn't involve the mission, and he wonders why this man doesn't get that. A very distinct difference between the two that he takes notice of.

 

The assassin is amazed at how truly different he is from the other members of Overwatch. While he may share a limited amount of traits with very few members, the differences are astounding. In no way is Hanzo brash, he likes to think. He plans, calculates, takes his time and makes sure he can win a fight. The only ones who seem to express this as well are Soldier 76, Ana, and his own brother who should be dead. The rest either rush into the fray or stay out of the action from what he can tell. If there are others who think like him, he has yet to see it, and this man who is now accompanying him has not once shown the ability to plan ahead and think carefully. But Hanzo is basing that on a few weeks with limited interaction. A flaw of his, quick to judge and base what he thinks on what he immediately sees. Genji had always scolded him for it and the elder Shimada found it laughable.

 

He still does, when his brother shows wisdom that was all but lost to him in his youth, and it's an even harder hit to the gut as Hanzo realizes his brother from back then is truly gone. It's laughable, but not at all humorous.

 

It's even more laughable when said brother is waiting for you, ready to see you off as if nothing happened. Hanzo feels his chest tighten with an unknown emotion. His face feels frozen with how much he's been frowning these last few hours.

 

“I wish you luck, brother.” Luck. Since when did he need luck to fight? Luck didn't give him the skills needed to fend off assassins for as long as he has. He acquired skills, a talent for being able to live on the run for all those years of isolation.

 

 _The same skills you killed him with._ His mind supplies him with a bitter reminder, and he simply nods at Genji. His face feels even more twisted, but he doubts anything changed. He doesn't wish to say more, and heads to the plane that will take him and his teammate to their destination. McCree is still talking with Genji, neither seeming to mind Hanzo's lack of social interaction. Even more, the absence of the archer trying to rectify what he did to his brother years ago. He knows an apology won't change what he did, yet everyone seems to think it will help. There is no helping Hanzo, and he isn't sure how they all refuse to see that, especially Genji. A fool he had been, and a fool he still is.

\-----

McCree wasn't sure how to feel for the mission. A trip back to a base he never thought he'd see again, with the very person who killed a good friend of his. It's all very surreal, and he doesn't like it in the least.

 

Not to say McCree holds a grudge against Hanzo. Genji had told him he holds no anger towards his brother anymore and he respects that decision, even if he doesn't fully understand it. To forgive the man who left you for dead, cut you down and left you to die in agony, McCree can't even fathom the idea. But he respects Genji's wishes and even goes so far as to treat Hanzo like he isn't the same man who forced his brother to live inside a metal body. He'd be angrier, furious even, if he never noticed the small hints of regret Hanzo shows whenever Genji is mentioned or in the same room. It's the only comfort McCree has in hoping the brothers will resolve the bad blood between them. Hell, he might even give a little push since Hanzo doesn't seem too eager to accept Genji's forgiveness, and this mission might give McCree a chance to make things right. Maybe even get a chance to find out a bit about the closed off archer.

 

The gunslinger was always a sucker for powerful men with pretty faces. He thinks so anyway, since he's sure he has the beginnings of affection towards Hanzo. Another thing to maybe dig deeper into while he has the chance. Genji did warn him though, the assassin was not one to mess with and push too far. It might be experience talking, but McCree is going to take it to heart.

 

 _He is kind. Just not… open-minded to most things. Patience is all you can have when dealing with my brother._ The cowboy thinks he has enough. He didn't get this far by being the opposite. McCree just needs to show that he can indeed be very patient. Talking is the best way to convey such a thing, he thinks.

 

A conversation starter, however, is all but eluding the poor gunslinger. McCree, usually able to break the ice immediately and begin some form of communication, is having trouble finding a way to talk to Hanzo. It's rather surprising since they're together… alone… in a plane heading for Indiana across the Atlantic ocean… with a man who seems to have only one expression.

 

Maybe it's not so simple this time. But hell if McCree isn't going to try. He tries to seem casual, like he isn't having a major freakout on the inside about how he's going to start talking to Hanzo. He might be failing because his shoulders suddenly feel very stiff. The older man doesn't seem to have picked up on it yet or he doesn't care. McCree is nearly begging it's the former, which it might be since Hanzo hasn't even _looked_ in his general direction the whole twenty minutes they've been in the air.

 

“Reckon we'll find anythin’ worth reportin’?” Good, awesome. Perfect thing to start with. It actually gets Hanzo to glance at McCree and it's a win in his book.

 

“Maybe. Alarms can go off for a few reasons. It will be more likely we will find out an animal chewed through the wiring.” He even got more than one word out of Hanzo. It must be McCree's lucky day. Two wins added to the book.

 

“Probably. What if we find actual baddies?” No glance, not even any acknowledgement he spoke, but at least the man is still talking. That's some form of progress.

 

“Then we take care of them and leave. It is not hard to understand.” McCree nearly feels the bit of venom added with those last words, and the slight animosity Hanzo is showing tells the cowboy all he needs to know.

 

 _Take the mission seriously. Do your job._ He'll assume it's because of his blatant disregard for protocol on some of the missions he's had and just did his own thing. If he remembers correctly, Hanzo was present for one of them. Soldier 76 was, and he definitely wasn't happy, but when is he ever nowadays? McCree can still feel the verbal lashing he got afterwards.

 

But that isn't what he needs to focus on right now. Hell, what he plans to focus on also isn't what he should be giving his attention, but you don't become a wanted man by following the rules.

 

“Mind if I ask ya a few questions?” With the glare he's receiving, that might be a no. A very big no. The glare isn't very potent, he's managed to see one of Hanzo's more irate glares when an enemy damaged one of his prosthetics (because the maintenance is apparently tedious, and parts are hard to come by for someone running for his life), but it does make McCree rethink talking with the archer. He's surprised, to say the least, when Hanzo is actually willing to let him.

 

“Perhaps, depending on what you ask.” That's as good as the gunslinger can hope for. He only hopes he won't end up with an arrow through his skull. Or missing another limb.

 

“Do ya like workin' in Overwatch?” That's about the safest route he can take right now. The subject of Genji is probably still a bit touchy for Hanzo, but he thinks they'll get there. It'll take a damn long amount of time though.

 

“Do I look like I am enjoying myself?” If he had to answer honestly, hell no. Hanzo looked anything but happy since he joined. Hell, he probably looked that way before joining as well. He's read the older man's file, and practically nothing in there gave Hanzo a reason to smile. McCree feels his jaw tighten.

 

“Now don't answer a question with another question, partner. That defeats the whole purpose.” His light and cheery mood isn't coming all the way through, and he _knows_ Hanzo has picked up on that. The other man seems tense, like a predator who has seen an opening to attack.

 

“And what _is_ your purpose for asking these questions?” That's the jackpot question isn't it? It always is.

 

“Just tryin’ ta get ta know ya better, is all. We are workin’ together.” Hanzo huffs at McCree like he was just insulted and turns away again. Shouldn't it be the cowboy feeling that way right now?

 

“There is nothing to know about me. Stop trying.” McCree sighs at the hostility being thrown at him and does as Hanzo wishes. For now. He isn't going to give up so easily, but the gunslinger can listen when he wants to. Also when he's in danger of being brutally maimed or killed in a massive metal machine above the clouds. The last thing McCree wants is his body becoming fish food, so he'll keep his mouth shut.

 

The plane ride now feels considerably longer and much more uncomfortable.

\-----

They land, and McCree feels like his entire body has morphed into gelatin. He never was a plane kind of guy, and the aftereffects are even less enjoyable. He's surprised he can even stand normally, yet Hanzo seems just fine. Maybe it's not surprising, metal is definitely an upgrade from flesh in this situation. His bones won't feel like they'll give out at any moment, and his muscles won't shake from lack of use. McCree is almost contemplating shaking his legs like a cat would when its feet get wet. The imagination of him doing so is enough to quickly stomp the idea. McCree, shaking his legs like a critter is crawling on them. He'd never live it down, witnesses or not. Plus, there's Hanzo, so it's an immediate no.

 

“So you know where to go, I assume.” The archer is looking around like he's waiting for some sort of ambush, and McCree wonders if the man has ever gone a day in his life where he wasn't paranoid. His mind supplies the quick word of _childhood,_ and even then he still wonders.

 

“Pretty much. I can tell ya we just need ta walk north and keep going ‘til we see ruins.” Hanzo hums and does just that, not waiting for McCree to follow. The cowboy shakes his head and starts walking through the many trees as the sun hits the back of his serape. He's thankful for his hat. They walk in silence, save for the few bugs and birds chirping at the intruders. A few insects fly in front of McCree, and he waves them away, splitting his focus on both Hanzo and the path they're taking. The last thing he wants is to become lost with an angry but deadly assassin. Not that he thinks Hanzo would actually kill him, but maiming doesn't seem beneath the man.

 

 _Try not to walk on eggshells._ The only advice he can truly follow.

 

“Ya seem ta be well acquainted with trees.” It's not a joke as Hanzo does seem to be used to branches and leaves in his face. He just can't tell if the older man had taken it as such since he doesn't turn around. He does speak though.

 

“You learn to deal with things while trying to survive. I am sure you are no different.” That he definitely isn't. Overwatch had gotten the warning about assassins out for Hanzo's head, probably employed by his own family, so McCree gets where he's coming from. The Deadlock gang sure as hell wasn't going to let him off scot-free. Neither was the news or law enforcement. McCree totally understands.

 

“Yer not wrong there. I just didn't do most of my runnin’ in forests.” He didn't actually run either, just went about his day and killed some people if he had to.

 

“How many forests did ya use ta survive?” Probably more than enough.

 

“I do not know the exact number. I have been in many, using the trees for cover either from enemies or rain. Sometimes as a place to rest.” McCree notes Hanzo did not say sleep. A big difference for those on the run for their lives. Rest you can get almost any time, sleep is practically elusive. It becomes dangerous and soon starts looking more like a grim reaper than sweet relief. Being able to wake up at the drop of a hat is the only solution and McCree had mastered it. Hanzo has probably done the same.

 

“So yer acquainted with trees. Figured as much.” He hears the archer sigh, even sees the slight dip of his shoulders as he exhales, and he once again feels like he shouldn't talk. He doesn't know how Hanzo manages to make him think he needs to keep quiet.

 

“If you are trying to make a joke, it is far from funny.” He's still not looking back at the cowboy.

 

“Not makin’ a joke, I swear. Just tryin’ ta talk is all.” Hanzo abruptly stops and spins on a metal heel to face McCree who is almost wishing he would turn again. The glare isn't sitting well with him.

 

“Talking will get you killed. Talking is what will distract you when a gun is aimed at your head. Will keep you from hearing the approaching steps of an enemy. Will be the reason you end up dead in the middle of nowhere with no medical help.” Hanzo must not expect McCree to say anything in his defense since he turns and continues his way down the path. The gunslinger is stunned, to say the least. He didn't expect the outburst, definitely didn't expect the morbid words Hanzo had to say. For once in his life, McCree wants his voice to magically stop working. But he knows he'd be far too stubborn for that to even work.

 

He just can't seem to win.

\-----

The walk had taken a while, close to forty minutes if Hanzo was keeping track. He was. The two had finally arrived at their destination, pretty far from any civilization, so there was barely any chance of someone stumbling upon the old base. Hanzo thinks that if it really was an intruder, they had to have been purposefully looking for the decrepit building. The amount of wear and tear made it nearly impossible to see, vines and other vegetation acting as a makeshift camouflage. There were parts missing, most likely collapsed, so it didn't stand as tall as it probably once did. This all left only two options for Hanzo.

 

Animal or potential enemy. He readies his bow just in case and nocks a sonic arrow into the slot. A click to his left signals McCree loading his gun, and he's actually surprised that the man isn't dismissing Hanzo's actions as simple paranoia. Must be smarter than he looks, and Hanzo feels a little better.

 

They walk inside, going as carefully as they can, and the assassin has to stop himself from glaring at the spurs jingling on those damned boots. This was supposed to be the moment they use stealth, yet he's sure anyone could hear them coming quite easily. Maybe that professionalism he saw earlier was the extent of McCree's skills. He's ready in case they have to fight, but he is in no way acting like there are intruders to deal with. The cowboy looks relaxed, in a walk down the beach sort of way. Where he doesn't expect anyone to potentially point a gun at him and let him die amongst sand and sea water. Hanzo feels livid and his grip on the bow tightens.

 

A door is just a few steps away from them, and the older man is the first to approach. It doesn't appear to have been touched recently, no signs of something forcing it open since the lock isn't powered. The few vines that have crept inside still hold it shut, and both figure there would be no point opening the door. The pair continue further down until another door comes into view, this one wide open and seemingly forced to move. Hanzo silently moves closer and positions himself just enough to get a clear shot into the room. The arrow flies and lands, pulsing out a blue light that indicates no people inside. McCree takes that as a sign to go in, and Hanzo follows close behind with a new arrow ready to fire. The room seems to be fairly large, a few areas littered with debris from the walls and ceiling. Weeds have sprung up through the few cracks, but the computers and consoles seem to be untouched. McCree whistles like he's surprised they didn't find anything, but he doesn't put his gun away.

 

“Place looks even worse than when it was actually bein’ used. Not to say they didn't try ta keep it clean, but fighters ain't maids.” He walks over to the console and presses a button. When nothing happens, he tries another. More silence until the third button and the screen suddenly lights up. McCree looks at the monitor and reads what he sees, eyes widening just a bit.

 

“Winston definitely ain't gonna be pleased.” Hanzo looks away from the door and holes in the ceiling to where McCree is standing.

 

“What do you mean?” The gunslinger looks at him, pointing at the files on the screen monitor.

 

“Looks like that alarm was tripped by a person. That or animals suddenly know how ta hack files. This is givin’ the location of every Overwatch base and agent. _Alive_ agents.” That's a red flag if Hanzo ever heard one. To know that whoever entered the base was pulling up files on old Overwatch members, it couldn't have been just for the hell of it. There was a purpose to hacking into those files, but he sadly doesn't know what it is.

 

“We need to tell Winston.” McCree nods and presses the button on his communicator which goes through in seconds.

 

“Hey. Ya ain't gonna like what I tell ya. Looks like that alarm was because someone pulled up old files. Yea, on the previous guys, those still alive. Roger that.” McCree gets to work on figuring out the console as he fills Hanzo in on the conversation he just had.

 

“Gonna need ta wipe the files. Winston said ta see if we can't find any clues on who looked them up and get back immediately.” The assassin nods, not commenting on the commanding air McCree suddenly has about him. It's a nice change in Hanzo's opinion, realizing his teammate isn't a complete fool. There's no joking tone or stupid remarks as he actually tries to carry out the mission and do as he's told. It's almost so relieving that Hanzo nearly misses the glint of a barrel. McCree hasn't finished destroying the files, but the archer doesn't care as he pulls the man away, a bullet embedding itself into one of the panels where McCree was just standing. The gunslinger loses his balance, but Hanzo is already shooting an arrow at the direction it came from. The loud clank it makes tells him he missed whatever shot at them and he clicks his tongue in annoyance. Another arrow nocked and he has it aimed when a voice finally speaks.

 

“You're getting slow, _boy_. What good is someone who needs another to save his ass?” The voice is deep, filtered through some sort of distorter if Hanzo had to guess. He doesn't recognize it, but the low growl tells him McCree definitely does. Said man gets up from where Hanzo pulled him and points his gun at the door.

 

“Ya ain't got no room ta talk, _old man_. At least I didn't die like an idiot. Same can't be said for yerself.” He's wearing a mocking grin that earns an annoyed growl, and a figure is then standing in the doorway, a gun aimed at McCree while one hand seems to be gripping something at his side. Hanzo doesn't recognize this man at all, but he keeps his eyes trained on the clenched hand.

 

“You're not dead yet. But I can remedy that.” Something is then thrown at them, Hanzo moving to aim at the now airborne device. His brows knit together as he realizes it isn't a grenade, but something he's never seen before. The confusion is enough for him to stall and when the device lands, a strong pulse is released and fries their communicators and the monitor behind them. An EMP generator then. Both McCree and Hanzo rip out the comms from their ears and toss them aside as sparks fly and crackle. Now they have no way to inform Winston or the others of what's happening. Hanzo frowns even more and quickly aims before the arrow goes flying at the man-

 

Only to pass through him and hit the wall of the hallway. The archer's eyes widen as he tries a second time but gets the same result. All he receives in return is a laugh and another gun to accompany the first one.

 

“That won't work.” McCree, whose hand had been slowly moving to his side, grabs a flashbang and throws it towards the door. He moves to shield Hanzo as it breaks and light floods the room. They hear a pained grunt and when the light fades, the man is gone and McCree is running out of the building, dragging Hanzo by his wrist. The assassin is keeping his senses sharp as best he can, listening and watching for any sign of the enemy, even as they exit the base and are running through the woods. After a good distance, both stop to make sure they're in the clear, but they keep their guard up just in case. McCree breathes a heavy sigh and leans against a tree, body tense with exhaustion and leftover adrenaline. It's a weird mix, but he's felt it before. Hanzo looks the same if the slight shaking of his hands are anything to go by.

 

“You knew who that was?” The older man is giving him a questioning look and McCree just nods.

 

“Ya read the file ‘bout Blackwatch, right?” Hanzo remembers doing so, being allowed to read about the extra faction created by Overwatch meant to give convicts a chance to be better. He didn't read the whole thing, but he got the gist of it. It was something that didn't end the way they wanted and Overwatch disbanded because of the chaos created.

 

“Well, that used ta be the boss. Gabriel Reyes, now workin’ for Talon under the name Reaper. Ya won't believe me, but he used ta be an item with Jack… Soldier 76. Forgot ya don't know his actual name.” That Hanzo didn't because he never bothered with it. Didn't read everything on the files he was given as a means of learning about his new comrades a little better. The archer didn't think he would need to as he wasn't sure if he was even going to stay. Maybe if he did, Hanzo would have been better prepared. It certainly was an interesting piece of information. Not really required, but still interesting. Right now though, they need to get back to Gibraltar and inform the rest of Overwatch about their findings. But when Hanzo goes to walk back to the place they were dropped off, McCree stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

 

“That wouldn't be wise, partner. Reaper knows we're here which means he could be waitin’ for us. I wouldn't be surprised if he's already tampered with our ride back.” Hanzo didn't like what he was hearing.

 

“How are you so sure he has done anything?” Silence at first, and the assassin just gets more irritated at the lack of a fast reply.

 

“I used ta work for the guy. If he still thinks like he did then, he's already sabotaged or destroyed the carrier. He ain't gonna give us a chance ta leave after what we found out.” Hanzo couldn't believe what he was hearing.

 

“So you mean we are stuck out here, with no way to contact everyone else and no means of getting back?” McCree shrugs and pulls out a cigar from his pocket, not bothering to go for his lighter as he chews on the end. He doesn't need the smoke to calm his nerves right now, just a bit of a distraction.

 

“Oh, we got a way of gettin’ back. Just not usin’ the same way we got here.” Hanzo can only give him a more confused look and McCree is bracing himself for when that confusion turns into rage.

 

This is going to be a long trip back.

\-----

A train. McCree wanted Hanzo to sneak onto a train and ride to New Jersey where they could probably hitch a ride on a boat back to base. A plane would be the worst case scenario since neither had much money on their person for tickets (and just by glancing at them, security wouldn't think twice about handcuffs and interrogations). That meant sneaking into the cargo hold, which they would have to do either way. A boat would be easier and less risky. Less chance of people recognizing McCree from the news.

 

That had been what he told Hanzo anyway. Along with the lovely piece of information that the few nearby bases won't be of any help, too old and worn to contact the other base. But he's not inclined to argue, seeing as how the man seems used to this kind of stuff and is Hanzo's only way back to the base. He might be lost otherwise, having no idea where he is. Indiana was not one of Hanzo's stops during his years of running, so he's definitely not familiar with the area. He's not familiar with most of the United States to be honest. The Shimada family, despite wanting him to take over, didn't really give Hanzo free reign or inform him of what to expect in places outside of Hanamura. All he had to know was who was an enemy, a potential friend (another word for scapegoat, pawn, easily manipulated), and how to turn the tables in his favor. Learning to fight was simply natural and everything he learned, he was going to need once he took over.

 

Hanzo instead used his skills to kill one of the few people who mattered to him, and survive an onslaught of assassins looking to take his head and claim the money. Now, practically everyone is both an enemy and potential “friend”. McCree is no different, despite how he acts like nothing bothers him. Hanzo has learned to read others, especially those with the ability to be a threat. That was nearly everyone at Overwatch. Friendly faces who could turn on him at any moment, attack Hanzo when he least expected it if they wanted to, and he would probably have to take another life in defense of his own. Call it paranoia, Genji certainly has, but Hanzo has lived alone for too long to simply trust someone just because they're on good terms with his brother and offer sanctuary.

 

Look what happened with Blackwatch and apparently, the killer called Widowmaker. He knows better.

 

“How far?” They had been walking for quite awhile, making their way through even thicker woods and away from the carrier that they took a chance to check up on. McCree had been right as they watched Talon agents trash their transportation and make it inoperable. The controls had been smashed, wings broken and littered with bullet holes, engine smoking and threatening to blow up. They left the moment the smoke became thicker and darker, not waiting for the eruption that was going to eventually happen. That was about an hour ago, so Hanzo thinks they're either too far to hear it or the explosion hasn't happened yet. Either way, they can't use it anymore.

 

Now they're hiking to the nearest train station and even then, it's a good four more hours away on foot. Hanzo is almost regretting the thought against having cellphones (because of tracking capabilities, and the communicators were designed to combat hacking, but apparently not pulses that could fry the wiring).

 

“Reckon it'll be a good while 'fore we even see a hint of civilization. Worst comes ta worst, we sleep outside.” It was something of a plan, at least, if Hanzo could call it such. Neither had really brought supplies as they weren't planning on being surprised by Reaper and his Talon forces, so the most they had was a couple hundred and some odd dollars in cash. Soldier was actually the one to suggest taking a bit of money with them as a precaution, to which McCree made the joke of old men having experience. A quick punch to the gut as a response, and they were soon heading out.

 

Hanzo feels he should be lucky it's early summer, the remnants of spring making a cool breeze run over his skin every now and then. Coupled with the shade from the trees, the weather is just right for Hanzo. But he knows what that could potentially mean, what with the possibility of them sleeping outside for a night hanging over his head. Colder nights and with plenty of hungry insects. And he's not alone like he normally would be.

 

As a precaution, maybe more leaning towards his paranoia (as everyone else calls it), Hanzo has his bow in hand, arrow ready to soar into the nearest enemy. Maybe even something they can eat if they don't make it to a town before nightfall. He's not going to walk unarmed, guard lowered, and looking like an easy target. With Talon somewhere behind them, the last thing he needs is to relax and be killed because of it. Hanzo wonders how McCree can walk like nothing is going to harm him, gun sitting in its holster and a cigar smoking between his lips, the same one he's been chewing on a little over an hour ago. Hanzo thinks it's a nervous habit, and maybe the cowboy isn't actually relaxed, but trying to seem as such despite a storm of raging nerves. Then again, the man always seems to have a cigar stuck between his teeth. He's either always on edge or just smoking because he simply can.

 

Hanzo doesn't think he has enough evidence to choose between the two options, so he settles for believing he does it as a means of relief. A distraction from what's happening around him since it would be very appropriate for their current situation. Hanzo himself isn't a smoker, so he doesn't understand the appeal, but he knows that while he has a gourd dangling on his side, McCree has a flask somewhere on his person that probably isn't filled with something as simple as water. Hanzo's most definitely isn't, and he almost feels like taking a long drink if only to calm his nerves a little like McCree is doing. He'll still be able to fight well enough and they have been walking for some time, but alcohol isn't what he needs right now. It's much too early in his opinion, and the last thing it'll do is give him an energy boost.

 

Movement to his left, and his head jerks to see a bird flying, weaving through trees and landing on a branch. It's a rather interesting color for a forest, a shade of blue on its feathers that clash with the greens and browns. It's staring at the men with what looks to be confusion, but Hanzo was never one to try and figure out what a bird was thinking. People were his main concern, still are, so what use is being able to communicate with birds? Especially one so small that wouldn't even be any sort of threat or help.

 

Hanzo sighs and thinks he's going mad if his thoughts are that complex about a simple bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a slow start isn't it?
> 
> Feedback on whether or not you like it is appreciated


	2. To Catch A Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo finds out he doesn't like train rides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought I'd post two chapters in one day.

They barely to manage make it into town before everything closes for the night, including hotels and inns that might still have a room available. It's just a little after eleven at night, and they manage to find a motel cheap enough to not take all the cash they currently have. It was definitely something trying to get the room since both were carrying weapons and one was a wanted man, but the lady at the desk didn't say anything. Might be because Hanzo waited outside and was holding onto McCree's gun, so there wasn't a reason for her to freak out. He's pretty sure she still suspected something was up though. They managed to procure one room with two queen beds and working utilities, something McCree thinks is a bonus to some of the places he had to stay at when he was younger. Hanzo is also grateful for the working shower, feeling like there's two layers of dirt and sweat covering his entire body, and would like nothing more than to wash it all off. There's just the problem of no extra clothes and the motel having no washer and dryer.

 

To think, teleporters and talking apes from the moon now existed, but some places still refused to buy even the most basic of appliances to give a reason for customers to come back.

 

Hanzo wants to laugh.

 

“Least this place has some robes. Otherwise we'd be usin’ towels ta cover up instead.” McCree walked out of the bathroom with a couple of bathrobes, just as white and thick as the towels. Now all they were lacking was some decent shampoo and a way to clean their teeth. Hanzo supposed it was better than nothing, so he took one of the robes and went into the bathroom first, not sparing McCree a glance. The cowboy chuckled at the cold shoulder he received, and went to turn on the television while he waited. He just hoped Hanzo wasn't the type to use up all of the hot water.

 

Hanzo, on the other hand, was practically stewing with anger. Not only was he alone with one of the most annoying men he has ever met, but his legs were also screaming at him. He's had his prosthetics on for far too long, and the hike through the woods for five hours sure didn't help. Hanzo would normally be fine, but that's always because he took breaks even as enemies came after him. Such a long walk with no time to stop and relieve his legs, he's definitely feeling the aftereffects. His muscles felt tight and sore, pulsing in pain as he kept on the metal attachments. Hanzo is surprised he's still standing at all, wondering if he should take them off and sit in the tub for a bit. But the thought that McCree would try and check up on him if he took too long crossed his mind, so he quickly thought against it. He would bathe with the bar of soap provided, then give the man in the other room a chance to shower if he wanted to. God, did Hanzo hope McCree would want to bathe. Not only would the smell improve, but it would give Hanzo a bit of time to remove his legs without an audience.

 

His hopes were thankfully answered as he exited and McCree got up to take his turn. The door closed, the water turned on, and Hanzo waited a couple of seconds before going for the seal on his legs. The press of a button, followed by a small twist and they were off, Hanzo exhaling in relief as the pain started to subside. He got to work massaging the muscles and kneading the pain from his thighs before McCree was done with his shower. The last thing he wanted was for the other man to see Hanzo's pathetic state, calves and feet missing, long gone and replaced by those damn metal fakes that required too much time and resources to look after and fix. It wasn't because he thought McCree would laugh at and ridicule Hanzo if he saw, the embarrassment and shame was just too much for the assassin that he wouldn't be able to handle the fact someone had seen him looking so broken (because he is, broken beyond repair that isn't limited to the loss of the only parts that would allow mobility, he's a monster who would sooner kill family rather then think things through).

 

A noise from the bathroom tells Hanzo that McCree will soon rejoin him, so he puts the prosthetics back on and pretends to be watching the news even though it's nothing he hasn't heard before. He tries at least, mind informing him that his legs are still in a bit of pain, but it's nothing he can't handle. He's felt worse, so there's no chance Hanzo's going to show that his legs are irritating him.

 

But McCree is _definitely_ smarter than one might think.

 

“Legs doin’ alright? Noticed ya were walkin’ a bit funny earlier.” The fact that he caught on surprises Hanzo, but the archer doesn't let it show.

 

“They are fine.” Short and stern, _always short and stern_ , nothing else. McCree is almost convinced the man has never been kind in his entire life, but Genji had showed him the picture he held onto, of the brothers before everything went wrong. A smiling Hanzo who looked so young and vibrant, now replaced by a scowling man with premature gray hairs.

 

_Does this guy even remember how ta smile?_

 

“Ya sure yer fine? Ya can tell me anythin’, I ain't gonna judge.” He already did that when he first met Genji. Now he's met Hanzo, and almost every single judgemental thought he had crashed out of a five story window with how wrong it seemed. _He never cared_ or _he enjoyed what he did_ , thoughts like those that made the man out to be a monster. McCree has the beginnings of feeling like a bad person, judging a man based on his past actions. Like he has any room to do so after all the shit he's done.

 

That doesn't mean Hanzo is willing to talk to him like he isn't going to shoot the man at any moment.

 

“For the last time, they are fine. Stop asking.” It probably came out harsher than the older man meant it to, but the lingering soreness and constant asking if he's alright got to him. If he says he's fine, that should be the end of it, not an okay to keep asking.

 

_Probably wants me to think he actually cares._

 

He'd laugh out loud if it didn't seem suspicious in some way. That someone other than Genji wants to care for Hanzo, now that's truly funny.

 

McCree makes a face like he doesn't want to listen, but does anyway, going for the unoccupied bed with a nod.

 

“I will take first watch.” This stops the man as he looks at Hanzo who still has his eyes glued to the screen. Nothing is said, but he sees McCree nod in his peripheral and finally settle under the covers. It's an unspoken agreement to have one stay awake in case Talon or someone else decides they want to try and attack during the night. Neither think of it as paranoia or being too cautious since both have humongous targets on their backs. The thought alone causes McCree to smile, glad he's turned away so Hanzo can't give him a cold look for it.

 

They were more alike than the assassin thought.

 

With that in his mind, McCree drifts to sleep while Hanzo tunes out the TV to stare at the crack between the curtains. He's prepared to sit in the same position for the remainder of the night, stock still no matter how much it irritates him to not be doing something to occupy his mind. Hanzo's not really bargaining on the chance his teammate will actually wake up to switch with him. McCree looks like the kind of guy who wouldn't wake up even with five alarms blaring in his ears, but Hanzo tries to remember that this man is also a wanted criminal with a bloody past. He probably knows how to wake up at a moment's notice if he's anything like the assassin. Hanzo most likely doesn't have to worry about McCree not waking up if he needs help, so all of his focus remains on the window.

 

He won't dare move, not even to put on his regular clothes and take off the robe. Hanzo wants to, desperately so, because fighting in anything that isn't his traditional garb is both suicidal and… embarrassingly stupid. He can just imagine it, an enemy finding them and breaking into their room, face to face with Hanzo. While he would be well equipped, armed to the teeth and ready to die, Hanzo will be wearing nothing but a bathrobe that will annoyingly fall open if he moves wrong. He'll be so occupied with the robe that the enemy will kill him and he'll die naked and honorless. The thought alone is enough to beat whatever trained habit is keeping Hanzo sitting still, and he goes to change. He almost finds it disgusting to put on unwashed clothes, but it'll be the price he pays if it means he lives another day or at least dies with most of his body covered. Hanzo is soon back on the bed, bow and arrows by his side with the TV now turned off. It'll only be a distraction if it keeps going in the background, and with the illusion that no one is awake, a potential killer might become relaxed and sloppy. That will be the deciding factor of their fight, and Hanzo will surely win.

 

Hanzo continues sitting, hands unconsciously rubbing at his thighs that still ache from overuse and prolonged attachment to metal legs. The archer chances a glance at the sleeping figure, noting the soft snoring yet slightly stiff body language. He's glad to think he wasn't wrong about McCree actually being a light sleeper, but Hanzo's still prepared to stay up the entire night. He suddenly catches movement by the window, and he goes for his bow, only to have the figure walk by and away from the room. Another resident staying at the motel then, and Hanzo relaxes just a bit.

 

Time passes until McCree stirs, and Hanzo glances at the clock that tells him he's been on watch for nearly three hours. They won't check out until another four from now, wanting to leave early and continue on their way to New Jersey. McCree's grunting makes Hanzo look at him, and he's now staring at a pair of tired eyes looking right at him. He holds the gaze for a few brief seconds before it becomes too unnerving for the archer and he looks away. McCree grunts again and Hanzo hears the old springs before he does the gunslinger’s voice.

 

“Anythin’ happen so far?” Hanzo shakes his head and hears McCree go to the bathroom. When he exits, he's wearing his normal outfit again minus the hat and serape which have been laid on the bed. Hanzo refuses to say anything, not moving an inch and staring between the curtains. McCree sighs behind him and the older man thinks it's exasperation.

 

“Ready ta trade? Could probably use a few winks of sleep yerself.” Hanzo would defiantly bring up the many nights he stayed awake, staring at either the entrances to his temporary stay or just at a wall, but it's not really something he wants to declare with pride. It was never something he enjoyed, fighting against the urge to close his heavy eyes, and sometimes Hanzo lost. Only a couple of times had him waking up just before a sword took off his head or stabbed him through the chest. The memories solidify his decision to not bring up his insomnia, but they do crumble any resistance he has to deny a couple hours of sleep. It may end poorly, and there's a chance Hanzo will awaken not even thirty minutes later, but a tired fighter is as good as a dead one. Hanzo agrees to switch with a nod of his head and resists the urge to glare at the cowboy's shocked expression. He doesn't get under the covers though, simply lays back with his hands folding over his stomach. Hanzo closes his eyes, wondering whether he'll actually get any sleep instead of a brutal nightmare.

 

McCree, despite now tasked with keeping guard, was actually watching Hanzo with shock and awe. He didn't expect the other man to agree to switch so easily, even expected a bit of a fight since The assassin has an attitude that says he wouldn't trust anyone to keep watch and still manage to keep them both alive. Then again, McCree isn't even sure if Hanzo will sleep at all and instead only make it look like he's catching some shut eye. He could be meditating for all McCree knew. What really caught his attention though, was the way the moonlight filtering through the curtains made Hanzo seem to glow. The cowboy was already struck with how beautiful the man before him looked on a daily basis, but something about the moon made the stoic assassin look even more regal and stunning. Even with the casket pose, which McCree shakes off since Hanzo isn't actually _in_ a casket, the archer has a look of fine marble, chiseled carefully over time. If only his personality wasn't as stone cold as that metaphor, then maybe the gunslinger would be able to talk a little better with the man.

 

McCree stifles a sigh and does his job, finally looking away from Hanzo who would no doubt admonish him for staring instead of watching for enemies. The cowboy does steal a few glances every now and then, wanting to burn the image into his eyes because something about it is just so captivating to witness. He's also now convinced that Hanzo is actually asleep even though he hasn't moved an inch. Otherwise he'd have felt McCree's gaze on him and fumed about being stared at instead of the job being done. It isn't long before the younger man starts to feel jittery, and his foot is tapping away on the carpet. He contemplates turning on the TV that he's pretty sure Hanzo powered off, but it might wake the archer and that isn't something McCree wants. Normally, he has a drink with him or a cigar between his teeth, sometimes both, but the motel doesn't allow either despite the flask and cigars currently bundled into his serape. He doesn't know how the brothers have the patience to sit for hours on end, barely even moving. Then again, they've been training since childhood, and McCree most certainly hasn't.

 

Time ticks by slowly as the gunslinger continues his watch, attention on both outside the room and the clock. He doesn't know how he's managed to do nothing for nearly an hour, but McCree is kind of impressed with himself. He looks over at Hanzo who also hasn't moved even a little bit, and McCree swears his face is even more screwed up in a scowl than it usually is. The lines on his face are even more prominent, and his jaw seems wired tight. McCree doesn't have to guess why since he's experienced the same thing before many times.

 

Nightmares. And from the looks of Hanzo, it isn't a mellow nightmare at all. This one looks like the kind that jolt you awake at ungodly hours of the night and leave you breathless with a scream just waiting to burst from your throat. McCree wonders if Hanzo knew something like this was going to happen despite going along with the trade off so easily. The cowboy is preparing himself for when Hanzo does wake up, wondering if the archer will scream or not the moment his eyes open. It'll definitely be a sight to behold, _Hanzo_ screaming into the darkness because of ghosts in his head (probably the ones with metal covering their entire bodies and green lights adorning every inch), but McCree won't judge the man for it. He knows all too well how horrifying those nightmares can get, and if he has to, he'll soothe Hanzo as best he can, hold him close like a mother would her child and murmur comforts as he calms down. The thought alone makes McCree question himself, wondering why he wouldn't mind helping the man he knows barely anything about. The same man who has made it very clear he wants nothing to do with McCree and would probably be grateful if he just dropped dead (but he hopes that's pushing it just a bit because it's not like Hanzo has openly declared he wants McCree dead).

 

When it finally reaches just after an hour and thirty minutes, Hanzo wakes up, eyes snapping open and breath seeming to catch. McCree knows he can't pretend to not notice since he's basically staring in Hanzo's general direction so he can watch the window, but his eyes stay on the crack in the curtains, not the other male. He'll pretend to not notice for a few seconds and let Hanzo gather himself before he speaks. Knowing the archer, he'll be more upset than grateful that McCree witnessed a moment of weakness and tried to comfort him. So he waits until the tension in Hanzo eases and there's no longer a chance of him biting off McCree's head for some harmless concern.

 

“Ya doin’ alright there?” It comes out softer than the gunslinger thought he could ever go, and it also seems to catch Hanzo a little off guard as well. But he quickly gathers himself and looks away while nodding.

 

“Fine. I am fine.” The lie was so evident, but McCree wouldn't call him out on it. When it came to Hanzo, ‘a line you shouldn't cross’ had a whole nother meaning because that line was basically a circle that surrounded the archer. There was no avoiding the line, and consequences followed if someone tried to forcibly step over it. McCree knows he'll have to wait until Hanzo will willingly let him cross it, but until then, 'I am fine’ is as good as he'll get.

 

“Did anything happen?” McCree answers with a shake of his head and he leans back further into the pillows behind him.

 

“Not a thing. It's been nuthin' but quiet the whole time.” Hanzo hums, and it seems he'd rather stay awake then try to sleep again. McCree would take the opportunity to get a few more hours of sleep, but he was on the verge of a nasty nightmare earlier in the night, so any desire for more shut eye immediately flew out the window. Both just sit in silence, McCree itching for something to happen, maybe a conversation starter or the television just magically turning on. Something about the atmosphere in the room makes him not want to move, so reaching for the remote sitting on the bedside table makes him weary and McCree stays as still as a statue. He remembers something like this from his childhood, staring down a dog as it barked and growled just a few feet away. He didn't have to worry about being mauled because of the wire fence separating them, but he still felt like he'd be attacked if he moved an inch. Thinking back, he might have gotten bit and scratched if it was a different situation, and he feels just as tense now as he did then. That's why he's so afraid to do anything because Hanzo can have the attitude of a wild animal ready to pounce at the slightest movement. But then McCree has to remind himself that this _isn't_ a wild animal growling in an attempt to show dominance, rather a closed off man who would still kill him if he wanted, but would most likely be able to be reasoned with (at least he hoped so). Slowly, McCree moves his hand to grab the remote, and when he finally has it in his grasp, Hanzo turns toward him with a sharp whip of his neck that the gunslinger is amazed it doesn't break. McCree holds up the remote and gestures towards the TV.

 

“Mind if I turn it on for a bit?” Hanzo seems to think it over and the younger man watches the challenging gaze slowly dissolve until he receives a grunt that he takes as 'go ahead’. The television is then running once again, McCree flipping through the channels this time to see if there's anything worth another two hours. He doesn't find much, a few channels airing cartoons, others old movies in black and white (which sadly lack anything Western, much to his dismay), even old sporting events for those who want to reminisce about the days when their go-to team was at the top. Sports was something McCree never really got into, so he opted for one of the old movies. If he had to guess what was going on so far, the maiden was trying to come to terms with feelings she shouldn't have for a man who was to marry another. McCree remembered his mother watching these old movies sometimes, and the memory brings a small smile to his face despite the situation he's currently in. A grunt to his left has him looking over at his companion who is watching the screen with a judgemental glare. McCree didn't actually think Hanzo was going to pay attention to the screen and would continue his normal routine of morphing into a gargoyle as he sat still. He's even more surprised when the archer comments on the movie.

 

“Why does she do that?” McCree looks away from Hanzo and back to the screen where the woman is currently trying to convince the man to run away with her.

 

“Do what?” He looks back at Hanzo whose face has morphed from judgmental to disgusted.

 

“Beg for a man who is supposed to marry someone else? Her attempts to run away with him are dishonorable and in vain.” McCree catches a hint of experience in Hanzo's voice, but instead of pointing it out like he normally would, the cowboy settles for a shrug and scratch of his beard.

 

“That's what ya do when ya love a person. Ya want them ta look only at yerself and not anyone else, marriage or not.” Hanzo scoffs and finally looks away from the movie.

 

“Foolish. She is an idiot who needs to move on.” McCree almost feels sorry for the character in the movie with how harsh Hanzo is being to her.

 

“Well, it ain't that simple ta just stop lovin’ someone. Once ya fall, ya fall hard and fast and there's almost no chance of gettin’ back up again.” The older man is now looking at McCree, eyebrow raised and gaze questioning.

 

“You speak from experience?” The cowboy is actually surprised by how much Hanzo is talking with him, wondering where that speech about talking getting you killed went. But hey, it's not like he's going to point that out now and ruin any chance he has of talking with the man ever again, so he ignores yet another thing that would otherwise damage the tiny bit of companionship they have building between them.

 

“Can't say I do. I've liked a few people, sure, but it wasn't what that gal's experiencin’. More like puppy love.” Hanzo doesn't give him a noise this time and just rolls his eyes which McCree almost thinks is adorable in a weird way.

 

“Ya ever liked anyone? Had a feelin’ of puppy love?” The gunslinger can't help the smirk he gives Hanzo, and he wants to kick himself for overstepping a boundary that will most likely make Hanzo cut off the conversation entirely. But that doesn't happen, and he's surprised yet again when Hanzo answers, albeit a bit fast.

 

“No. I can not say that I have.”

 

_Can't or won't?_

 

McCree looks away from the archer and back towards the screen where the woman is now sobbing in a chair because she was rejected. He should actually count himself lucky he's never really had to experience heartbreak like that, falling for someone who he knew wouldn't be able to reciprocate his feelings because of their sense of duty (which he's definitely not going to either because he should know better, but he's fucking Jesse McCree and he will screw up at some point). He just continues to watch the screen as the woman contemplates ending the life of the man she loves and then her own so they can live together in the afterlife.

 

“Why? That seems like a rather counterproductive thing to do for one man.” McCree actually has to agree with Hanzo, unsure as to why she would go so far as to take both their lives when she could just try to find someone else. He then remembers a saying that makes him chuckle, even as he watches the woman on screen advance on the man with a gun.

 

“People always say love makes a person do crazy things. Some just go ta the extreme.” His smile doesn't falter, even as the woman shoots the man and is now aiming to kill the other woman he was supposed to marry, the same one who accidentally walked in on the crime scene. Hanzo scoffs once again, noise almost covered up by the gunshot from the TV.

 

“Such foolishness.”

\-----

They checked out of the motel somewhere around nine and began their walk to the train station just a few blocks away. It was a risk to try and walk among the civilians since McCree was a wanted criminal and Hanzo had assassins coming after him, so both used the back alleys to get to their destination. There was thankfully no one using the alleys, so they weren't seen by anyone, but Hanzo would have preferred the rooftops to cramped spaces between buildings. It was his more preferred method of moving around an area since there's less chance of someone catching you on the roof compared to walking on the ground like they were currently doing. If only McCree was able to keep up then maybe they could have used the rooftops instead. However, it doesn't seem like he has much experience with the tops of buildings, and would probably fall off the moment he tried jumping from one roof to the next. Hanzo would most likely never hear the end of it from the rest of the group if that was the reason McCree never made it back. Death by rooftop mishap. He just imagines that engraved on the man's tombstone (which he definitely doesn't have to stifle a chuckle because it wasn't _that_ funny to think of).

 

They continue through the alleys, taking a chance and having Hanzo pull up his other sleeve to briefly go into a convenience store. They were going to need something to hold them over while on the train, so the archer bought some drinks and snacks, including temporary toothbrushes and toothpaste, not commenting on the stares some of the other customers gave him. He was in and out as quickly as he could go, and they were soon back on their way towards the station, avoiding any alleyways that lead straight to the streets flourishing with people, and somehow managed to reach the train station after what Hanzo thinks was half an hour (because he wasn't counting this time, but had the suspicion it was still that long). He follows McCree who is actually being quiet for once and maneuvering so they aren't spotted by security or staff. Seems the man can be stealthy when we wants.

 

_If only that could be all the time._

 

“Skeleton staff goin’ on it seems. Not many guards which I'd say makes us lucky.” Hanzo counts the number of people guarding the station and is surprised by the low number. He briefly wonders why there aren't more guards posted, but he supposes he should count themselves lucky since that means less chance of getting caught and jailed.

 

“So how exactly are we going to sneak onto the train?” The same one that apparently hadn't arrived yet. McCree is about to answer when he takes the opportunity to slip past a passing guard and duck behind a wall, Hanzo following close behind. Much to his annoyance, there isn't much space in their hiding spot, so he has to get somewhat close to the gunslinger who smells of the cigar he was smoking while they walked through the alleyways. He also takes care not to crush the supplies he had to buy between them, and is grateful the store was selling backpacks big enough to hold everything. Otherwise they would have gotten caught by now with how much noise a plastic bag makes when moved.

 

“Well, we got one of two choices ta make here. We can either hitch a ride on the space between the cars, which ain't bad for a scenic view, or we sneak onto the cargo car that may or may not be cramped. Usually depends on what they're haulin’.” Between the two choices, Hanzo figured it would be better if they weren't out in the open.

 

“Then we hide among the cargo. If there’s room.” And did Hanzo hope that there was because the smell of smoke is starting to give him a headache.

 

“Figured ya say somethin’ like that. Now we just wait for the right train which should be the next one pullin’ in.” McCree was sure it was as he checked the roster and found the train that would take them all the way to New Jersey where they would find a boat heading for Spain. After that was the walk to the Gibraltar base and reporting to Winston or Jack, depending on who he would run into first. Then maybe some much needed rest in his own bed with a bottle of Jack Daniels by his side (and if he's lucky, he'll be able to hang out with the archer some more after the mission is over).

 

“Exactly how long will we have to ride?” McCree thinks for a moment, trying to remember the last time he had secretly ridden the train to New Jersey. Then he remembers that was when he was fleeing from some cops in Alabama, so he makes an estimate.

 

“My guess is one or two days tops, dependin’ on how many stops we make and for how long. We hopefully won't need ta resupply at one of the other stations, but just in case, how much money we got left?” Without missing a beat, Hanzo replies.

 

“Two hundred and eight after the motel and supplies. I trust that will be enough.” McCree counts his blessings that they have any at all and smiles.

 

“Should be if we stay on the train. If all goes well then we won't even need the rest of it.” Hanzo hums and not long after, they hear the shrill whistle of a train pulling into the station. McCree scans the cars to locate the one they'll need to sneak onto until he sees the doors open and the guards start unloading luggage. They manage to get a little closer and McCree waits until he's sure nobody is looking just before bolting for the car, Hanzo right on his heels and taking care not to hit the spurs. He's amazed they haven't made any noise, and he'll have to ask McCree why they were so quiet when he's usually able to hear them jingling from a mile away (because they are loud and crude and he usually can't stand them, much like their wearer). They make it to the car and immediately hide behind some untouched luggage that probably won't be taken off at their current stop. Neither move or even breathe until the doors shut and the whistle sounds again. McCree audibly sighs and sits against a massive pile of suitcases, taking off his hat to fan himself.

 

“Always get so nervous doin’ this kinda stuff. Don't know how you can stay so calm.” It's fairly dark in the car, light peeking through the small cracks in the doors and even tell tale signs of previous attacks by raiders, but he can still see Hanzo's face that doesn't look any different from before. There's seriously not a hint of nervousness or fear showing from the archer, and McCree can only envy him.

 

“I am used to this kind of thing. I was more worried about those guards hearing your boots rather than us being seen. How did you manage to be so quiet?” McCree just laughs and spares a long look at the spurs connected to his shoes.

 

“A little trick I learned over the years. Ya usually hear 'em 'cause I don't have a reason ta be sneakin’ around the base. Also don't fancy an arrow through my skull. But if ya step just right then no one can hear. Should be somethin’ yer familiar with.” Hanzo couldn't deny the truth in those words, raised to be as quiet as the dead when he moved. When he wasn't practicing with his sword or bow, he either studied or learned how to move silently in the shadows. Hanzo definitely understands what McCree is talking about, especially after his legs were replaced with prosthetics. The amount of time it took for him to keep his new legs from clanking loudly when he walked was far too much in his opinion. Thankfully, he finally learned how to stay quiet once more and figures he's now deadlier than when his calves were still made of flesh and bone. A shot to his shin won't immobilize him immediately, and he doesn't think that a metal foot to the gut is a pleasant feeling for anyone. The image, on the other hand, is intolerable for Hanzo because if he does ever lose his legs, he'll be an easy target for anyone. The thought alone riles him up and Hanzo isn't even aware it shows until McCree says something.

 

“Is it the heat that's got ya makin’ a face or did I say somethin’?” Hanzo looks at McCree, pretty sure his face is scrunched in concern before his gaze falls back to his legs.

 

“It is the heat. I did not think train cars would be so humid.” McCree chuckles at that and continues to fan himself with his hat.

 

“That's only 'cause this ain't a car that people are supposed ta ride in. Not ta mention luggage doesn't exactly complain ‘bout bein’ hot.” Hanzo feels his lips twitch in the slightest of smiles at the joke, but it doesn't fully come through. He almost, _almost_ smiled at the joke McCree made and was close to laughing, but Hanzo's happy he didn't. He's also very thankful that the car is too dark for McCree to actually see it happen and that the cowboy is facing towards one of the cracks in the doors. To think, he found something McCree said to be actually funny when he normally can't stand the cowboy's humor with jokes and words that fly right over the archer's head.

 

Hanzo isn't sure whether he should be worried or elated to know he hasn't fully turned into an emotionless mess of mistakes.


	3. Heat to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The train is hot and they have a long ride ahead of them. Talking seems like the only option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have done more research for this fanfic than anything else in my life, you have no idea. I swear I get too invested in characters that aren't even real.
> 
> And that isn't a typo in the chapter title.

He was warned that because the car they stowed away in was meant for bags that it would be hot, but Hanzo found it starting to become unbearable. Despite the cracks in the doors and leftover holes from bullets that were never fixed, barely any wind made it into the confined space, so there was a definite lack of cool air flow which the archer was starting to desperately hope for. Even with one arm exposed, he was so close to just pushing off the rest of his clothes and having both arms free from the heat of the cloth. What kept him from doing so was the lack of dignity that would come with bearing his chest for the man in front of him to see, even with the minimal amount of light. The elder Shimada only exposed half of himself so the sleeve wouldn't catch on the bowstring and he had no obstructions when summoning his dragons. Despite however many hours of the day he went with only one sleeve, Hanzo wasn't too keen on the idea of showing off everything to other people, acquaintances or not. Besides, he already got unwanted attention for the single pectoral out in the open, so he doesn't want to imagine what would happen if both were visible for everyone to see. One thing he has noticed though, is that the heat also seems to be affecting McCree if the serape currently laying on some suitcases and hat still fanning the cowboy is any indication. Hanzo wonders how he's still fine with the body armor strapped to his person, but remembers McCree once saying something about being from a desert area. He's probably experienced worse heat than this, and Hanzo feels the beginnings of sympathy.

 

“Mind handin’ me one of them drinks ya got? Preferably water.” Hanzo's mind comes back to him immediately at the sound of McCree's voice, and he quickly digs into the bag to grab one of the bottles of water (since that was all he grabbed in regards to drinks, not the sugary abomination that is caffeine). The drinks have sadly gotten warmer since his purchase back in the city, but they're still somewhat cool. He hands one to the man in front of him who mutters out a quick thanks and proceeds to take three huge gulps. Hanzo is thankful the gunslinger is aware they need to preserve as much of the supplies as they can, money or not. The more they manage to save on their journey, the better and easier a time they'll have. But now Hanzo is all too aware of the urgent need for something cool on his parched throat, and he finds himself waging war in his mind on whether he should open another bottle so soon or continue waiting. It would be better to conserve what they have no matter how thirsty he gets, but Hanzo is no fool. He'll need to drink at some point or risk fainting from the heat and malnutrition. McCree seems to catch onto that and Hanzo briefly wonders if he can read minds.

 

“Here. Ya need some of this as well.” The man holds out the bottle for the assassin to take, and even with the overwhelming fact that McCree _drank_ from that bottle, Hanzo knows he shouldn't be letting his pride take over right now. He has to drink or face heat stroke on a train. Hanzo takes the bottle, noticing the slight surprise from McCree as he takes a few sips of his own. The water is so very refreshing to him, wetting the dryness in his mouth and cooling his body from the inside. Hanzo doesn't think he's ever found the taste of water so heavenly before, and he has to remember not to moan out in appreciation. He has to will himself to stop before all the water is gone and caps it closed, putting the now half empty bottle back into the bag. Silence falls between them again and Hanzo begins to wonder how long it'll be before night falls. It'll thankfully get a bit cooler and he won't have the threat of being cooked alive inside the car looming over his head again until another twelve hours once the sun goes down. Who knows, maybe they'll get rained on instead and he can actually be grateful for being locked inside a train car instead of cursing whoever thought that not all cars need to have air circulation. Until then, Hanzo has to deal with the heat, the loud rumbling of the train, and the sharp edges of someone else's belongings digging into his back with his quiver adding to the irritation. Why has he not taken if off?

 

The question makes Hanzo even more irritated as he realizes he could have relieved some of the tension on his back by taking off his quiver. He doubts he'll need the arrows any time soon unless the overwhelming urge to jam one into McCree happens sooner or later, and all the doors on the car are locked with some kind of keypad (the only reason they haven't tried to pry open one of them to get some air since they don't need the alarm going off and alerting the entire train), so there's no immediate threat of enemies looking for valuables to steal. Hanzo pulls the quiver up and off, setting it next to his bow, and sighs at the pressure draining from his back. There's still the annoyance of the luggage behind him, but the pressure from that has lessened quite a bit since the removal of his quiver.

 

“That's the second time I've seen ya without yer arrows. Outside of the dinin’ hall of course.” Hanzo's eyes snap towards McCree who is smiling in the dim light provided through the cracks, and the archer just huffs.

 

“There is no reason to keep my quiver on when all it has done so far is stab me in my back. The luggage is already doing that for it.” McCree laughs at that, realizing his armor has protected him from the immediate threat of sharp corners digging into his back muscles. He feels kind of bad for Hanzo who doesn't have anything to protect him from being jabbed by suitcases in the cramped space. Of course, Hanzo has never needed armor before, always out of range or too quick for enemies to hit, and those with the skills to take out the assassin are usually dealt with before they can even aim. Sometimes not even by Hanzo himself.

 

“Could try movin’ some of those suitcases sideways. If they don't make the rest of them fall on ya.” Hanzo turned as much as he could, pulling on the luggage behind him to see if it would give or not. One tug, and Hanzo knew it wasn't about to move without the others stacked on top going with it, so he turned back towards McCree with a more prominent scowl.

 

“It appears I would sooner be crushed than relieved of the annoyance.” And if nothing could be done then he would deal with it for as long as he had to. There were far too many bags threatening to fall onto his head and even more that littered the bottom of the car, no doubt haphazardly tossed inside by whoever was tasked with putting the luggage on the train. Hanzo has dealt with worse than this before, edges of the bags feeling like a dream compared to broken sticks and jagged rocks. He has definitely felt worse.

 

“Then how 'bout ya use this.” Hanzo is surprised when McCree hands him his serape, eyes going wide with shock that the cowboy was actually willing to let him use it to cushion the tension on his back. The man was never seen without it, and Hanzo was sure it was special, yet McCree was handing it over so easily like the cloth was just another blanket. Hanzo didn't feel right taking it.

 

“I am alright. It really isn't that uncomfortable.” Because _really,_ he's had worse digging into his back. He can handle it. But McCree won't let up.

 

“I insist. I got my armor, so there ain't no reason for me ta use it.” Again, Hanzo has had worse. But his tolerance can only last so long. The archer just sighs.

 

“Are you sure?” He knows that when something is very precious, you have to be _immensely_ positive you want someone else to have possession of it. McCree nods at him.

 

“Wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it. Put it behind yer back.” Hanzo gently takes the serape and folds it as neatly as he can before placing it between him and the offending bag. The moment he sits back, it feels _so_ much better, and the older man feels his face soften a little.

 

“Feel better?” Hanzo nods and the gunslinger smiles.

 

“Much better. Thank you, McCree.” The younger man shrugs like the matter isn't important in the least.

 

“I don't need it right now, so the least I could do was help ya out. Though, sorry if yer back ends up hotter than a stove.” Hanzo makes a face at the words, but doesn't comment and goes back to watching what little scenery he can see passing by through the cracks and bullet holes. It's the only thing he can think to do at the moment, wanting to take his mind off the heat and the fact that his back is indeed starting to become even hotter. But it sadly isn't doing much because all he can see are the same colors and blurs going by much too quickly. So Hanzo can only think of doing the next best (or perhaps worse) thing he can think of: starting a conversation with the strange cowboy.

 

“McCree.” Said man immediately looks up from the cigar he was grabbing, face looking like a kid caught stealing sweets before dinner.

 

“The hat and serape, how long have you had them?” Hanzo tries not to scowl at his apparent butcher of the word serape, remembering that not all words work well with his accent. The moment the question is asked, McCree visibly relaxes and grabs the cigar that he had no intention of lighting. He had thought that maybe Hanzo was going to get angry, thinking he was going to smoke in the car and McCree would have to explain how that wasn't the case. He knows that with the little air circulation and already sweltering heat that lighting the cigar would just make everything worse. Though he's even more surprised Hanzo is actually willing to start a conversation with McCree even though the archer acts like the cowboy's very existence annoys him. McCree puts the cigar close to his mouth, but doesn't go to bite it just yet as he thinks of how to start telling Hanzo where his attire came from.

 

“Well, the serape I got from my mom some time after joinin’ Blackwatch. She said she gave it ta me hopin’ it'd remind me of her when I wore it. I sadly didn't wear it much back then on the simple fact I didn't want it ta get ruined. But as ya can see, ended up takin’ a few good hits anyway. Now my hat, I got from my old man. One of the toughest son's a bitches you've ever seen. Wasn't scared of anythin’. Gave me this hat when I was just startin’ ta grow and told me ta keep it safe.” McCree then grabbed the Stetson he had set beside him after deciding to give his arms a rest, and stared down at the gold badge just barely showing his reflection. Time had worn down the once polished piece, and now it struggles to reflect whatever is looking at the badge when it used to act like a spotless mirror. McCree is almost wracked with guilt at letting the hat become so worn and ragged over the years, much like his serape with its singed and frayed edges, but he counts himself lucky they're even still in one piece.

 

“He always had it with him, and one day he just placed it on my head tellin’ me it was now mine ta look after. Don't think anythin’ had ever made me so happy.” The fondness in McCree's voice almost sounds out of place to Hanzo and for once, what he sees before him isn't a seasoned killer, but a man who misses his family and whose heart is just as big as he is. He's actually surprised by the change in attitude, how the usual confidence and calm demeanor has switched to something more melancholic with a bit of nostalgia. He almost feels bad for making McCree remember his past if that's the tone of voice he ends up hearing and the feeling catches Hanzo off guard. He finds he doesn't like the idea of McCree being sad, especially when he caused it. Hanzo isn't sure why it makes him upset to see the usually happy cowboy looking like he might cry if the wrong thing is said, but he realizes why right away.

 

 _It's just like Genji_.

 

McCree's attitude reminds Hanzo so much of his brother when they were younger, always so sure of himself and smiling like an idiot at everyone and everything. Granted, McCree is much more skilled than the younger Shimada had ever been, but the gunslinger has practically the same pitiful look Genji did when he became upset.

 

Hanzo feels his heart constrict with guilt.

 

They both fall silent, the older man not really sure how to progress the conversation and McCree seeming to be lost in his memories of a family he probably hasn't seen in many years. Hanzo kind of understands the feeling of missing family members, remembering how it felt when his mother had died only for his father to follow after her years later, not to mention the guilt at ruining any chance of ever seeing his brother's smiling face ever again. Hanzo does understand missing your family, only he's sure that unlike him, McCree doesn't have to deal with the burden of knowing that because of his actions, someone he once held dear is forever changed drastically. He looks at the man again, taking in the relaxed posture and longing gaze when his eyes fall on the golden belt buckle. Hanzo isn't sure how he feels about it, seeing the big letters that represent one of the weirdest phrases he has ever heard. Genji had been kind enough to provide the information on what McCree's belt meant, and Hanzo couldn't help but wonder what possessed the cowboy to wear something so ridiculous. To always have something saying ‘Bad Ass Mother Fucker’ out in the open for anyone to see, Hanzo thinks maybe McCree was drunk when he decided to start wearing the buckle. That's the only possibility he can come up with to explain McCree willingly wearing something so absurd. He at least hopes that was the reason anyway.

 

“Why do you wear that belt buckle?” McCree finally steps out of his daydreaming and back into reality, a hot train car with a teammate that always looks angry (and he is most of the time), and looks down at the mentioned buckle. A smile spreads across his face, this time falling from content and leaning more towards teasing as he remembers when he first got the buckle.

 

“There ain't no warm story with that. Short version is I went out drinkin’ with some guys from the gang and saw it in the window of a thrift store. Rest of the guys made fun of me for it, but kept tellin’ me how much it fit. Probably the only thing I kept from my days with Deadlock.” Hanzo just raises a brow, the corners of his lips twitching upwards at the realization that he had been right.

 

“So you were drunk when you bought it.” McCree looks away from the buckle and at Hanzo with a bigger grin on his face.

 

“Not really. Not so drunk that I couldn't walk straight anyway, so I knew what I was doin’ at the time.” The assassin's smug smile that he had been trying to hold back finally retreats at the confession, and he just huffs like he knew McCree was lying. The cowboy is now wearing a shit eating grin as the hat is placed beside him again.

 

“Bet’cha don't know the other meanin’ ta my buckle.” Hanzo raises an eyebrow at that and gives McCree a challenging look of 'try me’. He fully accepts that challenge.

 

"It can also stand for 'Bad At Making Friends’.” McCree feels surprised at the tiny snort of laughter he manages to get from Hanzo at that, and the surprise soon morphs into a feeling of accomplishment. He almost doesn't want to say the next words he thinks of and just leave the conversation about the belt buckle at that, but McCree isn't about to pass up the chance to tease the archer a bit.

 

“Although if that's what I was wearin’ it for then I might just have ta give it ta ya instead.” He watches as Hanzo's face immediately falls and he stares at McCree with a mix of shock and anger. The shock is soon overtaken and Hanzo growls before looking away from McCree who is trying desperately to hold in his laughter.

 

“You are lucky I can barely move from my position right now, cowboy, or you would be regretting those words.” The gunslinger can't help but let out a couple of chuckles at that, and he has to bite in his lip to keep himself from letting out a loud string of laughter. He really is grateful that there are so many bags on the floor of the car so that Hanzo can't really get a firm footing or else McCree might have ended up with an arrow at his throat for the remark. He just really couldn't pass up the opportunity to say it.

 

“Sorry partner, but ya left yerself wide open and I couldn't resist.” Hanzo just grunts as a response, no longer holding any desire to fill the silence of the car. He goes back to staring at the outside between the cracks, noting that the sky has turned from a light blue to orange. The sun must be setting then which means night will come soon and maybe the heat surrounding and boiling them both alive in the car will finally subside. Maybe Hanzo will even try and get a few hours of sleep though he doubts that'll happen with how loud and bumpy the train ride is. He thinks the moment he tries, the train will take a corner and Hanzo will be thrown onto a different pile of suitcases. It's already come close to happening twice since they snuck onto the train, so he doesn't want to risk knocking his head onto the corner of someone's luggage by trying to sleep. He doesn't know how McCree can do it, sit so still and manage to not get tossed around by gravity, but he remembers that the cowboy is familiar with trains and has done this many times before while Hanzo usually stayed away from modes of transportation. His feet and training was all he really needed when getting from place to place.

 

“Hey, Hanzo.” Said man snaps his head in the direction of McCree, suddenly snapped out of his trance of staring between the cracks. The younger man looks a little startled at how quickly Hanzo looked at him, but he seems to brush it off fairly easily.

 

“Now I know I might be barkin’ up the wrong tree here, but I thought that maybe… ya wouldn't mind sharin’ a bit 'bout yer family. Since I shared a bit 'bout mine.” Hanzo scrunched his nose in confusion, wondering what a tree and dog had to do with sharing family history, but he has learned from the few interactions with the strange man to not think so deeply about his words. It didn't seem to get him anywhere when trying to make sense of it, and McCree seemed more than pleased to leave Hanzo in the dark about what he had meant, so he's not even going to bother anymore. He won't, but the urge to find out still annoys him and Hanzo is almost willing to ask the other members what McCree is saying when he talks.

 

The matter of his family on the other hand, is still a touchy subject for Hanzo to approach, mainly about his brother. He knows that everyone currently a part of the renegade group is aware he didn't exactly come from a family with a clean background, not with the fact he was ordered to murder his only sibling by the elders and followed through with it still looming over his head, but he doesn't have many good memories associated with the clan. Hanzo had never gotten the chance to be an ignorant child like Genji, not knowing what it was his family did when night fell and why his father was never really around. The archer knew everything because he was supposed to take over one day. Only now, instead of ruling over an empire of assassins and liars, he's being targeted by them and has joined another group also working from the shadows. At least this time, they're trying to save innocent civilians and take down an evil group instead of killing rival clans just to expand their own territory and killing those that someone wants to have taken out, petty reasons or not.

 

“Ya don't gotta tell me if ya don't want, just thought I'd make small talk since it looks like the ride’ll still take another twelve ta fifteen hours or so judgin’ by how dark it's gettin’.” Hanzo looks out yet again and sees that it has indeed begun to get dark out. He does the math quickly in his head and realizes they've been riding the train for close to ten hours, passing the time by staring at scenery through barely inch wide cracks. Knowing that, the idea of talking the entire time over trying to sleep with the threat of luggage falling on him is rather appealing.

 

“I suppose it is only fair. Did you have anything specific in mind?” He honestly hopes the question doesn't pertain to Genji in any way.

 

“Guess we could start with what yer parents were like if ya want.” Hanzo feels himself relax at that and stares at a bright blue bag situated at his feet as he remembers his parents.

 

“My parents were… distant, in a way. Their marriage, like all the others, had been arranged by their families. It was not out of love, but they seemed to tolerate each other. My mother was kind, elegant, but I believe she resented being married into the clan. She did not talk with my father much, but I think she preferred it that way. My father was usually taking care of matters regarding the clan, so he was never around often. The only time I really spoke to him was when he was overseeing my training.” And even then, all he really got was judging stares, and instead of words of encouragement, he would be scolded for the skills he still lacked. If he really had to describe his father to anyone, Hanzo would only be able to come up with cold and detached. He wasn't sure if it was the burden of leading the clan or if his father had simply been raised that way much like Hanzo himself. He just knew that while his father was a proud and strong man, he could not say the same about him being a husband and parent. It seemed as though the clan always came first, even when assassins were aiming to take the lives of the young heirs. Hanzo and Genji weren't saved because his father loved them, rather he thinks it was because he needed a next in line.

 

Hanzo's family situation was nothing like McCree's, it still isn't. McCree never had to deal with being first in line to take over a clan, never had to listen to his father chide him for not doing good enough, never had to carry the burden of killing his brother just to please people he rarely spoke to. The difference to Hanzo is understandably massive.

 

“Yer tellin’ me yer parents were forced ta get married? When they didn't even love each other?” Hanzo nods which makes McCree huff in what he can only interpret as disgust. It's something that catches the archer off guard since he has never heard or seen McCree upset in such a way.

 

“Partner, don't take this the wrong way, but that is one of the stupidest things I've ever had the misfortune of hearin’.” Hanzo crinkles his nose at the declaration, of McCree basically bashing one of the traditions of his family. He isn't really sure how to feel about it, knowing that not everyone sees an arranged marriage as morally correct, but he does think one thing when he remembers the fact that he was going to be subjected to the same thing.

 

“I actually agree.” He knows it catches McCree off guard since Hanzo hasn't really expressed any kind of mutual feelings since they met, and he has the distinct feeling he needs to elaborate as to why he can relate with McCree's thinking on the matter.

 

“It is a tradition. I was also going to marry a girl I did not know when I took over. She would be of high social standing, part of a clan or not. So long as she brought power and influence, it did not matter the girl. Another thing that did not matter were our feelings about marrying someone we barely knew.” He doesn't know if the man can hear, but the archer notices the darker tone of his own voice. He hears McCree growl in anger, and Hanzo isn't sure how he feels about these new sides of the gunslinger he's seeing for the first time.

 

“That's a load of horse shit. Nobody should be forced ta marry someone they ain't never met, tradition or not. Ya marry 'cause ya want ta get married, not 'cause ya have ta.” Hanzo didn't say or do anything to solidify his agreement with McCree's rant, but he did feel the same as the man on the inside. He had never liked the idea of marrying a girl he had never met before, wouldn't care what kind of upbringing she had and whether or not she would even be able to carry the weight of being married to the leader of the clan. He had wanted to marry someone that made Hanzo happy and made him feel like he wanted to give them the entire world, something that asinine _tradition_ wouldn't let happen. Not unless he somehow managed to actually fall in love with the girl chosen for him, and the chance of that happening was slim at best.

 

“Never thought I'd say this, and I sure don't want ya gettin’ mad at me for it, but if that's what was waitin’ for ya after yer dad died, then I'm happy things turned out the way they did. Except for the whole… ya know. I just think no one should have ta deal with that.” Despite McCree's words, Hanzo did feel a pang of anger at the ordeal about his brother being brought up. The archer himself was in no way happy about how things turned out, working for a rogue operation with assassins around every corner trying to take his life. Having to constantly be reminded of his mistakes every time he saw the metal body adorned with green lights, and even now, being forced to ride in a train car that was boiling hot, bags digging into his skin, and with an over the top character that was more trouble than help. He didn't like it one bit, but he can agree with the sentiment about being able to get out of an arranged marriage. Of course, sympathy from McCree of all people was really the last thing he was expecting or wanted, but it did get rid of the small amount of anger he felt. Hearing someone tell him that he shouldn't have to listen to other people who want to dictate his life, someone who he hasn't known for long and isn't part of the Shimada clan, made the man happy in a strange way, and he felt gratitude at hearing what the cowboy had to say.

 

“Thank you, McCree.” Said man just stares at Hanzo again, caught off guard once more as the assassin before him shows emotions other than fury and regret. Once the initial shock has passed and McCree has gathered his thoughts, he smiles wide around the cigar between his teeth.

 

“No problem, Hanzo. Honestly thought ya were gonna get angry and try ta hit me with an arrow, but I'm glad that didn't happen.” Hanzo huffs and makes a point to look away as his lips quirk up into the tiniest of smiles, something he didn't know he could still do.

 

“Do not worry cowboy, once this is over and we are back at base, I fully intend to make you pay in full.” He chances a glance at the man he's currently threatening, noting the sudden stiffness of his shoulders at realizing his life may very well be in danger.

 

“That's… yer jokin’, right?” Hanzo just shrugs, looking back at McCree since he was able to force down the smile.

 

“Do I look like I am joking?” In all honesty, he actually is, not really having any desire to harm McCree in any way at the moment, knowing it was mostly mindless ranting that he was doing, ranting Hanzo agreed with. He just felt the sudden urge to make the man squirm under his gaze and watch as he became uncomfortable and weary, something Hanzo really shouldn't be finding so much enjoyment in doing, but he couldn't help himself.

 

“Well… no. Ya don't. Maybe? Be really nice if ya told me whether ya were or not, actually.” Hanzo rolls his eyes and lets out a huff.

 

“I guess you will never know.” He could relieve McCree thinking of the off chance that he is in fact not joking, but Hanzo finds he doesn't really want to, having no idea where this playful nature came from. He was only ever like this with Genji, running the younger Shimada in circles with how vague he was until his brother couldn't take any more. He wonders if he could still do something like that with Genji, but it has become painfully obvious that his brother is no longer the same boy he knew while growing up. Not when he is told wisdom the previous Genji would never say, when he catches glimpses of meditation sessions that the previous Genji would never attend, when he is not constantly made fun of for not knowing how to have fun like the previous Genji would take every chance to do. He can't call them simpler times, where he was first in line to take over and Genji did whatever he wanted to show how he felt about being born into a criminal empire, but he also can't call the years he's spent running and grieving simple either. It's most likely a feeling Hanzo will never experience.

 

“If ya aren't jokin’, what is my punishment gonna be?” Hanzo has noticed that McCree's body language has gone from terrified to curious, maybe with a bit of teasing mixed in. He can't really tell. He also didn't think McCree would ask such a thing and hadn't actually thought of anything for a fake punishment. Thankfully, his mind works fast and gives him the perfect idea to tease the man with.

 

“I am going to have you be my practice dummy. I try and hit you with my arrows while you try to survive.” The nervous chuckle he gets makes Hanzo want to let out a laugh of his own at how easily he's able to mess with McCree. He didn't think he'd be able to act like this again, least of all with the strange gunslinger of all people, but he's thinking that it wasn't a bad idea to start a conversation if this is the outcome. Hanzo has never really been one for teasing, always wanting to get straight to the point, so this change is quite shocking, though not entirely unwelcome.

 

It's only when he notices that the sun has fully set and night has fallen does Hanzo begin to think that it didn't last long enough.

 

His mood immediately falls as he notices the inside of the car get much darker, the moon barely providing any light which forces Hanzo to strain his eyes. McCree has completely disappeared from his vision, the archer only managing to find him when the man shifts or makes a noise. Hanzo tries not to dwell on the blackness of the car, blocking out any demons that might try and worm their way in. After everything that happened with the clan, darkness hadn't been much of a friend for Hanzo, proving to be more harmful than helpful. He often saw shadows that danced in the dark, saw silhouettes of people that weren't there, and swore he heard voices call his name even though he was alone. Hanzo never thought there would come a day where he would want to keep talking, but as he continues to sit there in the dark car (which has thankfully stopped feeling like an oven, but his mind is too occupied to notice), he can't think of anything else other than the total blackness that he sees.

 

He doesn't think McCree has noticed the new rigidness that has taken over Hanzo since it's probably too dark for either to tell where the other is by sight. He's contemplating firing a sonic arrow into a corner of the car just so he can tell where the man is and have some way to see his surroundings. He knows nothing has changed, the same bags are right where they were at the start if the trip, his bow and quiver are still next to him, and McCree is still just a few feet away, close enough to where Hanzo could probably tap him with a metal foot if he wanted to. Everything is still the same, only they now have the threat of dark figures taunting Hanzo with his past. Hanzo does the only thing he can think to do and closes his eyes, not really seeing a change, but knowing there's now a lesser chance of seeing shadows.

 

A sudden click and orange light on his eyelids has him snapping them open to see McCree holding up his lighter. Hanzo thinks he looks visibly startled at the sudden brightness since McCree looks like he wants to apologize, but he settles for something else that isn't a comment on how jumpy the archer is.

 

“Don't think ya bought a flashlight or somethin’ from that store, did ya?” Hanzo just stiffly shakes his head and McCree clicks his tongue.

 

“Damn. Was hopin’ ya did. Don't laugh when I tell ya this, but I ain't the biggest fan of dark, cramped spaces.” Hanzo hadn't even had the slightest desire to laugh at that, knowing full well how the man feels. He can only think to sigh and turn away to mutter out the first words that come to his mind.

 

“Neither am I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to the open, relatable talk just yet.


	4. Shop 'Til You... Are Broke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get unwanted attention and end up being directed to a rather outrageous store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo won't be happy in this.

The train ride had been longer than they wanted, having stayed in the car for another thirteen hours. Their stops were brief and thankfully, no one attacked the train seeking to rob those with money and jewels. Between the two, they managed to eat most of the snacks and drank three of the seven bottles of water Hanzo bought. It was already apparent they would need to buy more supplies before sneaking onto the boat, but their first task was sneaking off of the train. McCree had warned Hanzo that the attempt to leave would be harder than getting on. Hanzo had brought up the many times McCree had walked away from sneaking onto trains, but it was met with a wry laugh and the confession that the staff on the train let him walk away. Saving trains from thieves and making sure no one dies tends to make working staff a lot less hostile when you don't have a ticket. Hanzo could only huff and prepare to try and get past security undetected. A simple feat for him, but he knows McCree doesn't have the best track record when it comes to people who work for the law.

 

He wasn't a wanted man for nothing (even if it was mostly for things he didn't do, as previously stated).

 

They wait behind piles of bags that had both dwindled and grown with the three stops they made, feeling the train ease into the station and finally stop. First voices, then the sound of someone unlocking the doors with the keypad. The light that poured in the moment the doors slid open temporarily blinded the two, wincing as their eyes strained to adjust to the sudden brightness. One thing McCree never enjoyed when he snuck into the cars instead of opting for the roof, was how dark the train cars were compared to outside. It always felt like he had used a softer version of Deadeye when he was finally about to get off.

 

When their eyes stopped burning and they saw a clearing of the staff, McCree motioned for them to move. Hanzo followed behind the man, eyes scanning the surrounding area to make sure no one was looking their way. So far so good. They managed to quickly find a single stall bathroom, running inside and locking the door. McCree audibly sighed and his shoulders sagged once he felt they were safe enough for the moment. They already had a bit of a plan going as far as reaching the docks where they would find the boat they needed to sneak onto, but neither were sure how smoothly that would go. It was also decided that they would have to forgo finding a place to clean themselves and their still dirty clothes, something Hanzo was practically steaming with anger about, but would accept anyway. McCree already had a solution.

 

“So from what I remember, ships can take at least one ta two weeks, mainly dependin’ on weather and how big it is. That means we need ta buy enough stuff ta last us the entire trip. Includin’ some new clothes.” Hanzo nodded, thinking changing was better than keeping on their current garments any longer. It's not like he wasn't used to going days before washing whatever clothing he had with him, but even then he still managed to find ways to get them clean, be it a machine in a hotel or a river in the woods. He just hoped they had enough money to buy everything that they would need.

 

“I assume you know where to go from here.” He should hope that McCree does since the United States was practically foreign territory to Hanzo. So far, every place he's been to, both on this mission and the previous few, looked the same, and he wouldn't be able to tell one building from the other without proper guidance. The gunslinger has proven to be capable enough since their loss of the carrier and being stranded across the ocean.

 

“First stop once we get outta here is a clothin’ store. Hopefully we find somethin’ cheap. Next is supplies, food and drinks, bags ta carry it all, and we might have enough for ice packs. It'll depend on how much we're willin’ ta spend.” Hanzo grunted, scowling at a cockroach crawling along the bathroom floor.

 

“Your knowledge of all this is still surprising to me.” McCree chuckles, looking away from the archer and towards the mirror that seems to have a small crack in one of the corners.

 

“Ya learn quite a bit runnin’ for yer life. Shoulda seen me the first time I tried stealin’ a ride on a ship. Damn near got caught durin’ the trip and with nuthin' ta hold me over. Ended up havin’ ta steal rations from the crew.” Hanzo shakes his head at the near stupidity of not being prepared, knowing full well that you need to be ready for almost anything, any possibility you might come across. Granted, he's also never tried to ride on a boat undetected, but he knows it's not something to take as a simple matter. Not if it's anything like sneaking onto a train.

 

“So how are we going to go about getting out of here? It seems there are far more people, and therefore far more guards. You are a wanted man, and I have a bow and arrows on my person.” McCree nodded in thought, looking down at himself then back at Hanzo. He knew that the face he was making must have tipped the older man off to what he was thinking if the scowl told him anything.

 

“I got a bit of an idea. Ya might not like it.” Hanzo just scoffed.

 

“There seems to be a reoccurring theme when you mention these plans of yours.” McCree laughed and went to undo his serape.

 

“Only where yer concerned, partner. Followin’ other people's ideas ain't really yer thing.” Hanzo knew he couldn't deny that, not after what happened the last time he decided to follow orders. Hell, his entire life was basically set on making sure he never broke the rules, and that's probably why he's so reluctant to do so now. Maybe his rebellious streak has finally reared its head.

 

“Then let's hear this plan of yours.” McCree smiled and took off his serape, once again handing the cloth to Hanzo who could only knit his brows together in confusion. It only lasted a few seconds before he seemed to catch on, much to the pleasure of the cowboy.

 

“Ya wear this over yer weapon and we try not ta get seen in the crowd. Once we're in the clear, we make a break for it ta the nearest store, clothes or supplies. Whichever we find first.” Hanzo nodded like McCree had asked for confirmation that he understood, and grabbed the serape with a scowl.

 

“But you still stand out. Someone is bound to recognize you.” The gunslinger shrugged and pulled the front of his hat down a bit.

 

“All I gotta do is keep my head low and stay outta sight of security. Shouldn't be too hard, but make sure ta stick close.” Hanzo sighed and went to wrap the serape around himself, only to realize he didn't know how to put it on. He had never seen McCree dress to get an idea, not in the motel because his back was turned, and the train car had been too dark even with the little sun filtering through. If he had to guess on how to wear it, all he had to do was throw some of the ends over his shoulders and that would suffice. He really didn't want to ask McCree for help on how to wear a damn piece of cloth. A rather _big_ piece of cloth. Now he knows why it blocked the suitcase edges so easily when folded because there was so much to work with. Thinking he should just go for it and try, Hanzo flung the serape around him, making sure it didn't catch on his bow and arrows and rip. When he was successful in not tearing more holes into the fabric and adding to the worn and beaten look, Hanzo tossed the corners of the serape over his shoulders and stared down at his work. He thought it looked alright for a first attempt without any idea what he was doing, but when he looked at McCree, the archer felt a sharp pang of anger at the look the cowboy was wearing. It looked like the man wanted to laugh at either the attempt or just the look of Hanzo wearing such a thing, but he quickly got his answer.

 

“Guess that's one way of puttin’ it on. Not like ya gotta wear it all day.” McCree then noticed one of the points of the bow creating a rather prominent mountain from under the serape, and thought on how to make it disappear without forcing Hanzo to adjust the hold on his weapon. Any lower and it might hinder the man's ability to walk as well as stick out even more from under the cloth. The amount showing right now, he could easily cover by walking behind Hanzo when they try to leave. And it wasn't like many people looked down instead of forward. It was then that he looked up and the brim of his hat came into view, making McCree smirk at the idea he got. Taking off his hat, the man placed it over the bow, trying to make it look like it was simply resting on the assassin's back. Hanzo didn't move, too curious wondering what McCree was doing instead of batting the man away. When he was satisfied, the gunslinger moved away and looked over his work, giving a nod of approval.

 

“That oughta do for now I think.” Hanzo glared at his attire before looking at McCree with skepticism.

 

“Are you sure this will work? Will this not make you easier to spot?” The cowboy shook his head and pointed at the hat.

 

“Believe it or not, the hat will make me easier ta pick out in a crowd. It's in the picture they got as basically my mugshot, so it's safer if ya have it like that.” Hanzo nodded at the information, feeling the unconscious urge to pull off the serape with how trapped his arms felt. He wasn't sure how McCree did it all the time, still manage to shoot with the thing hanging over his body, but then he remembers his right arm, his shooting arm, is always free. Much like Hanzo and his dragons, their clothes are adjusted so they don't get in the way. But it was still too much for Hanzo, and he was already wanting to take the thing off and fling it far away from him. Something like the serape wasn't a good thing for him in their situation, especially if he needed to reach for his bow during their mission to go undetected. Not to mention the strong smell of cigar smoke and what he could only interpret as body odor if the sour stench meant anything. Now he really wanted to take the thing off, but for the time being, Hanzo would have to deal with being confined in the smelly cloth.

 

“May we go now? I want to take this off as soon as possible.” He didn't bother trying to hide his displeasure, never really did even when he was young, and McCree had the gall to chuckle at the archer's discomfort.

 

“Guess we can.” McCree grabbed the backpack and slung it over a shoulder, following Hanzo out of the bathroom and into the crowd of people. They followed the flow, lowering their heads whenever a guard came into view and managing to not draw too much attention. The exit of the station came into view, and both were close to making a break for it when they suddenly heard a man yelling.

 

“You! Stop!” Both froze in their tracks along with the rest of the people around them and looked to see where the voice had came from, only to see a guard walking their way. He was frowning and every step he took with his boots was loud to their ears. Neither moved for fear he might pull a gun and try to shoot them, but they also weren't sure what to do. They could only stare and watch the man along with the others around them, and both men felt their hearts quicken as he got closer and closer-

 

Until the man walked right past them and instead went up to a guy with three different bags. The man looked just as startled as they probably did, and both watched for a bit as he was accused of having far too much to be on a normal trip. Neither wanted to watch long for fear the guard might turn on them next, so they continued following the crowd out of the station and onto the streets. When they were out in the open and away from the station, McCree let out a loud sigh and held his metal hand to his chest.

 

“That was too damn close. Nearly gave me a heart attack and he wasn't even talkin’ ta us.” Hanzo nodded, also feeling like his heart was trying to leap out of his chest with how much the situation put him on edge. He was so sure the guard was heading for them and had seen through their ruse, that he had recognized McCree, hat or not. He's thankful the man didn't or else they might have ended up either fighting their way out of the station or be put in custody and then in jail once they found out who McCree was. Neither was a situation Hanzo wanted to deal with.

 

“Now we just gotta find cheap stores. Would help if we had a map or somethin’ though.” Hanzo had to agree with that statement, everything looking foreign and unfamiliar the more they walked. He looked in the windows, hoping to see something that they could buy and not spend every dollar they had, but nearly everything he saw looked like it would be worth all of their money, and that would end up leaving them broke and with no way to buy food. He didn't really see any general food stores either, wondering if they were going to have to ask for directions to find any stores that carried what they needed. It was a risk to do so, drawing attention to themselves because they were basically acting like lost tourists (because that's actually what they were), but it was a risk they would have to take it they wanted to hurry and head for the shipyard as soon as they could. It was still morning, but Hanzo figured the sooner they left, the better he would feel. Asking for directions seemed like the only option, and he was about to suggest the idea to McCree when he noticed the man had stopped a few feet behind him to talk with a woman.

 

He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice McCree lag behind, and now that he was aware of his surroundings, he noticed just how many stares he was getting from passerbys. It irked Hanzo that they didn't consider how rude they were being, even the lack of subtlety was so appalling to the archer. He knew he looked ridiculous, but that didn't mean they had to stare like he was a statue that had been made to be a display for people to gawk at. He chanced giving some of the civilians his usual death glare and most quickly looked away in embarrassment for being caught. The few that didn't look away tried to send one back, but kept walking nonetheless, not looking to actually accept the challenge Hanzo was issuing. He felt a little proud at the lack of a challenger from the other people, but quickly squashed it. Now was not the time to be looking for a fight and starting one in the middle of a street. Hanzo chose to ignore the stares that still got under his skin and waited a little bit before McCree was finally by his side again with directions for them to follow.

 

“Got info on where ta find cheap clothes and supplies. Lady told me we just gotta keep headin’ this way for a couple blocks then take a left. There should be a clothin’ store on our right and one that sells food just a few buildin’s after.” Hanzo didn't give any confirmation, just started walking with the younger man following behind him once again.

 

“Glad to see you are getting along so well with the locals.” McCree huffed out a quick laugh behind him and shrugged.

 

“That's just my charm, is all.” Hanzo couldn't stop the roll of his eyes and was tempted to leave the man behind for good this time. It would mean less money spent on new clothes and more supplies for him when he snuck onto the boat, would even give him some peace and quiet during the ride instead of having to deal with the other man's constant need to learn more about him. That lack of smoke drifting through the air would be a bonus, but while the idea is tempting, Hanzo would never hear the end of it from both McCree and the Overwatch members if he just left the man to fend for himself and showed up at the base alone. Besides, as he had shown on the train, the cowboy can actually be pleasant company when he wants to be instead of constantly making bland jokes because he's bored. Jokes that actually sometimes have Hanzo holding in laughter, something he still finds puzzling because he isn't even sure when the last time he laughed was. But those that he never understand and need to be explained (but he's too prideful to ask anyone to do so, not that he'll say it out loud) still leave the assassin puzzled and questioning the workings of the cowboy's mind.

 

“We sure are gettin’ a lotta attention. People act like they ain't seen a tourist before.” McCree has noticed the many stares others are giving them simply by walking down the sidewalk, and he's starting to feel very exposed being out in the open like this. It's not normally something he gets to experience, feeling like he needs to cover up and shy away from the looks of those around him, but McCree feels almost naked without his hat and serape. With them, he's confident and sure of himself, not to say he usually isn't without the two items, but being out amongst strangers like this who could turn on him in an instant doesn't sit well with a trained fighter who isn't wearing his trademark. The gifts from his family no less.

 

“You are just now noticing? They have been staring for quite some time, understandable given that you are wearing armor out in the open and I… just look absolutely ridiculous.” The gunslinger chuckles at that and tries to ignore those walking the sidewalks with them that can't seem to keep their eyes to themselves or on something else.

 

“Ya only look that way 'cause of that bow on yer back. That, and ya just threw it on haphazardly. Kinda ruins the look.” Hanzo grunts, knowing full well how lazy he had been with the serape. That doesn't mean he needed it to be pointed out.

 

“Yet I did not see you trying to help with my wearing this thing.” He turned to shoot the man a stern glare that just gets a small smile and raise of a hand as a defense.

 

“In all honesty, partner, ya looked like ya woulda slugged me if I did.” That wasn't untrue since Hanzo was rather upset at the idea he had to wear something so unclean with smoke and sweat still clinging to every thread. Using it as a cushion was one thing, wearing it so they didn't get arrested for carrying weapons out in the open was another. The _only_ reason he wasn't throwing the serape at McCree right now, demanding he do something about the smell.

 

“Let's just hurry and find these places.” McCree didn't say any more and they continued until reaching the road they were told to follow. A little longer and they stopped in front of a store with band t-shirts and baggy jeans hanging in the windows. Hanzo felt himself frown even more, realizing his traditional clothing would end up being switched out for something a teenager would normally wear. His eyes narrowed at a rather gaudy shirt that looked like something Genji would buy, all black with what appeared to be green paint splashed onto the piece of clothing with 'NINJA IN THE HOUSE' in bright, bold blue. Hanzo wasn't sure why, but he felt insulted.

 

“Well, not my normal style, but beggars can't be choosers. Not like we got any other options.” He looked at McCree and noticed the man was also giving the clothes a concerned look, like he was being forced to wear it for someone else's entertainment after losing a bet. Hanzo didn't think he was wrong about the being forced part since they really had no other options.

 

“I suppose not.” The elder Shimada knew there was no other way, but he was very reluctant to step even one foot into the store. He didn't even move until McCree went before him and opened the door enough to let Hanzo follow after the cowboy. The inside looked even worse in the assassin's opinion, an arrange of colors that either hurt his eyes or made him wonder why they would use it for a shirt. The pants weren't any better, a mix of jeans and shorts that sometimes had outrageous designs. Hanzo felt hopelessly out of his element and felt he should stick to McCree if only to feel a hint of familiarity among the sea of brightly colored abominations.

 

“Guess we better start lookin’ for somethin’. Hopefully they got our sizes.” Hanzo just stared at the many racks, nearly closing his eyes in pain when they landed on a bright yellow shirt hanging on the wall. He didn't even see the design on it, feeling like he just looked directly at a miniature version of the sun. He knows where not to look for the remainder of their time in the store now. McCree started walking towards a rack full of clothes, the sign above it saying it held large and extra large. He began sifting through the various shirts, passing over most of them and pulling out a few to get a better look. Hanzo simply watched as the cowboy pulled a couple off the rack and held them up for the archer to look at.

 

“Looks like Genji's style don't it?” Hanzo had to agree, realizing both shirts looked like something his brother would have sitting in a drawer full of clothes meant for nighttime outings. The older man nodded and McCree put both of them back, looking over the many shirts once again. Hanzo didn't touch any of them, eyes scanning the various designs, noting how some were simple and others very elaborate. He spotted one, a dark red shirt with silver cursive letters in the top left corner. Hanzo was sadly unable to make out which letters they were, but was happy to find something that didn't look over the top in the store. He grabbed it, holding the piece up to study it, and figured that was as simple as he was going to get. Hanzo checked the tag, eyebrows raising at how cheap it was, and nodded to himself about his choice. That was one shirt down, and both figured that if they stayed in one outfit every two days they were on the boat, then all they would need was close to four or five different outfits. Whether they would have to wear the same clothes again remained to be seen, but it was as good of a plan as any. The only problem was whether or not they had enough money to buy ten outfits and still have enough for food and drinks. They were about to find out once both had their clothes chosen and ready for purchase.

 

McCree had already managed to find three different shirts, all cowboy themed (let Hanzo laugh, he wasn't passing up this chance), and had wandered over to the jeans. He was disheartened to find out most of the ones on the rack he was looking at were skinny jeans, even if they were his size. He had tried to wear skinny jeans during his Deadlock years, but they proved hard to move in and squeezed the life out of his lower half, so much so he feared for the family jewels. McCree made the solemn vow to never again wear anything that ungodly tight no matter how good his ass looked (and it looked amazing according to girls he passed by on the street, but the pain wasn't worth it). The cowboy smiled when he found a nice loose pair that wouldn't crush that which he held precious, and proceeded to look for a few more pairs like it. He managed to wander as far as the back corner of the store, just now noticing the cashier who was leaning against the counter and scrolling through his phone. He looked like he belonged amongst the various pieces of colorful clothing, wearing a neon green shirt and, god forbid, black skinny jeans that McCree couldn't help but wince at. How did the kid wear those and still manage to stand? He didn't pay the boy any more attention since it also seemed like his presence didn't register with the cashier just yet, and went about looking for more clothes that hopefully didn't make his situation look like a man going through a midlife crisis. He wondered if the same could be said for Hanzo who seemed to be on the other side of the store, looking with his eyes instead of his hands unlike McCree. He chuckled at that, all too aware of how out of place Hanzo felt amongst the clothing they were sifting through. He was happy though, to see that the man had already found a few items worth paying for. McCree was almost worried they were going to have to go into one of those expensive looking stores they passed and spend everything they had, but he knew Hanzo was aware of the importance of spending as little as possible for the time being.

 

Going back to his shopping (wow the man never thought he'd ever think something like that unless it came to food for the base), McCree spotted some shirts that looked out of place. They looked like the flannel shirts he usually wore, but slightly different, probably meant as more of a fashion statement than an actual garment. He looked them over, only finding a couple that were in his size, but figured one wouldn't hurt. He thought about it quickly and decided on the white flannel (could he call it as such?) with black and blue lines crisscrossing all over the fabric. The sleeves were already rolled up and apparently held there by small straps held by buttons attached to the upper part of the sleeves. Feeling like he accomplished finding something close to normal clothes in the store, McCree continued his search for normal jeans to go with the shirts, succeeding in his mission in the span of a couple of minutes. Now he needed to make sure Hanzo was doing alright in his search, crossing to the other side of the store and finding the archer staring at a rack carrying both jeans and shorts. He seemed to be deep in thought and didn't even acknowledge McCree's presence until the gunslinger spoke.

 

“Can't find pants in yer size?” It wasn't meant to be teasing in the slightest, McCree knowing that if that was the case then Hanzo would be forced to wear the pants he already has which would make him grumpier during the trip, but the look sent his way made it feel like he was messing with the man.

 

“That isn't the problem. I have already found quite a few that would fit, but…” Hanzo trails off and looks down, McCree following his gaze and immediately understanding why the man was so indecisive about pants. His prosthetics were rather large where metal connected to flesh, and would sooner rip a pair of jeans if they were too tight. He thinks that's why Hanzo is being hesitant because what he is normally able to wear would be ruined by the metal legs. If he wore pants anyway.

 

“Ya can't wear shorts instead? Not like it'll be much of a difference ta what yer already wearin’.” Hanzo pursed his lips and grabbed at one of the shorts on the rack, McCree noting that it was one of the less flashier ones with a lot less rhinestones glued to the pockets. Hanzo held it up, seemed to ponder for a moment, then sighed in what McCree determined was defeat.

 

“Seems I have no choice. It is simply that everything in here looks as if it was thrown into a pile of glitter and paint.” McCree nods his head and tries to help Hanzo find less sparkly shorts that won't make him look like a Christmas tree, managing to spot a couple on a nearby rack that would do the trick. They were still a little too sparkly for Hanzo's liking, but he didn't really have the time or place to argue. Pretty soon, both had enough clothes in their arms to make it look like they were buying a good portion of the store. Both thought they'd take a chance and only buy four outfits between them, walking up to the cashier who seemed to finally notice the two men. He seemed to study them for a moment, eyes flicking between the clothes and the men carrying them before getting ready to ring up the purchase. McCree put the clothes he chose in a pile on the counter while Hanzo was more methodical about it, setting down each shirt with a pair of shorts until they were stacked and more organized than McCree's. The cowboy was sure that if he could, Hanzo would have gone through the trouble of even folding every piece so the cashier didn't have to. They waited until all the clothes were rung up, wondering just how much they'd have left by the end of it. The boy finally reached the last pair of jeans, pressed some buttons on the register, and looked at them with a bored expression.

 

“Hundred thirty-one, seventy-three.” Both men looked between each other and McCree grabbed the money from one of his pockets, counting out the amount before handing it to the teen. He opened the register, put the money inside, and grabbed some coins to hand back to McCree. The money was pocketed with the rest and they took the bags, heading for the dressing rooms that were thankfully designed along with the store. One for females and another for males. Hanzo wasn't about to redress in an alley, and he certainly didn't want to wait until they were at the ship. McCree went in first, Hanzo waiting by the door until the man was done. Each minute that went by made him more anxious to take off his kyudo-gi and hakama, something Hanzo never thought he would experience since he was about to put on more restricting garments in place of his traditional garb. The longer he waited, the closer he was to knocking on the door and demanding what was taking McCree so long when the door opened and said man stepped out. Hanzo looked over his choice, realizing that the armor he wore was probably the reason McCree was taking so long, his eyebrow raising in question at what exactly the man was wearing under it. He didn't bother thinking about it any further, happily tossing both the hat and serape at McCree once he took them off, set his bow and arrows on the ground, then stepped into the dressing room. He ignored the quiet chuckle from the cowboy and chose the clothes he was going to change into, the red shirt he saw earlier and some dark blue shorts that had swirls of rhinestones on the back pockets.

 

Hanzo couldn't help feeling like he wanted to set it all on fire.

 

It took him some time to change, needing to take off his prosthetics for a bit, and just now feeling the dull thrum of pain in his thighs. He ignored the ache, slipping off his obi then the rest along with it before the shorts were slipped over his stumps. Hanzo put on the shirt that thankfully didn't tear because he misjudged the size and his legs were attached once again. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror once the assassin was fully dressed, scowling at the reflection staring back in disgust. He never was one for t-shirts and pants, always opting to wear a kimono or kyudo-gi and hakama over such binding clothes. Hanzo huffed and stepped out of the room, grabbing his weapon and quiver to situate it on his back once again. He glanced over at McCree who seemed to be staring in surprise and raised a brow.

 

“Is something wrong?” This seemed to shake the man out of whatever trance he was in, and the gunslinger shook his head.

 

“Not a thing. Just didn't think I'd ever see ya in normal clothes.” Hanzo's nose wrinkled at that, thinking that something like this was far from _normal_. He considered kimonos normal, not shirts that looked like they were dipped into various vats of paint and pants that looked like they were decorated by a five year old. Then again, McCree came from a place that thought it was normal to always have a cowboy hat on their heads and a massive piece of fabric hanging off their shoulders (or maybe that was just McCree and he was jumping to conclusions, either way he _doesn't_ find that normal). He has to remember that not everywhere has the same definition of normal when it comes to such a thing as clothes.

 

“Can we get going already? We still have to get supplies before heading for the ship, and this purchase has cost us far too much.” The clothes had definitely been cheap, but they apparently cost enough to nearly take all of their remaining cash. With only about eighty dollars left and the new bags in their possession, Hanzo was even more on edge than before. He would now consider it a miracle if they made back to Gibraltar without starving to death in such idiotic outfits.

 

“We can, but since we still gotta make a stop which means yer gonna have ta put the serape on again.” Hanzo felt his eye twitch at the realization that he did in fact have to conceal his bow once more, and McCree's serape was going to be put on his shoulders yet again. He refrained from groaning out loud in annoyance and snatched the cloth, memory of McCree looking melancholy on the train having been forgotten for the time being. The cowboy didn't seem to mind and just watched with amusement as it was angrily tossed over Hanzo's body, taking his time and carefully setting the hat where it had previously been. Hanzo was practically seething by the time he was done.

 

“Now can we leave?” McCree smiled, grabbed the bags, and motioned for the door at the front of the store.

 

“After you, partner.” Hanzo stomped ahead of the man who was grinning like a Cheshire cat and quickly left the store, not caring if McCree was behind him or not.

 

Hanzo made a mental note to put this on the list of worst days of his life.


	5. Plan, Argue, Sneak (Not in That Order)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More walking, more talking, only this time with arguing and a whole lot of sneaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note that I'm fully aware what I wrote isn't an accurate representation of what actually happens at shipyards. Apparently no one actually cares about timing but I decided to go with my scenario because it worked with the story.
> 
> Again, it's the future.
> 
> And this chapter kind of got away from me.

“You mean to tell me you don't know where they are?” Jack raised his voice slightly, not happy with the news he just received from Winston the moment he returned to base. Finding out that two operatives are out there without any way to contact them was not something he was expecting to come back to. Winston shakes his head, looking upset with himself.

 

“Not at the moment. I'm still searching with Athena's help.” Jack sighed and Genji decided it was his turn to ask.

 

“What exactly happened to my brother and Jesse?” Winston grabbed his data pad, pressing a few buttons as he started explaining.

 

“The mission I sent them on was to respond to an alarm at one of the old bases. It should have been shut down and inoperable. Jesse managed to contact me when they arrived saying that someone had restarted the base to hack into old files on alive members.” He then turned on the monitor, pulling up the audio files saved from Jesse's communicator.

 

“This was the last thing transmitted from their location.” Those in the room listened as McCree talked about deleting the files with Hanzo, some looking startled when they heard a gunshot. A few looks were shared and Jack felt himself stiffen when a faint distorted voice was picked up, insulting McCree and sounding amused. A few more words were said and the last thing to come through was static, leaving most on edge as to what happened.

 

“I lost contact with them three days ago and have been trying to find them since. I have yet to find a lead.” Winston couldn't help the defeated tone in his voice and Fareeha was soon adding in her information that she gathered from the audio, details the others already figured out but didn't say anything about out loud.

 

“It sounded like they were ambushed by Reaper, which also means that Talon was there. He must have somehow fried or jammed their communicators.” Hana huffed and popped her gum, trying hard not shout out that it was pretty obvious.

 

“So what are we going to do about it? Just wait and hope you find them?” Fareeha gave the girl a stern glare which only earned a roll of Hana's eyes as Winston spoke again.

 

“Unfortunately, yes. I've been trying to pinpoint their locations via satellite but it's proving rather difficult. Either they're constantly moving or are holed up in a building somewhere. I could try using the security cameras but that would require knowing where they currently are in the United States.” Mei just stared down at the floor, worried for her fellow teammates and hoping nothing bad had happened to them. She had already lost so much once already, she didn't want to go through the feeling of losing those precious to her again.

 

Jack simply refused to believe anything bad happened to them.

 

“Use the cameras. Start from where you sent them and go through all the footage you can. I want them found as soon as possible.” The knowledge that Reaper was the reason Winston lost contact with Hanzo and McCree made Jack's blood boil and nerves become overwhelmed. None of them were sure if the two were in the hands of Talon or if they were safe somewhere and Jack wanted to make sure quickly. He wasn't trying to make it seem like Winston needed to overwork himself just to find them, not since he had Athena to help, but the last thing Jack wanted was to find out Talon brainwashed two more members of his team. The sooner they were located, the better.

 

When everyone was filing out of the room, hoping to do something productive while they waited for Winston and Athena to locate the two, Genji stopped Jack with a hand on his shoulder.

 

“They are fine. Trust me.” Jack raised an eyebrow and stared at the cyborg from behind his visor.

 

“And how can you be so sure?” He knows Genji had been there to see them off but that didn't mean he knew everything that happened during the mission. Genji didn't hesitate to answer.

 

“I know how they both are. Neither would be taken so easily, ambush or not. Winston will find them and they will come back.” The older man didn't find much solace in Genji's words but it did calm his nerves, even if just by a small amount.

 

“I hope you're right. And Jesse has proven to be pretty crafty when the situation demands it.” The ninja nodded and parted with Jack to go and meditate on the situation. He wasn't very worried about the new information since he knew both Hanzo and McCree could take care of themselves. They would be found, they would come back, and it'll be like the whole situation didn't happen.

 

He just wondered if they would come back with a closer relationship than when they left.

\-----

Hanzo in all his years of living never thought he would miss the luxury of always having enough money on his person to buy whatever he wanted for either him or Genji when they would walk along the streets of Hanamura. He could buy ramen, takoyaki, visit the arcade to let Genji burn off some energy, even spend a good amount on the games at the festival stalls and still have enough by the end of it all.

 

But with their current situation, he's lucky they managed to get enough supplies to last a week. They sadly don't have much money left, just a few dollars in coins that would probably only get them a couple pieces of candy, to which Hanzo refused adamantly because the last thing they needed was sugar without a way to clean it off. McCree just sulked when he was refused the purchase of a rather fruity candy bar.

 

They were now on their way to the shipyard (finding out its location after looking at a map that was on a rack at the store), moods lighter after using the single stall restroom back at the convenience store. McCree came out, smiling like he just won some foolish game, to which Hanzo suspected he should have been grateful to go first.

 

And now that they have to carry three bags in total while they sneak onto a cargo ship, Hanzo realizes a key detail that McCree had neglected to mention and explain.

 

How in the hell are they going to know which boat will get them to Gibraltar?

 

Hanzo stops dead in his tracks and McCree almost runs into him because of the sudden stop, looking ready to angrily question the archer as to what he was thinking. His words die on his tongue at the look being sent his way when Hanzo spins on his heel to face McCree.

 

“You never told me which ship we will have to sneak onto.” He had expected a smug smile, the cowboy grinning as he started to explain that he knew exactly which ship they needed to ride. The lack of a grin, smug air, and the guilty stare he got instead was downright alarming to Hanzo, also making him worry at how unnerved he was by McCree's expression. The realization hit him hard like a train (he shouldn't be thinking something like that after the last few days) and made his eyes widen.

 

“You have no idea which ship we need to ride on.” The nervous chuckle told him everything and the man was close to choking the gunslinger with his own serape (which was now with its rightful owner because they were finally able to traverse the back alleys). He did not find anything about their situation amusing.

 

“Was hopin’ ya wouldn't find out 'til we got on the ship… or never was a better option.” Hanzo was already rather close to McCree, but he somehow managed to get even closer so their faces were just mere centimeters apart, height difference in no way a hindrance.

 

“Explain to me why I should not put an arrow through your skull.” McCree felt genuine terror at the threat to his life and felt his back bending to get away from the man in front of him, mind and mouth trying to work together to hurry and explain why he should be allowed to live.

 

“I didn't tell ya because I usually find out at the shipyard. The guys who work their go over the schedules and I usually eavesdrop on their conversations. I promise it works.” Hanzo's eyes narrowed and McCree felt like the gaze alone would kill him right then and there before the assassin could even ready his bow. It felt like minutes before Hanzo finally backed off and folded his arms, ignoring the bag that had swung and hit his leg.

 

“And it did not occur to you to let me in in this plan sooner? To where I didn't have to threaten your life for information?” McCree looked shocked for a moment, but that soon changed to an insulted expression, eyebrows low and lips pursed.

 

“That's 'cause I knew ya were gonna react like this! If ya haven't noticed, ya ain't been happy with all of my plans so far.” Hanzo huffed in defiance like there was no truth to McCree's words. They both knew otherwise.

 

“If  _ you  _ haven't noticed, your plans have resulted in us being without enough coin and wearing abominations that should not even quality as clothing.” McCree scoffed in return and gave the man a glare of his own.

 

“Got us this far didn't it? Or would ya rather be fightin’ Talon and runnin’ for our lives while hopin’ the team saves us?” Both men were now glaring at each other, not wanting to back down and prove that they were in the right. It lasted for about a minute until finally, to both their surprise, Hanzo was the first to relent.

 

“Very well. I admit that our current situation is far more appreciated than the alternatives. That still does not mean you should have kept your plan from me, even knowing my reaction, which I think was mere speculation on your part. There is no way you would have known if I was going to be upset or not.” The cowboy exhaled loudly and started walking again, knowing Hanzo would follow just to hear his response.

 

“Wasn't speculation really, as yer not that hard ta figure out. So far, ya ain't been happy with my ideas. Reasonin’ said that the moment I told ya, all hell woulda broke loose. I was tryin’ ta play it safe by not tellin’ ya. I live longer that way.” Hanzo rolled his eyes, feeling a prick of irritation at being told he was easy to understand and read. He was an assassin after all, he shouldn't be easy to figure out and be manipulated by another without his knowledge. Hanzo couldn't help but think that whatever almighty being or force was out there really loved messing with his life and making him the most miserable person on the planet.

 

This had to be the worst mission he has ever had the misfortune of being assigned to.  _ Especially _ because of the man he was paired with, whose plans and ideas leave his blood boiling and head throbbing. Speaking of…

 

“Are you even sure they are going to go over the schedules? What if we arrive too late and miss the conversation? What if they simply look it over without talking and we end up having to steal it?” McCree groaned and shook his head, wondering why Hanzo couldn't trust him with the idea that he knows what he's doing.

 

“Shipyard workers and even the ship operators are very OCD ‘bout makin’ sure the ships are leavin’ at the right time and goin’ ta the right place. They go over the schedules nearly every hour. I've seen it happen.” He was hoping that was a sufficient enough explanation, and was waiting with baited breath for another question or indication that Hanzo was content with the information. It felt like forever before he heard the man hum and McCree felt the tension in his shoulders evaporate, making them slump a little. He finally,  _ finally  _ managed to calm down Hanzo and cease the bombardment of questions that came with irritation. Now all that was left was the silence.

 

The walk was going to be rather long to the shipyard, alleys after alleys adding to the the minutes they walked. Minutes that will turn into hours. They still had quite a ways to go, their current destination about five miles from where they had bought the supplies. McCree was so close to hailing a cab and threatening the driver to drive them the long trip since they wouldn't have the money to pay for the ride. He was close, but neither was about to risk having the police called because they didn't want to walk. Besides, they spent nearly an entire day sitting in a train car with absolutely nothing to do. They could use the exercise, though he does wonder how long it'll take before Hanzo starts limping again. He had noticed it back in Indiana, the way the archer's steps got heavier and he walked as if his muscles had been pulled tight. He found it strange, wondering why someone like Hanzo would be in so much pain from a few hours of walking. He was an assassin, they were supposed to be physically superior to someone like him, yet McCree had won over Hanzo in a walk of endurance that wasn't even done as a competition. He wondered if something was wrong with the man's legs since the cowboy noticed that Hanzo hadn't taken them off since the mission began, even wearing them when he came out of the shower when everything else had been replaced with the robe. He remembered that Hanzo's legs were the same as his arm and thought that maybe he couldn't take them off, prosthetics permanently fixated to his person unlike McCree's own fake limb. It would make sense if that was the case, Hanzo's legs being something he can't take off, but McCree thinks that isn't the reason. His own prosthetic is indeed attached to his nerves, but the man can still take it off if he needs to for maintenance or giving the rest of his left arm a chance to breathe.

 

McCree's more interested in finding out how the other managed to lose two very important pieces.

 

What a story that would be to hear someday, finding out exactly what happened and who managed to take Hanzo Shimada’s legs.

 

It's also a scenario that's very unlikely to happen, if their conversation back at the motel tells him anything. Hanzo seems rather defensive regarding his prosthetics.

 

But McCree isn't about to pry, knowing the feeling of secrets you want to stay as such, even if people already know what you don't want to tell them. So many had asked the cowboy about his arm, wanting to hear the story but never being told all the details in the end. Very few actually knew how McCree managed to lose an arm, and those who did were his closest friends who were there when it happened, or heard of the situation through another. Others who simply asked out of curiosity were only told that he lost it in a gunfight. He wasn't lying, but the full truth wasn't being told either, and McCree wanted it to stay that way.

 

The same could be said for Hanzo.

 

That same man who he could not say was being uncharacteristically quiet. That was one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb, Hanzo's ability to remain mute unless pushed too far. He saw it happen firsthand when Jack decided an interrogation was in order only a day after Hanzo arrived (which McCree wants to say was out if the ordinary for the man, but it had been immensely obvious that Jack had changed drastically over the years after Overwatch was disbanded). In the conference room no less when the archer was being acquainted with the other members at Winston's insistence.

 

With Genji also present who ended up being the mediator between both men by placing himself between both Hanzo and Jack. Neither were about to hurt the cyborg and that was the only reason a fight didn't ensue.

 

McCree chances a brief look behind him, seeing Hanzo staring up above them and looking as though he would rather be on the rooftops than in an alleyway. He's probably not far off the mark. He knows the man prefers high places to the ground, looking like he could jump off the building and fly if he wanted to. McCree swears it could happen with the few times he's seen Hanzo run across roofs and move to a different building with ease, like the man had wings.

 

They'd probably look like dragon wings, if the gunslinger thought about it.

 

Genji would be more of a small bird.

 

Angela already had wings… so did Fareeha. Lena can basically fly without any (since the last time she used wings, the girl ended up stuck in time, or something like that, he didn't understand most of what Winston said). Satya has her portals. Lucio would rather skate everywhere from what he could tell. Hana… he just can't seem to picture her with anything other than bright pink wings which look weird in his opinion. He'll stick to keeping her in her mech. McCree himself is more of a ground person but if he had to think about it, he'd have to go with a hawk. Bird of prey, fairly large, definitely the flyer he would be modeled after in his opinion.

 

Christ, he must be going insane, comparing himself to a hawk. He should say something if only to stay sane.

 

“Havin’ fun so far?” McCree didn't look back at Hanzo, half expecting not to get an answer after their little spat earlier. The other half was expecting just a grunt or huff as an answer.

 

“Not particularly.” Actual words then. Maybe Hanzo wasn't as sour about their fight as he thought the man might be.

 

“Is it 'cause of all the walkin’? Or the fact we're flat broke? The train ride?” Now he was just teasing the man, already knowing the answer was all of the reasons he had listed.

 

“All of that and more.” Half right then. He didn't blame Hanzo for his irritation since he himself was beginning to feel like this entire mission was a bust. In reality, that was also half true. They had done what was asked of them when given the briefing by Winston, finding out why the abandoned base had sent a distress signal. That was where the problem lie, after getting ambushed by Reaper since they were supposed to return right away. Instead they ended up running away, hitching a ride on a train, and spending all of the emergency money Jack told them to bring. Now they were preparing to ride a ship because both McCree and Hanzo still had a long way to go before they were back at base. This entire situation was less than annoying, it was regrettable. Forget one bottle, McCree felt like drowning himself in about six.

 

“Can't say I disagree with ya. Ain't happy 'bout this any more than ya. Just wish we had some way ta contact one of the others.” He received the grunt McCree was expecting earlier, along with more words.

 

“We have no phones, our communicators were fried thanks to Reaper, and as far as we know, none of the other members were also deployed overseas. We have no way to contact anyone.” McCree pursed his lips, finally turning his head to look at Hanzo with a scowl.

 

“Ya ain't gotta be that negative 'bout it. I was just speakin’ my mind.” The archer's own face fell even more, and he looked at the ground as if he has just been scolded. The thought made McCree stifle a chuckle.

 

“I apologize. I was not thinking.” An apology was the last thing the cowboy was expecting from Hanzo and all he could do was stare in shock until he forced himself to look away, not used to the sincerity suddenly being shown to him by this, as he said before, stone cold man. He wasn't sure how to reply, so all McCree could think to do was simply continue walking, delving back into the silence they had before that was far less strained this time.

 

So they walked in silence through the alleyways, sometimes having to cross the major streets which made the other people walking along the roads stare at them yet again. All they could do was ignore the stares and continue on their way, hours passing before they finally made it to the outskirts of the shipyard. Hanzo's legs were throbbing in pain once again, but he wasn't going to pay them any mind. Not right now. Especially since he was now required to climb over a fence with bags weighing him down. He'd be angrier if Hanzo wasn't already used to climbing while being weighed down.

 

Another part of his training when he was younger.

 

They made sure the coast was clear before Hanzo easily went over the fence surrounding the area, bags and all. McCree, on the other hand, had to take his time, not used to climbing over obstacles. Hanzo waited on the other side, watching in amusement as the gunslinger struggled to get over the fence and join him. The amusement was also paired with impatience since they were still in plain view and could be spotted by someone, making all of their work to get here useless.

 

When McCree was finally over the fence, they made a break for it to the nearest cover between two containers. A moment to catch their breaths before making sure there were no workers or guards to see them. They moved to another space between stacks of containers, Hanzo trying his hardest to keep the bags from making noise. They sadly had received plastic bags from the clothing store, Hanzo cursing himself for not having the foresight to buy more bags that didn't act like a beacon with how loud they were (not that they had the money to begin with). Nothing he could do now though, except hold them close and hope he muffled the sound enough that no one, not even the two of them heard the bags. They weaved through the spaces between containers, having to stop and stay still when a worker or guard walked passed on his way to go do their work or make their rounds. No one was aware of them yet and both hoped to keep it that way.

 

They managed to reach the ships without getting seen and sneaked their way around until they could find two workers going over the ship schedules. So far, nothing had come up yet, no workers talking amongst themselves to eavesdrop on. McCree could feel the sharp glare from Hanzo on his back and hoped that they would find some workers soon. They didn't come this far just to get stuck and have Hanzo become so frustrated he ends up actually killing McCree. So they continued sneaking around, the cowboy feeling like he should start praying that they find something soon. He slowly looked back at the assassin, wanting to flinch away from the harsh stare being pointed at him, and could only smile wearily. He wanted to reassure the man that it was going to happen sooner or later, they just had to be patient, but the last thing he wanted to do was give away their position among the massive containers. He could only shrug and mouth 'I swear it will happen’, which made Hanzo's scowl more prominent.

 

McCree was soon proved correct after about fifteen minutes when they started their third attempt to find workers conversing, and noticed two standing next to a rather large ship still being loaded with cargo. The man almost sighed in relief, no longer feeling the harsh glare from Hanzo on his back. They got close enough to overhear what was being said but still staying out of sight thanks to the containers. The workers, a man and a woman, seemed to be arguing.

 

“I told you already, this ship over here is heading for Greenland. The one that just came in will leave in a few days and go to the Antarctic. Why do you keep forgetting this?” The male worker only shrugged.

 

“I've only been here for three days. Besides, it's not like you have the ships numbered, and some of them have had their names peeled off entirely. Some of them are even the same color!” The obviously more experienced worker sighed and tapped the schedule impatiently.

 

“That's why we have the schedules. If you look, each boat has the captain's name next to it. Figure it out by that if the name is missing. Now then, we're going to do this once more.” The man groaned but listened anyway as the woman started listing off the different destinations for each ship. Hanzo and McCree listened intently, anxiety rising just a bit each time a ship was named off that wasn't going to Spain. Hanzo was ready to just go out there and threaten them for the information when they finally heard what they had been waiting for.

 

“-and the ship operated by captain Jerry that will show up in five minutes will head for Spain an hour after docking. He's very particular about leaving in  _ exactly _ one hour so make sure that happens. Last time he didn't leave on time, he chewed out a newbie who was moving crates. Poor kid quit only a day later.” The conversation came to an end and McCree looked at Hanzo with a smug face that said everything he wanted to.

 

_ Told ya so. _

 

Hanzo only glared in retaliation and held up a hand to indicate they still had to wait five minutes and mouthing 'an hour after that'. McCree shrugged, also put off by the fact they would have to wait quite some time before they'd be on their way back to Gibraltar, but he wasn't about to express his own displeasure. This was, after all, his idea so he didn't really have any say in how upsetting the new information was. All they could do now was wait and try to figure out which containers would be loaded onto the ship they needed to ride on. He was just grateful that there wasn't any other ships docking in five minutes along with their ride according to the ship schedule, otherwise they'd have to guess which ship was their way home.

 

And just like the schedule said, a massive cargo ship began to dock once five minutes had passed, and an old man with a limp in his walk started descending the plank that had been placed onto the side if the ship. There was a different worker there to meet him and McCree now understood why the new worker quit. This man was definitely less than friendly. Rude didn't even cover it. They waited, watching as the worker listed off the cargo that would be put on the ship to the captain that didn't seem the least bit interested, and managed to to see the male worker point to a cluster of containers that would go on the ship. Captain Jerry just huffed and waved the man off, grumbling sarcastically about how it was so great the guy could read before walking away with the worker following soon after. McCree turned to Hanzo who, when he noticed the look, became confused.

 

“Guess we found someone grumpier than yerself, huh?” The glare he received nearly made McCree bust out laughing but he remained quiet and started moving towards the containers that would be put on the ship. No one was around to see them thankfully, but that wasn't what worried the cowboy. To get inside the containers, he was going to need to twist the handle and pull open the door, a task that would most likely give away their position with how loud the doors were on the massive metal boxes. When they were at the cluster that was going to be loaded onto their ride, he motioned for Hanzo to make sure their surroundings were clear. The archer nodded, carefully setting down the bags and skillfully climbing the containers. He looked around, taking note of all the workers he could see and how far away they were, nodding to McCree that it was safe to try and open the door. The man nodded back and slowly twisted the handle, flinching and stopping whenever the noise became too loud. He would occasionally look at Hanzo to make sure it was still clear to continue, getting the okay each time until the container was finally open. The assassin jumped down from his perch, landing with a quiet thud next to McCree and grabbed the bags before slipping into the container, the gunslinger following close behind. As quickly as he could, McCree closed the door and locked it back, thankful to whoever designed the containers to have handles on both sides of the doors. They were now shrouded in complete darkness, McCree immediately going for the tiny click-on flashlight they bought at the store. It was rather bright for such a small thing, something both men were grateful for since they didn't want to have to use McCree's lighter again. When the light flooded the inside, they both saw wooden crates stacked in the back and shared a look.

 

“Ready ta move some crates?” Hanzo nodded and put down the bags yet again, McCree putting his serape with them as they walked closer to the boxes. McCree held the light in his mouth as they got to work, moving the crates to where they could hide if someone wanted to make sure everything was still there and no one was stowing away inside. When they were done, both sat in their new space, now prepared to wait until an hour passed. McCree shined the flashlight anywhere he could, trying to figure out just how much of a chance they had of being crushed by the boxes in case of a storm. None of the cargo was tied down, something that would have made moving the crates much more difficult, and they were also set in stacks of two. McCree was afraid there was a very high chance of an avalanche of boxes falling onto them (since neither were sure what the crates even contained because they didn't have anything to pry open the tops, and the ones they moved had been fairly heavy) and it was confirmed when he noticed the design of the crates. They were made so that the corners interlocked with the box under it, making it harder for the top crate to slide off at the tiniest tilt. It was good for a smooth ride with very few waves, but a storm would end up making both boxes fall and double the weight that would no doubt crush them. McCree sighed, trying to expel the new bundle of nerves in his stomach along with the air, and gave Hanzo a glance.

 

“Ya think we're gonna run inta any storms?” Hanzo, who also had been staring at the crates as if he was going through the same thought process as McCree, gave him a quick glance that made the cowboy's nerves flare in nervousness again.

 

“If we are lucky, we won't have to worry about storms.” McCree felt himself deflate a little at that, his hope that it will be smooth sailing plummeting in his chest.

 

_ If we're lucky he says. _

 

“What 'bout if we ain't lucky?” He already knew the answer and wondered why he was even asking. Hanzo's own look that he gave him basically asked the same thing since both knew what would happen if they ran into a bad storm.

 

“Then I hope you can move quick enough to not be squashed.” The tiny amount of light that was on the archer's face made him look a little evil in his opinion, and McCree was starting to wish containers had their own light source so he wouldn't have to use a ninety cent flashlight. As he had said on the train (which he still has to wonder exactly why he let that little piece of information be known even though he wanted to explain why his lighter was out and lit), dark, cramped spaces were not on his list of fun things to experience. Not on either's list, after what he heard from Hanzo who McCree suspected didn't actually want to reveal his own displeasure of small, dark places (which is exactly why the cowboy pretended to not hear him and continued to look ahead of him). He isn't surprised really, considering the man's background and their moment at the motel. Which brings up a question he hadn't thought to ask.

 

How will they manage to sleep, if they decide to at all? He wonders if they'll have to do the same situation at the motel, one keeping watch over the other to make sure no crates end up killing them in their sleep. McCree knows he can be a rather heavy sleeper on good nights that plague him with just quick flashes of memories he longs to forget, so Hanzo would end up having a field day if he wanted to try and wake up the gunslinger. If he even tried at all that is, which McCree thinks he would but moving him out of the way of a falling box is another story that probably won't end well. Still, he isn't sure. Hanzo never outwardly expressed any real desire for McCree's death, but the man isn't exactly an open book. And yet again, the cowboy can't help but think of how alike they are in that regard. He used to pretend to be an open book and wear his emotions on his sleeve, but what he conveyed wasn't what he actually felt. Hell, that still isn't the case but now his friends can tell what he's truly thinking. Hanzo is just like he was back then, only more closed off and distant while McCree used to make it seem like nothing bothered him. The one thing Hanzo is apparently lacking any skill in since everything seems to bother him.

 

McCree groans as a headache starts to form from all the thinking he's suddenly doing. The small pain makes him want to laugh. Reyes always used to say that McCree was mostly driven on instinct instead of using his brain so he isn't surprised at the result he gets when he actually does try to think things through, but those were years where he took every insult with a smile and sent it back in equal measure. Where his first thought in a fight was to draw his gun and shoot whoever pissed him off no matter how big or skilled his opponent was. Where the man who was like a second father to him wasn't constantly trying to put a bullet through his head and kill everyone he ever knew and cared about, including his boss' own lover. McCree truly felt bad for Jack after hearing about what happened, but thought against trying to console the man who clearly didn't want to be coddled. He also didn't want someone trying to whisper words of comfort and empty promises that things would get better, so he wouldn't do that to someone who was in worse pain than himself.

 

Then McCree spares a glance to his companion, and a thought strikes him when he remembers seeing the commander again, aged and scarred after years of fighting in the shadows.

 

Hanzo also doesn't want to be coddled and told promises that he knows won't be fulfilled. Promises that pertain to a certain cyborg that McCree himself knows have already been carried out.

 

Hanzo just doesn't want to accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't that always the problem with Hanzo? Poor guy could lighten up and use a hug (not my version though because he's not a toucher).
> 
> And in case it wasn't obvious, I'm using Fullmetal Alchemist logic when the prosthetics are mentioned.


	6. Sway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo thinks that out of everything, a ship is the worst way to travel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for unneeded awkward situations?

Genji was pacing around his room, for once unable to try and meditate on the situation currently causing the base to be in an uproar despite what he told Jack. He didn't expect to hear what Winston had told them when called to the conference room, especially not those few days ago when he was there for his brother's and McCree's departure. He thought everything was going to go smoothly, was even thinking about what might happen between his friend and sibling while they were together. He imagined the scenarios, the first one welcoming them back and finding out that the two had become close during the mission. The second was Hanzo being more irate than ever while McCree limped off the carrier with an arrow in his leg. The third was them coming back the same as they left. He would have taken any of the three scenarios over what he was told just hours ago, wondering where they were after being attacked by Reaper. Genji knew something was wrong when the two day mark had passed, and now his suspicions were confirmed with more questions swimming in his head. Where are they, are they alright, have they been taken prisoner, will he lose his brother again along with his best friend. Thoughts he tried to meditate on but all he could see were unpleasant outcomes that didn't calm his overworking mind. He nearly wished Zenyatta was there to help but Genji wasn't about to disturb the omnic monk with his meager problems. Winston was going to find them anyway so there was no point in calling his master for help with meditation.

 

How he just wished the scientist would hurry with the news on where Hanzo and McCree had gone.

 

Genji was now thinking about training to take his mind off of the terrible possibilities he had imagined when the built-in communicator in his mask crackled and Athena called for him.

 

“We have a solid lead on where agent McCree and agent Hanzo are currently heading. All agents currently in the base are to report to the conference room.” Genji was already walking down the hall before Athena could finish speaking and had to keep himself from running all the way to the room. The desire to know what they found was great but the last thing he wanted was to practically run head first into horrible news.

 

He hoped that wasn't the case.

 

When Genji reached the room they were to meet in, he walked inside and straight to an empty seat not already occupied. Those that were present waited until the last of the members in the base arrived and Winston cleared his throat.

 

“As you have been told, Athena and I have found a good lead on Hanzo and Jesse's location. If you'll look here…” A screen came up and Genji could figure out immediately that it was some sort of hotel since all it really showed was the parking lot and some of the rooms.

 

“We started looking in every city close to their mission sight, hacking into every nearby security camera, when we stumbled upon this.” The video then began to play, Genji watching as two grainy but familiar silhouettes walked from one corner of the screen all the way to the other and disappeared. Genji felt himself relax as he now had proof that both were alive and well.

 

Including the information that they stayed in a hotel together, something he's sure irritated Hanzo greatly.

 

“They got a room, stayed there the entire night, then left between eight and nine. It took a bit more digging to figure out exactly where they went since there are no cameras watching the streets, but thankfully, Athena found this.” The next video was worse in quality but everyone could tell it was Hanzo inside a convenience store buying different items. The videos continued to play, each showing a different place but the same two people they were currently trying to find. Once they had gotten to the video showing the two agents carefully walking through a crowd to exit the station, Jack decided to start talking.

 

“So they hitched a ride on a train from Indiana to New Jersey? What exactly do they think they'll find there?” The question wasn't answered immediately as everyone watched in brief horror when a security guard walked towards the pair only to pass by and stop someone else, to which Winston gave a knowing glance to those watching before he answered.

 

“This next footage should clear that up. After they left the station, both bought more supplies at a couple of stores and proceeded to head here.” Another video popped up on the screen and Fareeha was the first to comment.

 

“Is that a shipyard?” Winston nodded and they watched as small figures climbed the fence, everyone aware of which figure was who just from seeing that one piece of footage. The good thing about shipyards were the various cameras placed everywhere, so everyone was able to see their teammates hide among the containers for some time before deciding to slip into one of the massive metal boxes. Hana just stared with a confused expression.

 

“What are they doing at a shipyard? Why did they choose that specific container after all that sneaking around?” Fareeha shook her head while Winston explained.

 

“They were most likely trying to find out which ship would bring them here to Gibraltar since they're overseas. An airplane would be too risky with all the security, and that container is going to be put on the ship they plan to ride.” Hana smiled and popped her gum.

 

“Deduce that from the video?” Winston just shrugged and spoke with a straight face.

 

“You could say that.” The video was then skipped to an hour after they slipped inside the container and the members watched as it was lifted and placed on the ship, to which Hana bit her lip and looked away. Genji just smiled behind his mask, no longer upset or worried about the unknowns pertaining to Hanzo and McCree. Mei was looking at her friends then back at Winston with a pleading look.

 

“We're going to go get them right?” He nodded and was now pointing at the ship.

 

“The route they're taking will last at least a week, two depending on weather patterns. We can send a carrier and a small team to go retrieve the two agents before that ship runs into any storms.” They talked amongst themselves, deciding that the team would consist of Genji, Jack, and Fareeha. Hana and Mei would remain at base with Winston since other members were still out on missions and due to be back soon. The three agreed and hurried to prepare for the trip, Winston providing them with information before they left. He gave them a data pad that had pictures of both the ship and the container Hanzo and McCree had stowed away in, along with the map of the Atlantic ocean with the route the ship should be taking. All three thanked Winston before boarding the carrier and heading towards the ship. Genji knew that it would be an hour before they would manage to find it, which meant that McCree and Hanzo would have to deal with the rocking of the ship for quite some time.

 

He was sure that both would be okay when they found them.

\-----

Hanzo now officially hates all modes of transportation other than cars. Planes are far too risky since they're nothing but giant pieces of bolted metal, flying thousands of feet above the ground that could plummet to his death at any moment with one wrong gust of wind. Trains are far too loud and bumpy, going far too fast for the turns and curves. He doesn't think he can count the heat since that wasn't a car meant for people, but he still doesn't care. And boats, as he has found out, are even worse than trains when it comes to how easily he's able to be thrown into the side of the container or crates. The answer: very easily. The rocking of the boat is near nauseating. He probably couldn't even stand and walk if he wanted to and would most likely end up falling over the minute he reaches his full height. Cars are by far his preferred method of transportation since he can control where he goes by himself and isn't thrown into the doors when it takes a turn (unless he's going rather fast but that only happened once when he had an assassin after him). He never was willing to let someone else drive him, always opting to use recently abandoned cars that he could easily fix or rentals that wouldn't cost too much for the person who briefly owned the car if it ended up  with scratches (he was just nice like that) compared to riding in a taxi or bus.

 

But Hanzo now knew that boats were his _least_ preferred mode of transportation.

 

Especially because he keeps getting thrown onto McCree and vice versa, almost getting hit in the face with a metal elbow as the man beside him lost his grip on the crate. The ominous creaking that echoes in the container was also adding to his anger and frustration of being on the ship. Never again was he going to do something like this, and he wanted to make that known to the man whose arm just jabbed into his side.

 

“This is by far the worst idea you have ever come up with. I am never doing this ever again.” McCree sounded like he was going to laugh but it quickly became a strained grunt went he tried to keep himself from smacking into Hanzo again.

 

“I'll admit, probably shoulda warned ya 'bout the amount of swayin’ that happens on a ship. I myself just forgot how bad it can get.” Hanzo scoffed and shot his hand out to grab the crate behind him when he was in danger of being flung onto McCree when the ship hit another wave.

 

“How do you forget something like this? I am close to leaving this container and threatening the captain to stop this boat immediately so we don't fall off the side.” The cowboy did manage to chuckle at that, but it sounded nervous and wary.

 

“Don't joke 'bout somethin’ like that. It might actually happen at this rate. Hell, might join ya and give that old man a piece of my own mind. But we can't let our cover be blown 'til we dock, otherwise we really might be thrown over the side.” Hanzo had to agree with that, sure that if the captain did in fact find out about their presence on his ship, he'd have them tossed into the sea. Of course, that all depended on if he had a crew capable of such a feat, which it didn't appear so, and captain Jerry himself looked far too feeble to do any real damage to Hanzo or McCree. The archer wasn't underestimating the man in any way, but he could when it was a skilled fighter standing before him. The captain was far from it.

 

“I swear ta god, if I hit my head one more time on this damn box, I'm gonna shoot it.” Hanzo looked at McCree, realizing that must have been the loud thud he heard just seconds ago, and all the other times before that. He wanted to laugh, but another wave had him focusing to not do the same as his teammate. He was starting to share the same sentiment as McCree concerning the crates.

 

“Never again will I set foot on a ship. This is absurd.” His last couple of words were strained as Hanzo fought hard against gravity to not knock his head against the container. McCree just raised a brow at him.

 

“As long as ya live?” Hanzo gave a grunt of confirmation to which the gunslinger just chuckled at.

 

“Ya never know, might end up havin’ no other option but ta ride a boat.” The archer could only scowl more and look at his companion who looked like he was trying not to crush the small light between his fingers.

 

“If I ever get on a ship again, it will be against my will. How anyone would want to deal with this insanity on a daily basis is beyond me.” McCree went to retort, say something about how it could still happen considering the price on Hanzo's head, but the lapse in concentration on his part caused him to lose his grip when the boat was pushed by a rather large wave. McCree yelped, losing his grip on the small flashlight and crashing right onto Hanzo who wasn't prepared for the full weight of the other man. Both ended up falling into a heap on the floor of the container, McCree practically laying on top of the other man who was stiff as a board. The cowboy groaned as he went to get up, shoulder knocking against the crate as the boat still rocked. The light was now rolling on the floor, every now and then shining towards them and in turn letting McCree realize just what had happened. He looked down, eyes wide with shock and fear.

 

McCree fell over onto his teammate.

 

McCree is now on top of his teammate.

 

Hanzo is the teammate.

 

_McCree is on top of Hanzo._

 

The thought alone is enough to force the gunslinger to push away from the other man, which in turn makes him bash his head yet again against the crate. His hat falls off and McCree can now only focus on the sharp pain in his head, holding it with his hands and letting out a litany of curses under his breath. His attention is away from Hanzo who still has not moved since he was accidentally pushed down, eyes wide and head throbbing dully in pain from where it hit the container floor. He wasn't really sure how to react from the sudden contact, half of him wanting to yell at McCree for what happened, the other too shocked to do anything other than lie on the floor. Hanzo's brain worked to come up with something to say about the situation they were both just put into, not sure if he should reprimand McCree or say nothing and act like it didn't matter. He hadn't come up with anything by the time the cowboy had recovered and he chose to answer for Hanzo.

 

“Sorry 'bout that. Didn't pay attention and lost my grip. Are ya hurt?” The assassin just shook his head and slowly sat up, making sure he didn't end up doing the same thing as McCree and braining himself on one of the boxes.

 

“I am fine.” Other than the tiny headache and fast beating of his heart, but other than that it isn't a lie. He was more surprised by the contact than anything else. It's been so long since Hanzo has felt a touch that wasn't from someone trying to take his life, not counting the time Genji touched his shoulder after revealing who he was, because that fleeting moment had been so frighteningly _cold_ , so he's still trying to catch up with what exactly took place. His companion had been so shockingly warm, which Hanzo thinks has nothing to do with the lack of air circulation. It was a comforting warmth more than anything, not a sweltering unbearable heat that would make him run for the nearest source of cold. But that's what scares Hanzo, how warm the touch had been and how comforting it felt even if the moment had been an accident caused by outside forces.

 

Hanzo thinks he shouldn't be this shaken about an accidental touch but his mind is still reeling and he can't seem to focus correctly.

 

McCree doesn't seem to notice since his attention is now on grabbing his hat and the still rolling light that he manages to catch just before the thing rolls in between the crates and out of reach. When he looks back at Hanzo, the man is already composed and looking like the accident didn't affect him at all. It thankfully fools McCree who doesn't ask any more questions about their sudden contact and goes back to his previous position against the crates. He shines the light over the bags that were set against the other stacks of boxes and is suddenly aware of his hunger.

 

“Feel like eatin’ somethin’? Might take our mind off all the rockin’.” Hanzo stares at the bags for quite some time before giving a small shrug. His shoulders feel stiffer than usual but if McCree notices, he doesn't comment.

 

“Very well. Though I highly doubt food will somehow distract us from how much the ship is moving.” McCree gives his own shrug and carefully moves towards the bags to pull them closer.

 

“It might.” When he has a good grip on the bigger of the two supply bags, McCree pulls it closer to their spot behind the crates and sets it between him and Hanzo. He digs through the numerous snacks they bought with the little money they had left, trying to find something substantial that won't require he save what's left and have it spoil. Not that he ever had any problems with finishing his food, even as a child, but their current situation demanded they eat just enough to drag out the ride and not starve. Hanzo is also looking for something, keeping his hands in his lap for now until he sees something worth eating. It's mainly American snacks that he's never heard of and never tried, so Hanzo's wary to eat whatever it was he bought with McCree's help. Most of what they bought doesn't look very appealing or substantial and he even went through the trouble of reading the ingredients of some of the food. He didn't like what he read. Most contained excess amounts of ingredients that shouldn't be consumed in such a great quantity. It almost makes him want to refuse eating for the entire trip, but Hanzo knows that's something he can't do. Much like the rest of this mission had been going, he can't be picky and let his pride win over right now. Hanzo will just have to make sure he works extra hard to keep up his training and eats enough non-sugary meals to balance out the monstrous amount he's about to partake in.

 

It takes some time before he finds something, and Hanzo decides on a bag of chips that, from what he can feel, is more air than food. His suspicions are correct when he opens it (which he manages to do after looking the bag over a bit) and only half of the bag is full of chips. Hanzo isn't sure whether he should be grateful or annoyed, knowing that while he won't be putting too much of the horrendous ingredients in his body, the amount of actual food inside is just insulting in a way. He spares a glance at McCree who seems to have found himself a bag of cookies and is practically eating two at a time. Hanzo looks back at his own meal choice, taking out one chip and chewing on it carefully, grimacing the moment it touches his tongue. Much too salty but he can't complain right now.

 

They eat in silence, having to stop when the boat tilts just a little too much, and it's not long before their choices of food has been eaten. The empty wrapper and bag is now being crumpled and placed back with the other snacks, both making the note in their heads that the bag will now contain food and trash. The next thing they go for is the water, doing the same thing they did on the train and conserving by drinking from the same bottle. They divulge into silence once the brief time taken to eat is finished and neither are sure what to do now. Hanzo is content to just stare ahead of him, not caring if there's any light in front of him or not (since McCree likes to shine the light everywhere in the container, but Hanzo knows he's doing that to be safe) while McCree wants to say something but can't think of any conversation starter. This is starting to turn out just like the beginning of the mission, which he hopes doesn't mean they'll get ambushed soon. They'll have nowhere to go other than into the sea, and he's sure that's a scenario neither want to experience. But he doubts anyone trying to harm the two men actually know where they currently are, and if they did, he doesn't think they would be insane enough to attack them on a ship. The only people McCree does want to know where they are would be the other agents at the base or someone who could come help take them back to Gibraltar right away. McCree can't help but wonder what the other agents are currently doing while he and Hanzo sit together in silence on a ship. At least he found a conversation starter.

 

“Think the others are worried 'bout us?” It's actually not so much a conversation starter as it is McCree just wanting to pass the time by saying his thoughts out loud. He just thought that maybe Hanzo wanted to join in and if not, then there's really nothing he can do. But he's a bit surprised when the question does get an answer from the archer.

 

“We have been MIA for close to three days, going on four without contact with any other agent. If they were not concerned before, I'm sure they are now. What they are doing to remedy the situation, I could not tell you.” McCree nodded his head before laying it back against the box behind him, really wishing he could light a cigar if only for a few moments.

 

“Winston's probably goin’ nuts by now, no pun intended. Shoulda seen him when Lena got caught up in all that time mess. I thought the poor guy was never gonna come outta that lab. Sure, we ain't floating through time or whatever like ghosts, but he don't like ta lose people.” It was Hanzo's turn to nod, still staring ahead and feeling the way the ship moves. He didn't really blame the scientist, knowing the feeling of losing those you care about (even if it was by your own hand because Hanzo really did care about his brother, still does even though he's no longer the same boy he once knew) and wanting to make sure those you end up surrounding yourself with stay safe. He lost his mother and wanted to keep Genji safe from assassins. He lost his father and wanted to keep Genji safe from the elders. He lost his brother and ended up having to keep himself safe from assassins and the elders. Hanzo thinks he knows quite a bit about loss.

 

He also can't help but wonder how Genji is taking their disappearance, if he even knows about it.

 

“What ya gonna do when we get back?” Hanzo thinks for a moment on the question, looking down at his clothes rather than the crates, and his nose wrinkles.

 

“Wash my clothes and take a bath. I refuse to use what we procured longer than necessary.” McCree chuckles next to him and Hanzo wants to narrow his eyes at the man. It's not likely he'll notice though.

 

“Sounds like a plan, actually. Think I'll do that myself.” Hanzo just scoffs.

 

“As you should. There was no shampoo at the motel and no appliances to clean our clothes. Us, as well as our outfits, are filthy.” McCree looks over at Hanzo with a raised brow and small smile.

 

“Yer really inta hygiene ain't ya Hanzo?” Said man looks at him in shock as if the question McCree just asked had the answer sitting right in front of him.

 

“It is disgusting to not clean yourself at least once a day. We both have gone far too long without a proper bath, something I consider repulsive. You would do well to consider the same.” McCree just shrugs, not really wanting to argue about something his teammate seems rather serious and hostile about. But that doesn't mean he'll ignore it completely.

 

“Not everyone thinks like ya do, partner. Not ta mention I didn't always have a water source available ta me so I haven't exactly got a need ta bathe that often.” That seems to have made Hanzo go quiet as he turns away to look down at his lap. He doesn't say anything in defense of his claim, but McCree doesn't think he went too far, even if complete silence wasn't his intention. Hanzo also doesn't seem too keen to keep silent like he usually does as well, or maybe that's McCree's wishful thinking, since the man speaks again.

 

“I apologize. It seems I have not rid myself of old habits.” That earns a look of confusion from McCree.

 

“Habit? Since when was bathin’ a habit?” Hanzo shakes his head.

 

“That is not what I meant. I was referring to being ignorant of the rest of the world. I should know better than to think others have experienced the luxuries I once did. Therefore, I apologize.” McCree nods, finally understanding what the man meant, and plays with a string coming undone on one of his pant legs. Now he really is starting to feel like the bad guy of this conversation.

 

“Ain't yer fault I bet.” It would probably be a bet he'd win too, if the stories he heard from Genji are anything to go by. The cyborg told him how reckless he was as a child, how opposite he had been compared to Hanzo who was apparently brought up as the pristine, model son. Genji went out to see what others had to offer and managed to leave Hanamura, even the entirety of Japan while his brother probably never went anywhere that required he travel overseas like he is now. McCree doubts Hanzo is even aware of some people's situations, how they barely have enough to get by on, let alone running water to bathe in. It surprises him how ignorant Hanzo can actually be when it comes to problems other people have that he's never had to deal with. Or maybe it shouldn't surprise him, yet it still does.

 

He's pulled from his thoughts when McCree has to grab the crates yet again when the ship tilts just a little too far, cursing at the harsh edges of the wood digging into his skin.

 

“What in the hell does that old man think he's doin’?! Is he tryin’ ta tip the damn boat over?!” He was finally reaching the end of his patience with the captain (who he hasn't even formally met, not that he really wants to after seeing how he treats others and his apparent lack of driving skills), and was so close to marching out of the container and right into the captain's face. Hanzo grunts next to him, arms straining to keep him upright and trying not to give himself another headache. The one he received earlier had finally managed to calm down.

 

“I admit, he does appear to lack the skills required to make this a calmer ride. He should probably think of retirement soon.” McCree laughed at that, turning to Hanzo and temporarily forgetting the uncomfortable feeling of splinters in his arms.

 

“Ain't that the truth. Ya saw how he was walkin’. I think captain Jerry lost his sea legs a long time ago.” The assassin didn't join in on the laughing and instead frowned.

 

“What do you mean by 'sea legs’?” the gunslinger wasn't able to keep smiling as he tried to explain.

 

“Well… uh… I could be usin’ it wrong but I think it has somethin’ ta do with bein’ used ta ridin’ on ships? I was mainly referrin’ ta the man's limp. Just forget I said anythin’.” McCree hadn't been thinking when he spoke, not remembering that he wasn't well versed in terms regarding anything other than the wild west. Those he knew like the back of his hand but as he demonstrated just a few seconds ago, any other terms he has only briefly heard of and never got a full explanation on (or maybe he just didn't listen at the time) are basically lost to him, much like Hanzo. Now that he thinks about it, that's also probably the reason the man looks lost and never laughs when McCree makes a joke or idiom he finds particularly amusing. He might have to remedy that at some point by explaining to the most likely terribly confused archer. What he didn't count in was Hanzo to continue the conversation.

 

“Would that mean that we do not have sea legs as well?” McCree could only shrug.

 

“Well shit partner, I don't know. Like I said, I ain't sure if I'm usin’ that term right.” The conversation finally ends with a hum from the other man and McCree finds himself grateful. He could only handle making a fool of himself for so long.

 

Time continues to go by slowly, neither taking much initiative to do something that'll occupy them both. McCree sometimes tries to entertain himself by making shadows on the container walls and crates using the flashlight, but that doesn't last very long. He's a little upset he never thought to bring his deck of cards. At least then he could do a one man game or include Hanzo and challenge the man in poker or go fish.

 

And then there's a loud bang. Both men jump at the sound and grab their weapons, wondering if something hit the containers or the ship itself. Both are looking towards the door and waiting with baited breath for something to happen.

 

“Think that old man ran inta somethin’?” Hanzo doesn't reply, not that McCree really expected him to, and he sighs, trying to calm his nerves that have spiked after he was caught off guard with the bang. Nothing happens for the longest time, ship still swaying, and McCree is about to resume sitting against the crate and try to relax when Hanzo takes his turn to talk.

 

“Do you hear that?” McCree strains his ears to hear what it is Hanzo asked him about, and he thinks he might hear buzzing just under the sound of crashing waves.

 

“What in tarnation is that?” He looks to Hanzo, hoping the man might have answers but it doesn't appear as such. The archer himself is contemplating opening the container doors and going out onto the ship to check, but the unknowns of whether or not the boat simply rammed into something or an actual enemy has boarded the ship make him stay put.

 

They finally hear something close to shouting along with what they can only interpret as metal steps and both aim straight at the doors, waiting for someone to open them and attack. The doors don't open and they instead hear a voice.

 

“Jesse! Hanzo! You are in there, correct?” Both men look at each other in confusion until McCree decides to answer, much to the dismay of Hanzo (because what if it's an enemy trying to trick them, think you foolish cowboy).

 

“That ya out there Genji?!” There's confirmation on the other side of the container and both watch as the lever on the doors twists, Hanzo never lowering his guard or bow (and McCree still holding Peacekeeper in his hand just in case it actually isn't his good friend out there). When the container has fully opened, they see it is in fact Genji standing in front of them and their weapons are lowered and put back where they were on their bodies. McCree is the first to get up and approach the cyborg, smiling in relief and trying not to look too overjoyed.

 

“Ain't ya just what the doctor ordered. Ya have no idea how damn happy I am ta see ya right now.” Genji tilts his head to the side as his hands go to his hips, smile hidden behind his mask.

 

“I may have an idea. I do not assume you are grateful because I am the more outgoing Shimada, correct?” He looks past McCree at his brother who just scoffs and looks away in annoyance, something that causes both men at the front of the container to chuckle and make his face scowl even more. McCree shakes his head, temporarily losing any desire to try and tease Hanzo along with Genji.

 

“It ain't that, but I do wanna know why and how ya got here. Did any of the others come with ya?” The cyborg nods and points over his shoulder with a thumb.

 

“They are waiting in a carrier hovering just above the ship. We came here as soon as we could after Winston spent days looking for you both. You had us worried.” McCree shrugs and looks back at Hanzo who has decided that one of the walls is much better company compared to the teasing team members.

 

“Sorry 'bout that Genji. We didn't have a way of contactin’ everyone and wanted ta get back as soon as we could. But hey, now that yer here, we can get on that carrier and fly back ta the base. It'll definitely be quicker than this boat.” Genji nods and motions for them to follow, heading for the exit while McCree goes to gather the bags while Hanzo watches in confusion.

 

“Little help might be nice partner. Half of this stuff is yers after all.” The assassin scrunches his nose at the bag full of clothes being offered.

 

“Why would we bother to bring them back with us? They were meant for the trip, and I for one see no purpose for them other than firewood.” The gunslinger rolls his eyes and holds the bag out even further.

 

“Then use them for that if ya want, but we spent a lot of money on this stuff and I ain't leavin’ it here.” Hanzo contemplates the man's words, figuring there's truth to them and taking the offered bag before following his brother out of the confined space, McCree on his heels. The harsh sunlight is much brighter compared to the little flashlight they had to use while in the container, and both men blink to clear their vision of the white that just welcomed them. When they can focus again, both are relieved to see that there is indeed a carrier waiting, Jack standing just a few feet away and trying to talk with captain Jerry who seems less than thrilled to have the aircraft hovering above his ship with people interrupting his voyage. McCree laughs to himself as they walk towards the carrier and begin to board, Genji and Jack following soon after and leaving behind a very angry old man. The cowboy sighs once he's seated and practically melts in his seat as Hanzo watches with indifference.

 

“I'll admit partner, I'd like ta never do anythin’ like this ever again.”

 

Hanzo doesn't say anything, but McCree does catch the single nod sent his way, and smiles a little to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only been on a ship twice in my life (both times cruise ships), and I also prefer land compared to a swaying room.


	7. Breather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the day is used to clean, talk, and train. McCree ends up better then slightly worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason for that chapter summary, I swear. Mainly I couldn't think up anything better to say but the main reason will be told at the end.

Hanzo does just as he said he would, heading straight for his room the moment they land to shower and wash his clothes. McCree would be doing the same, but Jack had pulled him towards Winston's lab in order for him to give a report on what all happened so they make sure there isn't a repeat in the future. McCree isn't too thrilled to be doing work the moment he gets back when all he wants to do is relax and relieve himself of the tension currently trapped in his body, but Jack isn't the kind of man to stall something like this for a few minutes to let the younger man get comfortable (especially since Reaper is involved because McCree knows all too well the bad blood between those two). So he's dragged off the carrier, down hallways, and into Winston's lab where the scientist is currently looking over a table with some very dangerous looking tools that McCree knows nothing about. He does know that one of them is sparking rather viciously and the last time he checked, metal and electricity don't mix. He didn't check on purpose either, just managed to touch an exposed live wire during a scuffle with a Talon agent and couldn't move his arm for the rest of the day until Angela got ahold of it. McCree couldn't move much of anything in fact, and was only alive because Fareeha had shown up just seconds later to take the agent out.

 

He now makes sure to check if anything has exposed wires.

 

“We got them back Winston. I brought Jesse, Hanzo went to his room.” Winston looks up (thankfully turning off the tools, to McCree's delight) and smiles widely at the news.

 

“Wonderful! Glad to see all those hours of sifting through security footage paid off.” McCree was going to say something about how good it felt to he back at the base, but the little bit of info he just received is more intriguing.

 

“Security footage?” Winston nods, looking like he's about to go into a full-blown explanation about some science project of his. McCree hopes that isn't the case.

 

“Athena and I had to figure out where you were after I couldn't find you using the satellites. Soldier suggested I try hacking into the cameras around your mission area and we located you and Hanzo using those.” McCree laughs and tries to pop his back that feels much too stiff for him to be standing here, listening to an explanation on how they were found, and soon he's following with his own explanation on what exactly happened on the mission (even if Winston knows most of the details and the rest are small and useless).

 

“Good thing ya did. Wasn't really keen on spendin’ a full week on that ship. Felt like the whole world became a snow globe with some kid constantly shakin’ it.” That seems to catch Winston's attention and he asks Athena to record the conversation they're about to have. McCree internally groans, not wanting to tell what happened but knowing he has to. Jack just stands by the entire time, listening in silence and being far too intimidating even though he isn't talking.

 

“Tell me everything that happened with the mission, starting from when you and Hanzo landed in Indiana.” McCree nods, wishing he had a chair so he could lounge and not have to stand. Then again, he has been sitting in various metal containers for a few hours. He might have to train after that shower.

 

“Well, me and Hanzo found the base, went inside and found the console that kept sendin’ that distress signal. As ya know, someone hacked it, said someone bein’ Talon and Reaper, so I told ya and started erasin’ the files. Reaper attacked us, fried our communicators with some sorta device that sent out magnetic pulses, and we managed ta escape inta the forest. Talon had already got ta the carrier so we had ta walk ta the nearest city where we spent a night in a motel. We left the next mornin’, bought some supplies, and snuck onta a train car that we rode on all the way ta New Jersey. Bought more supplies, some clothes we could change inta, and snuck onta the ship y'all found us on. That's all that happened.” Winston was rubbing his chin and thinking on the information McCree just provided him with.

 

“A magnetic pulse? Reaper had an EMP generator?” McCree nodded and pointed at the ear his communicator had been in.

 

“Fried the wirin’ from what I could tell. Sparks were flyin’ everywhere.” Winston thanked him and asked Athena to end the recording, letting out a sigh once the explanation was done.

 

“Thank you for the information Jesse. I'll talk to Hanzo later. You can go as I'm sure you would like to go and clean up now.” McCree nodded a little too enthusiastically and said a quick goodbye before speed walking out if the lab and towards his room, actually looking forward to a nice hot bath to calm his nerves and muscles holding three days worth of exhaustion and tension. He'll definitely be glad to have his usual body wash and shampoo on hand, looking forward to no longer smelling like he ran through the sewer for a week. Along with his toothbrush and mouthwash that'll be sitting by the sink that he'll use right after because his cigars are already putting his mouth in danger, he doesn't need cavities to contend with.

 

McCree makes it to his room in no time, tossing the bag with all the clothes he bought onto his bed (Hanzo having taken his own to his room and Fareeha taking all the food to the dining hall to store it). He thinks he might as well wear them since he paid good money for the damn things, so he chooses a shirt and pair of jeans, stopping at his dresser to get a fresh pair of boxers (because even he is aware that he has worn the same pair for _far_ too long), then going to the bathroom so McCree can have that long awaited bath. When the water is the right temperature and the bath has nearly filled to the brim, he steps in and McCree doesn't try to stop the moan of pleasure he lets out as the water engulfs him.

 

Long awaited and definitely appreciated.

 

He soaks in the tub for some time, making sure to work in the shampoo and body wash before he decides keeping himself from becoming a prune takes precedence over soaking for a couple more minutes. He dries off, puts on the clean clothes, and brushes his teeth for a minute longer than he usually would. Once McCree is sure he's cleaned enough, it's time to take his clothes to the room that basically works as a personal laundromat for the operatives with washers and dryers stacked and placed next to each other (meant for use by every agent within the base since the rooms couldn't be expanded beyond the bathrooms). He arrives there within a few minutes, not at all surprised to see Hanzo already there with a few articles of his own and wearing a different version of his usual outfit, this time in white. He seems to be finished already with the washer and has turned towards the dryer next to it. He turns to look at McCree the moment he walks through the door, and the gunslinger gives a small jerk of his head in greeting, receiving a nod of acknowledgement in return. McCree goes for the washer just a few feet away and begins his own chore of washing the filth of the mission from his poor outfit (and he thankfully knows enough to not ruin the articles further by mixing the wrong clothes or adding detergent when he shouldn't). He watches as the clothes spin inside the washer, wondering what he should have for dinner. Since he currently doesn't have to worry about preserving food, McCree can eat all he wants and drink some bourbon instead of water. Even have a candy bar afterwards because he definitely needs something sugary before he sleeps tonight.

 

A noise to his left has him looking towards Hanzo who apparently cleared his throat to get the other man's attention.

 

“You have spoken with Winston?” McCree was hoping that whatever came out of Hanzo's mouth wasn't going to be more talk about the mission, but it's not like he's about to be an ass and ignore the archer (even though Hanzo might do the same to him, but that's not McCree's style).

 

“Yea, told him what we did and all that. He's gonna talk ta ya later on and get yer take on it.” The man nods, eyes never leaving the the dryer despite there being no window for him to see the clothes. He also has no idea how to progress the conversation any more, unable to understand why he even spoke in the first place to someone he would readily avoid any other time. It might be due to the fact he spent three days with the other Overwatch member, and the thing they mostly did was talk when they had time. It might have become a natural reaction to talk in McCree's presence, but Hanzo thinks it's unlikely for something like that to occur with only seventy-two hours of constant contact. Then again, anything is possible if he thinks about it (because mystical dragons that shoot from his arm, girls that can manipulate time, _his brother coming back from the grave_ ).

 

It's then that Hanzo notices the water dripping from the ends of McCree's hair.

 

“Your hair is still wet. You must dry it properly or you will catch a cold.” McCree holds back a smirk at that, having Hanzo showing a little bit of concern about his wet hair and health, and subconsciously runs his hand over the wet ends.

 

“It's only a little. Ain't like I'm walkin’ around bare naked so it should be fine.” Hanzo makes a disgusted face at that and looks away from McCree, deciding the remark warrants a little payback.

 

“How fortunate, otherwise it would be everyone else becoming sick.” He looks at the other man in his peripheral and tries not to smile at the look of utter shock, quickly replaced by feigned hurt.

 

“Ya wound me, partner. I never knew ya could be so heartless.” Hanzo rolls his eyes at the overdramatic reaction to his words, even if it is a joke in return, and wonders if he should just let McCree get sick because of his decisions.

 

It isn't long before his clothes finish, and Hanzo takes them out before making his way out of the room, not even bothering to say goodbye to McCree who just shakes his head with a smile. Hanzo is on his way back to his room to put away his freshly cleaned kyudo-gi and hakama when a voice stops him. He doesn't want to, but Hanzo turns anyway to see Genji walking towards him. The assassin knew it was just a matter of time before his brother found him since Hanzo hadn't greeted Genji the moment they got back, interaction not going any further than the little they had back on the ship. He was hoping to continue avoiding Genji but he should know better than to think he can hide from his brother forever. How naive Hanzo is.

 

“I have been looking for you Hanzo. I was hoping we could talk.” That's what he always wants to do and in Hanzo's opinion, it's a fruitless endeavor that won't end well. It never does, mostly because Hanzo can't stand being in the same room as the _stranger_ claiming to be his sibling. He lashes out long before they reach a consensus on any matter and the conversation is normally never brought up again. But everyone seems to think talking will do him good, so Hanzo guesses he should try.

 

“What do you want Genji?” It probably comes out harsher than he intends but Hanzo doesn't see any obvious change in his brother's current behavior. Not that he can see much of anything about him anymore, but he doesn't dwell on it.

 

“I wanted to ask about the mission. If you are alright.” Hanzo stares at Genji with a scowl, already knowing that there must be an ulterior motive to the curiosity of his brother. He did not give any indication that he was anything other than alright, even if he did ignore the other members in favor of marching straight to his room. Maybe that could have been misinterpreted as Hanzo being on edge and wanting to be alone when all he really wanted was a nice, hot shower and his toothbrush. But he thinks Genji would be able to tell if anything was truly bothering the archer so he isn't quite sure what the cyborg thinks he'll gain from asking about his recent screw up (even if they did figure out the reason behind the distress signal, but they chose to run instead of fight). Hanzo would usually walk away by now, but he kind of wants to know what Genji hopes to get out of him so he takes a chance.

 

“I am fine. We found the reason behind the signal, wiped the files, have made it back here safely. Neither McCree or I sustained injuries.” Genji listened in silence and nodded when Hanzo was done, the other man swearing he saw the lights on Genji's body become a little brighter. It might have been his eyes tricking him (but he was an archer, he was supposed to have sharp eyesight, always did).

 

“I am happy to hear that. I was worried something had happened since you both had been gone for so long with no contact.” Hanzo hums and decides his newly washed clothes are far more interesting than the metal faceplate staring back at him.

 

“We had no way of telling anyone where we were. Our only option was constant movement, much to the insistence of McCree.” Genji's head tilts a little to the side at the mention of the cowboy still just a few rooms away from them, far enough down the hall so he won't be able to hear their conversation immediately when he goes to leave.

 

“And after these last few days, what do you think of him brother? After being with him for so long.” Now Hanzo is most certainly suspicious of Genji's motive behind the little interrogation. He wants to ask what his brother is truly aiming for by asking Hanzo these questions, especially what he hopes to accomplish by asking what he thinks about McCree, but Hanzo thinks he's spent so long lashing out these past few days that he's just too tired to get angry now. He hasn't had any decent amount of sleep and he's ready to see if he can't keep his eyes closed for more than an hour. He chooses to just answer instead after some thinking.

 

“He is… dependable. Not so immature as I first thought.” He thinks back to the moment on the train and very nearly says _also very kind_ but quickly stops himself. That was simply a trip to the past for the other man about people he cared about, nothing Hanzo should be reminiscing over. Genji nods, Hanzo unaware of the little smile behind his mask.

 

“He is a good man. Sometimes brash and quick to act, but you can count on him when you need to.” Hanzo looked back at Genji, eyes narrowing at the words. He wants to ask why the ninja is even telling him this, but a door opening and McCree stepping into the hallway stops him from saying any more. Hanzo doesn't bother saying anything as a goodbye to his brother, simply grunts and resumes his walk back to his quarters. Genji lets out a huff similar to a laugh as he watches his brother's retreating back and turns to McCree who is looking his way with a frown. Genji walks over to the bigger man who doesn't even wait until they're next to each other to begin talking.

 

“Did somethin’ happen?” Genji shakes his head, indicating nothing is wrong.

 

“I was merely speaking with my brother. Making sure he is unharmed.” McCree looks in the direction Hanzo left, taking note that he seemed to have walked away in a bad mood, but otherwise doesn't comment on it and simply shrugs.

 

“Far as I know he's okay. Only trouble we encountered was them Talon bastards, but we got away unscathed. We didn't get much sleep though so he's probably hopin’ ta lay on his bed for a few hours. Might do that myself too.” The siren song of sleep has become just as strong as the allure of food since they got back and McCree thinks that it wouldn't hurt to take a nap after a nice hot meal. He feels like his eyes will close on him if he keeps them shut for long enough, so getting some sleep sounds very appealing at the moment despite how far away it is from his usual bedtime. Genji nods his understanding and goes to make his way to the training room.

 

“Then I will speak later with you Jesse. Have a nice rest.” He walks away from the gunslinger who just stands in the hall for a few seconds, back to staring at the end where Hanzo walked away before he decides to put away the load of clothes piled in his arms. He wants to talk with the other man, but Hanzo didn't seem to be in a chatty mood when he left (not that he ever does) so McCree leaves it for now.

 

Food and sleep have currently become his number one priority, if the rumbling of his stomach and heaviness of his eyes are anything to go by.

\-----

The next morning was met with more faces in the Gibraltar base as others returned from their own missions. Lena and Lucio returned from a recon mission, both heading for the recreation room that Hana would no doubt be waiting in. Satya, Zarya, and Ana came back from a rather eventful mission of trying to stop Talon from murdering an entire village so they could use the land for their own benefits (which they sadly didn't find out the main reason behind the attack, just that Talon wanted the land for something). Zarya went with Mei who greeted her in the hangar and they left the others, heading towards the makeshift lab that had been set up for the other scientist. Satya went straight to her room while Ana decided to visit McCree who was eating breakfast in the dining hall because she had heard from Jack what had happened on his recent mission while she was gone. When she found him, he was sitting in front of an empty plate and nursing a cooling mug of black coffee. McCree looked rather tired and Ana wondered if that was still his first cup (because she's seen the man drink up to three in one morning). Her presence doesn't register to him until she sits next to McCree who smiled once he noticed her.

 

“Mornin’. Didn't know y'all were comin’ back today.” Ana shrugs, keeping her full attention on McCree for now since her daughter hasn't shown up yet or left before she got there.

 

“Neither did I. Winston had said that the mission was going to last longer, but we managed to ward off Talon faster than predicted. Ms. Vaswani is a rather intelligent young woman.” McCree hums, taking huge mouthfuls of his coffee, knowing he'll need to pour another soon. He's only on his second and still isn't fully awake.

 

“I heard from Soldier about what you and Hanzo did while I was gone.” McCree nearly chokes on his drink but luckily manages to quickly cough his airway clear.

 

“Did’ja now?” He really didn't want anyone else knowing about their poor excuse of handling the mission (despite Winston saying how smart it was to try and get back to Gibraltar on their own while staying off the radar of any enemies), and Ana was one of the last people he wanted to find out. McCree wonders if he should give the old man a piece of his mind, but thinks better of it since all three of them are old pals. Not to mention Ana was like a mother to him so of course she'd worry.

 

“He told me that you ran into Reaper.” The name makes the man next to her stiffen a little, but it's understandable considering the person who Reaper used to be.

 

“We did. Bastard fried our communicators when we confronted him so we had no way ta contact the base. We only got away ‘cause I hit ‘em with a flashbang.” It's Ana’s turn to hum as she brings up a console to order some food. The sniper figures she should eat something while she has the chance.

 

“At least you are both back at base in one piece.” McCree doesn't move immediately, but he smiles after thinking about it and puts his metal limb in Ana’s line of sight as he smirks at her.

 

“Ya mean ‘bout as intact as when we left.” Ana smiles at that, not outright laughing as McCree would have hoped but he'll take the win nonetheless. Anything to lighten the mood that was already soured by the mention of ghosts that aren't kind to old friends. Ana takes a few bites of her food before continuing the conversation.

 

“And how is Hanzo holding up after all this?” McCree stares at the remainder of his drink in the mug and can only think to shrug.

 

“Doin’ as good as he can I guess. Wasn't exactly the happiest person durin’ our mission, but he ain't exactly made of roses any other time either. Least he talked ta me instead of just ignorin’ me like I had a disease.” Which was exactly what he did when he first got here, only it wasn't just McCree getting the cold shoulder, everyone was avoided the first few days Hanzo stayed at the base. He only decided to try and socialize with the other agents after being cornered in the training room by the younger members who praised his skills, as well as Genji giving him soft words of encouragement. Not to say McCree stopped receiving the silent treatment after that, but he wasn't exactly being treated with the utmost respect either. The cowboy took it with a grain of salt and figured the other man just needed time which he would gladly give since he was still coming to terms with the fact it was Genji’s brother standing in front of him (which he has now fully accepted).

 

McCree is pulled from his memories when Ana hums in response again.

 

“The process might be slow, but I believe he is warming up to us all. He just needs more time coming to terms with everything.” McCree frowns, knowing exactly how that feels. He can guess the experiences he shares with Hanzo, mainly involving needing to be fitted for fake limbs and suddenly having people you thought were dead show up out of nowhere (even if he wasn't the one who killed them, he still knows the feeling). He knows all too well how both of those moments can affect a person, and he's aware that Hanzo thinks he's beyond help, which is why he still mostly avoids everyone in the base. McCree can't help but feel a little sorry for the archer.

 

“Ya know, yer soundin’ an awful lot like Zenyatta. What with the words of wisdom and all that.” Ana can't help the smile that graces her face.

 

“You learn a lot over the years. Besides, I'm about three decades ahead of you in age, of course I'll be wiser than you.” McCree scoffs at that and gets up to get a refill of coffee that's actually warm now that his cup has gone cold.

 

“Wiser my ass. Just a fancy way a sayin’ ya got more experience in some areas.” McCree stops moving after he's taken a few steps away from the table and looks back at the woman still eating, giving her an almost sad look.

 

“But yer right, as much as I hate ta admit. Man doesn't come ta terms with something like that over night.” Ana nods her head once as she turns around, knowing McCree is speaking half on Hanzo’s account and half on his own.

 

“Indeed.” McCree finally walks away to get more coffee, finding Jack already standing there and watching the mug currently being filled by the coffee maker. Remembering that this was the man who just made him have an almost awkward conversation with Ana, McCree decides he'll make that little jab anyway. He walks up to the counter to stand next to the other man and wait with him. Jack only gives him a nod as acknowledgment to his presence, to which McCree sends one in return.

 

“Waitin’ on the coffee I see.” He receives a grunt as a response and almost feels like he's talking with Hanzo instead of Jack. They both vocalize their responses the same way most of the time and are stubborn as a mule, and McCree has to forcibly push out the newfound discovery from his mind. There are some things he doesn't want to delve too far into with the comparisons so he'll leave it at that.

 

“Had a talk with Ana a moment ago. Told me a bird started chirpin’ in her ear.” He can't tell if those words do anything to Jack since his posture always seems tense and his face is hidden behind his mask most of the time, but the silence he gets in return basically tells McCree all he needs to know (even if Ana did tell him who told her).

 

“Thought ya were big on not tellin’ people ‘bout other's missions, even if they’re friends.” Jack doesn't say anything right away, eyes probably fixated on the cup that is almost full and McCree imagines the other man is trying to will the mug to fill faster. He finds the thought rather humorous yet a little sad because that would mean Jack is trying to run from him.

 

“She could tell I was bothered by something. You know how Ana gets when she becomes worried.” McCree nodded and hummed, knowing that when it came to Ana, she wouldn't rest until someone told her why they were upset. He'd seen it happen so many times in the old days, watching as she talked the person down and followed them until they gave in. It was especially entertaining watching her do that to Reyes a few times who would stubbornly ignore her until she won over him. McCree remembers the record being four days before he caved and told Ana why he was pissier than usual. He doesn't remember the reason though.

 

“Gotcha. Wasn't tryin’ ta be mean or anythin’, I was just wonderin’.” Jack nods, quickly grabbing his mug that is now full of coffee before he goes for the sugar. McCree puts his cup where Jack's previously was and starts his turn to watch the coffee slowly pour into the cup. The process is always so slow and monotonous that McCree's mind can't help but wander and he thinks about what he should do today. He's ready for a smoke and will have to go just outside the base so he can light a cigar. He hasn't had one in quite a while. McCree should also visit the training room since he didn't use his gun for most of the mission he got back from and the last thing he wants is to become rusty and be killed out in the field. He might even train with Genji if the cyborg is up for it. Then there's seeing if Winston will deploy him on another mission soon to which he'll probably need to prepare. His gun could also use some cleaning…

 

McCree is so caught up in his thoughts that the voice suddenly speaking next to him makes the man startle.

 

“Were you planning to stare at the cup all day?” McCree turns his head to see Hanzo standing there and looking at the mug still sitting in the coffee maker, now full of steaming coffee. McCree laughs awkwardly and takes the cup, wondering if he should deliberately burn his tongue so he can leave the kitchen.

 

_Nah. I prefer my tastebuds intact._

 

“Was lost in my thoughts is all. Thanks for tellin’ me.” He sips the drink cautiously so he doesn't scorch the entirety of his mouth while Hanzo begins his routine of brewing himself some tea. Neither say anything the entire time, and McCree debates going back to his seat at the table so he doesn't look like he's guarding the coffee maker. Hanzo keeps him from doing so by speaking.

 

“Winston said we will be given another mission tomorrow. He received a tip about Talon activity in a nearby country.” McCree stares into his coffee, wondering exactly what ‘nearby’ means.

 

“We ain't goin’ overseas again are we?” Hanzo shakes his head and McCree feels relief.

 

“He seems reluctant to send us to another continent anytime soon after our recent mishap in America.” McCree nods his understanding and braves the warmth of the coffee as he tries taking bigger gulps instead of careful sips. He's rewarded when the back of his throat isn't burned when he swallows.

 

“Is it gonna be recon or are we actually fightin’?” Hanzo shrugs.

 

“He wasn't sure. He said we might have to, depending on what happens.” Another gulp of his coffee.

 

“Any idea who's comin’ along?” Hanzo shakes his head in reply and McCree can only think that he'll have to wait until the debrief that'll happen tomorrow morning. He really isn't looking forward to waking up at the crack of dawn, but McCree knows if he doesn't, he'll have Jack or Ana to contend with. However, unlike McCree, the man next to him will have no problems rising with the sun and preparing to take down the same enemies that ruined their last mission. In fact if he thinks about it, that alone might be enough to get McCree out of bed and raring to kill some Talon agents since he couldn't last time. All he could do was run and hope none of them followed, so a chance for a little revenge sounds rather appealing.

 

McCree has been thinking for so long that the rest of his coffee has gotten far too cold for his liking, so he figures some time in the training room will do him some good. When he looks at the man next to him that's calmly sipping his tea, he wonders if Hanzo has already been to the training room. He has yet to spar with the other man and thinks it might be a nice change of pace from either Genji or the bots.

 

“Ya been ta the trainin’ room yet?” Hanzo looks up at McCree and nods.

 

“I was there this morning, practicing before I came here. I was planning to return after a break.” McCree was almost about to call his plan to spar with Hanzo a bust after the first few words, but he thinks he might get that chance after all, if the other man isn't opposed.

 

“Feel like bein’ sparrin’ partners for today? Was gonna get in some exercise myself and wanted ta do somethin’ other than use the bots as target practice.” Hanzo seems to consider his offer for a moment, even going so far as to take a few more sips of his tea before answering with a small nod.

 

“I would not mind. It would definitely be a welcome change. The robots have gotten too predictable.” McCree laughs and shakes his head, half thinking that what the assassin said was a rather arrogant statement, the other thinking how true it is and relating to the dilemma. Robots can only be useful for so long when made for one specific thing like combat training, so a change is necessary once in a while. McCree is also a bit surprised he got Hanzo to agree and doesn't have to go to Genji (because the other members are either too young for his liking, wouldn't be able to help with their methods of fighting, or he's seen them fight hundreds of times).

 

“Then we'll head out when yer done.” Hanzo grunts as McCree pours out the rest of his coffee that has become cold and disgusting.

\-----

McCree pops his back a bit, wincing when he pulls the bandage taught along with his new wound. It had been an accident that was done during his training with Hanzo, who apparently didn't take too kindly to sneak attacks (and why would he, the man is a deadly assassin raised in a family of yakuza). The training they did was trying to take out the enemy before he took you out, basically deadly hide and seek. McCree was having a rough time trying to locate Hanzo since the man was quieter than the dead and was constantly moving from building to building in the space generated by Athena, but he finally managed to corner him on one of the rooftops (after being nearly hit far too many times by the tweaked arrows being used by the archer). He managed to get close enough for a clear shot, but Hanzo apparently had some lightning reflexes, because the next thing McCree knew, the gun was gone from his hand (knocked to the side after Hanzo actually _punched_ it out of his grip) and he was pinned to the roof with an arrow nearly lodged into his side. Hanzo apologized for the rough treatment, looking downright startled at what he had done to the gunslinger. McCree, despite thinking that it was him who should be startled, figured there was something more to that outburst than just simple training. He was at least able to learn two things after their training was called off for McCree to visit the infirmary.

 

Hanzo is not above stabbing his arrows into enemies that are too close, and the man is very strong since he was able to wound McCree with a blunted arrowhead that was designed to be non-lethal. He is concerned though, since Hanzo had become quiet and kept his eyes low as he tailed McCree to the infirmary so he could get some bandages (Angela currently on a mission somewhere in Asia), and apologized another two times after taking it upon himself to dress the new wound. McCree kept telling him it wasn't a big deal, but Hanzo still left with a distraught look and guilty air. McCree decided to head back to his room and start on cleaning his gun, which had been at least an hour ago. He's almost wondering if Genji will come into his room any moment, demanding to know what happened and why his brother is moping.

 

The thought makes McCree chuckle as he starts putting Peacekeeper back together, taking a quick swig of bourbon that burns down his throat in a delightful way. He then starts to wonder what actually caused Hanzo's little outburst, thinking if he should go ask Genji about it, maybe even Hanzo himself, but thinks better of it. Some things need questioning while others are better left alone. McCree has experienced enough to know that this isn't a matter that should be asked about.

 

Not yet anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why does this chapter feel boring to me?
> 
> And next chapter involves story time and bros being ninjas (which I'm being perfectly serious).


	8. The Start of Something Annoying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New missions give rise to new problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna put it out there that most of what I write concerning back-story is entirely made up on my part, as I'm sure everyone knows. It's just that I like coming up with these little stories pertaining to the characters.

Much to McCree's annoyance, the mission was going to start off as reconnaissance. Winston had actually requested that the agents who would be taking part in the mission (McCree, Hanzo, Genji, and Hana) would try to stay out of trouble and not engage the enemy unless absolutely necessary. They agreed and found that the tip he received was pointing them to some small city in northern Russia, where Winston believed they were going to do an arms deal with a local gang. McCree had only been there a few times, all rather brief visits, but it wasn't his most favorite place in the world. Far too cold for his liking, even when he was bundled in excessive amounts of clothing. This was really a mission McCree wasn't looking forward to, especially since he couldn't just go in guns blazing and take out any Talon agent he saw. He really wanted to pay them back for what went down in Indiana.

 

Instead, he has to do another stakeout like so many other missions and hope he can find _something_ entertaining to pass the time. Otherwise he'd die of boredom as he watched Talon buy guns from some street thugs.

 

“Angrily tapping your foot will not help this mission go by any faster, if that's what you are hoping for.” McCree doesn't look at Genji, taking to grunting as a response while he angrily chews on the end of a smoking cigar. He hears a huff of laughter from the cyborg next to him and has to resist the urge to scowl at his friend.

 

“What exactly has you so upset that you are acting like Soldier 76?” McCree perks up at that, whipping his head in Genji’s direction with a look of utter betrayal that has the other man holding back a loud bark of laughter. McCree doesn't really find the comparison all that funny, knowing full well that Jack was much older and far grumpier than McCree could ever hope to be (even though he knows those things will end up happening later on in his life) so hearing his friend say something so insulting was a shock. Then again, this is Genji he's conversing with. The other man sometimes has no filter when it comes to his jokes (not that McCree was any better but still).

 

“If ya must know, I’d rather just be shootin’ the bastards instead of watchin’ them illegally buy guns. I still owe them for what they made me go through back in the U.S.” Genji nods, finally having calmed down enough so he wasn't holding back laughter.

 

“I am sure you will get your chance soon. Battle always seems to find us, even when we do not want it to.” McCree huffed and nodded, knowing how true that statement was when it came to their ragtag team of young and old heroes with barely a penny to their names (save for Hana and Lucio because they apparently had other professions along with being in Overwatch). Trouble always seemed to find them no matter how careful they were, whether it was from Talon trying to take out the thorn in their sides or hired guns and assassins looking to cash in on the bounties some of the members had hanging over their heads. That was something McCree knew all too well.

 

“I ain't askin’ for a straight up brawl, just a little action so I can let off some steam. That's not a bad thing ta want, is it?” He received a shrug as a response and narrowed his eyes playfully at the man beside him on the carrier.

 

“Some friend ya are. Yer supposed ta agree with me, even if what I say is stupid.” Genji didn't move at first, staring at McCree who was waiting eagerly for the response he was going to get, until the cyborg shrugged again just to mess with the cowboy. Genji received a soft punch to the arm as punishment and both men were laughing softly to themselves, completely oblivious to the other two agents currently in the plane with them. Hana wasn't really paying attention to any of her teammates, opting instead to play video games on a handheld she brought with her. Hanzo was also ignoring the other people on the carrier, deciding that staring out the window and watching the outside world pass them by was a much better way to pass the time. That didn't mean he was completely oblivious to the conversation going on between his brother and McCree, having mixed feelings about what he was witnessing just a few feet away. Part of him was happy for Genji, content to know that his brother was well loved and could act carefree around other people. Another, bitter part of him kept repeating _that could have been me_ over and over again in his head. The many what ifs that he always seems to think about when he's near Genji (thought about even before he knew his brother was alive) that could have happened if he hadn't been such a fool and instead put family over duty. They could have run away together, left the clan and lived somewhere else, laughing away the days and making friends with the locals wherever they ended up settling. Instead, he decided that the clan always came before anything else, including his own sibling. Now all Hanzo can do is watch his brother as a slew of emotions race through him every time.

 

It still baffles him that none of the Overwatch members present when he first arrived at the Gibraltar base tried kicking him out or downright killing him when they found out who he was. Hanzo would have gladly welcomed it, knowing full well he deserved whatever ridicule and pain they could think to throw his way. Instead, a few opted for welcoming him into Overwatch while others avoided him for a couple days before trying any form of interaction. Hanzo still decided avoiding everyone was the correct option.

 

The carrier jerked and the passengers braced themselves for a couple minutes before the turbulence had passed. McCree grimaced as the movement had pulled the wound a bit and rubbed the sore area that was probably bleeding a little again. Genji noticed his pain and became worried as he questioned the other man.

 

“Is something wrong Jesse? Are you hurt somewhere?” McCree wasn't really sure how to answer, not too keen on recalling what had transpired between him and the elder Shimada that he suspected both would rather not bring up. But he knew he couldn't lie to Genji who was now aware of that McCree had something going on with him and tell him that nothing was wrong. He could only hope to be as vague as possible, maybe even slip in a little white lie or two.

 

“Just got a little bruise durin’ trainin’. Nuthin’ too major.” Genji continued to stare at him, making McCree a little uncomfortable at how long he kept quiet until the man finally spoke.

 

“Why do I have the distinct feeling you are lying to me?” McCree tried to keep his face passive as he slipped into a joking tone.

 

“Maybe ‘cause I said the same thing once before when I had a bullet in my gut?” McCree remembers that moment with perfect recollection, having been shot during a mission some years prior to the disbanding of the old Overwatch. Genji was fussing and McCree had tried to calm him by saying he was fine despite the hole in his stomach and blood spreading on his shirt. It only proved to rile Genji who threatened to dismember the other man if he continued trying to lie about his well-being. McCree thinks that he should be a cyborg as well by now.

 

“Jesse McCree, if you are lying to me I swear-” McCree waved his hands erratically and stopped Genji before he could finish the sentence.

 

“Alright, alright. It might be more than a bruise.” Genji didn't seem to be very satisfied with the answer as he continued bombarding McCree with questions.

 

“How did you get hurt? What exactly are you trying to hide?” McCree tried to stall and think of something, sparing a brief glance towards Hanzo who seemed completely oblivious to his interrogation. McCree could only sigh and hope the other Shimada didn't kill him later if he found out what he was about to tell Genji.

 

“I really didn't get that hurt durin’ trainin’ Genji. It just… it was yer brother that did it.” Genji seemed alarmed at that, head turning just a little that McCree thinks he's looking at Hanzo out the corner of his eye. He fully turned back to McCree to continue his questioning.

 

“How, exactly, did he injure you?” McCree was a little surprised to hear the hint of tension in Genji's voice and he was quick to try and stomp anything negative going through the ninja’s head.

 

“Now he didn't do it on purpose or with the intent ta hurt me. We were just havin’ a friendly sparrin’ match and I think I did somethin’ he didn't take too kindly ta.” Genji titled his head to the side a bit, wondering just what McCree did to make Hanzo injure him.

 

“Would you kindly elaborate?” McCree sighed and leaned back in his seat.

 

“He was up on one of the buildin’s and I got behind him. Got pretty close, had my gun pointed at him, next thing I know he's knocked the gun from my hand and has a blunted arrow actually jammed in me. I can't tell ya what made him react that way but he kept tellin’ me he was sorry.” Genji seemed to relax at the confession, turning his head once more towards his brother before taking a long inhale of breath.

 

“I already know why he reacted the way he did when you snuck up behind him. It is actually because-” Genji was stopped by McCree who held up his hand as a gesture for the other to stop speaking and he shook his head.

 

“I don't mean ta be rude, but I don't wanna pry. I'm sure that's a story for Hanzo ta tell, one he probably would prefer told when he's more comfortable.” Genji shook his head and lowered McCree's hand still held in the air.

 

“You don't understand. It is as much my story to tell as it is Hanzo's. I am choosing to share it with you.” McCree feels a little conflicted at first, but soon nods his head and prepares to listen. Genji takes another deep breath and thinks about where to start his story to explain why his brother reacted the way he did.

 

“We were young when it happened. I had begged my brother to take me to the festival that was taking place not far from our home. He was reluctant, but I was able to convince him so we left without telling anyone. We spent quite a while there, visiting the many stalls that lined the streets. What I did not take into account when wanting to go to the festival was the assassin that would come for us, hired by a rival family.” Genji paused in his story, glancing at McCree who was listening intently with his mouth hanging open slightly in shock. Genji continued.

 

“He caught us from behind, holding a gun in each hand and pressing them into our backs. I was too afraid at the time to do anything, but Hanzo stayed calm the entire time. He forced us to walk away from the festival, which Hanzo used to his advantage so he could fight the assassin without any distractions. It worked at first. He had successfully kept us from being shot, but the assassin proved more experienced and he shot Hanzo through his shoulder from behind. I tried to stop him but was also injured, a bullet going into my leg. The assassin left us there to bleed out, which we would have if one of our own had not found us after learning about our departure from the castle. Since then, Hanzo has always been anxious when someone comes up behind him, even if he does not show it.” Genji finishes the story and looks towards McCree whose eyes have considerably widened after hearing the entirety of the tale. There is silence between them for a few minutes before McCree decides to speak up himself.

 

“So it was actually trauma that made him act like that?” Genji nodded.

 

“Hanzo has many traumas that stem from our past. He only appears to be unafflicted most of the time and had to learn restraint and control. That is the only reason you did not end up in worse condition.” McCree swallows and nods like Genji just gave him life saving advice.

 

“Ain't that just comfortin’.” He then glances at Hanzo who seems to be fighting back the urge to close his eyes and sleep if the way he's rubbing at them is any indication. It makes McCree remember the night they shared at the motel and he wonders if the man got any sleep last night. The carrier jerking makes him push the thoughts aside as it descends and lands to let off the agents. They all walk off and Winston tunes into their communicators so he can give them orders and warnings.

 

“The city should be just up ahead. You'll need to stay out of sight and quiet if you're going to catch the agents. Which is why I want Hanzo and Genji to go on ahead and scour the streets for any suspicious activity. Hana and McCree will stay on standby until they have found a lead. Understood?” They all voiced their confirmation, McCree's and Hanzo’s sounding slightly more aggravated, and Winston cut off the communication after a quick ‘be careful’. Genji then turned towards the elder Shimada and jerked his head towards the place they needed to go for the mission.

 

“Are you ready brother?” Hanzo seemed to narrow his eyes but grunted his affirmation, not bothering to do the same as Genji who says a quick goodbye to his teammates. He started walking, Genji having to catch up after realizing Hanzo was leaving without him. McCree and Hana were left standing by the carrier, Hana going back to her game while McCree lit a cigar. Neither spoke and were content to wait in silence, much to the dismay of McCree (because he wanted some action dammit), but Hana decided she didn't mind talking while her nose was still buried in her game.

 

“Think they'll be okay by themselves?” McCree looked at the girl who kept her eyes trained on the screen in front of her, and raised a single brow in question.

 

“Ya mean regardin’ the mission or the fact they're alone together?” Hana does spare him a glance at that, a look with the silent question of _what do you think?_ that makes McCree want to roll his.

 

“They'll probably be fine. They wouldn't jeopardize the mission by havin’ a little siblin’ spat before we even managed ta find those agents.” Hana glares at her game, not because of what's currently happening on the screen, but because of McCree's words.

 

“How can you be so sure?” If he's truly being honest, McCree isn't. He's known Genji for quite a long time so he would like to think he knows the man pretty well. He even ended up spending about four days alone with Hanzo so he now has a bit of an idea on how the man ticks. What makes him unsure is the fact that there's so much tension between the brothers that anything could happen if they aren't careful. McCree tries to think of something that'll make it seem like he knows what he's talking about and that they have no need to worry.

 

“Genji wants Hanzo ta forgive himself. I’d say it's pretty obvious the man's got a stick up his ass ‘bout forgiveness, which makes Genji reluctant ta try and push him. Hanzo apparently ain't the kind of person ta engage in emotional conflict so he's most likely goin’ ta forego any and all talkin’ while they're together. Ta make it simple, neither want ta engage the other for fear of rejection and anger.” McCree ended his observation, not really sure what he was going to get as a response from the girl, but when he looked down, all he received was a blank stare.

 

“You sure you're not secretly some sort of emotional analyst or something? That sounded way too smart for you.” McCree sputtered, cigar almost falling from his lips and onto the ground if he hadn't grabbed it between his metal fingers.

 

“I ain't as dumb as ya think girly. 'Sides, I've learned a thing or two over the years. In case ya forgot, I was part of the original Overwatch.” And he had to learn how to read people in order to survive, was even trained by one of the best operatives, so he definitely knows what he's talking about. It's not his fault if he just seems like the kind of guy who never paid attention to his surroundings and was only alive thanks to sheer luck (or maybe that's pushing it). Hana seems to accept his words and goes back to playing her game while still opting to keep the conversation going.

 

“Anyway, if they're not going to fight then what should we expect from those two?” McCree hums in thought and takes a long drag from his cigar before answering.

 

“Either no talking with awkward silence or a one-sided conversation.”

\-----

Hanzo feels like cursing Winston for putting him on the same team as Genji and suggesting they go in first to scope out the area and try to find their targets. The cyborg, despite being told to _scour_ the city, has opted for staying close to Hanzo like the man will disappear from his sight if he even blinks. Hanzo knows he's in too deep to even attempt a vanishing act and falling off the radar of Overwatch and Talon, so that doesn't mean he needs to be tailed and watched by the person he desperately wants to avoid. Especially if he's going to put Hanzo and their relationship above the mission. He wants to tell Genji this, but arguing with the man is the last thing Hanzo wants right now, especially since their usual arguments end poorly, even did so when they were children (and everyone seems to know how one _particular_ spat ended since Genji is walking proof). So he really isn't too keen to start any sort of conversation that could very well end up with them ruining the mission and alerting Talon. Hanzo even thinks that Genji shares his feelings on the matter since his brother hasn't spoken since they separated from the other two, but he forgets that the ninja will forever be a thorn in his side no matter what.

 

“Tell me, what is it you wish to happen if we find the enemy?” Hanzo isn't sure the meaning behind the other's question and decides that sending Genji a slightly confused glare from over his shoulder is a good enough answer. It did the trick since Genji gives his reasons for asking such a thing out of nowhere.

 

“Jesse was hoping to engage Talon. He wants to fight them and pay the agents back for Indiana.” Hanzo does manage a noise at that, a quick exhale of breath that Genji swears is the elder Shimada’s equivalent to a laugh nowadays. Even better are the words that soon follow the noise, even if they are few in number.

 

“That is understandable.” The cyborg knows his brother would want to leave it at that, but Genji figures that any chance he has where he can break the thick shell of self hatred Hanzo has encased himself in is worth taking. He's thankful to Zenyatta that he's learned to pick his words more carefully now, unlike he did in his youth.

 

“Is that what you also wish for? Or would you prefer we refrain from engaging the enemy?” He doesn't know if Hanzo is ignoring him or contemplating his answer because Genji doesn't receive any response, not even an acknowledgment that he asked anything. He thinks about asking something else in order to rise any words from Hanzo until the other man decides that instead of an answer, he'll ask a question of his own (just like he did with McCree those few days ago after they landed, answering a question with a question).

 

“What about you? Would you want to follow McCree's example or stay out of sight?” Genji gives a soft chuckle at that, Hanzo turning his head at the sound as if confused as to why his brother is laughing.

 

“If that is the question then it would not matter whether we fought or observed. I always stay out of sight.” Hanzo rolled his eyes at the near arrogant answer, but a little voice in the back of his mind keeps thinking how that sounds like something Genji would say. It makes Hanzo frown a little and he tries to think of something else to occupy his thoughts.

 

Say for example, the mission he was assigned to, and not the needless bantering his brother wants to engage in. That's exactly what Hanzo does, forgetting the question he never answered directly (because Genji also didn't really answer his) and keeping his eyes trained on the ground below for anyone looking suspicious. It's somewhat difficult with all the people walking along the streets, constantly bumping into others because of the sheer number of people creating traffic without any cars. Both men continue moving along the rooftops, hoping to catch _someone_ looking out of place, but Hanzo has to wonder if they’ve already missed the people they're looking for. He almost becomes so focused on the mission that he nearly forgets his brother next to him, eyes going wide in mild shock from the small scare he receives when the filtered voice speaks next to him.

 

“Over there. Between those two buildings.” Hanzo looks to where Genji is pointing, seeing three people whispering among themselves in an alleyway (two men and one female from what he can determine) before venturing further into the space between the buildings. The brothers immediately move to follow, stealthily moving to each and every building with ease. They follow the trio of suspects for quite some time, Hanzo taking note of how far they are getting from the carrier and memorizing any and all distinguishable buildings and signs he can use to direct the others if these three turn out to be the agents they're looking for. Sure enough, when they round a corner of an alley, Hanzo and Genji stop a short distance away on one of the roofs and watch as the three approach a group appeared to be made up of both teenagers and adults (most likely ranging from somewhere in the twenties to thirties). Their clothing is rather colorful, and they have an air about them that Hanzo interprets as conceited and slovenly. Something that could only stem from fights with people weaker than the gang who were unable to defend themselves, a realization that makes Hanzo want to sneer in disgust. It's appalling, the arrogance they carry from fights that were so one-sided they should be considered laughable.

 

Now Hanzo is actually leaning towards the same thing as McCree, only the archer wants to take out both Talon and the rotten gang affiliated with them. He wants to show them that their few victories are nothing compared to what he has had to endure, is still taking part in to this day and that they're blissfully ignorant to actual fighting. He's not entirely sure where the insulted feeling came from, but Hanzo knows it's not one he particularly likes (not that anyone else would either).

 

He calms down just a little when Genji speaks next to him, informing Hana and McCree that they have found the site where those who are making the deal are talking. Hanzo hears McCree on the other end inform the brothers that they're heading their way, the assassin ready to give directions to their positions if need be. It's only after Genji tells Winston that they have a lead do the two decide to try and get closer, staying out of sight in hopes that they can overhear any details that might be of some use. They move without making a single noise, managing to stop in the roof just above the gang and Talon where both are able to hear most of what is being said.

 

“I know you want your guns, but I want my money. If you don't have it then the deal doesn't get done. Thought you people knew this.” The voice is so thick and heavily accented that they almost don't understand a single word, but they're thankfully able to make out most of it. Hanzo then hears a snicker from one of the criminals, he just can't tell which person made the noise.

 

“We said we don't have the money _on_ us, not that we don't have it. One quick call and it goes right to your account. Problem is, we want to make sure what you're giving us isn't some plastic toy. So either you show us the guns and get a nice donation, or we walk away and you don't get anything.” There's a long stretch of silence before he hears shuffling of boots on concrete and what sounds like something heavy being dragged on the ground. Hanzo glances at Genji from his peripheral before leaning over the edge to see if he can't get a glimpse at what's happening. His eyes immediately catch a wooden box in the middle of the group that wasn't there before that looks quite long and thick. Two of the gang members go to pry it open with crowbars, the lid popping off easily enough to reveal a multitude of guns that look far too expensive and high-tech for some gang members to simply have on hand. They're definitely stolen, but he doesn't know from where. Hanzo pulls back and nods at Genji who spares his own glance and sneaks away to inform Winston of what they have just seen without anyone in the alley hearing him. Hanzo focuses on the enemies below, adjusting his posture so he can release an arrow if he needs to. He hears the guns being moved as if someone was sifting through them before a low whistle.

 

“Guess you guys make good on your promises. These are definitely some top quality guns.” A grunt in response.

 

“Which means it's time you make good on yours. I'm not running a charity.” Hanzo leans over again and sees one of the Talon agents pull out a phone. He puts it to his ear, says a few words, then puts it back in his pocket in a matter of seconds.

 

“The money has been deposited. We look forward to doing business with you again.” He watches as the woman places a device on the box, causing it to suddenly light up blue and hover inches off the ground. The other agent grabs it and pulls it after him as he follows the other two out of the alley. It's then that Genji returns, motioning Hanzo to follow as they tail the Talon agents through more alleys, Hanzo telling the others that they're on the move again. McCree confirms they received the news and the comms go quiet as Genji talks.

 

“Winston still wants us to refrain from engaging them. We must continue following the three agents and hopefully find their base in the process.” Hanzo grunts as his eyes stay trained on the agents still traversing the back alleys and he makes a note to inform the other two of the direction they're currently moving in, as well as any changes that may occur. Hanzo and Genji continue following the three Talon operatives for quite some time before the buildings start becoming more decrepit with less people walking the streets. Hanzo is almost afraid to step onto some of the rooftops for fear that they'll give out under his weight, but the buildings are luckily sturdier than they look and neither Shimada go plummeting through the roofs. Finally, the three agents walk into one of the buildings and Genji switches on his communicator, informing Winston along with his other teammates.

 

“We have found their base. Old building, seems to have once been a shop of some sort. We can't see inside from our vantage point so we aren't sure if there are others inside.” Winston hums on the other end of the communicator before addressing the archer.

 

“Hanzo, are you able to fire a sonic arrow without giving away your positions?” Said man scans the area before answering the question.

 

“Firing into the building would be too risky, but I can try releasing the arrow into one of the alleys next to it.” Winston grunts and tells Hanzo to do so, the man quickly grabbing one of his sonic arrows and aiming for the alley left of the building. He fires and the arrow soars, meeting its mark on the concrete and sending out sonic waves that are just big enough to cover most of the area inside of the abandoned store. To their annoyance, the brothers are alerted to a total of seven people within the building and Genji quickly informs Winston of the new information.

 

“Seven total. Four in one room, three spread out, two of which are on the second floor.” Hanzo is somewhat annoyed that McCree's voice is the one that filters through the communicator, but he keeps his focus on memorizing where each enemy is positioned as the sonic pulses begin to stop.

 

“Not like Talon ta make a mission easy for us. Really, I'd be more worried if it had been just the three.” He softly chuckles and Genji answers in kind with his own quick laugh, which in turn makes Hanzo that much more annoyed. He doesn't find anything about this funny and neither should they. Quickly, he ends the little moment by pressing the button on his communicator and speaking to Winston.

 

“What would you have us do Winston?” They all hear a hum on the other end as if the scientist is contemplating what order he should give. It takes longer than Hanzo would like for him to answer but he eventually does.

 

“Take them down. Secure the guns. Don't get hurt.” Everyone acknowledges the orders and Hana chimes in saying that her and McCree aren't far. Hanzo takes out another sonic arrow to fire when they arrive, the brothers waiting patiently until their teammates have joined them. It takes a few minutes, but they finally show, McCree with his revolver drawn and Hana in her mech. McCree takes his turn to speak when they're all together, looking up towards the roof both Shimadas reside on.

 

“We makin’ some sorta plan or are we just goin’ in guns blazin’?” Hanzo doesn't wait for someone to speak as he fires the arrow that lands next to the first one, the sonic waves showing that three now reside on the second floor while the other four have not moved. Genji takes that as his cue to give his thoughts on the mission and how they should proceed with defeating the enemy.

 

“Stealth would be the better option here. Hanzo and I can take out the three on the upper floor fairly quickly. Jesse, do you think you could eliminate the four below?” McCree smiles and answers back with an ‘of course’ while Hana lets out a huff of annoyance into the communicator.

 

“Then what am I supposed to do? Just stand here and look pretty?” McCree turns the smile towards the girl and motions at the street with his gun.

 

“Yer the lookout. Ta make sure Talon don't send any back-up.” Hana huffs again and sighs, folding her arms with defiant resignation. The other three decide it's time to move, Hanzo and Genji making their way to the roof next to the building housing the agents while McCree casually waits for a little bit in the alley. He watches as Hanzo nocks an arrow and aims towards the building, letting the arrow fly after a couple seconds. It disappears through a window and into the building, McCree unable to see if anything happened but he's sure it hit its mark. Genji is then sneaking into the building through the same window and McCree takes that moment to walk across the street and towards the building. He casually strides inside through the front door, remembering that the arrow showed the agents are in the room to his left, so he presses against the wall and peers inside. The enemies are still as they were, apparently unaware of the commotion upstairs, much to his delight. Raising his gun, McCree turns so he's facing the agents who are now aware of his presence, pulling the trigger four times and downing every Talon agent with a lethal shot. He goes to check and make sure they are indeed dead and after he does so, the gunslinger turns on his comm.

 

“All clear on my end? Same with y'all?” All three members confirm that the enemies are dead with no reinforcements showing up so far, and McCree decides to see the guns for himself. The lid is already undone so he pushes it aside and checks the contents of the box. He whistles and picks one up with his metal hand, turning it over to get a better look.

 

“Mighty fine pieces they got. Talon really spares no expense.” He's carefully placing the gun back into the crate as Hanzo and Genji walk into the room, surveying the damage done by the cowboy before Genji begins informing Winston of their victory.

 

“The guns have been secured and the enemy defeated.” When the scientist speaks, Genji imagines the smile on his face.

 

“Good. That's great to hear. Come back to base with the guns. We'll see if we can't find out where they were taken from.” The three men are about to try and come up with a way to carry the box back with them, maybe even check if the female agent has anymore gravity technology on her when Hana speaking into the communicator and sounding worried stops them.

 

“As much as I don't want to say this, those reinforcements are here.” McCree curses under his breath and quickly goes over to the front window to check outside the store. A carrier is parked in the street just a few feet away with Talon operatives walking off. He curses again when he sees Widowmaker following behind the group of agents and he counts how many more they might have to face off against.

 

“We got eight more, not includin’ Widowmaker. These guys must've called them before we took ‘em out.” He then pressed the button on his communicator to talk with Winston who was most likely aware of the new problem.

 

“What do ya want us ta do big guy? Fight or get outta dodge?” It doesn't take even a second before Winston is answering.

 

“Get out of there if you can. I want you all back alive.” McCree knows by now that the guns are best left forgotten, even if they were the main objective for the mission and are going to end up in the hands of Talon if they leave. But the last thing they want is a confrontation with Widowmaker of all people (even if it isn’t Reaper, either are still annoying to deal with), so the only option left is a tactical retreat.

 

Now they just have to figure out a safe way out of the building without getting killed by one of the best snipers.

 

McCree thinks this just isn’t his day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already at chapter 8 (which I find surprising because I didn't think I'd write this much) and I'm still milking the missions gone wrong tag.


	9. Guilt Brought By A Bullet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions keep piling up after someone is downed on the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to remember to update the tags when needed.
> 
> And I feel like I should have said this before but I don't have a beta and I have to reread everything myself. I end up missing quite a bit if I'm not careful so if you see any mistakes and then they're suddenly gone the next day, you know why.

Hanzo looked between the guns and his other teammates, trying to think of what they could do to leave safely and still complete the mission. He knew that every second spent thinking was another they were closer to being discovered, so he acted and walked towards the fallen female agent he recognized from the alley. Hanzo searched for the device he saw her pull out of her jacket, hoping that she had more or the one she used had an ability for continuous use. The man felt relief when he found the small gravity manipulator inside one of the inside pockets and looked it over to see if he couldn't figure out how to use it. Hanzo then placed it on the box when he was sure he found out how to activate it and was thankful that the device worked. The box began floating like it had back in the alley when the gang members handed it over and he looked towards Genji and McCree.

 

“They should be easier to move now. We can take them back to the carrier with us and complete the mission.” Genji didn't really have anything to say since it appeared that McCree planned to do the talking for the both of them.

 

“That's all well and good partner but if ya haven't noticed, we got nine enemies just out front, one of which would shoot us ‘fore we even made it out the door.” Hanzo nods, fully aware of their situation (which would be considered dire since the shop apparently didn't have a _back door_ so their main option was the front), and he takes an arrow from his quiver to nock it into his bow.

 

“That is why I plan to cover the both of you.” McCree doesn't seem to catch on to what Hanzo is implying, looking ready to berate the man for assuming they'd be okay with him taking the brunt of the enemy attack, but Genji immediately knows what his brother plans to do.

 

“Will you be alright if you summon them?” McCree perks up at that, finally realizing what Hanzo was planning. He's a little intrigued at the idea, having only seen the massive blue dragons a couple of times from a farther distance. Part of him had wanted to get closer, but the mess they left after disappearing made McCree think he was better off watching from a distance.

 

“Once is not enough to exhaust me, as you should already know. I will simply be the diversion for as long as you need, and the dragons will give me a chance to take Talon out before they can do the same to us. Now grab the guns and be ready to move.” Neither question Hanzo further as they grab the box and push it towards the door while Hanzo moves to stand next to the front window. He stands just to the side of it, looking out at the enemies that have gotten closer than before. He knows he needs to shoot the arrow immediately.

 

“Go the moment they are released.” The archer doesn't know if he received any confirmation from the two since he didn't look behind him, but he does hear McCree inform Hana that they're about to move. Hanzo breathes, pulls back the arrow, and aims through a hole in the broken glass of the window. He can already feel the dragons moving under his skin, waiting to be released and take down anything in their path. He begins speaking the summons, blue bodies twirling and writhing along his arm that attach to his arrow and wait to be set free. Hanzo gives the dragons what they want as the last word is said, the arrow flying through the window and becoming two fierce and ferocious creatures that twist towards the Talon agents. The enemies seemingly become startled, unsure whether to shoot the dragons or move out of the way while McCree and Genji are already halfway across the street. Hana is already moving by the time they exit the shop, looking behind her to make sure no one is shot. Hanzo doesn't bother seeing if anyone survived as he runs out of the store and follows after his teammates, successfully making it across the street and into the alley. They continue running for quite some time through the alleys, checking behind them every now and then to make sure they aren't being followed by Talon agents, or worse, Widowmaker.

 

Hanzo knows they're close to the carrier and he thinks that they might be in the clear until he hears a shot and McCree, who was the one pulling the box behind him, crumples onto his knees. Hanzo reacts as fast as he can, spinning on his heel with an arrow already in place and aimed at Widowmaker who is standing on one of the rooftops. She sees him about to fire and goes to move, barely dodging the arrow as it flies past her. Hanzo curses in Japanese under his breath, looking behind him briefly to assess the damage done. McCree seems to have been shot in the leg if the blood and the way he's gripping his calf is any indication. The others react quickly, Hana hauling the man up using her mech while Genji continues pushing the box that is thankfully still floating. Hanzo follows close behind the rest of the way, eyes constantly scanning the rooftops for Widowmaker who appears to have retreated for now.

 

They reach the carrier, Genji immediately going for the first aid kit hanging on the wall as they ascend and begin their way back to Gibraltar. Hanzo decides he should be the one to inform Winston of what to expect when they arrive.

 

“We are alive and the guns are secure, but McCree has been injured, shot in the leg.” Winston sounds worried over the communicator, understandably so.

 

“Angela is due back any moment so she'll be here before you return. I want Jesse to head for the infirmary immediately.” Hanzo hears McCree laugh behind him and the man is suddenly talking to the scientist.

 

“That's great ta hear ‘cause walkin’ might be a bit hard for me right now.” McCree winces at how tight Genji makes the bandage, remembering all the other times he's been shot and thinking that he'll have to add another tally to the list. First stabbed by an arrow, now shot in the leg. He looks over at Hanzo standing off to the side who seems to be watching with disinterest as Genji works on stopping the bleeding for now. Hanzo then catches his gaze and turns away, to which McCree internally shrugs at. He doesn't think he's in any danger of being scolded by the other man (because he has Genji to do that for him, if just a little) since he doesn't look upset at the cowboy, but he doesn't look concerned either. McCree isn't exactly sure what Hanzo is currently thinking about, but he knows it's a little upsetting that the archer isn't showing even the slightest bit of worry for him. He's not even getting a scowl, just a blank look that was directed at his wound specifically and is now aimed towards the window.

 

McCree wonders if he should be worried that Hanzo isn't sporting his infamous annoyed face for once.

\-----

Hanzo isn't sure what he's feeling after the mission. Anger and regret definitely, both aimed towards himself for letting Widowmaker shoot and injure one of his teammates. But there's something else, a feeling he's all too familiar with and is sure it's because McCree was the one who ended up taking the bullet.

 

Guilt.

 

It isn't as strong as the day he (almost) killed Genji, but it's definitely there and he can feel it twisting inside his chest. What he can't understand is the reasoning behind him feeling guilty for McCree being shot. It might be because it means he failed to protect him when it mattered most, maybe because that meant that Widowmaker was able to avoid his dragons somehow and showed that she was superior. It very well could be both, he isn't sure. What he does know is that Hanzo doesn't like knowing that McCree was injured because of his mistakes. Problem is, he doesn't know how to approach the subject and deal with this newfound knowledge, so all Hanzo can think to do is isolate himself on the roof of the base and drink from his gourd. Meditating won't help him in the slightest (never has after what he did to his brother), so all that's left is for him to decide whether he should ignore the feelings or think on them. He doesn't think he can talk to anyone, not anyone who would understand and not laugh at him for it (because he's _Hanzo_ for crying out loud, when did he ever go to anyone for advice on emotional conflicts), so this is all the assassin can think to do about the situation. But like always, he somehow keeps forgetting that Genji is constantly seeking him out so he can try to be a part of his life again. That's why he's able to find Hanzo on the roof, is probably the only one who would think to look for the man in such a secluded and hard to reach place. Hanzo, unsure of what he should do in his current tipsy and emotionally constipated mind, sits completely still without addressing his brother who has just sat next to him, albeit with a good amount of distance between them. He's silent for the most part, not engaging in conversation with Hanzo just yet, but the elder Shimada knows it's just a matter of time. He's at least able to get another few sips of his sake down before his suspicions come true.

 

“You are upset. Why?” Hanzo thinks that maybe Genji is trying to make him feel worse with the interrogation style of questions because as far as he knows, Genji is already aware of the reason. With help from the alcohol, Hanzo answers, but still manages to refrain from answering the question directly.

 

“Are you so blind that you can not see the reason? I thought it was rather obvious.” It may have been with more anger than he intended, but Hanzo has almost lost the ability to filter his voice and remain calm with how much sake he's already consumed. If he keeps this up, Hanzo may end up falling off the building the moment he goes to climb down. He might be able to reach the ground safely since climbing is almost second nature to him, but Hanzo doesn't exactly want to test the theory just yet. Especially not at the very top of the watchpoint where he could go plummeting to his death with one wrong step.

 

Making up his mind, Hanzo caps his gourd just in time for Genji to speak again.

 

“I do believe my eyes can still see. That is how I know you are upset, and that it has to do with our latest mission. What I fail to understand is why you consider today's events enough of a reason to isolate yourself and drink.” Hanzo is also trying to figure out that very dilemma, why it upsets him so much to see McCree taken down by the enemy. He knows the man is alright, still alive and breathing even though a bullet was shot into his leg. There really is no reason for Hanzo to be acting like this, yet the guilt just keeps eating away at him. He doesn't know if there's so much alcohol in his system giving him liquid courage or if he really wants this feeling to be known, but he ends up explaining to Genji why he walked away the moment they landed and Angela appeared.

 

“I feel guilty for what transpired. It was my duty to take out Talon, but instead, it was McCree who was nearly killed. It was obvious Widowmaker deliberately shot him in the leg, but she could have very well shot McCree in the head. If not him, then any one of us.” He knows that isn't the whole truth since he didn't say that seeing McCree injured like that was what made him want to be alone and drown himself in his sake. Genji seems to mull over the words, taking a chance and placing a hand on Hanzo's clothed shoulder, an action that makes said man stiffen but silently allow.

 

“You tried your best. We are still alive, and Jesse does not blame you. Don't be so hard on yourself brother.” Genji stands and it seems as though he'll be the one to end their conversation this time, something Hanzo isn't sure if he's actually grateful for at the moment. The ninja is just a few feet away when he gives Hanzo some final words.

 

“If you want to make sure, then talk to Jesse. He should be in the infirmary for the rest of the day.” And then the man is gone, leaving Hanzo to mull over his words and contemplate doing just as Genji suggested. He wants to, if only to make sure his mistake didn't cost them a valuable member to the team, and maybe say an apology or two. If he has to guess, McCree will just smile at him and wave off the apology as though him getting injured isn't a big deal. Hanzo will become angry, saying that it is because he screwed up and didn't make sure they were in the clear that he must apologize, and maybe McCree will relent first or Hanzo will simply storm out of the infirmary. Perhaps he'll be the one who relents first and say he's sorry again. But thinking about what might happen won't solve the situation (and since when was Hanzo able to imagine what could happen between him and McCree after their limited amount of interaction), so he should just go to the infirmary and talk to the cowboy. Hanzo stands, taking note that he isn't as wobbly as he thought he'd be with how much he drank, and slowly climbs down the side of the base. No one seemed to even notice he wasn't inside since the moment he enters and Fareeha sees him, she stares at him as if she expected Hanzo to be in his room, not in front of her. She must suddenly remember that it's _Hanzo_ she's thinking about as she abruptly shrugs her shoulders and nods towards him before continuing down the hall. Hanzo also doesn't dwell on the moment as he makes his way towards the infirmary that already has voices filtering out from behind the closed door. From what he can hear, Lena, Hana, and Lucio decided to visit McCree and check up on him.

 

Not wanting to disturb their conversation for the moment (because he may be a little drunk but he can still think), Hanzo leans against the wall next to the door and waits until the others decide to leave. It takes some time but when the door finally opens, all three walk into the hallway, giving Hanzo brief looks and acknowledgments when they notice him. He does the same and takes his turn to walk into the infirmary, eyes landing on McCree currently sitting on one of the cots with his leg resting on a pillow, Angela off to the side and reading a data pad intently. McCree is the first to notice him, looking a little happy but mainly surprised that Hanzo decided to visit. Neither really speak, not even after Angela notices the new presence in the room and is looking between them with concern and curiosity, probably confused as to why neither are talking. Hanzo thinks it's now or never and he takes a deep breath before speaking.

 

“I came here to apologize for allowing you to be injured. I should have made sure Widowmaker had been taken care of.” He's now expecting McCree to wave it off as an accident like he imagined on the roof, and he's a little upset when he turns out to be half right. The man doesn't wave, but he does shrug nonchalantly as though it doesn't matter.

 

“Ain't really nuthin’ ta be sorry for. I'm still alive and we all made it back with the stolen guns. If anythin’, that quick thinkin’ of yers is what got us outta that mess. We probably would've ended up dead or captured.” Hanzo now isn't sure what he should reply with. The brush off of his apology was what he had expected, but the praise that came after it was a little shocking and left him unable to think of a reply. Hanzo just thinks that apologizing again will suffice for a continuation to their exchange.

 

“I would still like to apologize.” He doesn't list the reasons he feels guilty like he did for Genji since McCree doesn't seem like he wants to hear them. He made his point and repetition will get them nowhere. McCree nods, hand twitching like he was going to dip his hat but soon realizing it was next to him on the chair, and gives a little smile.

 

“Well then, apology accepted. ‘Sides, ain't like this is the first time I've been shot. Definitely not the worst either so I'd say everythin’s good. What d’ya say partner?” He looks at Hanzo expectantly who feels grateful that the other man just accepted and didn't try to argue with him about why Hanzo wasn't at fault. The archer nods his agreement, thinking on what he should say next, and settling for a comment about his health.

 

“I hope you are well soon.” McCree jerks his head a bit towards Angela who decided to ignore their conversation for privacy reasons, indicating that he's in good hands. Hanzo nods and abruptly leaves the infirmary, heart racing and making him need some time to himself once again. He wonders if he should use the training room or just go to his quarters and clean his bow and arrows for now. A quick stop by the training room to see some of the other members practicing makes Hanzo reason that his own room would be a better solution so he settles for that, thinking that his weapons could also use a bit of tweaking.

 

Whatever he can do to take his mind off of the man who was shot because of him.

\-----

McCree couldn't lie and say he wasn't surprised that he was visited by Hanzo of all people. It was actually quite a shock that the older man decided to actively seek out the gunslinger before he was free of Angela's care. From the way Hanzo had acted on the carrier, McCree thought that he hadn't cared or was too caught up in thinking about other things. He actually finds it quite refreshing to know he was wrong in a good way and that Hanzo had been concerned rather than annoyed, but McCree isn't so sure he likes the fact that the assassin is beating himself up over an easily fixed accident. He had noticed it in the way Hanzo was acting, reluctant to even look at McCree and almost looking like he was about to be scolded as he internally berated himself. McCree is wondering if he should go talk to Genji about it and see if he can't do anything to make Hanzo realize that he really has nothing to be sorry for. Maybe he should just go straight up to Hanzo and try to make amends, even if they already kind of did that, but it seemed that Hanzo was still upset about it even after McCree accepted the apology.

 

The cowboy thinks he should probably leave the situation alone for now and let Hanzo have his space. Then again, that's all he seems to be able to do is wait until the man comes around and stops pushing everyone away. McCree can't help but feel a little bit of pity even though he doesn't want to.

 

Yet he still finds himself at the training room, leg fully healed and focusing on shooting the robots and digital enemies. He started some time ago, after Angela made sure the wound had healed correctly with her help and that he would retain the use of his leg, so McCree figured that he might as well practice in order to pass the time. Most of those in the base have already visited him so the cowboy has time to himself that he figures he could use to keep something like today's mission from happening again. McCree doesn't want to end up being dead weight for his friends, and he certainly doesn't want anyone thinking they need to work harder and protect him, only to end up depressed when they fail (and everyone knows who McCree is thinking about pertaining to that certain situation). Being a burden for others definitely won't sit well with McCree's conscience so training to make sure he can take care of himself, maybe even return the favor once in awhile seems like the best option right now.

 

But even as he practices, McCree has to wonder about his recent luck on missions. First was him getting stranded across the sea after a run in with Reaper, and now he gets shot in the leg by Widowmaker, both missions causing McCree's teammates to worry about him. He's starting to think that some divine power has cursed him with bad luck and that the next mission McCree takes part in will end up with worse results. For all he knows, the man could end up paralyzed because he fell off of a building, or maybe he'll be captured and tortured for information by Talon. The possibilities are near endless and McCree hopes none of them come true because the last thing he wants is to be taken from Overwatch this early in the game after the recall (even if he isn't a spring chicken, he still has more than enough fight left in him). It just means McCree will have to be more vigilant and aware of his surroundings to keep any of those unwanted possibilities from occurring (but knowing him, McCree will screw up and really be paralyzed from an unlucky fall).

 

He may need to be more aware of his surroundings, but that doesn't mean he'll ever be able to know when Genji stealthily sneaks into the same room as him. Just as he goes to turn and shoot any enemies behind him, McCree's gun points at a familiar metal faceplate and the gunslinger yelps (in the most manly way, he'll have you know) while he stumbles back just a bit. McCree corrects himself seconds later, trying and likely failing to look like the ninja popping up out of nowhere didn't affect him in the slightest. But Genji knows all too well that McCree is easily startled by him suddenly appearing, so he can't stop the small chuckle that filters out, making McCree glare at the other man from behind the brim of his hat. He tells Athena to stop the training session for now and focuses on the cyborg in front of him.

 

“Real funny. I swear, it's like yer tryin’ ta give me a heart attack.” Genji shakes his head but McCree knows he's smiling behind the mask.

 

“That was never my intention, but it is amusing to see you react in such a way.” McCree scoffs, adjusting his hat if only to hide the embarrassment now clear on his face just a little.

 

“Hilarious. Tell me, did’ja ever get Hanzo with that little stunt?” The response is immediate as Genji subtly shakes his head.

 

“Never. He always knew I was there.” McCree grumbles at the new information and figures he should stop digging his own grave even further into the ground. He might try and jump in at this rate.

 

“So ta what do I owe that yer aggravatin’ ass decided ta sneak up on me?” Genji shrugs and nonchalantly looks around the digital area McCree was using for practice as he speaks.

 

“Is it wrong to want to make sure my friend is alright? I had not been able to visit you in the infirmary so I came to find you. So I will now ask: how are you doing?” McCree smiles and sticks out his leg a bit to show that no harm was done from the mission.

 

“Angela patched me up and gave me the okay ta continue participatin’ on missions. If I was still injured then do ya think I’d be allowed outta bed?” Genji laughs and shakes his head in reply.

 

“No, I do not believe so. Angela would tie you to the bed if she thought it necessary.” McCree nods, remembering a few times she actually did tie him down because he wanted to go back out into the field instead of sit on a bed and wait for his wounds to feel better. He's also not sure, but McCree thinks that she used anesthesia on him a few times just to make the man lay in bed for a while and stop trying to leave. McCree basically put the doctor up there with Ana when it came to needles being put to use simply for convenience.

 

“I learned my lesson though. Even came up with a new motto ta live by whenever I find myself needin’ ta be taken care of by the good doctor.” McCree smiles wide and gives a dramatic pause before looking right at Genji who seems to be eagerly awaiting the reveal.

 

“If she ain't done, don't try ta run.” It only took a few seconds before Genji began a fit of laughter, clutching at his sides and nearly doubling over. McCree smiled in triumph at getting the other man to laugh so much and waited patiently until Genji calmed down, a few stray laughs being let out as he stood straight once again.

 

“Only you would come up with something so bizarre as that. But it does have a ring of truth to it so your so-called motto isn't so bad. Strange, but not bad.” McCree shrugged, proud that he could make his friend laugh and raise his spirits with humorous wisdom, even if he didn't need it. Genji took a deep breath as he finally managed to stop laughing altogether.

 

“That was nice. I did not think I could become even happier, but I am elated to be proven wrong.” McCree perked up at that, figuring that as long as their conversation had been going, and that it might continue for quite some time, he pulled out a cigar to chew on as he questioned Genji.

 

“Oh really? And what was it that made ya so happy before my little piece of wisdom?” Genji shuddered like he was going to laugh again from the sheer mention of the ‘motto’, but quickly collected himself and gave McCree an answer.

 

“Zenyatta will be coming back tomorrow, and I have been looking forward to meditating with him. If I was lucky, then maybe Hanzo would be willing to join us, if only for a short while.” McCree bit down on the butt of his cigar as he thought about it, shaking his head when he realized that the little hope Genji has concerning his brother joining their meditation might very well be dashed rather quickly. It wasn't like McCree knew if Hanzo meditated or not (since he's never really seen the man opting to meditate over staring into space), he just knows what a clear mind can do to a man with demons clinging to every part of his psyche. The short answer: nothing good. Not to mention that Genji had someone to guide him right after the whole ordeal took place while Hanzo has been drowning in anger and depression for close to ten years, maybe longer if you count what he apparently went through with their family. And if McCree had to guess, Hanzo would sooner run from the invitation than accept it. He knows Genji is also aware of that little tidbit of information concerning the archer, but he doesn't really want to crush Genji's hope after raising his spirits. So he settles for some encouraging words that won't really mean anything in the end.

 

“If ya try then maybe you'll get lucky and he'll join y'all.” Genji seems to be silently staring at him, as if he's aware that McCree's words hold empty promises that the elder Shimada will be willing to meditate with his brother and the omnic monk. But instead of pushing aside the lies like he should, McCree can't help but feel guilty when the cyborg grabs them like a lifeline.

 

“Maybe he will.” The older man is all to aware of the drop in the atmosphere of the room, realizing that he still ended up hurting Genji a little when he was trying to avoid that. The curse of being Jesse McCree, if he had to guess. Not wanting to wallow in the sour mood any longer, McCree holds up the gun he was training with and smiles slightly towards his friend.

 

“Feel like trainin’ with me since yer here? We still got plenty of time before Zenyatta comes back.” Genji seems to perk up at the idea, if just a little, and goes to grab the specially designed sword situated with the other weapons all settled on one side of the room. McCree smiles bigger and puts away the unlit cigar for later as he waits, Genji returning fairly quickly and taking his stance beside the other man. McCree tells Athena to start up the simulations and robots once again, gun aimed at one of the robots about to be reactivated.

 

In his opinion, this is the only way to truly take your mind off of everything. And both of them could use a good distraction.

\-----

Hanzo has probably cleaned the same arrow for a good thirty minutes as his mind wandered. In truth, this was not the outcome he was hoping for. The man never cleaned his weapons so his mind could wander, it was always so he had something to occupy his constantly working brain. However, unlike every other time he cleaned his bow and arrows, his mind decided to branch off and act independently of his body. Hanzo wonders if he's done the same thing so much that it actually can't occupy his brain anymore and has become a sort of routine.

 

The only thing he can actually feel grateful for is the fact that his mind didn't immediately decide to remind him of every single mistake he ever made. Instead, the topic of focus for Hanzo’s thoughts were the cowboy he had watched get shot then visited afterwards earlier in the day. He had said sorry because he truly was upset about the ordeal, yet Hanzo still feels guilty for what transpired. The man can't help but wonder what he can do to truly fix his mistake and finally feel like he's redeemed himself for the injury to McCree (because he can't do the same for Genji, no amount of time or anything he does could ever let him reach redemption concerning his only brother). Not only that, but Hanzo wants to berate himself for the harsh judgement he gave McCree when he first saw him. In all fairness, it wasn't right for Hanzo to do such a thing to McCree and judge the man based on how he dressed and what little words were passed between them. Hanzo first thought he was playing hero and wasn't taking the fighting seriously because to his knowledge, no one who fought with a purpose wore such an outdated outfit. Courtesy of Genji when they were children, Hanzo had been subjected to grand tales of cowboys that had shootouts between those who stood for justice and tried to protect people fighting against thieves and outlaws. Overdramatic tripe is what he considered it, and the archer wrongfully thought McCree was the same way.

 

Hanzo had thought he would know better than to misjudge someone at a first meeting, but it seems he still has not rid himself of the arrogance ingrained into him by the clan. The ever present reminder that he had to be better than those around him and would one day stand at the top of one of the most powerful families in all of Japan. For so long, Hanzo thought he was so close to the top of everything and nothing could change that. How ironic that he was doomed to fall by his own hands. Yet even after Hanzo's personal downfall, some of the emotionally controlling pieces that were drilled into him as a child remained, and he ended up acting like a fool towards someone who hadn't been outright hostile towards him.

 

But Hanzo does know that in the beginning, McCree had been wary of him. He knew how to read people, and the other man had made it obvious that he was still deciding how he should act around Genji's elder brother, the killer who chose silver words over true family. Hanzo didn't blame the man, certainly not because other members were also indecisive, but he thought that was better since he hadn't wanted to bother with McCree or anyone else in the first place. A part of him figured it was only a matter of time before either of them would be put into a situation that required interaction expanding past covering for the other from a distance and exchanging a few words. He just hadn't been prepared to be shown how wrong his initial judgement of McCree was on their mission together, and Hanzo wants to come up with some way he can apologize to the other man who has most likely never known of Hanzo's thoughts concerning him.

 

To start off, the assassin thinks he could try to be friendlier towards his teammate and not be so cold (but he hasn't bothered getting to know anyone since the incident so Hanzo isn't really sure how he should act around McCree). Another thing he could do is join the man for drinks or maybe bring him a few bottles of that American alcohol he enjoys so much (some that Hanzo once sampled and found it burned his throat far too much for his liking). One thing he definitely wants to do for McCree is watch his back better out in the field so they don't have a repeat of today's mission. The problem is, Hanzo knows that if he focuses too much on one person then that gives the enemy a chance to take out someone he doesn't have his attention on. He would just have to watch the man enough that he can still look out for the other member's well-being if he needs to.

 

And after so long of having his mind focused on McCree, Hanzo realizes that it has become close to two in the morning, the small digital clock sitting on one of the dressers a glowing reminder that he has stayed up well past the time he should. The man doesn't really want to sleep even though he's cleaned every piece of his bow and arrows and it's now too late to practice in the training room, but he knows that he should. Hanzo has barely gotten any sleep whatsoever this entire week, trying and failing that day he and McCree were picked up and brought back to the base as memories and nightmares plagued his conscience. He had managed to accumulate a total of forty minutes of restless sleep before bolting upright in the bed. But Hanzo thinks he could try one more time to sleep for the night and get a decent amount of rest. Any longer and he could very well end up toppling off of a building on their next mission because he was too tired to keep his eyes open and body upright.

 

So Hanzo prepares for bed, putting away his weapon and changing into something sleep worthy. His legs come off and are placed on the wall next to the bed before he settles under the covers, eyes closing and mind still thinking of McCree because he truly is that concerned about it.

 

And even though he won't think anything of it, Hanzo's sleep is quiet and uneventful the entire night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is something finally happening?!
> 
> Or maybe I'm being a dick and giving people false hope. Who knows?


	10. All Fun and Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The games can be fun, the stars can be beautiful, but certain things will always be painful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten... TEN. I don't know how I managed to write this much but I did.
> 
> And watch out for this chapter because it gets sad.

Genji had awoken early in the morning, eagerly awaiting the arrival of his master. The omnic wasn't actually due to arrive until some time after twelve, so the ninja tried to occupy himself with a brief session of meditation and training, even going so far as to spend some time with the younger members in the recreation room. He sat with them, watching as they played against each other in various games and even participated in a few, all the while watching the time so he didn't miss Zenyatta landing. Just a little after two, Genji left the room (after successfully beating Lucio at an old retro game) and was quickly at the hangar, watching as the carrier descended and landed quite a distance from him. He smiled when Zenyatta floated off of the carrier after it opened and he greeted his master with a low bow.

 

“Greetings master. I trust you are in good health?” The monk chuckled softly and gave his own small bow in greeting to his student.

 

“Greetings Genji. I am as ‘healthy’ as one such as myself can be. I trust you are the same?” The cyborg nodded and Zenyatta swore that if others were not with them in the hangar, Genji would be bouncing in joy at the omnic coming back to the base. They left together, talking the entire time they walked about nothing in particular. Genji contributed to most of the conversation, informing Zenyatta about what had transpired the last few days he wasn't at the base, most of it involving a cowboy and an archer who managed to get stranded across the ocean and required saving, then how one of them got shot just two days after coming back. Zenyatta listened the entire time, giving his thoughts every now and then with a few small laughs.

 

“It is as if Jesse has become a magnet. Not only does he attract trouble, but it appears that applies to bullets as well.” Zenyatta hummed in thought before he decided to speak in reply to Genji's metaphor.

 

“He does seem to attract many unpleasant things. I recall once telling him that much of what he does could very well end with him walking among those in the afterlife. His response was ‘I am not worried because I have the devil's own luck’. I still fail to see why my words warranted a lesson about religion.” Genji chuckled and shook his head.

 

“No master. Jesse meant that he is just very lucky. It was a western saying.” Zenyatta gave a noise of understanding and for once, both delved into silence as they walked the halls before Genji remembered what he had wanted to ask the monk.

 

“Master, I was wondering if it would be alright for Hanzo to join us in meditation. I was going to ask if he wanted to participate, but I wanted your thoughts on it first.” Zenyatta lowered his head and remained quiet as he contemplated his answer.

 

“I would not mind at all if he joined us. My only concern is that he would not want to. Your brother does not seem like the type to clear his mind, but instead occupy it with various tasks. But I also believe that this was not the case in your youth, correct?” Genji nodded slowly, aware that Hanzo had changed drastically after their feud. He remembered that his brother used to meditate every chance he got, but absolutely refuses to do so now. Hanzo would rather train or read than even attempt any form of meditation, something Genji knows has to do with what happened between them and the clan. But the ninja also knows that his brother has become more relaxed over the last few days, if only just a little, can see it in the way his shoulders have dropped with eased tension and how his scowl has lessened just slightly. Genji thinks he might have a hunch as to why, but he doesn't want to venture too far into it if he ends up wrong.

 

“That was one of the few things my brother did. I am hoping that he can overcome his inner turmoil and enjoy meditating once again. I will not force him, but I believe a push will do him good.” Zenyatta agrees with the man and just as they're reaching the dining hall in hopes that they'll maybe find Hanzo enjoying some tea or food, the assassin walks through the door with McCree following behind him and talking animatedly. Genji thinks he hears something about training and arrows before they all stop, staring at one another and letting silence overtake the hall. McCree looks worriedly between all of them as Hanzo appears upset while the other two are seemingly calm and unperturbed. Genji knows it's now or never that he asks, but he doesn't move closer in order to make Hanzo feel more comfortable.

 

“Anija, I was wondering if you would like to join Zenyatta and I for a session. Strictly if you want to of course.” He refrained from using the word master, all too aware of how Hanzo seems to flinch whenever he calls the omnic as such, but the other man still manages a small wince at being called anija. Hanzo looks like he wants to reject the invitation, which he does, glancing over at McCree who's watching the exchange with the tiniest bit of curiosity.

 

“I told McCree I would train with him. I have to... repay him for something.” Genji can think of two meanings those words hold (one having to do with the stab wound with an arrow, the other the immense guilt Hanzo held about the mission where McCree was injured, because he's just that perceptive), but he doesn't say anything about it and nods his head in understanding.

 

“I see. Perhaps another time then.” McCree still hasn't said anything, but he gives both Genji and Zenyatta a parting nod, still standing by Hanzo who hasn't moved. Genji walks by his brother, unable to tell whether he's grateful or concerned that the ninja hadn't asked the implication behind his words. He doesn't give Hanzo a chance to ask and begins the short walk towards the room he and Zenyatta use to meditate in. The other members tried to clean it up as best they could at the beginning of the recall, which both were grateful for and used the room as much as they could to show their appreciation. It didn't look like much at first, especially after the little bit of debris had been cleared and the dust was taken care of, but they made it work by placing pieces of color here and there consisting of small flowers and items meant to help with meditation and relieve stress. Zenyatta was very pleased with the space provided for them and insisted he do something for the others as thanks. Despite how much they protested that he didn't need to, most of them caved and let the monk help with whatever task was available at the time. Once inside the room, Genji grabbed some incense sticks and lit them, smoke smelling of lilac floating to the ceiling. The both of them went to the middle of the room and began the session, Zenyatta floating and orbs starting to glow while Genji sat next to him and evened his breathing. Minutes of silence began to tick by as they meditated, and soon half an hour had passed. Genji was prepared to stay that way for another thirty minutes, just listening to the soft dinging of Zenyatta’s orbs when they suddenly stopped. His eyes opened and he looked at the monk who had stopped meditating, head now turned towards his student who waited patiently to be spoken to.

 

“I have been wondering since I arrived, but it appears as though your brother has become… relaxed to some extent.” Genji perks up at that, realizing that he hadn't actually been wrong in thinking that Hanzo seemed to be doing better. Even his master noticed, something Genji smiles at and nods his head.

 

“I have thought the same, but I'm afraid I do not know why. Or rather, I do not know if I am correct in my assumption. Hanzo has not had many reasons to be at ease during this entire week, but it has happened all the same. Do you perhaps know the reason?” Asked with the utmost respect, to which Zenyatta wishes he could answer with conviction, but as Genji said, he isn't sure if the idea he has come up with is correct. Zenyatta shakes his head and turns his gaze to the smoking incense sticks.

 

“I am sorry to say that I am no more knowledgeable than you are regarding Hanzo. He does not seem to want me close, not since we first met.” Genji flinched at the memory, of wanting to introduce his master to his brother in hopes that Zenyatta could help the other Shimada, only to feel like he did something wrong when Hanzo stormed off. It was nothing Genji said, but Zenyatta who had pointed out that Hanzo held so much anger and regret over what happened. He watched his brother become both irate and guilty at the mention of their dispute. He walked away without another word and had become wary of the omnic’s presence ever since. Genji had felt guilty because at the time, he hadn't considered what introducing Zenyatta to his brother would do, and in the end, it ended up as another reminder of what Hanzo had done to him.

 

“Perhaps it has to do with McCree.” Genji forcefully pushes away the memory and focuses on what Zenyatta says at that moment, happy to know that he wasn't the only one who thought that McCree might have something to do with Hanzo's slightly relaxed state. He did notice that it only started after they were retrieved from the boat and given the day to rest, how Hanzo was around McCree more and somewhat willing to hold a conversation with the man, not to mention train with him. In his opinion, the two have become close to the concept of friends, the very thing Genji was hoping would happen. He had wanted them to get along and put aside the feelings that stemmed from what happened to Genji (which was not their intended outcome when the two first met each other, much to the cyborg’s dismay), and that finally seems to be happening. A result that makes him rather elated.

 

“I had thought the same. Ever since their overseas mission, Hanzo appears to be interacting with Jesse much more than before. I just hope it stays that way.” Because if Genji knew one thing about Hanzo, it's that he was a runner and preferred to avoid conflict (something he has firsthand experience with given how many times his brother avoided being alone with him for too long), so it's likely Hanzo would go back to never speaking with the gunslinger ever again if something bad threatened their growing relationship. But Genji spent too long hoping and pushing his brother, so he's not about to let anything jeopardize a chance for the other Shimada to be even a little happy.

\-----

McCree was grateful that the training was going so much better than last time, considering he hadn't been stabbed with an arrow just yet. He knew better than to repeat accidents, and after hearing the story from Genji about why he was stabbed, McCree has managed to not have an arrow jammed into his side. Surprisingly, he also hasn't lost the match so far. The situation couldn't be better in his book, because in the end, he knows Hanzo is going to triumph over him. He's seen the man fight, knows he was trained by some of the best teachers, so it's unlikely McCree will manage a victory over the other. He's holding his own though, lasting close to fifty minutes against the other man who has taken to popping his head up every now and then to keep an eye on McCree's position through the windows. He kind of wants to laugh because it reminds him so much of a gopher suddenly coming out of its hole.

 

He probably focuses on the thought for too long because the next thing he knows, a blunted arrow has hit his armor right on the chest and falls to the ground with a soft clank. Athena informs them that McCree has been taken out and that Hanzo is triumphant in their sparring match. McCree huffed just as the other man lands in front of him, smirking like the outcome was inevitable (which it was, but that doesn't mean he has to rub it in). McCree wants to be a little bit angry at the look, but seeing Hanzo look so relaxed, bordering on friendly for once, the gunslinger can't help but smile at his defeat.

 

“Ya got me partner. Can't say I'm surprised though.” Hanzo gives his own huff at the words and looks over the bow provided to him by Overwatch that was meant for training purposes only.

 

“You give yourself too little credit. Had I not already known your style of fighting then you might have beaten me.” McCree can't help himself, and as dramatically as he can, his right hand goes to rest on his forehead while the other grips at his chest, the same area where he was hit with the arrow.

 

“What's this? A compliment from our very own Hanzo Shimada? Call Angela ‘cause I think I'm havin’ hallucinations.” He doesn't really receive a laugh, not a big one like he was hoping, but Hanzo does release a fast breath that could count for an attempt at a laugh, accompanied with a small shake of his head.

 

“You are ridiculous.” McCree just smiles and shrugs as they go to put away the training weapons and grab their usual ones meant for actual combat. They try to decide what to do next, knowing it's too early to try and eat dinner and also carrying the knowledge that they don't have a mission tomorrow. McCree wants to continue spending some time with the other man, wondering if he could get a full on laugh or at least a smile that wasn't because Hanzo took satisfaction in knowing he was superior in fighting. But McCree is also thinking about suggesting that Hanzo accepts Genji's offer for meditation since he's sure the monk and the ninja are still in their session. However, McCree doesn't want to upset this almost laidback Hanzo whose frown has nearly melted away. But as previously stated, they have no ideas on what to do next.

 

McCree is about to give up when Lena comes flying down the hall and stops in front of the two with a wide smile, apparently holding a solution to their dilemma.

 

“Heya luvs! Got a proposition for you both.” McCree smiles and places his hands on his hips, looking as relaxed as he can be despite how much he's afraid to hear what the girl has to say. A few times she asked McCree to do something, he wasn't too thrilled with the idea and was even less happy about what ended up as the final result. He just hopes this time will be more mellow (but this is Lena he's talking to, when has she ever been mellow).

 

“Well, lay it on us.” She seems to become happier at the words, and a quick glance towards Hanzo makes McCree smile just a little bigger as well. The man looks almost terrified at what the girl is going to say.

 

“Well, we're playing a game that can do team vs team battles, and we need two more people to even it all out. We managed to get Mei to be on one of the teams, and we were hoping to get a couple more players. So whatcha say boys?” McCree scratches his beard in contemplation, knowing he doesn't have anything better to do other than maybe have a smoke, so he shrugs and turns his head slightly to look at Hanzo.

 

“I ain't opposed ta a little game time. Hanzo?” Said man looks conflicted, like he wants to say no but also doesn't want to offend Lena by refusing and suggesting she ask Genji instead. In the end, he succumbs to both of their looks as he nods his head, Lena squealing with delight and motioning for them to follow her to the recreation room. When they get there, the game is ready to go with Hana, Lucio, and Mei sitting in front of the giant screen, arguing over who's going to be which color. When they notice the other three, Lucio and Mei greet them while Hana grins.

 

“Those two? Really? This'll be a piece of cake.” McCree scoffs and sits down on one of the couches, taking the controller Lucio holds out for him.

 

“Don't get cocky now little missy. I'll have ya know I've played my fair share of games growin’ up.” And from what he can tell, the game is a type of shooter where you have to pilot small aircrafts. He's totally got this. Meanwhile, Hanzo appears to be unsure if he should have accepted the invitation to join as he sits next to McCree, hesitantly taking the controller that Mei holds out for him. He looks it over with uncertainty and when he notices the cowboy watching him, frowns even more.

 

“I am not very good with games. The last time I played one was years ago at the arcade in Hanamura.” McCree chuckles and claps Hanzo on the shoulder a couple of times in reassurance.

 

“Don't worry ‘bout a thing. Not like ya have ta be great at games ta play them. ‘Sides, there's such a thing as beginner's luck.” Hana takes her turn to scoff and starts sorting out the teams once everyone is ready. The teams end up as Mei, Lena, and Hana against McCree, Lucio, and Hanzo, the blue airships against the green airships. Hana briefly explains the controls, McCree wanting to chuckle at Hanzo who carefully touches each button that's mentioned as if getting a feel for the controls in a way. The game starts and the trash talking begins as Lucio immediately takes out Mei who squeaks in surprise at the sudden death while McCree somehow manages to dodge Lena’s attacks as Hana focuses on Lucio. Hanzo doesn't seem to be doing much as his aircraft flies in circles on the screen, exploding when Mei considers him an easy target. The man grunts in annoyance and chases after her when he respawns, immediately dying when he flies right between Hana and Lucio who are still fighting each other. He growls this time and McCree starts to wonder what'll happen if Hanzo ends up enraged at the game because he couldn't get a single kill. He’s both surprised and happy to see Hanzo get a lucky shot on Lena, and shows he's proud by softly bumping Hanzo with his elbow. He gets a soft bump back and McCree almost shouts in triumph as he gets a kill on Hana (even though Lucio did most of the work at chipping off her health, but he considers it a team effort). By the end of the match, blue has won against green with eleven more kills and Hana sends McCree a very smug look.

 

“What was that about playing games before?” McCree waves her off with a quick motion of his hand, only managing to get a chuckle as a response, and they start the second match with different teams. They continue playing longer than they should, and it requires Fareeha to come stop their game long enough so they can eat a proper meal (and it ends up earning a disgruntled ‘yes mom’ from Hana who receives a glare in response). McCree knows that the game has officially ruined what little good mood Hanzo had as he scowls the entire walk to the dining hall, the gunslinger almost wanting to laugh at how much of a sore loser the archer can actually be. He once again bumps the other man with his elbow that earns the attention of Hanzo who gives him a questioning glance.

 

“Ya ain't gotta act like the world's endin’ ya know. We don't exactly have the same level of experience they got when it comes ta games.” Hanzo hums, all to aware of his lack of skill concerning video games thanks to the track record he has with matches against his brother. Genji always won whenever they battled each other at the arcade, the only way he would ever win against Hanzo, and Genji exploited that. So he was all too aware that he was going to lose and wouldn't be able to contribute too much to the team, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting. Another reason he wasn't a big fan of games, Hanzo knew he lacked much skill, and wasn't for being reminded as such.

 

“There is a reason I prefer combat to silly games.” McCree chuckled as they sat together at one of the tables, bringing up the display and choosing what to eat for that night's dinner. Both ate in silence when the food was ready, occasionally delving into small talk with McCree doing most of the talking with Hanzo joining in every now and then. When they started eating in silence once more, McCree took the chance to look around and see if he couldn't find Genji and Zenyatta. When he didn't see either of them, he wondered if they were still meditating or had already ate. He shoveled some mashed potatoes into his mouth before looking over at Hanzo who was keeping his attention on his food now that they weren't talking. McCree wondered if he should take a chance and after some thought, figured it wouldn't do him any good to just ignore things. He swallowed then began talking, not bothering to get Hanzo's attention because he knew the other man would hear him, had all the other times McCree started talking during their meal. He just might pretend to not have heard this time.

 

“Thinkin’ of meditatin’ with Genji the next time he offers?” He notices how Hanzo tenses just a little at the mention of his brother, but McCree won't point it out, or the fact that the man stopped mid-chew. He swallows, eyes staring at the rice currently being prodded with his chopsticks. Hanzo is quiet as he stares, and McCree briefly thinks that he won't get an answer. He doesn't know whether he's surprised or not that Hanzo does reply.

 

“I am unsure if I should. I was under the impression that those sessions were meant for Genji and Zenyatta alone.” McCree can't help but wonder if that's just some elaborate lie Hanzo has told himself or if he really got that impression, but even if it is, Genji wouldn't have asked Hanzo to join if that was the case and he knows the assassin is aware of that information. He just doesn't want to acknowledge it.

 

“Well, he did ask ya. And it seems like he wants ya ta join, if only for just a day. But he did say ya don't have ta.” Hanzo holds back a wince at that, knowing the meaning those words hold and that whenever someone says them to him, they're trying to make him comfortable. To someone else, it might be a friendly gesture, but for Hanzo, he only sees it as them treating him like something fragile. He knows why they do that, but it still annoys Hanzo all the same, and he wonders if he should accept the offer to join Genji and the monk for a session of meditation. But he knows that if he does, the end result will do more harm than good, and all it will do for Hanzo is remind him once again of his failures and mistakes. The man inhales sharply and glances at McCree who has taken another bite of his food. Hanzo knows that McCree is similar to him in some areas. Both have criminal backgrounds, both are highly trained and skilled warriors, they've lost limbs, killed so many that bodies cover their paths, and they suffer because of it. And Hanzo may have pointed it out before, but their difference is that a few of the bodies fallen behind him are from his family (and one of them decided he wouldn't be just another number, but a waking nightmare for the assassin even if that isn't his intention). Hanzo finds that McCree and him are so alike that maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a second opinion.

 

“Do you think I should accept, even if it would not help?” Hanzo is actually surprised he wants to know what McCree thinks about the situation, and it seems the other man shares that thought as he looks at the archer with wide eyes and a full mouth. He swallows audibly after some staring, eyes traveling to his plate for a moment before McCree looks back at Hanzo with some uncertainty (and that definitely isn't what Hanzo wanted to see right now).

 

“Well, I mean… do ya know for certain that it won't?” Hanzo blinks, trying to understand the implication behind McCree's words before his eyebrows come closer together and he gives the other man a hard stare.

 

“What exactly are you implying?” McCree shakes his head with a look that tells Hanzo he isn't trying to offend the Shimada, and that softens Hanzo's face, if just a little bit.

 

“Ain't implyin’ nuthin’, just askin’ if yer sure it won't help none. Ya wouldn't know now, but Genji said the same thing the first time Zenyatta offered him the option of meditatin’ instead of wallowin’ in anger. Now look at him.” Hanzo frowns at being told how his brother acted after Overwatch practically rescued him, but it's somewhat reassuring to know that because of Zenyatta, Genji is significantly better than when he had just been defeated by Hanzo (not killed apparently because then he wouldn't be walking around). But that's still a subject Hanzo loathes to think about, knowing that the monk was the one to pull his brother together and complete what Angela had tried so hard to repair after Hanzo destroyed it. Now the omnic wants to do the same thing for the other Shimada, at the request of Genji because he still thinks Hanzo can be redeemed, but the assassin can't seem to make them all realize that he's different. Genji was probably a simple case, nothing but anger and self-hatred for his new body. Hanzo has that and more, a package of negative emotions hidden inside a statue. There's no way a few sessions of meditation will ever be enough, and that's why Hanzo is so reluctant to try.

 

Yet everyone wants him to, and all Hanzo can do against them is grit his teeth and hope they give up or let himself give in.

 

Hanzo pulls himself out of his thoughts and looks over at McCree, his mouth once again full of food. He's not really watching Hanzo, but his gaze isn't fully on his food either, and the older man notices the other perk up when he sighs.

 

“I will give it some thought. I do not think I'm fully prepared just yet, but… I suppose it would not hurt to try.” It sounds like a lie to Hanzo's own ears because _when will he ever be ready_ (and it won't hurt to try, but it _will_ hurt during), but McCree accepts it nonetheless, something Hanzo is actually grateful for.

 

“Ain't nuthin’ wrong with that, partner. Nuthin’ at all.” And the cowboy leaves the conversation at that, figuring he's done enough in creating more of a storm for Hanzo pertaining to Genji, so he allows the silence to settle over them once more even though conversations are going on all around them. McCree knows it quite well, the moment where there's so much noise yet it's still so silent, and he thinks that Hanzo is no different. The one thing he can be grateful for is the fact that it isn't really an awkward silence, just more of a tense one that could be easily remedied with the right words. And McCree thinks he has them ready when the food is finished and his hand falls on the flask in his pocket, wondering if Hanzo would be opposed to a little late night drinking. They both could use a chance to relax after their talk, and without a mission looming over their heads, it wouldn't matter if they woke up hungover as all hell. So when the plates have been cleared and they leave the dining hall, McCree brings up the idea before Hanzo can run away to his room.

 

“Feel up for some late night drinkin’? The night sky looks real pretty from here. Even better when yer shitfaced.” Hanzo stares at him, probably confused by the word ‘shitfaced’, but nods all the same and they walk together out of the base and away from anyone inside who might want to ruin the night further. The air is somewhat chilly, not too much that Hanzo needs to pull up his other sleeve, but his body does give a couple short shivers up his spine in protest. McCree doesn't notice as his gaze lingers on the sky above them, the same thing he's been looking at since they stepped out of the watchpoint. After both are quite a ways away from the base, they sit in the grass and immediately go for the flask and gourd on their persons. McCree manages the first drink, a quick shot of whiskey that burns down his throat and settles in his stomach. His eyes are still on the sky above them, keeping his attention on the stars and letting the two have a moment of comfortable silence between them. He knows that if Hanzo wants to talk, he will, or if he wants McCree to talk about something then he'll let the man know in some way. For now, they just sit in silence as they drink while watching the stars, a welcome retreat to the week they've had to endure. It drags on for however long they sit there without speaking, long enough for McCree to start feeling a buzz as the alcohol works through his system. He does start wanting to get his mouth moving and talk, but some part of him still wants to enjoy the sky in silence with his companion who has also not said a word. McCree has to wonder if the other man has fallen asleep, and even though he doesn't want to take his eyes away from the brightness above them, the prospect of seeing a sleeping or nodding off Hanzo is too tempting (even if he's seen it before, but this would be the first time he would see it while they were so close to each other). So McCree looks over, a quick turn of his head, and is both pleased and almost disappointed to see the other man still fully awake and staring at the stars as well. McCree takes a moment to soak in the sight of moonlight coating Hanzo (the second time he's seen such a breathtaking thing) before his eyes move back to the sky.

 

“Told ya it was pretty here. Though in my opinion, it don't hold a candle ta when yer surrounded by nuthin’ but sand and heat.” He can't tell if Hanzo's acknowledged him or not, doesn't even hear a hum or grunt like he would normally get, and McCree thinks that may be the extent of that conversation. He's pleasantly surprised when it isn't just acknowledgment he gets, McCree also gets a request for a story.

 

“What do you mean by that? How are they different?” McCree smiles for a moment, thinking about how he can explain it to someone who's probably never experienced what it's like to be surrounded by barren soil only to look up and see something entirely different. But he has the help of alcohol working his brain and McCree's been told that he's a rather talkative drunk.

 

“Well here, ya already got scenery ta look at. Trees, grass, life in both animals and plants, but the desert ain't like that. Most of the life ya see out there belongs ta cacti and the occasional lizard. Nuthin’ but sand for miles with rocks every now and then. If ya see somethin’ new, most of the time it's a person or someone's herd. So when ya look up and see millions of tiny lights flickerin’ at ya, maybe even shootin’ across the sky like a bullet, it's a nice change. It adds life ta the desert that a few prickly plants can't.” If he had to be honest, McCree thought that was rather cheesy and a bit too poetic for him. But the look Hanzo has when he decides to glance back at the archer, eyes wide and mouth opened just enough to warrant the term ‘trying to catch flies’, he thinks it wasn't that bad at all. He'd say it again and again just to see that look once more on the otherwise stone-faced man next to him. Not only that, but McCree meant every word. What he didn't say was how calm he usually got when staring at the stars, whiskey in his gut or not. He can't count how many times the night sky was his go-to place for some peace and quiet, whether he was surrounded by people he knew or not. Because McCree knew one thing that others probably didn't unless they looked at the same sky he did for the same reasons: people can change very easily, but there are always going to be billions of stars shining above him like they did the day before, even if they aren't the same ones he saw yesterday. Stars don't change, they just disappear. That's something McCree can appreciate.

 

“What ‘bout yerself? Did the stars do anythin’ for ya back in Hanamura?” Call it the will of his whiskey, but McCree was rather curious to know just what Hanzo thought when also looking up and seeing so many faraway lights. Remembering his home may have been painful for the archer, something McCree doesn't really like so he normally doesn't bring it up, but he assumes that this moment will be like the train: a story for a story. And McCree gets just that when Hanzo regains his composure and looks back at the sky again, McCree noticing just a hint of sadness mixed in.

 

“I must admit, I have not looked at the stars often. I was always too busy to really notice them like I do now, but I always had fleeting moments where I would stare up at the sky and breathe. It helped at times, taking a moment to enjoy the sight above me, but it was never for long. My true place of serenity was in the garden of my home, where the sakura trees grew. Spring was when they were the most beautiful.” It was McCree's turn to stare, and even though he wasn't slack-jawed like Hanzo had been, he was still caught all the same. He sadly can't imagine it as he's never seen sakura trees in the Spring before, only caught glimpses of them on the few and brief assignments he went to Japan, but to make Hanzo look that sad about it, they must be amazing to see. When McCree looks back at the stars yet again, thinking the conversation has ended, he hears words that he isn't sure are caused by the sake in Hanzo's gourd or not, but they feel painful all the same.

 

“I miss it... dearly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I did there?


	11. Two Dragons and the Crane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo wants to bring back an old hobby he once used to pass the time. He succeeds, but the only things he receives in return are past memories and a painful reminder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was largely inspired by Paper Flight which is a very enjoyable fic to read. I highly recommend it.
> 
> Also get ready for a Hanzo that isn't entirely a tsundere about everything.

Hanzo groans as consciousness comes back to him, pinching the bridge of his nose in order to stop the throbbing pain in his head. It only works just a bit, not enough for the man to be satisfied, and he wonders if he'll have to pay Angela a visit for some headache medicine. It isn't a trip Hanzo wants to make, but his tea might not be enough to curb his hangover. He's almost regretting taking McCree up on his offer for a late night drink under the stars, not only because of how he currently feels, but because he may have lost the iron grip he usually has on his emotions. Hanzo forgot that he had been out of the drinking game for so long, never really having the time to just leisurely drink himself into slumber between fighting off assassins and now doing missions for Overwatch. That's probably why he didn't stand a chance against the cowboy who drank alcohol like it's nothing but water nearly every day and ended up having to be walked back to his room by the man. Hanzo groans as he remembers the events of last night, listening with alcohol-induced intrigue to McCree's story and then letting himself get lost in some of his only good memories. And he told McCree all of it.

 

Hanzo sits up, shutting his eyes tightly when the headache flares before he's able to look over at the clock. It's well past the time he normally gets up, and he's also missed breakfast. He still has a little time left for lunch, and Hanzo mentally thanks Winston for giving them a free day since he's now going to use the rest of it to get over his hangover. But as he gets dressed, he has to wonder why no one came to check on him, thinking that maybe McCree informed everyone that he'll be sleeping in and that they shouldn't disturb the archer. That, or no one wanted to face a tired Hanzo who couldn't get enough sleep.

 

He'll stick with the hunch that McCree was the reason.

 

Sure enough, when Hanzo leaves his room and heads for the dining hall, probably looking much more annoyed than usual, those who are currently there greet him with looks that say they know. He tries not to roll his eyes, especially when he sees McCree waiting in the kitchen with his own cup of coffee and Hanzo's usual tea supplies set on the counter (how he even knows what Hanzo normally uses is beyond him, but he's aware McCree has seen him make tea before). The assassin decides to ignore the thoughtful gesture and just settles for starting on brewing the tea, not even acknowledging the nod that gets sent his way over the edge of the mug. It takes a moment before he's sure the gunslinger has realized he won't get a greeting of any kind and settles for talking instead, even if it is just mostly teasing comments.

 

“Rough mornin’?” Hanzo shoots the man a glare which in turn gets him a grin and a motion of surrender as McCree brings his hands up, one still holding the cup of coffee.

 

“No need ta look angry partner, just teasin’ is all. Really though, how ya feelin’?” Hanzo sighs and rubs at one of his temples as he feels the headache start to pulse yet again.

 

“Like I did on the ship we rode in order to get back to base. Only everything is stationary.” Something he's rather grateful for because the last thing he needs is to have a hangover on a moving platform of any kind. McCree chuckles next to him and takes a nice, long gulp of his almost gone coffee before replying.

 

“Well, Angela's got some medicine if ya need it. Might work better than that tea yer so fond of. But at least ya had a good time in the end, amiright?” Hanzo doesn't say anything right away, doesn't even look at the other man as his tea continues to brew, but he does manage a rather annoyed tone despite the pounding of his brain.

 

“If this is your idea of a good time, then I refuse to ever drink with you again. Half of the day has already come and gone, time that could have been used differently and effectively. Never. Again.” McCree doesn't seem at all surprised by the words, and instead shrugs as he downs the last of his coffee and washes out the mug.

 

“Ya say that now, but ya can't deny last night was anythin’ but relaxin’. ‘Sides, ya didn't do anythin’ stupid or embarrassin’ so it's all good.” Hanzo unfortunately can't deny the words, but before he even has a chance to berate the man any more, McCree is walking out of the kitchen with a wave of his hand as the extent of a goodbye. Hanzo growls to himself, letting his eyes slip shut in hopes that he can will what's left of the headache away so he can at least enjoy some part of this afternoon. It works just enough, and by the time Hanzo has made his tea, the headache is mostly gone and he enjoys his drink in silence, wondering if he should go ahead and have lunch or eat something akin to breakfast instead. Lunch wins it and Hanzo orders something from the computer, eating away from the few others still working on their meals who thankfully haven't tried to engage him in conversation, and he considers what he should do next. He doesn't think he should train after just overcoming his hangover, and Hanzo doesn't necessarily need to clean or tweak his weapon, so all that's left is to find something to do for a few hours until he's sure practicing won't aggravate his headache back into existence. One option Hanzo comes up with is practicing origami for a few hours, something he hasn't done in close to twenty-one years. He had taken to origami when his mother began to teach him, continuing to practice even after she was gone because he felt close to her whenever he made the small paper figures. His father had let him because he saw it as extra training for hand-eye coordination and focus. Hanzo had stopped when his other training and studies demanded more attention, and then after fleeing the clan, there was never another opportunity to pick it back up. Now though, it could just be the perfect thing to pass the time and make sure his headache doesn't come back with a vengeance.

 

He just has to find out where to get the paper first.

 

So Hanzo begins his search, wondering who would be the right person to ask about where he might find origami paper, and with a growing unease, realizes that Genji might be the only reasonable candidate who could have any possible knowledge on where he could get origami paper. His brother had also picked up the habit when Hanzo began teaching him (since Genji never really had a chance to learn from their mother), so there's a chance he would know. But it's likely Genji hasn't done any origami in more years than Hanzo, so (much to his delight) it's reasonable to assume his brother also wouldn't know anything. All Hanzo can think to do is ask Athena if she knows a place that might very well sell origami paper, and he makes his way to the control room (the same one that also happens to be connected to Winston’s lab). The walk there takes quite some time from Hanzo's perspective (mainly because he was walking rather slowly), but he arrives at the lab nonetheless and knocks on the doors. They open immediately and he steps inside to see Winston working on some machine (when isn't he, to be honest) who stops long enough to look up and see who has entered before smiling and going back to his tinkering.

 

“Is there anything you need, Hanzo?” It sounds far too courteous for someone focusing so hard on his work that Hanzo wonders briefly if he's intruding on the too kind scientist. But he knows he's not about to be turned away if he asks as such, so Hanzo settles for awkwardly standing by the doors and stealing glances towards the control room as he speaks.

 

“I was hoping to ask Athena for a favor. It is a rather… personal matter.” Winston looks up at that, most likely curious as to why Hanzo would be seeking advice on something _personal_ , but he nods anyway and goes back to his work. The archer then moves to walk up the stairs and into the room that holds Athena’s core and makes his way over to the computers, soon greeted by the AI.

 

“Hello agent Hanzo. Is there something I can help you with?” He nods, licking his suddenly dry lips as he remembers that it's a computer he's talking with, not a person (even if it's a rather advanced computer). He takes a deep breath then speaks.

 

“I was hoping you could tell me if there was somewhere nearby selling… a certain paper.” Athena speaks immediately, something that startles the man a little because everyone he has ever spoken to in the recent years took time. He has to remember that an AI doesn't need such a thing.

 

“I am to assume that the paper you seek can not be found already in the base?” Hanzo shakes his head, arms folding over his chest in order to give himself a bit of unconscious security.

 

“Not to my knowledge. Unless you know of someone here who happens to have origami paper on hand.” Hanzo silently prays that she won't tell him Genji has any that he could ask for, and he feels relief when that ends up to be the case.

 

“Indeed, no one here has such a thing. Would you like me to try and find somewhere close by that would hold that particular paper?” Hanzo confirms that he would appreciate the action and it isn't even ten seconds before Athena pulls up a few stores within the area that he could visit.

 

“I have counted three stores in total that could potentially carry what you seek. I suggest starting from the store closest to the base, just on the outskirts of town, as it is more likely to hold origami paper.” She shows him a map of where every store is located, and Hanzo takes a moment to memorize their location before thanking her for the assistance. But before he has a chance to leave so he can visit the stores and check, Athena stops him by suggesting he gets some money from Winston and a person to accompany him on the trip. Hanzo stiffly says he will do so, wondering who would even be willing to accompany him to buy _origami paper_. When his brother pops into mind, Hanzo frowns because he knows that's the most sensible and less embarrassing option. Another reason that quickly goes through his mind is so he can reintroduce Genji to origami because he thinks that the younger Shimada could be reminded of something good pertaining to their childhood.

 

So Hanzo does as such, getting the money from Winston who doesn't question why he needs it (which Hanzo is thankful for) and he goes to search for Genji. He doesn't have to look for long, thinking that his brother is most likely with the monk and meditating in the room the older man refuses to enter. He still doesn't, settling for knocking on the door and waiting until it opens. He proves to be correct when his brother answers, who also seems to be startled and confused as to why Hanzo is in front of him. But to Hanzo's pleasure, he simply ignores the fact that his elder brother is in front of the room he normally avoids, and instead asks about what Hanzo needs.

 

“Is something wrong, anija?” He sees the small flinch of Hanzo's shoulders (wondering when the day will come that his brother no longer flinches at the word) but ignores it as the man shakes his head.

 

“Nothing is wrong. It's just that… if you are free then I would…” Hanzo tries to find the right words until finally, he settles for pushing through his question since Genji seems to be rather curious about what he could possibly be asking for.

 

“Can you accompany me to town for a bit? There is something that I wish to buy.” He makes it sound as though the cyborg needs permission to leave the base, but Genji doesn't even bother turning to ask Zenyatta (Hanzo realizing he was also right about the omnic being with Genji) as he calmly accepts the invitation, not indicating to his brother that he's rather excited at the moment. Genji isn't really sure what this is, why his brother has come seeking him out and asking that they go somewhere together when he normally avoids the ninja like the plague, but he'll be damned before passing up this opportunity to spend a little time with Hanzo. He knows he can't exactly call this a step towards recovering their still torn relationship since it seems as though Hanzo didn't necessarily come to him willingly, but Genji thinks he can make it become as such. He's going to take the chance, making his decision and turning just slightly to look back at his master who hasn't moved since Hanzo arrived.

 

“I will be leaving for a short time master.” Zenyatta nods and gives a small wave.

 

“Have a safe journey.” Genji nods in return and the door softly closes behind him as they leave, walking in silence down the hallways, out of the base, and on the obscured dirt path through the woods that will take them to the town. Neither say anything for most of the trek through the woods, Genji spotting the occasional bird that seems to be chattering about the two strange beings walking through the forest. A few fly closer towards him and he almost wants to stop and feed the birds, but he can tell that the trees are beginning to thin in number as they reach the edge of the woods. Before they have a chance to fully emerge out of the forest and walk into the town full of people (a few omnics being seen here and there), he walks just a little closer to Hanzo who stares straight ahead.

 

“What is it that you wish to purchase here? Was it not at the base?” Hanzo minutely shakes his head, eyes flicking to the pouches on his obi that carry the money.

 

“You will have to see for yourself.” He hears Genji huff in playful annoyance behind him and Hanzo feels the corners of his lips twitch (because Genji did that same thing when they were younger, far too much for the assassin's liking, but the noise is still so _familiar_ ). No more questions are asked, Hanzo suspecting because Genji is just that curious, and they walk through the town in silence, ignoring the few stares that they receive in response to carrying their weapons out in the open (Hanzo deciding to cover his left arm for once since they aren't in any immediate danger). They reach the first shop fairly quickly, Hanzo unable to read the name but knows this is one of the shops Athena recommended to him. Genji looks between the sign and the windows, taking in the rather colorful designs of both the store and what's inside. When he finally puts it all together, Hanzo has already opened the door and is stepping inside, Genji close to behind. The idea he has turns out to be right as he looks at all of the colorful paper, pencils, markers, and other little knick-knacks that someone with a creative imagination would buy. So he has to wonder what his brother could possibly need to buy from a crafts store, watching as the older man scans the shelves, specifically looking at the different types of paper the store has to offer. Genji stands there for quite a while as he watches, taking in Hanzo's rather focused look until, finally, his brother grabs a box from one of the lower shelves. Genji steps just a little bit closer to see what it might be, and thinks that it's both uplifting yet saddening when he realizes it's a box full of origami paper. It’s been so long since the last time he practiced that Genji thinks it makes just a little bit of sense that he didn't figure out what Hanzo was going to buy right away. Now that he knows, Genji can't help the smile that spreads across his hidden face as he walks closer to stand a few feet away from Hanzo who looks up when the cyborg gets close enough.

 

“Now I see why we are here. I regret to say that I had forgotten about such a thing.” Hanzo looks back at the box, thumb gently rubbing over a picture of an origami cat on the front of the package as he nods his understanding. He ponders a moment, realizing that he has enough money to buy more than one box, and grabs three more. Genji now stares at the elder Shimada with curiosity and points at the extra boxes Hanzo just grabbed.

 

“Are you sure you need to buy that many? Surely you can not go through one box so quickly.” He remembers his brother was rather skilled when it came to origami and could quickly fold the paper with almost the same precision as he did when practicing his archery, but he suspects that Hanzo has not been making paper animals while fighting for his life. There is no reason for him to need so many, and he waits to see if Hanzo will provide an explanation. It takes him some time as he stares at the four packages in his hands, but he finally tells Genji why just as he turns to walk towards the cashier, so low and quick that the younger man almost doesn't hear it. But he does and smiles widely to himself.

 

“Two of them are for you.”

\-----

McCree had wondered why it had become rather difficult to find either Shimada after he decided to search for them. After a quick smoke, he was going to see if either of them wanted to spar or see if they couldn't work on any combination attacks. Hanzo wasn't really a big blip on his radar since McCree knew that the man could be very elusive and hard to find, but after being told by Zenyatta that Genji was also gone, he began to get suspicious. He started asking the agents in the base if they had seen either brother, getting shot down every time (a total of six times now) after each said they hadn't seen either Shimada. McCree was about to go see if Winston knew anything or if Athena had kept tabs of their whereabouts just as both brothers walked into the base, each carrying a plastic bag with Genji talking animatedly. To say he was stunned was an understatement because not only were the two Shimadas together, they seemed to be _enjoying_ themselves in the other's company. Not only that, but Hanzo seemed to be enjoying whatever it was Genji had started talking about.

 

Shaking himself from the initial shock, McCree walked over to the brothers and tried to look like he wasn't shocked to see them together with Hanzo not looking like he did something wrong every second.

 

“There ya both are. Was wonderin’ where the two of ya went, and now I see why I couldn't find y'all.” He points at the bags in their hands and Genji seems to become excited once he does, going for the contents and pulling out one of the boxes.

 

“We had gone to get origami paper. The base did not have any and Hanzo wanted to start practicing again.” McCree looks over at Hanzo who seems to be just a bit embarrassed at being called out for wanting to do origami, but the cowboy is more interested in finding out exactly what origami is.

 

“Care ta explain what that is exactly? I don't believe I've ever heard of it before.” Both brothers pause, wondering exactly how they can easily describe origami before Genji shrugs.

 

“Simply put, it's the art of folding paper.” McCree raises a single brow in question.

 

“Art? Ya mean like paintin’ and stuff?” Hanzo's bag rustles as he goes to cross his arms, giving McCree a pointed look that asks him how he reached that conclusion.

 

“Not exactly. If we are being truthful, it would be considered as more of a hobby than an art form.” McCree nods, thinking he gets the gist of what is being explained, but Genji doesn't end it there.

 

“Quite a lot of people know about origami, actually. I am rather surprised you do not.” McCree makes a face that suggests he's insulted (which he kind of is), but plays it off as another of Genji's jokes.

 

“Now my dear Genji, when have ya ever known me ta pick up on hobbies that don't include a gun, alcohol, or smokin’?” Genji seems to contemplate the question, head lowered just enough that he appears to be thinking, before he looks straight at McCree.

 

“You are actually right about that. Good. Then you can join us and try it for yourself.” Both McCree and Hanzo stare at Genji as though he suggested something rather insane, but Hanzo just barely shrugs his shoulders that could be interpreted as either acceptance or him relenting. McCree is the only one who seems to be reluctant to take to the idea.

 

“Do I gotta?” He flinches when Genji's head flicks a little to the side and McCree can swear he feels the stare from behind the mask drilling into him. It only takes a few seconds before the man relents and accepts the vague invitation to join their soon to be origami session. Genji nods his approval and they begin walking, McCree following them to the recreation room and taking a seat at one of the few small tables provided. He waits as both Shimadas join him, Genji deciding to open one of his own boxes of paper so they can get started. Once he successfully opens the package, the paper is spread out onto the table and all three take a piece. McCree takes a moment to look over the paper, noting that it feels somewhat delicate and small compared to normal, everyday paper. He feels like he might rip it if he grips the piece too hard and McCree looks up at the brothers who seem to be watching him stare at the paper. He clears his throat and waves it in the air a bit.

 

“Exactly what am I supposed ta do with it?” Genji takes that as his moment, scooting closer to the other man as he motions towards his piece.

 

“You are supposed to fold it into an animal. Watch what I do.” McCree does as he's told and keeps his eyes on Genji's hands, wondering how the cyborg can be so careful with something so delicate when he can't even feel the paper. McCree tries to take note of each fold (realizing that there are far too many for him to remember), and notices that the paper is beginning to take shape into something else. Finally, Genji is done and he pushes the finished piece towards McCree who tries to figure out what he's looking at.

 

“It's a… frog.” He feels confident in his assumption of what he's just witnessed be made out of paper, and Genji nodding confirms his guess.

 

“That is an origami frog. It is one of the easier ones to make compared to others, but maybe still a challenge to some. I am rather surprised I remembered how to make it.” McCree scoffs as he gently picks up the paper frog, muttering under his breath about how it only looks easy and some people can be so strange. Genji laughs and look towards Hanzo who has already made a simple dog out of the paper and has started on his second. Genji pays attention to the folds being made to see if he can't remember which origami animal is going to be the end result. It's only after Hanzo is halfway through that Genji realizes what his brother is making.

 

One of the many that Hanzo could make from memory without really looking at his hands.

 

“A dragon.” He says it so softly that Genji isn't even sure the words slipped past his lips, but the quick pause in Hanzo's hands and the glance towards the ninja tells him that they did. Hanzo nods his head as he goes back to folding the paper, now with both men watching him focus on the task. Hanzo ignores them for the most part, keeping all his attention on trying to remember which piece to fold and in what way. He's already made the head and tail, surprised he remembered most of the steps involved with the more difficult origami piece, and focuses on making the wings. He remembers that they were the most annoying part but Hanzo still tries, folding and folding until he's sure the wings are correct. He looks over the finished piece, noting that his long absence from practicing shows in all the small mistakes he's made. One of the wings is just a bit smaller than the other and both are more or less strange looking with how many folds he made trying to remember the steps. The tail is rather crumpled around the tip where he was trying to bend it back then forward again. The neck of the dragon is far too thin from how he remembers making it as a child. It's definitely far from perfect and looks nothing like it did when Hanzo made them when he was still growing up, but he's just happy he was able to do the dragon at all.

 

“That's what a dragon is supposed ta look like?” Hanzo looks up at the question and towards the man staring at his sorry excuse of what should be something he could practically do with his eyes closed, but as it's already been pointed out, Hanzo hasn't done origami in years. The elder Shimada nods and sets down the dragon, thankful that it can even stay upright before he grabs another paper from the pile. Genji does the same, focused on teaching the cowboy who seems to be having trouble concerning handling the paper delicately. Hanzo mostly focuses on his own folding, but his attention is now split between both himself and the gunslinger who keeps grunting in frustration. The archer never pegged McCree as someone who could be delicate if he wanted to, especially concerning paper that was meant for gentle fingers, so he's not surprised at how many times McCree rips the paper when he tries to make a fold. Genji is constantly chuckling at his attempts, but is still patient enough to try and help him each time. Hanzo has already made three other origami animals by the time McCree finally finishes one, and the assassin can feel his eyes widen just slightly at what Genji has taught McCree to make.

 

A crane, the first animal that both Hanzo and Genji learned by heart from their mother before she passed. Looking at the crane reminds him of the many days he spent mastering the specific origami animal, finally getting it perfect enough that he thought it was suitable to show their mother. He even remembers the story she told them, about how making a thousand could grant the person one wish. Hanzo had believed it for so long, that something so simple held so much power, but now that he's older, he isn't so sure anymore. Seeing McCree's crane and noticing all the flaws in every fold, he's now sure that such a thing couldn't possibly be true (but a little voice keeps telling him _you never tried so how do you know_ ). But he's surprised (pleasantly or annoyingly, he isn't sure) to know that Genji also remembers the story they were told when he starts telling it to McCree.

 

“There is actually a legend concerning origami cranes. It states that if you make one thousand, that a wish you have will be granted.” McCree understandably looks skeptical as he looks between Genji and his crane with narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow. His gaze settles on the crane and he stares at it as if waiting for it to speak and tell him the legend is true, but such a thing doesn't happen.

 

“Yer sayin’ a thousand of these little guys could grant a wish? Not gonna lie, that's kinda hard ta believe.” Genji nods his head and Hanzo catches it, the subtle turn of his brother’s head that tells him the cyborg's gaze has now shifted to the elder Shimada.

 

“I thought the same thing as well.” Hanzo swears he hears an accusation in Genji's voice at the words, a silent _and so did you_ that he can't really deny, so he looks away and wonders of he should do a crane of his own. He looks at the ones he's made so far, a dog, a dragon, one of his own frogs, a full-bodied cat, and a butterfly (with asymmetrical wings that greatly annoy Hanzo) and thinks that a crane wouldn't be so bad. So he takes another piece and begins his attempt, doing each fold from memory with the image of his mother practicing with him. He has practically tuned out his surroundings as he focuses on the same thing he did as a child with the same thought, making sure it looked perfect enough for his mother. By the time he's done, thinking that the crane will look just as atrocious as McCree's with far too many flaws, he's surprised when a perfectly symmetrical crane stares back at him, head held high and looking like it might actually fly from his hand. He looks up at the other two men sitting at the table, and suddenly wants to shrink away from their gazes. He can't tell what Genji is thinking, but McCree is both awed and annoyed as he stares at the crane.

 

“Why do I feel like I just got outclassed?” Hanzo shrugs as he folds his arms over his chest, trying to act like he didn't do anything wrong.

 

“It is not that you were outclassed, just that I already knew how to make the crane. Given time, yours will look… better.” He knows that McCree is aware of the many mistakes he has to work on concerning origami, but he still doesn't want to make it seem as though he's harshly criticizing the man's skill (no matter how subpar it is). Thankfully, the other man seems well aware of his lack of skill as he nods his head in a way that suggests McCree would practice making the crane when he has the time.

 

“Can't say yer wrong. Though I might need another demonstration if I'm gonna remember how ta do this.” Genji nods his head and grabs another piece of paper, carefully handling it as he shows McCree the steps once again. Hanzo now keeps his focus on his own origami animals, deciding to retry his hand at making the dragon. He goes just a little bit slower this time, making sure that he's made the correct folds and everything is symmetrically proportioned. When he's done with his second origami dragon, it looks much better than the first with a thicker neck and equal sized wings. Hanzo then notices the color he's made the dragon out of, and he can only stare at it and wonder if he grabbed the specific piece of paper unconsciously. His gaze then turns to look at his first dragon and he feels a small stab in his chest at realizing the representation they now both hold. As he sets the new dragon onto the table next to the previous one, he's not really sure if he should consider it ironic or not that he chose those specific colors.

 

His first origami dragon is blue, made with too many mistakes and looks absolutely pitiful. Its head is lower than the other dragon's, as if it has been shamed or has done wrong. He thinks it's fitting that the new dragon is green, head held high and fierce as though it wants to show off. The green dragon looks so much superior than its predecessor and it makes Hanzo think that the blue dragon has no place sitting next to the green dragon. He steals a glance towards Genji who doesn't seem to be the wiser about the specifically colored dragons as he continues teaching McCree, and it makes Hanzo look at his own crane. He takes in the color, noticing he made it out of a yellow piece, and some part of him thinks that it doesn't look right. So Hanzo grabs another piece of paper, this time conscious of the color he's chosen. He folds this crane with the same idea he held when making the first and it comes out the way he wanted with barely any differences from the previous crane besides the color. He sets it down next to the green dragon, frowning when it makes the blue dragon look that much more pathetic and ruined. Hanzo looks back towards the other two men who still haven't noticed how his mood has plummeted from a few origami animals (which he's thankful for), and the man thinks he's been practicing the old hobby long enough. He doesn't know exactly how much time has passed, but that doesn't matter as Hanzo stands without so much as a word. The other two men at the table are now looking his way, following his movements as he walks away and out of the room (without the boxes he bothered buying). McCree looks at Genji in worry, but the ninja doesn't hold his gaze long as he looks towards the new additions to his brother's origami animals, and he suddenly understands.

 

He takes it in, the two dragons and the crane, and knows why his brother walked away. Part of him wants to go after Hanzo like he usually does, but he knows that isn't what he should do right now. Instead, Genji grabs one of the few remaining blue pieces of origami paper, trying to remember exactly what folds he's supposed to make. It takes him far longer than he likes and by the time his dragon is complete, it looks even worse than Hanzo's first attempt. So Genji tries again, taking another blue piece and repeating the steps as McCree watches, now concerned for both brothers. He doesn't stop Genji though, just continues to watch as the cyborg goes through every blue piece of paper he has in the pile. When he finally uses the last piece of blue paper provided by the single box, he now has nine blue dragons placed in front of him that don't come close to the desired look he wanted. Each have their own flaws since Genji was never that skilled concerning the origami dragon (and the many years not spent practicing show in every one of them), and Genji looks over at what his brother made.

 

It makes him more determined, and Genji goes to open his second box, prepared to spend as long as it takes to make a blue dragon that can stand side-by-side with the green dragon and red crane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should've mentioned I'm a weirdo who enjoys symbolic shit and just generally fucking with characters in the smallest of ways.
> 
> Also tried doing a dragon myself and let me tell you, those wings will be the death of me.


	12. Food for Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo is most certainly not having the best of days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter may be pretty boring (might even be classified as filler), so just a heads up for the readers.
> 
> And I couldn't really think of a good chapter title so... That's what I put.

The jolt his body makes is no stranger and all too familiar, especially when it happens at such a late hour. His eyes are now wide with fear as he stares into a black abyss that he swears is looking right back and judging every part of him. His breathing is heavy from bloody memories and he thinks it makes sense that he had a nightmare considering the events of today… yesterday now that he looks at the clock. Never before did Hanzo think origami would be such a scary thing, but the rest of the day that he spent alone after the origami break he had with Genji and McCree was basically ruined. He could barely focus on training, arrows just barely hitting the robots, and the simulated enemies were getting far too many hits on him than he liked to admit. The more times he was hit, the more frustrated he got until Hanzo was too annoyed to practice anymore and he stormed out of the training room, never sparing a glance towards anyone who was there to witness his rise in anger, whoever had watched. He spent as much time as he could away from the others after that, only going to the dining hall when he knew it would be mostly empty (but he was still accosted by Reinhardt who had just gotten back from a mission with Torbjörn to get parts and was still wound up with energy). Dinner didn't go very well to say the least, and it appeared as though the rest of the night would be even worse.

 

What could be considered normal nightmares never bothered Hanzo. Dreams of unrealistic things such as giant spiders or zombies trying to eat him could be brushed off easily and never bother the man. Memories were what always got to him, moments of his past where he screwed up and the guilt became great enough that he thought it might eat him alive. Those are the nightmares that always leave him breathless and shaking, even in the warmest temperatures. Tonight was another one of those nights, much to Hanzo's dismay, as he remembered far too much for it to be considered healthy. He didn't dream of Genji (because he's always having nightmares about that moment, even when he's awake), but they still weren't the best of memories, and a few ended up overplayed or weren't how they actually happened. Hanzo can remember most of it, starting with how he had killed an assassin that had came for him when he left the grounds of the castle to go search for Genji. The memory became exaggerated as he slept, making him out to be the monster instead of someone trying to defend himself. He successfully stopped the assassin's attempts to take his life, but people saw and considered him to be the true evil and murderer. Blood covered nearly every inch of his clothes and skin, and even though Hanzo was used to the sight, he stared at his hands in horror as though the accusations from the civilians were true. So Hanzo ran from their hateful words and down the street, running into a store that led to a cold and dark space.

 

A prison cell from what he could tell, and the blood was now on the floor instead of him. The source was a man in chains who the archer remembered was from a rival family, a grunt. He was beaten and bruised, bloody and panting as though he couldn't get enough air into his pained lungs. Hanzo simply stood there and watched the interrogation, eyes never flinching away even when the man was brutally punched or kicked by members of his family. Part of him had thought it was such an appalling thing to witness, but the thing that kept him grounded to the spot was the single-minded thought that it was _necessary_. So he watched the man cough blood, choke on his own words because they were too painful to get past his swollen throat, and finally, Hanzo was handed a sword. The man was now deemed useless and it was up to the Shimada heir to end the life before him. He did so without question or hesitance, moving within striking range and bringing his sword down with a quick swipe to sever the man's head from his body. More blood brought even more color to the otherwise dull cell, and the strong smell of copper and iron made Hanzo want to throw up. He was then ushered out of the room in order to let the clean up begin, but what should have been the dungeons of his home became the ramen shop he frequented with Genji. His brother was already at one of the tables and eating, not bothering to look up as Hanzo sat across from him so he could order himself some food. It appeared, he began eating, and everything was normal for some time until the lights flickered. Quick moments of darkness that made the room darker each time until Hanzo witnessed his brother vanish and the other customers drop dead. Red was everywhere he looked and all Hanzo could do was think about how much destruction he brought with him.

 

And then he woke up, biting his lip so he didn't scream up at the ceiling and demand to know why he had to be reminded of the times he took lives and when lives were taken because of him. Hanzo sighed as he sat up, clenching his hands into fists to try and stop the trembling. He could feel his eyes burning from how long he kept them open, not wanting to close them for even a second and see the dream replay on the backs of his eyelids. Hanzo thinks he should at least be a little grateful his legs aren't acting up tonight, reminding him that he's not whole when he should be, and he looks over at the clock again to actually take in the time. Just a little after three in the morning, and Hanzo sighs again as he rubs at his eyes. His should have expected this, realizing he hasn't had a nightmare in two nights, so it makes sense. Hanzo hadn't even noticed the first night he had a dreamless sleep, and he was thankfully too drunk for his nightmares to even attempt a comeback the next night. It makes perfect sense for him to have one tonight, and for it to leave him wondering if he should try to sleep for a second time or just sit on his bed until the hour he usually gets up to prepare for the day. The dilemma he's always faced with, and Hanzo decides to just continue laying on his bed, staring at the wall. He already knows he won't be able to get anymore sleep tonight, and he has no desire to try either. His only option is to wait until the rest of the members wake up and he has to leave for a briefing from Winston.

 

The wait is uneventful like always whenever Hanzo chooses to stay awake, and he doesn't bother moving, mimicking what he did at the motel with McCree. He waits for hours, occasionally shifting when a muscle starts to become sore or cramped from the lack of use, until the clock read just past seven in the morning. Hanzo decides he should get dressed, changing out of one of the few sets of jinbei he owned (compliments of Athena who ordered them after Winston found out he had no sleepwear) and into his usual clothing, prosthetics carefully locked into place once his hakama had been slipped over the remainder of his legs. He lets out a soft hiss when the nerves connect, waiting a few seconds for the pain to subside before standing and heading for the conjoined bathroom to take care of a few things. When he's done, Hanzo gathers his weapons and leaves the room. The walk to the dining hall doesn't offer him anything his room didn't, just more silence with no one there to talk with. The actual eating area is entirely different in the sense that Jack and Ana are already at their respective tables, the old sniper offering a greeting that Jack doesn't bother with (not that Hanzo expected anything from the other man). Hanzo nods his head back in greeting to Ana's and immediately goes to brew himself some tea in the kitchen. He knows morning training is out of the question because of the briefing, so he's resigned to sip at his tea for another hour or two after eating.

 

Once the tea is made and he sits at his own table, he orders, eats, and waits again. By the time he's finished, more agents have filled the dining hall, including his brother and the monk. Hanzo never really understood why either bothered coming to the cafeteria since neither can eat (even though one of them could years ago), but he thinks it's so they can have a chance to interact with everyone else. He should be right in his assumption since both are sitting at a table and seem to be deep in conversation with Angela, Lucio, and Lena (Hana most likely still asleep, just like McCree because neither have shown up yet), so he lets it be. He just continues to sit alone (as alone as he can get in a dining hall full of energetic and talkative people) before he figures it's time he leaves for the briefing. His plates are cleared away, cup rinsed out, and he leaves without so much as a goodbye to anyone.

 

_One of those days it seems._

\-----

The mission he was given was more reconnaissance, only instead of following Talon members who were going to illegally buy guns, they were going to watch over a secluded and private facility that held expensive tech. Winston had noticed a report of suspicious activity in the area and had done research to narrow down the possibilities of what to expect. At the moment, their mission was to keep the tech safe and out of enemy hands. Hanzo would be on the mission, along with Fareeha and Jack. They would be leaving for London soon, a flight that would usually take a couple of hours now cut to just below one thanks to the carriers. The three picked for the mission headed for the hangers after the briefing was over, a few other members waiting for them alongside the carrier so they could say their goodbyes and give luck. Ana was there for her daughter and Jack, same as Angela who seemed to be scolding the man from what Hanzo could tell. He couldn't really hear the conversation since he was being spoken to as well, McCree and Genji deciding they wanted to see him off since they wouldn't be with him. Hanzo didn't really see the point at being told to be careful, but he went along with it, saying nothing else when McCree gave him a look that said he knew the assassin wasn't being sincere when he replied with a flat ‘I will’. Genji was the one to tell him good luck, to which the elder Shimada scoffed at and looked away. When he was finally allowed to board, the other agents that would be his teammates were waiting for him on the carrier, Jack holding an impatient posture as he kept his gaze towards where Hanzo was standing (probably at the man himself) as Fareeha waved goodbye to McCree.

 

Like his entire morning, the ride was dull despite the occasional jolt of the plane. No one onboard spoke, not that Hanzo suspected they would or wanted to in the first place, so they sat in silence as the carrier flew to their destination. The archer watched the scenery change as he stared out of the window, seeing land then water then land again. When the carrier finally arrived at London, it let off the agents some yards away from the facility and onto the top of a building since flying over and landing at the objective would alert more than just their enemies. After the carrier flew away to find a closer but secluded area, Winston's voice spoke over their communicators.

 

“The building housing the tech should be North of you. Find somewhere safe and unnoticeable, and report to me if you spot anyone that doesn't look like they belong in the area. You're free to buy food and stay at a hotel of you wish, but keep an eye on the objective. Stay safe.” The line cut off and Jack immediately turned towards his teammates to begin giving orders and going over the plan. It was decided that Hanzo would scout ahead to find a building they could use to keep an eye on the facility while Fareeha and Jack looked around the area for hotels and restaurants. The other two nodded and they split off from one another after Jack said a quick ‘report anything suspicious’. Hanzo didn't give the man any further confirmation that he heard the order as he jumped the gaps between the rooftops, heading towards the facility that he would he able to recognize thanks to Winston. He found it within ten minutes and began checking every surrounding building to see which would be best suited for use as a vantage point and decent cover if they were found. Another eight minutes were spent of Hanzo inspecting all of the ones he found nearby until luck led him to an old apartment complex that had run out of business. It was six stories tall, sturdy, and best of all, housed no civilians. Clicking on the communicator, he took one last look around the room he was currently in before going over to the window.

 

“I have secured a building. Approximately one mile from the objective with a clear view. No other inhabitants.” He hears a grunt on the other end, no doubt Jack, before he hears an answer.

 

“Good. Found a hotel not far from you, cheap enough for us to afford one night if we need to use it. Pharah?” The line is quiet for a few seconds but Fareeha’s voice soon filters through the communicator.

 

“Unless anyone's opposed to French then I have also secured us a restaurant.” No one spoke against the idea and soon, the two that were the farthest from the facility were on their way towards the building Hanzo had found (said man acting as their map so they could find it). Once they had arrived, Jack looked over the building, nodding his approval even though Hanzo hadn't been asking for such a thing. Knowing he's done his part for now, the assassin takes his leave of the room and heads for the roof, not bothering to tell the other two where he plans to go, not that they try to stop and ask either. Once on the roof of the building, Hanzo keeps his gaze focused on the facility they're supposed to watch, eyes watching for any sort of suspicious character that might be Talon or petty thieves. He doesn't want to think about anything else for now as he does the only thing he can do at the moment, the only thing he's been doing since three in the morning: waiting. Hanzo tries to clear his mind of any distractions, softly repeating to himself to ignore them and stay focused on the objective. He's succeeding for the most part, mind cleared of everything involving yesterday and today, and he stays in that state for close to an hour before he's joined by Fareeha. He doesn't know why she bothered flying up to the roof to watch with him, why she's even anywhere near him to begin with (since neither have really spoken to each other), but Hanzo doesn't say anything. He plans to erase her presence from his mind if he has to and go back to watching the facility, but it seems she has other plans apart from just quietly standing beside him on the roof. It unfortunately includes talking, the very thing Hanzo didn't want to do because his emotions have been thrown off kilter for today thanks to heavy reminders.

 

“Do you prefer French or British cuisine?” The man isn't really sure why she chose that specific question, and he sadly can't just give her a yes or no answer, so he wonders whether he should shrug or say that he's never tried either. He goes for the latter, somewhat curious as to where she plans on taking the conversation.

 

“I have never had either, so I can not give you an answer.” He gets a soft hum from her as a response and it seems that despite his answer, Fareeha still plans to keep their talk going.

 

“I myself prefer French compared to the other, but both are enjoyable. Though I do  sometimes wonder if I would enjoy Japanese.” Hanzo then gives her a side glance at the words before he looks back towards the areas surrounding the facility.

 

“If you are not opposed to mainly fish, rice, and soup then you should be fine.” The security chief smiled faintly at that and nodded.

 

“I don't. I guess I will be fine then.” Hanzo gives his own nod.

 

“Most likely.” Silence settles between them at his words, and the man wonders if that was all Fareeha wanted to say. If it was, then he has to wonder what merit she would find in asking him about the type of food he's eaten and asking about his own cultural cuisine. Hanzo then thinks about what her own home's food would be like, and for the sake of maybe speaking with someone that isn't his brother or McCree, he keeps the conversation going.

 

“So you know about my home pertaining to its food, but what of yours?  What would I expect from Egyptian cuisine?” He remembered some of the things he read from her file that he was given access to, and Hanzo only now thought that learning of where she came from was a useful piece of information, even if he might never need to use it again. At least for him, it seems as though his teammate enjoys being able to tell him about where she was born, if only some small details.

 

“Quite a bit, actually. Bread, vegetables, and fruit mainly, but we enjoy it all for the most part. I'm sure you would as well, just as Jesse did.” That catches Hanzo's attention, and he raises a single eyebrow at the mention of the other man.

 

“McCree?” Fareeha nods with a smile that suggests she just remembered a hilarious moment from her past which it turns out to be.

 

“Mom wasn't opposed to cooking when we were still part of the original Overwatch. It was rare, but those days were something to look forward to. Especially since Jesse would almost beg for her food.” The image now conjured in Hanzo's mind is laughable to the point that he almost pities the young gunslinger he's suddenly thought up. What in the world would make someone that proud beg for Egyptian food made by a soldier? He's soon given an answer.

 

“The food served to the men and women there on a regular basis wasn't very appetizing - Jesse had tricked me into trying some of the stuff on his plate once - so some of the soldiers who could cook took it upon themselves to make something that the others could stomach. Jesse loved mom's cooking so much that he begged her to make it again. She darted him after he wouldn't stop.” Hanzo winces at that, having been told stories of the infamous sleep-darting escapades that the older sniper usual went on after she was given the ammunition to do so. He hadn't really meant to pay attention, but Genji had spoken about the incidents with such fondness that the archer couldn't help focusing on the words. Part of him wishes he hadn't, unsure if it was because of him being in the same room with his still alive brother or because the recalled memories sounded that terrifying to him. But he had, and he's somewhat grateful to have never known the older Amari when her go-to solution for annoyances was a sleep dart. Yet McCree was there to witness and be a part of those moments, something that makes Hanzo only feel more pity for the man.

 

“It must have been quite the sight.” He glances over towards the security chief still beside him and catches her smile that says everything: it was and had been worth it. Hanzo snorts out a laugh in reply to the smile as his gaze shifts forward again, realizing that there is now a significant lull in their conversation. He's surprised but pleased when Fareeha seems to catch on as well because she walks towards the edge of the building to indicate that she's decided to leave him be once again.

 

“I'll come back to change with you after one hour. Soldier wants us all to be fed and rested in case we have to fight anyone.” Fareeha gets to the point where she would fall off the edge with one more step if she were to take it before she turns back towards him with a much softer smile, small but still present.

 

“And I'm grateful that you have become friends with Jesse. He seems much happier now since the first Overwatch disbanded.” Hanzo's eyebrows furrow at the words, but before he can question her about what she means, Fareeha is already off the roof and descending towards the ground. He's alone again on top of the building, left to wonder why she thought they were close enough to warrant the title of friends and how it had to do with McCree's mood. As he thinks about it, Hanzo realizes that it's true that he has been spending more time with the other man than he did before, talking and sparring with him when Hanzo used to avoid the entirety of the Overwatch team. They've even eaten together in the dining hall, and McCree also saw him off before Hanzo left for their mission this morning. The older man supposes that to anyone watching, it would seem as though they had become close ever since being stranded together across the ocean, and he has to admit that what they think might appear to be true. It would definitely explain why he became so upset when McCree was shot, and even why the assassin feels calm around him. But what he still wonders about is what exactly that has to do with McCree's own change in attitude. As far as Hanzo knew, McCree was the same as he was before he started talking to Hanzo, it's just that he's now more open to the archer when they're together compared to the closed off and wary nature he had when they first met. The only change privy to Hanzo is the new closeness of their relationship, not in how McCree acts in front of others. But if he has to think about it even more, it makes sense that he wouldn't be the one to notice. He hasn't known McCree for very long and has only recently begun building something with the other man while Fareeha knew the cowboy when they were still young. Of course Hanzo wouldn't be able to tell, and for some reason, that realization upsets him even though it shouldn't.

 

Now with the new information, the man wonders if he should try to pay more attention from now on and see if he can't also notice a change in McCree's demeanor. But that's something for when they return to the watchpoint, not in the middle of a mission where his focus should be on watching the facility before them. He pushes away his thoughts about something that isn't the objective, and with a new goal in mind for when they leave, Hanzo lowers himself so he's sitting on the roof and keeps watch. He isn't sure if time goes by slowly or not, but Fareeha keeps her promise of taking over his position as soon as he's sure one hour has passed. He allows her to take his place without a struggle (even though the Hanzo some years ago would have growled at her that he didn't need to be relieved of his post for something so trivial as food or rest), and scales the side of the building to slip into one of the rooms they have chosen as their temporary base. He isn't surprised to find Jack near the window, and for a brief moment, Hanzo wonders if the man will stay there the remainder of the mission despite Fareeha taking her turn to keep watch on the roof. She won't be there through the entire night since they'll switch for food and rest, and Jack is bound to take her place at some point since they're taking turns, but if Hanzo has learned anything, the man before him will keep his eyes on the facility whether he's on the roof or not. The assassin debates saying something to the other man, maybe even ask him if he should be the one who buys the food (since Hanzo's sure he's the only one who looks normal enough to walk around and not be arrested for having a weapon or looking suspicious), but thinks better of it and lets Jack do what he wants. He may not be able to see the older man's face, but he's sure he would see a focus unlike any other that only comes from having nothing else left to live for.

 

Because if there's one thing they both share, it's that single-minded devotion. Hanzo had the same mentality when he left the clan, knowing that everything he once held dear was gone and that he had nothing left. The only thing that kept him going was the thought that he must earn redemption by eliminating those who deserved it. He doesn't doubt that Jack has the same mind-set, and Hanzo knows he can't try and stop the one thing that keeps the former strike commander driven.

 

So he says nothing to the other man and walks past him and towards one of the beds. A new debate starts for him, a battle between two choices that pertain to the torn mattress and moth bitten sheets. Part of him doesn't want to sit on the bed and would sooner stand in the middle of the room than bother with such a sad and grimacing sight. Another part, the one that had helped him endure when he didn't have the comforts of a well made futon or a roof over his head, tells Hanzo that he's experienced far worse and shouldn't be picky. Now with a decision made, he sits on the edge of the bed, almost wanting to wince at the screech made by the old springs, and lets his mind wander. He thinks about what was said between him and Fareeha, how he's apparently contributed to an increase in McCree's happiness (even though he thinks that's far from the truth), and recounts everything that happened that maybe would warrant such a claim yet again. He remembers the mission in Indiana, how they had talked and shared stories, basically watched over each other and ended up both emotionally and physically closer than Hanzo would have ever let them be. Then they were rescued and he ended up spending even more time with the other man after learning that appearances do not necessarily count as an accurate representation of someone's skill and intelligence (something he _should_ have already known, but stubbornly ignored). Hanzo's even been close to _genuinely smiling_ a time or two around the other man just from his words or actions.

 

And maybe, just maybe, he thinks that McCree has had enough of an influence that Hanzo's relationship with his brother is starting to change. He's noticed that because of the cowboy, Hanzo doesn't shy away from Genji as often as he used to, especially if McCree is present. He's also taken to contemplating accepting the invitation to meditate with his brother and the monk despite his reluctance to do so in the beginning, but a few words from McCree makes him think that he might have a chance to rebuild what he and Genji once had. Speaking of which, maybe he should take the offer to join their sessions when he returns to base, if only to see if he can't actually enjoy meditation once more.

 

“Shimada.” Hanzo inhales sharply at the sudden call of his name, unaware of how lost in thought he truly was before Jack snapped him back to the present. He looks up at the other man, taking in the change in the sun's position out of the window, and raises a single brow in question. It's really all he chooses to give as a reply since he knows the old soldier prefers things to be quick and to the point.

 

“We're gonna need you to go get the food. Sun is setting and I'm about to take my turn on watch. Think you can handle it?” That right there, the other reason Hanzo never really liked interacting with Jack, was his attitude towards him ever since he first arrived. It wasn't like the archer hadn't expected it, especially from someone who knew Genji when he was still overcoming the whole ordeal with their family, but he thinks he's helped enough that he doesn't need to be talked to in such a disgusted tone. Especially when Hanzo's being asked to go and get the food they'll need so they don't starve for the night.

 

He makes his annoyance at the question known by sending a glare towards the other man whose head turns fully towards Hanzo in response as if waiting to be challenged.

 

“It will be no problem at all, if that's what you are wondering.” He gets off the bed so he can move closer to Jack, holding out his hand when he's just a few feet away.

 

“But that will be difficult if I do not have the money for it.” He can see the tension in the other man rise at his words, but Jack only replies by silently taking the money from his pocket so he can gently place it into Hanzo's outstretched hand, much to the surprise of the assassin.

 

“Two blocks South, will be on the left side of the street. You should be able to spot it easily enough.” Hanzo nods, noting that Jack didn't specify how much food he should buy since he's sure the man is aware the archer understands that they don't need a banquet. He puts the money in one of the pouches on his obi before he steps away to remove his bow and quiver so he can leave them in the room (keeping the glove on his hand since he's aware some people think it's just some fancy brace). He won't need them just to go buy some food, and if he runs into any trouble then he has his communicator and enough experience to defend himself or escape. Besides, walking around armed in plain sight is liable to raise suspicion. This way, he'll just be another tourist, much like he was in New Jersey.

 

With his weapon placed on the bed and his sleeve pulled up to cover his tattoo, Hanzo leaves the old apartment building to search for the restaurant Fareeha found when they first arrived. As always, he ignores any looks he gets from strangers also walking along the streets, and keeps his gaze forward and back straight. Hanzo doesn't have any obligation to answer their looks with his own, and he can't afford to waste time and start something with an overconfident fool while he's currently on a mission. Finding the French restaurant is his top priority, and he walks the two blocks before Hanzo is sure he's found it. Jack had been right about finding it easily since he doesn't even think the name can be said smoothly unless by someone from France, so he walks inside and towards the woman waiting at a wooden counter. She smiles warmly at him and when he's close enough, he swears Lena is right in front of him after hearing the way the woman talks.

 

“Hello sir. Is there anything I can help you with?” He takes a moment to regain his composure after being hit with the giddiness in her voice, and finally, Hanzo nods.

 

“I would like to get some food to go.” She nods sharply and lowers herself behind the counter briefly before popping back up with a menu in hand, offering it to him with a smile.

 

“Just choose what you want and I'll go tell the chefs.” Hanzo does as he's told, picking out three simple dishes and telling her he just wants three waters as the drinks. After he pays her the amount it costs, he then walks over to one of the benches to wait while the food is being made. He sits there for a good thirty minutes before a waiter approaches him with a bag, handing off the food with a smile and an invitation to come back whenever he wants to. Hanzo gives a small nod (already aware that he's likely to never come back) and leaves so he can get back to the others. A very uneventful journey, but a necessary one, and Hanzo sighs in hopes that something happens even if it's only minor.

 

By the time he makes it back to the apartment building, Fareeha is sitting in the room and Jack is nowhere to be found. When he walks into the old bedroom, she turns to him and points at the ceiling.

 

“He's already on the roof. Told me to tell you that he'll eat when it's time to change.” Hanzo nods his understanding and hands her the bag that she takes without question, taking out the food and drinks while the archer takes off his sleeve and places his quiver back onto his shoulder.

 

“I hope that what I chose will be sufficient. I tried taking into account what we talked about concerning the type of food we grew up eating and what I have seen Soldier consume.” He hears the containers being opened before he turns around, a little surprised at the small smile Fareeha gives him after figuring out which one was hers.

 

“That was thoughtful.” Hanzo nods as he goes to eat his own food as well, taking a look out of the window next to him so he can take a quick survey of the facility. Nothing seems to have changed since his trip to get food, and with the knowledge that Jack is keeping a watchful eye on the facility, Hanzo begins eating what he ordered. As he does so, the man looks out of the window every now and then just to make sure nothing has happened and that no enemies have tried infiltrating the building to steal any tech. Fareeha just sits quietly as she eats, eyes never really leaving her food and seeming to have no desire to start a conversation like she did on the roof. Hanzo doesn't complain in the slightest, actually preferring to eat in silence since it gives him a chance to focus on the objective as well as his food. He finishes fairly quickly and after he's closed the container, Hanzo goes back to quietly sitting on the bed as he waits to switch with Jack who is still on the roof.

 

Hanzo is still somewhat hoping that something happens to make this mission more bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there will be more action in the next chapters. But I would like to say that if I've made any cultural mistakes during any part of this story, can someone please point them out so I can fix them. I would appreciate that.
> 
> On another note, if you have any questions regarding this story (private or otherwise) then you can ask me at my Tumblr which is in my profile or just search scarlet-snake.


	13. Fights and Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission is complete, a request has been fulfilled, and a drawn out sparring match turns into something entirely different by a tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't let that chapter title or summary fool you, it isn't what you think. I'm still milking the build-up, and will be until I tell you otherwise.

Night has fallen long before anything happens during the mission. Fareeha had switched with Hanzo about half an hour ago, warning them over the communicators just a few minutes after the assassin notices Jack become battle ready. He stands straighter and his grip tightens on his pulse rifle, Hanzo getting up to stand on the other side of the window as the security chief informs them of the two dark figures sneaking across the property around their objective. He watches as they run behind the building and out of sight just before Winston begins speaking over the comms.

 

“I need you to take them out quickly and quietly. We don't have authorization to be on the property, so any security there will fire at you as well. And if it turns out to be Talon, then leave immediately as there's likely more of them waiting on standby.” Jack speaks his understanding for the rest of them and motions for Hanzo to follow as he goes through the window and onto the fire escape.

 

“Pharah, I need an eye in the sky. Don't engage unless I tell you to. Hanzo, you're with me. Like Winston said, we need to do this quickly and quietly without alerting those on guard.” Both Hanzo and Fareeha give their confirmation of the plan and the archer follows the older man as the security chief takes to the air. She goes as high as she can so she isn't detected but can still see anyone on the ground while the two men silently make their way across the road and towards the facility. They've only seen a total of two guards roaming outside (ones who don't seem to be taking their jobs seriously if the limited movement is anything to go by), so they have a clear shot into the building using the same way the two suspicious people used to get inside. They're at the door, but don't enter just yet as Jack tells Hanzo what to do so they don't have to talk inside and be noticed.

 

“I want you to see if you can't get to a secluded vantage point and fire a sonic arrow. Give me sign if you can't and we'll go from there.” Hanzo nods and they enter, his eyes immediately looking up towards the catwalk on the second level. He spots a ladder nearby and immediately heads towards it while Jack claims a secluded spot among some crates as he waits for Hanzo to get into position. It doesn't take the younger man very long to scale the ladder, and he scans the lower level for either of the two people they saw sneak inside. He manages to spot a few guards (a total of four from what he can see), and his eyes land on the two figures they saw before. They're looking over a cluster of crates and whispering between themselves as they do so. Hanzo immediately looks for a safe spot to shoot his arrow at, managing to notice a small space between two tall stacks of large crates. He takes aim and fires, arrow slipping between the stacks and releasing sonic pulses. He looks at Jack who takes that as his cue to move, taking care not to run into any of the guards who still appear to be oblivious to their new visitors. Jack manages to get close enough that he can almost hear what the two potential thieves are saying, and thinks of how he's going to take them out. He could quickly do so by sneaking up behind them and using the wall or his pulse rifle to knock them out with, and it'll be the quietest way as well. So he takes a chance, peeking out from behind his cover by just a few inches so he can look at them with his eyes and not the sonic pulses (which are quickly fading), and notices that the two have their backs turned while they're still talking to each other (and he knows they can't possibly be Talon, they wouldn't be this sloppy). He spares a look towards Hanzo to get an idea if the coast is clear, receiving a nod right away the moment the other man catches the slight turn of Jack's head.

 

Now with the knowledge that he's in the clear, Jack moves as stealthily as he can without alerting the thieves (two men from what he can tell now that he's closer and has a clear view), successfully managing to get behind them without either noticing. He chooses to administer anesthesia using the wall, carefully setting down his gun before grabbing the two men in front of him. Before they can react, he slams them into the wall with enough force to knock them out but not kill them. After making sure they're unconscious, Jack slings one over each shoulder and grabs his pulse rifle, looking up at Hanzo every now and then so he can be guided out of the building safely so they don't run into any security. Once both have left the building with the two men, Jack asks Fareeha to make sure they successfully get away by telling them if the two guards outside will spot them. She informs them that they should be in the clear, so they leave, heading back towards the abandoned apartment building with the two thieves.

 

Once back inside the bedroom, Jack ties the two men together using one of the bedsheets and all three of them wait until the men regain consciousness. It happens after some time, both men groaning with no doubt massive headaches and swimming vision. Hanzo watches from the doorway as they notice the bindings and begin struggling, spouting curses and demands at Jack who just stands there in silence. Hanzo can't tell what he's thinking (not that he ever could with the mask in the way), but he doesn't say anything as he watches the two men start to argue with each other, noting how one has an accent he can't place while the other doesn't.

 

“I told you we shouldn't have taken the damn job! Now look what's happened!” The one with the accent scoffs in response.

 

“It's far from my fault and you know it! They gave us false intel of only six guards so I'm hardly the one to blame!” They continue to bicker until Jack seems to have finally had enough since he orders them to shut up. The two men do as told without resistance, and the former strike commander takes that as his cue to start asking questions.

 

“What were you two ordered to steal in there?” Despite their compliance earlier, neither men look ready to answer the question which only seems to raise the ire of Jack. Wanting to give them a scare and a threat, he mimics what he saw Reyes do sometimes by cracking his knuckles and stepping slightly closer.

 

“Don't make me ask again.” It seems to do the trick as they both begin babbling and saying they'll talk. The first one to speak is the one without the accent.

 

“We were supposed to steal some tech in one of those crates. They didn't give us any details on what it did, just that it looked like a weird gun.” Jack looks over at Fareeha who shrugs her shoulders to say she also doesn't know what they could be talking about. When he looks back at the men, Hanzo notices them both flinch and he almost wants to laugh. If all it takes is a threat of getting punched to make them talk, then they wouldn't last very long in the clutches of his family. Jack's little interrogation would be considered tame to what the Shimada clan would resort to.

 

“Who gave you the orders to steal the tech?” Both men try to glance at each other (a little difficult considering how they've been bound back to back), and they stay quiet for a few moments until the same one speaks again.

 

“Some company bigwig. We never got his name, and he hired us using some lackey who gave us the information.” Jack growled in frustration at the news, taking this time to leave the bedroom so he can talk to Winston. The men watch him go with wary stares, finally seeming to notice Hanzo who has to step out of the way so Jack can walk by. He only has to give them one glance before they look away, suddenly finding the other objects in the room very interesting. Hanzo watches them carefully to make sure neither try to escape or anything until Jack returns to give his teammates the rundown of the conversation he had with Winston.

 

“Big guy wants us to head back after we drop them off at a police station or something.” His head jerks towards the two men on the floor who groan at the mention of being turned over to the cops. Everyone else in the room just ignores them and continues listening to what Jack has to say.

 

“The carrier should appear over the same building we stepped onto when we first got here shortly. Let's get moving since we don't have to bother staying at a hotel.” Hanzo and Fareeha nod, the security chief going over to the men and grabbing them by the sheet tied around the two. They both let out pathetic sounds at being manhandled, but the sounds go ignored as they all start to leave the apartment building. Jack gives Fareeha the task of dropping off the two thieves and tells her to meet them back at the pickup site afterwards. She nods then flies away, the two men heading for the direction the carrier will show up. When they get there, they only have to wait a few minutes before Fareeha shows up again, and they all board the plane that was already waiting for them. Hanzo finds that the ride back is just as boring as the ride was from the base, and even worse, he'll have to return to inactivity and the same routines.

 

Unless of course, he takes the offer to try meditation and see if he can't enjoy it once again.

\-----

Genji had been trying the entire day to perfect the dragon while Hanzo was away on his mission, and it unfortunately took longer than he wanted to get the desired look. He had gone through every single piece of blue paper he had, even went through the misfortune of going back to the craft store and buying another box (because he wasn't about to use any of Hanzo's even if his brother left them in the recreation room). But he finally managed to make a blue dragon that looked just as good as Hanzo's green dragon, maybe even slightly better if he looked at them close enough. McCree hadn't really understood why Genji was still practicing origami, still trying to perfect the dragon, but the cyborg had vaguely explained using the words ‘I want to help my brother’. The cowboy let it be after that, and after a few attempts to practice origami by himself while Genji made the dragons, he left to go do some practicing he knew he was good at that involved the training room. The ninja let him leave and continued making dragons until Zenyatta came to get him, informing the man that it was already very late. Genji stopped long enough to look at the clock then went straight back to the origami dragon, telling his master that he just needed another hour or two. The omnic didn't try to argue with him, simply told Genji that he would expect the younger Shimada to keep his word before he left the room. Genji had because within eighty-five minutes, he had made a blue dragon that looked like it belonged with its green brother made by his own sibling.

 

Hanzo himself wasn't back yet, so Genji couldn't show the dragon to his brother just yet, but he had set the blue dragon down next to the green dragon and red crane sitting on his nightstand for good measure. It was midnight by the time he went to bed, delving into a dreamless sleep until he awoke eight hours later. He wasn't sure if Hanzo was back yet, and if he was then the ninja wanted to give the elder Shimada some privacy and a chance to get comfortable before showing him the dragon. So he heads for the meditation room to stay there for a few hours, not surprised that Zenyatta isn't there yet. Genji doesn't bother with incense for now, yesterday's still lingering slightly in the air, so he immediately sits down and begins meditating. He stays that way for a while until he hears the door open. Expecting it to be his master, Genji doesn't open his eyes but wonders why he hears soft taps as if someone's walking.

 

“Genji.” The call of his name makes the cyborg open his eyes, and what he expects is far from what he sees. Zenyatta is there, but behind him stands Hanzo who looks ready to turn on his heel and walk back out of the door if he feels like he has to. Genji doesn't say anything and waits for the monk to explain the situation.

 

“Hanzo has asked to join us. Would you please light two for today?” Genji does a quick nod of his head and stands, wondering if he looks excited for what's to come and that his brother has finally decided to try meditating again. He grabs two sticks from the stock they have, opting for the sandalwood this time since they haven't used them in a while (and hoping Hanzo enjoys the aroma as well). By the time he has the sticks lit and the smoke is filling the room, Zenyatta has taken his usual place while his brother has walked a little further into the room, still apparently hesitant. Genji sits next to the omnic, watching Hanzo expectantly who seems to wither under his gaze.

 

“Please, come sit with us.” Zenyatta motions to the space in from of him and Genji, nodding in approval when the elder Shimada slowly takes the invitation after a moment of hesitancy.

 

“Before we begin, I must ask once more if you are sure. I am not trying to pressure you or anything, and neither is Genji.” Hanzo spares a glance to his brother who nearly wishes he wasn't wearing his faceplate so he could smile at him (but then he'd remind Hanzo of the very thing he's constantly hurting over), but he settles for a small nod that receives one in return. Genji doesn't think he could be happier in this moment.

 

“I am sure. I want to try, at least, so that I can see for myself if doing this will change anything.” Zenyatta hums at the reply, and begins to go through the steps for Hanzo who seems slightly offended that he has to be instructed on something he used to due every day when he was growing up (but the keywords are _used to_ so he says nothing). Genji wants to watch his brother and make sure nothing harmful happens during the meditation, but he knows how sensitive Hanzo's nerves can be when someone's watching him, so he instead closes his eyes as well to join the session. He isn't sure what's going to happen, but Genji doubts that one day of trying to meditate is going to fix what the elder Shimada is going through. He'll just have to wait for the outcome and hope that Hanzo isn't scared away by what he experiences after one try. He just listens for now as Zenyatta continues to instruct Hanzo who has yet to say a word, but the heavy, almost panicked breathing isn't a good sign. When he thinks Hanzo won't notice, Genji slowly and minutely opens his eyes to take in his brother's state. He frowns at the pained expression and fast breathing, knowing that whatever Hanzo is seeing is far from friendly or relaxing (and he can hazard a guess as to what _exactly_ he's seeing). It isn't until Hanzo's hands begin gripping the metal knees of his prosthetics does Zenyatta stop the session. Two of his orbs float over to the archer who seems to slowly calm down the longer they float around him until he's sitting calmly on the floor. Hanzo gives the monk a small thank you at the help, and much to Genji's pleasure, asks if they can try again tomorrow.

 

“You are always welcome whenever.” Hanzo nods and rises before he takes his leave, giving them both a small bow just before the door closes. Genji would go after his brother, but he doubts the man wants any company at the moment. He also thinks as an afterthought that showing Hanzo the blue dragon can wait until he's come to enjoy meditating once again, maybe even use it as a push in case the other man decides to stop trying at some point. For now though, he goes back to his own meditation with Zenyatta joining in as well.

 

Meanwhile, Hanzo takes the chance to visit the practice range after his failed attempt at meditation. He needs something else to occupy his mind right now after reliving things he'd rather not have to go through again, and training seems like the perfect option despite coming back from a mission just seven hours ago (because he didn't really do much, just made sure Jack wasn't caught and shot an arrow between some crates). When he gets there, Hanzo isn't at all surprised to see McCree already practicing against some of the robots, sighing to himself when he takes out three at once. Hanzo stays near the door and just watches until McCree calls off the training and goes to change the settings, taking that as his cue to walk closer until the assassin manages to get the other man to look his way. When McCree finally spots him, he smiles and tips his hat downward.

 

“Well, didn't think you'd be back already. Certainly a pleasant surprise.” Hanzo raises a brow as he crosses his arms over his chest.

 

“How so?” McCree huffs before motioning to the robots behind him still moving around.

 

“Ya already got an idea of what I'm workin’ with here. Now we get the chance ta spar with each other again.” It doesn't take much convincing since Hanzo had already planned on practicing at some point today, so he nods and they choose the settings for the match. Dorado, one hit kill to win the fight. Both take their respective places on opposite ends of the generated space and wait for Athena to end the countdown. Hanzo already has a blunted arrow nocked while McCree makes sure the barrel is full of rubber bullets. Athena reaches the last few numbers, the match begins, and both begin moving, either searching for cover or their opponent. Hanzo slips into one of the buildings, quickly making his way to the second floor and taking cover by a window. He peeks out every now and then in search of McCree, but still hasn't seen the other man. He luckily has a clear view of the stairs from his position in case the gunslinger wants to try sneaking up on him again (not that he thinks it'll happen considering the last time McCree snuck up behind him, but he can still be cautious), so he keeps his focus on the area in front of the building. It’s not his usual style of fighting, staying in the same spot in a rather enclosed area that would sooner require he fight using close-combat methods over his arrows, but he firgures that McCree will be expecting him to be running across the rooftops in search of a vantage point. This way, he'll have the upper hand if that's what the younger man is expecting to see, and McCree won't be any the wiser to Hanzo's new approach to their match. That's a major _if_ though, and the archer isn't sure if the cowboy would be able to catch onto him that fast.

 

But he continues waiting until finally, he sees a quick flash of movement next to one of the other buildings some meters away from where he's been sitting for close to fifteen minutes. Hanzo watches that space and the area surrounding it until he sees a flutter of McCree's serape disappear behind another building. He's close, and Hanzo still isn't sure the other man has figured out the assassin's strategy by now or not. He just keeps watching for the small movements and glimpses until he spots a gun being pointed his way from behind one of the walls. Hanzo manages to duck in time for the bullet to miss and instead hit the wall opposite to him. That was far too close, and Hanzo doesn't know whether to be annoyed he was almost hit or proud of McCree who almost won. His eyes are back to watching for the other man, the gun already having vanished, so he has to search again. He suddenly hears a noise from below, on the first floor of the building, and Hanzo realizes that McCree has entered the place he chose for cover. He curses to himself that Overwatch requires they use safer weapons when sparring, otherwise he would have won with a scatter arrow. McCree isn't Genji so it'd be unlikely he'd be able to stop them even if he tried, and that would have been another victory for Hanzo. But right now, he doesn't have one, and is using arrows that normally wouldn't leave a mark (unlike when he _stabbed_ McCree, but there were reasons he never got around to explaining). Now Hanzo has to improvise.

 

So when he's sure the cowboy has stepped farther into the building and away from the door, the archer vaults out of the window and onto the ground below. The landing is soft and silent thanks to years of practice, and Hanzo inches closer to the door, mindful of windows. It's fully open, something in the back of Hanzo's mind telling him that something like that is rather odd for McCree, but he brushes it off. It's not like the man has to worry about more than one enemy so it's understandable if he does things he normally wouldn't on a battlefield.

 

But when Hanzo gets closer and into a range where he can see inside, he soon finds out that it wasn't an accident.

 

He spots McCree through the doorway, the gunslinger apparently looking around as if he expects to find Hanzo. The archer thinks he's won since the younger man appears to be none the wiser to his whereabouts, so he inhales slowly before he comes out from behind his cover just enough for his upper body to be in McCree's sight if he was turned around. He doesn't have a chance to release his arrow, stunned into immobility long enough for a rubber bullet to hit him in the middle of his forehead. McCree had turned the moment Hanzo decided to take the shot, causing Hanzo to stop his attack and instead be taken out by the other man. The former heir looks down at the bullet now lying just a few inches away, hearing Athena overhead announcing McCree's victory, and looks up at the gunslinger who whoops in triumph.

 

“Would’ja look at that. Seems I just bested _the_ Hanzo Shimada in a fight.” Hanzo's stunned form finally moves as the arrow that was never shot is taken off the bow, and the man stands. He smiles despite the loss, and he swears McCree becomes even more gleeful because of it.

 

“It appears you have. Congratulations. You are not as terrible as you first thought.” McCree lets out a soft chuckle at that before walking closer, picking up the bullet when it ends up by his feet

 

“Gotta ruin my win don’t’cha?” Hanzo shrugs, which earns him another laugh and a suggestion for another round. By the time dinner approaches, both have sparred a total of twelve times, Hanzo beating McCree with seven wins against the other's five. They figure a break is in order along with some food, and by the time they reach the dining hall, the other members who haven't been deployed on a mission are nearly through with eating. Reinhardt spots them first, calling over the two and catching the attention of nearly everyone else present. McCree greets everyone who gives him their own welcome as he makes his way over to the German, Hanzo just nodding to those who also greet him as he walks behind the cowboy. They sit at the table with Reinhardt that's also occupied by Ana and Torbjörn, Hanzo immediately going for the control panel to order his food while McCree is pulled into a conversation by Reinhardt.

 

“We were beginning to think you'd never show up! It's bad to skip a meal, especially if you need plenty for a fight.” McCree doesn't get a chance to speak as Torbjörn snorts at the bigger man and waves his claw at him in what could only be interpreted as accusatory.

 

“Not everyone is eager for battle as you are.” Reinhardt laughs, sudden and loud, and a few others in the cafeteria jump at the noise.

 

“Ah, mein freund, battles and fighting are some of the greatest things in life! Who doesn't love them?” He just gets another snort in reply, Ana calmly sipping at her drink as McCree is once again caught in a conversation.

 

“But really, any later and you two would have missed dinner.” The gunslinger shrugs as he glances over at Hanzo who has already begun eating, not seeming like he plans on helping the other man any time soon. McCree is so going to remember that.

 

“Well, we got carried away sparrin’ against each other and lost track of time. But hey, we're here now ain't we? ‘Sides, can't exactly miss dinner when the dinin’ hall's open all the time.” He receives a laugh and a harsh slap on the back as the bigger man agrees with his logic, McCree rolling his shoulders at the new pain before ordering himself some food. Hanzo has already gained a hefty lead against him, almost done with his food and taking the time to enjoy his tea despite the taste being nowhere near how he usually brews it (computer food could never really hold a candle to real, handmade food in his opinion). They take their time for as long as they can, agents leaving and filing out of the dining hall as time drags on (not to mention Reinhardt constantly trying to include them in on conversations while Torbjörn scolds him), until both have finished as well. They leave the now silent cafeteria and walk through the hallways, both heading for the front door to leave the base and spend some time outside at McCree's suggestion made during one of their matches. He had thought it sounded silly at the time, throwing out the idea to watch the sunset after spending so long inside and training (and considering what happened the last time they spent time outside), but Hanzo accepted the invitation, much to his surprise. When they made it outside, both walked towards one of the higher hills with a lone tree standing tall on top of it. They sat beside it and watched as the sun began getting lower, rays dancing off of the water and mixing various colors. It was silent between them for the most part until Hanzo was the first to break it.

 

“During our sparring…” He stops for a moment, McCree looking over at him when the lack of a continuation becomes longer than Hanzo would have liked, but he continues speaking after thinking of the correct words.

 

“During our matches, I kept thinking about when we first trained together. When I… stabbed you with an arrow.” McCree hums, feeling a small twinge in the already healed spot at the mention of what happened.

 

“Ya ain't gonna say yer sorry again, are ya? ‘Cause partner, I’d’ve thought by now that it was water under the bridge. Already forgiven and forgotten.” Hanzo scowls at the words, but after a moment, gives a small nod.

 

“I am aware. But that is not what I wanted to talk about concerning the incident.” McCree raises a single brow and leans his shoulder onto the tree next to him so he can get into a more comfortable position. He doesn't speak, prompting Hanzo to continue who does so without hesitation.

 

“I want to explain my reasoning for how I reacted. If you would allow me.” McCree suddenly feels a twinge of guilt at that, remembering that Hanzo has no idea that Genji already told him why an arrow had been jammed into him. He isn't sure if bringing up that fact would upset the archer, and part of him wants to see what Hanzo would say in his defense without the knowledge that his actions were already explained, but the cowboy doesn't think he could do that to the other man. He bites his lip in thought, warring with the two possibilities until McCree sighs and decides ‘to hell with it’.

 

“This might upset ya, but there ain't no need ta tell me why ya did it.” He glances over at Hanzo who is now staring at him in confusion, wondering why he doesn't have to explain himself. McCree braces for the worst as he looks back at the water.

 

“Well… Genji may or may not have found out 'bout the accident and told me why ya reacted the way ya did. ‘Bout what ya went through back when y'all were still part of the clan and had assassins comin’ after ya.” Silence is what he receives as an answer in the beginning, not sure if he should look towards the other man or continue avoiding eye contact. When McCree's close to sliding his gaze towards the man beside him, he nearly jumps when Hanzo finally speaks.

 

“I see. I suppose that it was as much his story to tell as it was mine.” McCree holds back the urge to flinch at the familiar words, and decides it would be better to keep that small bit of information to himself. They delve into an almost awkward silence that McCree desperately wants to break because this was not what he had in mind when suggesting they watch the sunset. He just wanted a relaxing moment for the both of them, maybe see if he could get Hanzo to open up a little more. Instead, the air is tense and McCree has no idea what to do to make it better. Just as he thinks he should call off watching the sunset, Hanzo quietly brings up something else that McCree can only interpret as unpleasant with how defeated the other man sounds.

 

“I had thought about what you said that time in the dining hall. About accepting the invitation to meditate with Genji and... Zenyatta.” McCree looks at him expectantly, hoping that what he hears next will be good news.

 

“And what’d ya come up with? Were ya gonna give it a try?” Hanzo purses his lips into a thin line as if contemplating his answer before he takes a deep breath and exhales slowly.

 

“I did. This morning, after coming back from the mission. It… did not end very well.” He still remembers the memories that plagued him when he tried to follow the monk's instructions, past mistakes and regrets he doesn't want to relive. But he knows he has to try to come to terms with what he's done if he's ever going to enjoy meditation again, he just isn't sure how long it's going to take before that ever happens.

 

Next to him, McCree bites his lip as a stab of guilt rises in his chest, remembering how upset the older man looked when he walked into the training room earlier in the day. He had a feeling something like this was going to happen. It was bound to. Someone like Hanzo, who carries all of his regrets and demons on his shoulders like some sort of clothing he can't part with (something McCree knows enough about given what he usually wears on a daily basis), wouldn't be able to fix whatever it was haunting them that quickly. Especially not the man who is constantly reminded of his mistakes just by looking at his brother, and who holds onto what he's done like a lifeline. McCree is well aware it doesn't take one day for someone to change and accept what they've done, but it wasn't like he wanted Hanzo to suffer even more because of his pushing and urging.

 

Unsure of what to say in the situation or how to approach it, McCree settles for the first thing he thinks will help.

 

“Listen, I wasn't tryin’ ta make things worse. But if it gets ta be too much or anythin’ like that, ya know ya can come ta me if it'll help. I'm willin’ ta listen, whatever it is.” He lets his words sink in for a moment, allowing Hanzo to think about whether he wants to reject or accept McCree's offer. He watches for some time as the archer seems to mull over the words, body tensing just slightly when the older man turns his head to look at him with a piercing gaze. McCree swears those eyes have softened just a bit.

 

“Are you sure? It won't burden you?” McCree's eyebrows raise at the words, and he promptly shakes his head in reply.

 

“Course not. I mean, we're friends, ain't we? And it ain't just me, a lotta the other guys in there would be glad ta lend ya a listenin’ ear. All ya gotta do is ask.” The thought of them being friends makes Hanzo remember the conversation he had with Fareeha during the mission, and realizes that he has indeed earned the label of friends with McCree. He's not really sure how to take it as he's never gotten this far into a relationship with anyone other than Genji, always opting to keep people at a distance much like his father and the servants did to _him_. The new revelation now being presented to him makes Hanzo both excited, but at the same time, uneasy. Part of him wants to embrace the new relationships he's now forged with the members of Overwatch, but then he thinks about all the bad things that could happen, and how he would react. If there's one thing Hanzo is aware of, it's that anything can go wrong. Possibilities such as the assassins trying to kill him using the agents against him, Talon taking any one of them and using that member against Overwatch, maybe forcing Hanzo to _kill_ them, or worse, one of them _dying_ on a mission and the archer having to deal with the aftermath and grief. He had already gone through that with Genji and doubts he can do it a second or third time (the reason he'd never wanted to associate and get close to anyone). But despite how much he wants to reject the help, how much he thinks he doesn't deserve it (because he never has), who is he to turn away someone who has already shown they care and will continue to pursue something if they truly think it's worth the effort?

 

Taking yet another deep breath, Hanzo nods his head and manages a small smile that shocks McCree enough that he almost doesn't hear the other man's words.

 

“Then I will hold you to that, McCree.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mein freund - my friend (German)


	14. You Came Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain and comfort come hand in hand, and Hanzo didn't realize until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have this day early Christmas gift. Angst and fluff basically sums up this entire chapter.

Two weeks had passed since their talk under the tree. Five of the fourteen days Hanzo spent on two missions, one of them more reconnaissance and the other taking out Talon operatives who had set up a base near a town. Every other day was spent training, practicing origami once more (with him avoiding making the dragon), or attending the meditation sessions with his brother and the omnic. Hanzo hadn't really known how quickly he would be able to try and meditate without being plagued by his past, but it seemed as though it would take far longer than he expected. So far, there were no welcomed results from the meditation, and he was becoming more agitated each day that passed. It showed in the way he acted towards others, posture more stiff and words spoken through clenched teeth, and even how much more aggressive he was becoming when practicing. Those who noticed steered clear if they felt they were in danger (which was now quite often) or spoke to the man in careful tones that Hanzo didn't want them to use. Even McCree was beginning to act more carefully around him, and that annoyed Hanzo more than anything. However, despite what the cowboy said to him, the assassin didn't talk about what he went through or saw with anyone when that's what he should have been doing. Even Zenyatta had told him to share what he saw with them on many occasions, but the guilt Hanzo felt at the memories would force him to keep his mouth shut no matter who approached him about it.

 

When the drudged up memories became too much, Hanzo would hide himself away from anyone else, either in his room or on the roof of the watchpoint. Genji never tried to find and comfort him, to which the elder Shimada was grateful for, and it allowed Hanzo to have some peace to himself. During those moments, he actually thought about what might happen if he went to McCree instead of shutting himself off, wondering if it would be any different with the company or if it would just make him feel worse. In the end, the more he thought about it, the more negative the outcomes. One of his major concerns was McCree taking back his words and saying that it was a mistake to give Hanzo the option to seek him out for companionship. That the other man would go back to eyeing him from afar and silently judge the archer based on his past actions. Hanzo doesn't doubt that's what he would deserve, but it would still hurt all the same.

 

They were friends, weren't they? Didn't that mean that McCree wouldn't turn his back on him? But it wasn't like they had been friends for a long time, and Hanzo's seen many scenarios of people betraying someone just out of sheer convenience. He wouldn't be surprised if McCree did the same thing to him even if he didn't seem like the type of man who would do such a thing (at first glance anyway, but the man proved to be more cunning and tricky than he let on). So Hanzo stays away from everyone for as long as he can so he doesn't risk ruining whatever relationships he's already built with those part of the new Overwatch.

 

But he should have known he couldn't stay away forever. After a particularly bad session with Genji and Zenyatta, Hanzo stormed out of the room and walked right through the front doors of the base. He doesn't go for his usual spot on the roof, somehow sure that his brother would come looking for him this time after the many attempts to get Hanzo to stay and talk to them after he screamed the moment his eyes flew open. He instead heads for the lone tree he sat under with McCree, hands grabbing at the trunk for some sort of grounding as he tries to even out his breathing. This time was the worst, too many mistakes being brought up and shoved into his face. Some were overplayed, but they were still potent and in the end, Hanzo felt like he was drowning in a sea of blood.

 

Trying hard to purge the memories from his mind, Hanzo sits against the tree and stares out at the ocean. He tries to think of something else, but nothing appears to be strong enough to block out the past and let him have a moment of peace. Hanzo isn't sure how long he sits there, blankly staring ahead of him and ignoring his surroundings, but a noise to his left forces the archer to look at McCree now sitting next to him on the grass, giving him just a little bit of space. Hanzo notices the look of concern on the other's face and quickly turns to face ahead of himself once more, not wanting to see the pity that is no doubt there in McCree's eyes. The cowboy doesn't speak like Hanzo expected him to, and the assassin doesn't know what to interpret the silence as, but he doesn't have the heart to push McCree away or yell at him to leave. They just continue sitting next to each other, not doing anything until Hanzo becomes confused as to why the other man is doing nothing but sitting there. Taking a chance, Hanzo licks his lips a bit before he manages to find his voice.

 

“Are you not going to talk?” The words feel thick in his mouth and he isn't sure why. It might have something to do with how clogged his throat feels, but he can't tell.

 

“Didn't know ya wanted me to.” McCree has a point, and Hanzo feels stupid for asking the question in the first place. He sighs in annoyance (directed mostly towards himself, but he doesn't think the other man knows this), and with a slight change in his posture, he glances towards the gunslinger.

 

“I did not know you suddenly needed my permission. You normally speak whenever you feel like it.” He sees McCree nod a couple of times, but he doesn't respond right away as he takes a moment to lightly scratch at his beard (a habit he does when thinking, Hanzo has figured out). When his hand finally moves away from his now more outrageous beard, McCree leans back onto his hands and stares at the water.

 

“Well, I think that if I talk I'm gonna end up askin’ ya why yer so upset.” Hanzo's immediate reaction is to snap back and reply that he is fine, but the truth behind McCree's words, coupled with the look that gets sent his way forces him to close his mouth into a thin line. It's been made very obvious recently that he is unable to lie to McCree, even when someone else would believe what Hanzo says in a heartbeat, and when he tries to, that makes the other man annoy him until he gives the reason for his bad mood. He's almost starting to regret forming a friendship with the man, but he knows that McCree's actions mean he cares. Sighing again, Hanzo lets his entire body lean heavily on the tree, and he explains his mood, albeit vaguely.

 

“The session today was rather… _difficult_ to get through. There were many unpleasant things shown this time.” The cowboy nods next to him (even though Hanzo doesn't see it), and part of him can only guess what he means by unpleasant. McCree knows there's no peace without many hurdles for a person with sins, and he knows the archer has plenty of them. He's unsure of what to do really, Hanzo not being the kind of person who feels better by talking or hugging it out, but McCree thinks he should try to do _something_. Wondering how strongly he's going to regret it, the gunslinger shifts a little closer and lowers his hat just slightly.

 

“Feel like sharin’ with the class? Not sure if it'll work for ya, but talkin’ can help if ya let it. Though, just so ya know, the person ya were in the past ain't who ya are now. Yer a changed man Hanzo, a good one. Rollin’ with Overwatch, takin’ down guys on the wrong side, even tryin’ ta fix whatever ya can between yerself and Genji. Yea, ya did some fucked up things, a lot of people have, but yer tryin’ ta make things better. So, that means you've also become better.” There's nothing but silence as a response, and McCree feels ready to smack himself for thinking that Hanzo would be willing to tell him about things he doesn't want to remember. Especially after that heart-pouring spiel that he probably had no place saying. Feeling like he should apologize, the younger man turns towards the assassin, mouth open and ready to say how sorry he was, but what he sees stops him in his tracks. A sight he thought he'd never see, and frankly, doesn't want to see again now that he has.

 

Hanzo is crying. Actually _crying_ with tears running down his cheeks, dripping from his chin, and eyes squeezed shut in a vain attempt to stop them. McCree can see the small shake and twitch of his shoulders that suggest Hanzo is trying desperately to keep in whatever noises are threatening to spill from his lips, and the sight is heartbreaking. He had never thought someone like Hanzo, who usually looks so strong and proud, could end up looking so _broken_ in just a matter of seconds, and the sudden realization _hurts._ Worried, panicked, and unsure, McCree sits there and watches, a big part of him hoping that what he's seeing isn't real. He had only suggested they talk (and may have gotten a little carried away in his attempt at easing the other's grief), but instead, Hanzo is crying and McCree can't figure out what to do. The panic he's currently feeling definitely isn't helping him think of a solution. So the gunslinger takes a few deep breaths, searches through his own memories for anything that might help, and suddenly remembers what his mother would do for him after a particularly nasty nightmare or a bad day. Mind made up, McCree removes his hat (because his dad had also done this so many times) and carefully places it on top of Hanzo's head. The man is understandably startled, eyes snapping open and body going tense, but McCree turns back to look at the ocean as he remembers an old song his mother sometimes sang to him. He goes over the words quickly in his head, makes sure he remembers the melody, and begins singing as best he can.

 

_Hundida yo estaba, ahogada en soledad_

_Mi corazón lloraba de un vacío total_

_Todo lo intenté, por donde quiera te busqué_

_Eras tú me necesidad_

 

Hanzo has no idea what the words mean or how he never knew that McCree could even speak _Spanish_ , but he does know that the other man has an amazing voice. It's deep, rich, and soothing despite the few cracks he can find when there's a particular note that the younger man just can't hit. But he listens nonetheless.

 

_Triste y desolada, ya no pude soportar_

_Más desesperada, era imposible de estar_

_Todo lo intenté, por dondequiera te busqué_

_Eras tú mi necesidad, alcé mi rostro y_

 

_Llegaste tú, y todo cambió_

_Llegaste tú, la esperanza triunfó_

_Llegaste tú, volví a nacer_

 

Now with his full attention on McCree, Hanzo can't help but listen to every single word that is being sung. He mostly wonders what is being said and wishes he knew Spanish well enough that he could translate the words himself, but Hanzo has a feeling he understands what's being said to him (even if there's a high possibility that he's wrong and McCree's voice just makes the song sound so sweet). If he's wrong, Hanzo won't even be upset like he normally would at finding out he hadn't been correct.

 

_Por tanto tiempo quise encontrar la solución_

_A ese gran vacío que llevaba en mi interior_

_Todo lo intenté, por donde quiera te busqué_

_Eras tú mi necesidad, alce mi rostro y_

 

_Llegaste tú, y todo cambió_

_Llegaste tú, la esperanza triunfó_

_Llegaste tú, volví a nacer_

 

The archer doesn't say anything the entire song, just silently listens as that deep singing goes through all of the words and finally ends. Silence settles between them, and when McCree musters up enough courage to look at Hanzo, he abruptly shifts his gaze away at the shocked stare on the other man's face. The cowboy avoids eye contact for a long time before he manages to clear his throat, snapping Hanzo out of his trance, and somehow squeaks out his reasoning for choosing the song.

 

“My ma used ta sing that ta me whenever I was upset. It ain't really the best choice for cheerin’ someone up, but it was one of her favorite songs. Also mighta been because it was sung by a woman who was part of a duet or somethin’ called Jesse and Joy.”  McCree manages a small chuckle at remembering why his mother liked the song so much, and to his surprise, Hanzo also lets out a soft laugh that sadly ends very quickly (because it sounded deep and gravelly and he began to wonder how it would sound when made out of pure happiness).

 

“How very fitting.” McCree smiles at the obvious rise in the other man's mood, happy that he was able to do something to cheer up a crying Hanzo. He tries not to look at the tear tracks on the sharp cheeks, and instead takes in how the assassin looks with his hat on. If he's being truthful, something about Hanzo wearing his prized Stetson makes something flutter in his chest, but it's something he can't really look too deep into right now. This isn't the correct situation for it and should be done when he's alone. For now, he just watches as Hanzo seems to notice the hat and removes it from his head with steady and gentle hands. McCree is grateful at the reverent care that the older man is showing his Stetson (which he shouldn't be surprised at considering he told Hanzo how much it means to him), and lets him look it over in his lap. Every touch is delicate like it might break with just a little more force, and Hanzo finally comments as a thumb gently rubs against the medal on the front of the hat.

 

“Thank you.” The words nearly catch the gunslinger off guard, but he manages a quick chuckle as a hand rubs the back of his neck.

 

“Ain't no big deal. Ta be honest, Genji was the one that asked me for help. Fella was raisin’ hell and sayin’ he had ta find ya so I started lookin’ too. Glad I did.” Hanzo looks at him then, a somewhat soft expression on his face that shows how much he's calmed down. It makes the tear streaks stand out even more and without really thinking about what might happen, McCree reaches over with his right hand to wipe away the tracks on Hanzo's left cheek. The other man's eyes widen, but he doesn't push the cowboy's hand away, much to the surprise of the both of them. When he thinks he's wiped away enough, McCree lowers his hand back to his side and softly smiles.

 

“Cryin’ ain't a good look for ya.” Hanzo blinks at the words but gives his own smile as he goes to return the Stetson still on his lap.

 

“I do not believe it looks good on anyone.” McCree nods before the hat is placed back onto his head before he stands, stretching out the kinks in his back and limbs. He gives the water one more look before holding a hand out to the man next to him.

 

“We should get goin’ ‘fore Genji has a meltdown. Might've already happened.” Hanzo takes the offered hand and stands, taking a moment to wipe away the drying tracks on his cheeks. The last thing he wants is to make his brother feel guilty and stop their sessions, so when he's sure the evidence is completely gone, they begin walking back to the base (with Hanzo realizing a little too late that he just cried in front of _McCree_ of all people and was just comforted by said man, not that he's really complaining). When they make it inside, it only takes a few minutes of them walking the hallways before Genji finds them, the cyborg rushing over to the two and hurling apologies and concerns. Hanzo is taken aback by it all and starts to feel a little overwhelmed until McCree steps in to calm down the younger Shimada (now having the thought that he's become the caretaker for the two brothers). Genji calms down easily enough, and as a final apology, bows low towards Hanzo.

 

“I am sorry for what transpired. We were not trying to hurt you in any way.” The elder Shimada looks between his brother and McCree (who is discreetly motioning at the ninja with his chin as a signal for Hanzo to say something) before clearing his throat so Genji looks up at him.

 

“I know you weren't. And I also apologize for running away when I should have just talked.” Genji rises at the words and nods his head, silence now settling between the three of them that makes McCree shuffle on his feet a little. When he starts debating excusing himself and taking his leave, Genji speaks again.

 

“Zenyatta has suggested we take a break for now so it would allow you to have a few days to yourself. We would come get you when he deems it alright to try again. Is that okay?” Hanzo frowns a little at the words (this scenario being the exact thing he _didn't want_ ), part of him feeling like they're treating him as some sort of fragile child. But he mostly understands why they want to give him a break for now. Mind made up, he nods in reply.

 

“That is fine.” Genji seems to perk up, sparing a glance at McCree who notices thanks to the slight turn of the other's head. He tips his hat in response and the cyborg looks back towards Hanzo.

 

“Then I will go inform Zenyatta. See you both soon.” He walks away with a single wave of his hand and both men watch as he disappears behind a corner. Now left to themselves, McCree bites his lip in thought as he thinks about what they can do when a thought occurs to him.

 

“Hey Hanzo.” Said man turns to look at him with a raised brow, waiting for the other to continue.

 

“Wanna practice some origami together? I'm still terrible at it, but I'm sure ya got a lot more ta teach me than Genji.” Hanzo thinks on the idea for a moment, taking all of five seconds before he nods his head.

 

“I suppose. It would be a welcomed distraction.” McCree smiles at the acceptance of his invitation, and they soon leave to retrieve Hanzo's origami boxes before heading to the cowboy's room at the younger man's request. It would be more secluded compared to the recreation room, not to mention no one cared if McCree smoke or drank within his bedroom since it was away from others. The archer didn't protest in the slightest, part of him looking forward to the welcomed seclusion despite it belonging to someone else. He usually wasn't one for invading the privacy of another person's room, so he felt a little uneasy despite being allowed inside. Another thing he found disagreeable upon using the room was the heavy smell of cigar smoke. It wasn't as though Hanzo was weak to the stench or couldn't stand it in copious amounts (since he grew up around people who used kiserus almost constantly, and would have the misfortune of sometimes passing people who just bought a new pack of cigarettes from one of the many vending machines), but the lingering odor was foul, almost stale. He was aware that McCree smoked his cigars like they were his lifeline after alcohol, but he truly didn't know how big that number was. Being in the room now, Hanzo thinks he might have an idea, but he's not going to be rude to the other man's hospitality and berate him for not airing out all the smoke. That wasn't to say he wasn't tempted to ask Athena to ventilate the room and clean the air. But Hanzo would deal with it since he knew that after a while, he'd get used to the smell and wouldn't notice the difference until he left the room.

 

Or that's what he thought before McCree lit up another cigar the moment they entered the almost homey space. He knew the gunslinger didn't ask since he'd smoked around Hanzo before, but the assassin thought it was at least common courtesy to check with the other person beforehand. Still, he wouldn't raise a fuss since, as previously stated, he was used to the smell of smoke, and was even aware of the fact that he was just comforted by this man not even fifteen minutes ago. McCree even let Hanzo wear his father's hat because he thought it would help. The older man truly has no place complaining about someone smoking in their own room. So he just calmly sits on the floor by the bed, taking out the origami paper so he can spread them out in front of both him and McCree who sits next to him and leans against the frame and mattress. They both grab a piece and have decided to start by having McCree follow Hanzo through the steps as he begins making the very first thing Genji taught the cowboy: a frog. The younger man does so fairly easily as he had been practicing the particular origami animal as much as he could when he had the time. They then move onto the dog, another origami animal that McCree makes easily enough, and they continue the cycle of Hanzo showing the other man the different steps to all the animals he remembers how to make. He refrains from making a dragon, unsure if McCree has caught onto his reluctance to make one or not, but the gunslinger thankfully doesn't ask about it throughout the entire time they practice.

 

Both men spend a total of two hours making various origami animals, Hanzo noting the significant difference in his skill compared to McCree's, and they decide to go get some desperately needed food. They go over the steps as they walk through the halls, occasionally having to stop their conversation when another Overwatch agent catches them during their walk and wants to chat. Lunch keeps them from continuing the conversation as they delve into other various topics with other members who are also enjoying a meal of their own, and somehow, the two end up in the recreation room playing more video games with Hana and Lucio (Lena out on a mission). Hanzo grumbles the entire time, the only one who had been extremely against the idea of playing more games that he can't stand. His mood sours further every time McCree laughs at his quiet anger or defeats him in the game, and he begins to wonder if anyone would miss the boisterous man (part of Hanzo whispering to himself that he would, as well as Genji and everyone else).

 

By the end of it, the assassin has been made even more painfully aware of his lack of skills concerning video games as he stares at his double-digit death score. McCree's tries to cheer him up are in vain and he just sulks as Lucio and Hana cheer in their victories. At the prospect of another round being started, Hanzo tried to look for a way out by bringing up their earlier conversation before then two men were roped into being the two younger agent's metaphorical punching bags.

 

“Correct me if I am wrong McCree, but weren't we going to work on your origami skills? Or the lack thereof?” He sees the conflict going on within the other man, two sides warring between more origami practice or more video games. But the escape plan backfires as both Hana and Lucio look at him with questioning stares, Hana being the first to ask about Hanzo's words.

 

“Origami? That's what you guys were doing?” The archer can already see some sort of glint in the young girl's eyes, but before he can try and resolve the situation before it's too late, McCree manages to speak before him.

 

“It was indeed. Hanzo and Genji have been teachin’ me the basics. I'm surprised ya know what it is.” Hana looks at him with a confused gaze, head slightly cocked to the side as she stares at him.

 

“Who hasn't heard of origami?” When her gaze shifts to Lucio, he shrugs at the question and the movement causes McCree to softly groan to himself as he pulls his hat lower over his face. The very idea that he's the only person in the entire base who hasn't heard about origami until now is starting to look like a reality, and it makes the man want to sink into the cushions of the couch he's sitting on and never return. McCree doesn't think he should be this embarrassed about not knowing about the hobby until now, having grown up in a desert where the the most action you could find was with the local gangs (like he did), so he sort of wonders why he is. Everyone was too focused on staying alive and not getting caught by the law to worry about which animal they were going to make out of a small, square paper that night. Yet he's still upset about it all the same, not bothering to pay attention to the conversation now starting between Hanzo and the two younger agents as he wallows in self pity. But he does manage to catch snippets every now and then that make him wonder why he isn't listening because what he's hearing is amusing.

 

“Why can't you make us some origami animals?” Hana is practically whining now, and Hanzo just snorts in reply.

 

“Because that is not the point of it. Origami isn't done just to give others paper animals as gifts.” Apparently not or he wouldn't be defending it so heavily.

 

“Isn't that what some people do though?” McCree thinks Lucio might have stepped on a mine with that question.

 

“I am not _some people._ ” The metaphorical mine blew up, and a promising young agent with it.

 

“Then why don't you teach us how to do it? We'll probably get better results than McCree.” It's here that the cowboy perks up and glares at the girl in front of him who doesn't seem to notice as her focus stays on Hanzo.

 

“While that may be true, I still refuse. And why must it be me in the first place? Surely Genji would be just as good of a choice for a teacher.” McCree knows that statement is valid as he's been taught by the ninja and can vouch for the other's teaching skills (deciding to pointedly ignore the first sentence that Hanzo said because ouch). But Hana is fixated on coaxing the older man into agreeing to be the one who teaches them rather than having the younger Shimada do it.

 

“But Genji is always going off to meditate with Zenyatta. It'd be better if you did it since you have so much free time.” McCree can see the twitch in Hanzo's eye at the words, and he wonders how long it'll be before the other man storms out of the room so he doesn't end up summoning his dragons in a blind rage. Estimation is about five minutes.

 

“What makes you think that I do not have things I do as well?” Hana blinks once before wordlessly motioning to the video game going on behind her and the controller resting next to Hanzo on the couch.

 

“Because a busy person has time to play video games with supposed kids. Come on, we promise we won't cause trouble. And it'll get Genji off your back about spending time with us or the others for a while.” That seems to catch Hanzo's attention as he looks down at his lap, recounting the many times his brother pushed him to socialize with the other agents. He seems to be mulling over the words and implications if the serious expression is anything to go by, and after a glance at the controller next to him, Hanzo sighs and looks back up at the two young Overwatch members in front of him who seem to be eagerly awaiting his decision.

 

“Very well. But only if you two do not make a big fuss out of it.” Lucio and Hana both cheer and high five each other, McCree wondering how they can be so eager to learn about folding paper. He watches Hanzo pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance, and the gunslinger can't help but chuckle at that.

 

“Now it seems like ya got two more students.” He gets a groan in response, and the noise makes his grin widen.

 

“Unfortunately. And this also means that we will need to go get more paper from the store. I doubt Winston will be pleased.” McCree nods while Hana just shrugs at the words.

 

“Wouldn't be the first time.” Neither are really sure what she means by that, but they still don't want to find out.

\-----

Winston certainly wasn't pleased when asked for money to go buy origami paper, money they require for other, more _important_ things like food and ammo when they need it, but he gave in without much of a fight. He wasn't about to stop them from enjoying themselves instead of worrying about their next fight, but he managed to get back at the four members by sending them on a rather boring reconnaissance mission just two days later. Nothing happened for the entire three days they were there, and all four of them wondered if that counted as Winston abusing his power to assign missions.

 

In the end, they all agreed that it did.

 

Thankfully though, because the mission was so uneventful, Hanzo and McCree were allowed to do their own thing while Hana and Lucio went to entertain themselves with more video games and ideas for Lucio’s music. That left the two men to enjoy some time in the training room, this time fighting against robots and simulations instead of each other. The two were working well together, having fought each other enough times that they could figure what the other man was going to do with near perfect accuracy. Hanzo kept a close eye on the buildings in McCree's blind spots, making sure he took out any snipers or grunts that the other man didn't see. The cowboy was keeping tabs on most of the gunmen on the ground, occasionally taking out any of the robots or simulated foot soldiers targeting Hanzo when the man was looking elsewhere. They continued fighting and watching the other’s back until exhaustion began to set in after about four hours, their stamina finally drained and sweat beginning to collect on their bodies. McCree called for the simulation to end and Hanzo joined him on the ground, frowning as his thighs began to throb in pain. The younger man thankfully didn't notice since he wasn't looking Hanzo's way, and by the time he turned to look at the archer, his face was already forced free of the frown and all that was left was a look of utter exhaustion. McCree let out a long breath that almost could have counted as a sigh, and took off his hat to wipe away at the sweat accumulating on his forehead.

 

“That was a hefty workout. I think my shootin’ arm's gonna be sore come mornin’.” Hanzo hummed, checking over the bow he was using and frowning at how worn down he had made it. The string was looking as if it had been split a little in the middle and the arrow rest was sporting grooves where he used too much force behind his shooting. Despite the tech that went into making it, the bow still wasn't able to hold up when Hanzo used it unlike his Storm Bow. He would have to apologize to Winston about ruining one of the few tech weapons they had left for the simulations.

 

And from the looks of it, the gun McCree had used didn't fair too well either. It definitely didn't have the firing speed of Peacekeeper, and Hanzo could see the wear on it from how fast the gunslinger pulled the trigger, including where he tried to fan the hammer a few times despite the gun not having the same design as his revolver. It seems they would both be apologizing then.

 

Now ready to either go sleep or eat (neither had really made a decision yet), they put the weapons back and grab their own as they've done many times after practice. Hanzo tries not to let his discomfort show as he feels the muscles in his legs begin to tremble with overuse, but his step falters a bit and he wonders why he was so foolish. The assassin had always been meticulous when it came to training, never going overboard and making sure he still had enough energy by the time he left the training room. Now though, it seemed as if he had broken the single rule he set for himself, to never exhaust his energy on training alone, and he has no idea why. It might have been because he was too caught up in the fighting (simulated or not) or maybe because battling alongside McCree after days of inactivity fueled his desire for some action. Either reason upsets him and makes the elder Shimada feel like an idiot.

 

Even worse, the other man had noticed the slight change in Hanzo's walk once they left the training room. Ever the concerned friend, McCree wants to makes sure he's fine before they take another step.

 

“Yer legs doin’ alright? Seem ta be walkin’ a little funny.” Hanzo quickly nods, glaring at his prosthetics as he chastises them in his head.

 

“They are fine. Nothing to worry about.” But McCree doesn't look very convinced, especially not the moment Hanzo pitches forward and falls face first towards the floor as his legs buckle under him. The cowboy is quick enough to catch the older man before he knocks himself out on the tiled ground, letting out a loud shout of surprise. They both end up seated on the floor with McCree holding Hanzo steady despite the fact he isn't standing.

 

“I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say I got cause for worry. Ya definitely ain't walkin’ when ya can't even stand.” Hanzo glares at the man in front of him, the anger at himself for screwing up now mixing with the anger that's starting to accumulate at being treated like someone fragile.

 

“I can walk on my own.” McCree adamantly shakes his head and motions towards Hanzo's legs with his chin.

 

“And I say ya can't. I ain't stupid Hanzo, I know how ta tell if someone can or can't walk, and ya obviously can't. So we got two options here. Either ya let me help and get ya to yer room or I forcefully drag yer ass down this hall for everyone ta see. What's it gonna be, partner?” The archer’s glare darkens at the threat of being manhandled and humiliated, but McCree doesn't back down. They sit there, staring at each other for the longest time, both too stubborn to admit defeat to the other man, before McCree sighs and tries to calm Hanzo with a soft expression.

 

“Look, I'm only tryin’ ta help. Ya know ya can rely on me, right?” Hanzo's glare finally leaves, changed into a look of regret and guilt at the way he acted.

 

“I am aware. I just…” He isn't really sure what he's trying to say, maybe blame it on stubbornness or pride, but using either excuse leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Swallowing hard, Hanzo closes his eyes in defeat and bows his head.

 

“Very well.” McCree smiles at the permission, and after some maneuvering, Hanzo is on his back and letting himself be carried to his room. He's assaulted by the strong smell of cheap alcohol, cigars, and body odor, but really, Hanzo can't seem to care, something about the situation being entirely too comforting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yea, I like the idea of Spanish McCree and decided to convey that through Spanish songs, mainly Jesse and Joy's Llegaste tú which is very beautiful and the title of the chapter for that reason (the English version anyway).
> 
> Also pretty sure the words screwed with my phone's dictionary since it kept wanting to change most of them.


	15. Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long night becomes something entirely different during the entire day after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite the chapter title, Zenyatta only makes a brief appearance. It's mostly for what I had written near the ending of the chapter.

Despite what he had felt when he was being carried by McCree, the night is far from friendly for the archer as his mind busies itself on different thoughts and his legs scream at him for being overworked. The pain, along with the inability to sleep sours what good mood Hanzo had accumulated while McCree took care of him, and he silently curses in two different languages as he rubs at the sore muscles. The pain is so severe that he's no longer sure if it's just overuse or phantom limb, but either option annoys Hanzo to the point where he's debating asking Angela for some medication to stop the pain. But that would require he attach his legs again and walk to her room, the mere thought making his legs flare even more to the point that Hanzo knows he can't move even if he wanted to. He's strongly debating just asking Athena to call for the doctor, but the two problems of getting help from Angela is the fact that if he does, he'll have to take medicine that he absolutely despises (because there are far too many side effects and you would think modern medicine would have fixed them by now) as well as the high probability that she'll end up seeing him without his legs. It's a scenario Hanzo absolutely refuses to let happen, letting someone see how much of him is missing, even if they are a doctor.

 

But the longer he sits in pain, the more desperate he becomes until Hanzo's fist connects with the nearby wall in an attempt to divert the pain to a different and much more manageable region. It doesn't work as his knuckles now throb in pain along with his legs, and Hanzo grits his teeth in hopes that he can stifle any noises. A few whimpers still leave his throat, and the assassin is debating punching the wall again when Athena's voice filters into his room.

 

“Are you alright agent Hanzo? There was an unusual noise coming from your room.” He suspects she's talking about the sound of him punching the wall, the only reason she would have bothered to check on him since Athena doesn't normally monitor the agent's rooms because of privacy reasons. Taking some deep breaths, Hanzo nods as he steadies his voice to answer.

 

“I am fine. I was the one who made the noise.” As always, Athena is quick to reply.

 

“Are you alright? Is there anything I can do for you?” Always considerate, and it strangely reminds Hanzo of the gunslinger who had carried him all the way to his room, even brought him food when it was apparent that the archer was going nowhere anytime soon. Remembering almost makes him ask the AI to call for McCree, but much like his earlier reasoning with Angela, he doesn't want anyone to see him like this or to bother the other man at such a late hour. Hanzo shakes his head again, part of him wondering why he bothers when Athena responds to verbal replies.

 

“There is no need. I am alright.” But Athena isn't about to let up just yet.

 

“Would you like me to inform doctor Ziegler?” This time, Hanzo replies just as fast as she normally does, albeit a little more forceful with his words.

 

“No! Please. There is no need.” He hates how he sounds so broken, but it does the trick as Athena stops with the questions and bids him goodnight. The man isn't sure what to do now, legs still throbbing despite the drop in pain. Hanzo supposes he should try to sleep at least one more time before he resigns himself to another night of staying awake due to insomnia. So he lays down, shutting his eyes tightly in both an effort to block out the lingering pain and will himself to sleep, but neither work. His brain is still too busy for him to be able to try and get a few hours of rest, and the throbbing of his legs hurts too much for him to ignore. Defeated, Hanzo corrects himself so he's sitting against the headboard of the bed, and occupies himself by massaging his thighs. The archer winces at every flare of pain his touch creates, but it begins working after some time. The pain starts to fade and morphs into a dull ache that is far more manageable compared to the blinding pulsing he was dealing with earlier. As a result, Hanzo's breathing has slowed and his mind has calmed down enough that his thoughts aren't jumping from one topic to the next. Just as an extra precaution, the assassin takes deep breaths, holding them every now and then before exhaling, almost similar to how he breathes when trying to meditate.

 

Finally, Hanzo feels perfectly fine for the first time since the night began, and he's somewhat glad he didn't have Athena call Angela or McCree to his room like he was debating. He knows he can still take care of the problem by himself if need be, and the man takes pride in that, pride he had to swallow earlier that day after requiring the aid of the cowboy. He had mixed feelings about the entire situation, part of Hanzo wanting to hide away in shame at having to be treated like someone who couldn't take care of themselves while the other part welcomed and appreciated the offered help. It was a nice change of pace compared to how he was used to living after leaving the clan, and Hanzo thinks that if given the chance, he'd take McCree's help again.

 

It's a thought that both terrifies him, but makes him elated to know that if need be, he has someone he can rely on. The same man he had avoided and snapped at before the mission in Indiana, treating McCree like a nuisance and an idiot when the younger man is far from either of those things. Now realizing how mistaken he truly was, Hanzo feels like he has to apologize for his behavior. He just doesn't know how to go about doing so. It would be weird if he just blurted out an apology out of nowhere without any reason, and Hanzo doesn't think he can just casually bring it up during a conversation since that would require social skills he severely lacks. Or maybe instead of trying to express how sorry he is with words, he can use actions. But he doesn't know what to do other than what they've been doing together, and the man doubts McCree would appreciate Hanzo acting like his mother during fights and making sure he stays out of harm's way. The gunslinger already has a mother, he doesn't need two. And asking what to do is out of the question entirely.

 

And now after spending so much time thinking about it, Hanzo is starting to wonder why he's so fixated on showing his gratitude to McCree. It certainly has something to do with how much he's been helped by the cowboy and the kindness that's been shown to him, but the archer had experienced the same thing with servants from the clan. Then again, they had an obligation to care for him, and whatever kindness they showed was most likely forced. In fact, Hanzo can't remember ever being showed true kindness from someone who wasn't related by blood, and maybe that is the reason he wants to thank McCree and apologize for how he spoke and acted before. The younger man was the first outside of Hanzo's family to ever show concern for the assassin who believes that he doesn't deserve such a thing. Yet it was given to him, and as a result, he gained a friend and a crutch. Something he never thought he would have aside from Genji (the one from their younger days because the guilt for killing his brother still lingers), and to know that he has someone else he can trust makes Hanzo happy.

 

A happy that he most certainly hasn't experienced in a very long time.

\-----

McCree had a hard time sleeping the entire night after he had left Hanzo to himself. It was mostly worry that forced his eyes to stay open (as well as the usual moments of his past that haunt him at night), wondering if the older man was doing alright after practically collapsing once they were done with training. Because of that, he ended up barely getting any sleep at all and was forced to start the day at an earlier time than he was used to after rejoining Overwatch (because Blackwatch most certainly didn't let him sleep in on most days, and neither did life as a wanted man where he didn't have people he could trust watching his back). But at least this gives him a chance to check in on Hanzo who practically thrives on early mornings and little to no sleep. So he dresses, freshens up just a little, and heads out in search of the archer he had to carry on his back yesterday. His first two locations are the training room and the dining hall, frowning when he didn't find the other man in either (because this was _Hanzo_ , the same man who would practice when he wasn't sipping his tea), but it made a little sense. After what happened yesterday, McCree thinks it would be stupid of the elder Shimada to be practicing some odd hours after physically exhausting himself, but the dining hall was a bit of a surprise. That made the gunslinger’s next stop Hanzo's room, and he became even more confused when no one answered the door. It was at least relieving to know that if he wasn't there then the man was probably walking around and able to move. Unless he was in the infirmary.

 

Now with three choices checked and crossed off, that left McCree with four. The infirmary, the debriefing room, outside beside the tree they have now claimed as their spot (that's what he would like to think anyway, now having been there _twice_ with Hanzo), or the man is meditating with Genji and Zenyatta again. Thinking about it, McCree guesses the most likely places he'd find the assassin is with the cyborg and the omnic or outside by the tree seeing as he didn't hear about a debriefing this morning and Hanzo apparently despises the infirmary (known only because he adamantly refused medical attention after his leg was damaged). So McCree heads for the room chosen for the meditation sessions, and when the door opens, he doesn't know whether to be shocked or not. He's found Hanzo who doesn't appear to be the wiser to the room's new visitor, seeming to be deep in meditation with Zenyatta. Genji urges him away from the door so he can close it without disturbing the session, and McCree lets out a low whistle when they're alone in the hallway.

 

“Has he always been that calm lookin’?” He anticipated the negative answer from Genji, who does so by shaking his head, because after what he witnessed when they sat by the tree, McCree can hazard a guess that Hanzo probably never looked that serene during their previous meditation sessions. He just wants to know exactly what changed and how severe the tension in the archer's features was before today. Genji provides him with the answers.

 

“He has never been this calm during a session before. Both master and I were very surprised at the sudden change, but we were happy more than anything. Although, I still do not know exactly why it has occurred.” And even though he's wearing his faceplate, McCree can feel the other's gaze staring at him. It's a little unsettling (always was the many times Genji did it just to mess with him), and the cowboy is about to ask what the other man is thinking until Genji interrupts with some rather shocking words.

 

“But I do believe you have had an influence on my brother.” McCree stares at the cyborg for the longest time, trying to figure out the implications behind the words until he decides asking would be the better option.

 

“What d’ya mean I've had an influence on him? All we've been doin’ is hangin’ out here and there.” Genji's head tilts to the side just a little and the older man can practically feel the judging eye he's no doubt receiving.

 

“Is that truly all you have been doing? Simply ‘hanging out’?” McCree simply shrugs as a hand raises to rub at the back of his neck in embarrassment.

 

“Ain't that what ya call it when two people just spend time with each other? Ya make it sound like I'm doin’ somethin’ illegal with Hanzo.” He's not really sure where the conversation is heading, but he refuses to bring up anything that he's sure the elder Shimada would want to keep a secret, especially from his brother. And as far as McCree knows, that's really all they've been doing, is just spending time with each other, sparring, talking, practicing origami. Hell, they've even been dragged to a couple of video game sessions together. If that's not considered just hanging out, then McCree has been missing out on some very important things that Genji doesn't appear to be willing to tell him about.

 

The gunslinger is now even more suspicious about those thoughts than he was at the beginning when the ninja gives a soft chuckle.

 

“Knowing you, that is not far from the truth.” Genji ignores the insulted glare from the other man as he continues.

 

“But I am grateful to you, Jesse. Unlike when he first arrived, even when I found him again after so long, he seems… livelier, in a sense. I do believe you have contributed to that.” The praise makes McCree sputter a little and try to hide his face with his Stetson, the actions causing the younger Shimada to let out another chuckle. The cowboy looks away, muttering under his breath about 'conniving friends who just want to make him flustered’, but he still manages to respond despite still being laughed at.

 

“Well, I was just lookin’ for him and makin’ sure the guy was alright. He kinda overworked himself yesterday and it made his legs act up. But as long as he's walkin’.” He keeps out the part about having to carry Hanzo back to his room, and the small nod Genji sends his way basically says that the conversation is over. After a few more words are exchanged, the younger man goes back into the room while McCree begins making his way to the dining hall, never having gotten himself some food in his search for Hanzo. He gets there in time to be around most of the members who are still in the base and not away on missions, the ones who notice his presence right away giving McCree greetings. He greets them back as he enters, walking over to the table that Fareeha is currently waving him over to. The occupants are her, Angela, and Jack (which is a little surprising since the man usually eats alone, but it's possible he's being forced by the doctor), and sits to the left of the security chief and across from the old soldier. Angela sits on Jack's left, and she smiles at McCree when he's fully seated.

 

“How nice to finally see you up and about, Jesse. I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to go wake you up myself.” Said man feels himself pale just the slightest at the threat hidden in those words, and he adamantly shakes his head.

 

“There ain't no need ta go that far, promise. ‘Sides, I was already awake, I was just takin’ a little walk ‘fore comin’ here.” The two women give him skeptical looks (Jack's face covered despite the half empty mug of coffee in front of him), and he softly glares at the two for suspecting him of lying.

 

“I'm tellin’ the truth. Just ask Genji. I made a pit-stop by his and Zenyatta's meditatin’ room not even five minutes ago.” The looks have changed from skeptical to confusion as Fareeha questions him.

 

“Why would you go there? You weren't trying to mess with them were you?” McCree lets out an indignant sound at being accused of such a thing, and the noise causes Angela to smile.

 

“I'll have ya know that I’m not that rude. And I went there ta find Hanzo, which I did without disturbin’ their meditation, thank ya very much.” Fareeha chuckles at the reaction McCree gave her, and the man has to wonder why everyone feels the need to laugh at him today. Grumbling to himself, the gunslinger pulls up the computer's menu as he listens to the doctor's question.

 

“Hanzo was with them?” When McCree looks up, all three are staring at him (he only knows Jack is looking his way because of the head turn), and the man can't help the nervousness he feels at suddenly being the center of attention. Clearing his throat, McCree looks back at the menu while explaining.

 

“Yea. Hanzo's been practicin’ meditation with ‘em. Has been for days now.” The faces that are visible to him seem surprised, and the cowboy can't find it in himself to wonder why they would be shocked at the news since McCree felt the same when he first heard. But the surprise soon turns to soft expressions that hold smiles (again, with the exception of Jack whose face is now turned toward the mug that _still_ has coffee in it) as Angela comments first.

 

“That's good to know.” Fareeha and McCree nod their heads in agreement, and when the gunslinger starts eating his food, the conversation shifts to other topics. Jack leaves halfway through, no one really protesting as they let him go to do whatever it is he does in his spare time. Angela is the next to leave, saying her goodbyes once there's a lull in the conversation, and saying that she'll be in the infirmary if anyone needs her. McCree and Fareeha are left to talk with each other, sometimes starting up random topics or bringing up good memories from the past. It's the perfect segway for the security chief to tell McCree about how she basically teased him while he wasn't present. The man's only warning is a dark grin that spreads over her face.

 

“Remember that time you started begging my mother to cook for the agents?” The cowboy audibly swallows the chewed eggs as he nods slowly at the question. He swears the grin gets bigger, if only just slightly.

 

“I may have mentioned it to Hanzo when we were on our mission together in London.” The look she receives is priceless as McCree stares at her, mouth agape and eyes wide as though he was just told someone poisoned his food without his knowledge. When he regains himself somewhat, his mouth snaps shut and his eyes blink before they turn back towards his food. He stares at it, almost making her wonder if he's trying to wish what was on his plate would eat him instead, before McCree shuts his eyes tight and sighs.

 

“Please tell me yer jokin’.” Fareeha is starting to feel a little bad for embarrassing the man who was basically like a brother to her in this weird sort of way, but remembering all the times he's messed with her squashes any guilt she feels.

 

“I'm not. I told him about it while we were watching the objective. I don't know why you're so upset about it. You’ve done far more embarrassing things than begging my mother for decent food. Besides, Hanzo didn't really seem to care much about it anyway.” McCree groans as he drops his fork onto the plate so he can place his hands over his face, wanting to wallow in his own self-pity at the news.

 

“Yer killin’ me Fareeha. Ya really are.” The security chief lets out a soft chuckle at the dramatic reaction to her teasing, and noticing the time, she starts to get up to leave.

 

“I deserve some payback for all the times _you_ messed with _me_.” Another groan in response, and she chuckles again before placing a hand on his shoulder, the teasing tone now replaced with something more caring.

 

“But Hanzo seems like a good man.” McCree takes that moment to look at her from over his shoulder, noticing how Fareeha's expression says she _knows_. He isn't given a chance to say anything as she walks away and out of the dining hall, leaving the man alone with the remainder of his food to interpret what she meant. The gunslinger has a feeling that he already knows what she meant with the look, and McCree just shakes his head as he shovels some bacon into his mouth.

 

He knows, and he can't find it in himself to deny what had been left unsaid.

\-----

The session today, while still not being perfect or memory free by any means, had been far better than what Hanzo was dealing with up to this point. He was calmer, less tense, and able to go on for longer than he had been during the previous sessions before he was reminded of his mistakes. Zenyatta had praised him, Genji congratulated him, and Hanzo couldn't have felt happier about the results. The good mood was short lived, the archer knowing that there could end up being a relapse and today was probably just a lucky day, so he didn't set his hopes too high for the next session. Instead, he thanked the omnic and his brother before leaving the room (Genji briefly telling him that McCree was looking for him), heading for the training room to let off some energy built up from meditating. He was glad when he didn't see any sign of the gunslinger there (who would no doubt berate him for practicing again after yesterday's events), and began fighting against simulated enemies and robots. He wanted to at least expend some energy before searching for the man who was no doubt wondering if he was alright or not, and training was the perfect way. Hanzo didn't have any plans to stay for long, maybe an hour or two, so he focused on the fight instead of his other surroundings, taking out any enemy that came into his line of sight.

 

When he was sure he had used up enough energy, Hanzo stopped the simulations and looked at the clock. Almost two hours, just like he wanted, and now all that was left was to find McCree. Or that would have been the plan, but it seemed as though the reverse was going to take place since before the assassin could attempt to leave the room, McCree was standing in the doorway. The younger man was leaning against the frame (keeping the door from sliding shut and no doubt messing it up in the process), his eyes reflecting that of amusement despite the small frown on his lips. They both stared at each other, either waiting for the other to do or say something first, and McCree decided to be the one to break the silence.

 

“Now if memory serves, last time ya were in here, I had ta carry ya back ta yer room. Yesterday.” Hanzo glares at the man (because he knew this was going to happen), but both know it doesn't hold it's usual venom or potency. He's mostly doing it for effect, and the older man scoffs at the fake berating tone.

 

“ _Yesterday_. Which has given me plenty of time to recover, if you haven't noticed.” The frown on McCree's face becomes a smile as he nods while moving closer.

 

“I noticed. Much like how I noticed that ya managed ta make some progress in yer meditatin’.” Part of him expected Hanzo to get angry, if only just a little, at bringing up his previous failed attempts, but instead, he receives a nod. The softening expression that accompanies it is just an added bonus.

 

“Today was… better. Less… frightening. And I do believe I have you to thank for that, McCree.” Said man blinks at the words, chuckling and trying to hide the small blush he knows is rising on his cheeks. Dear lord, he's already blushing and Hanzo didn't even smile.

 

“That's mighty kind of ya, but all I did was tell the truth. Ya got friends who will listen, and yer tryin’ ta make progress with Genji. You've done more ta help yerself than I have.” The cowboy didn't really know the reaction his words would bring out of the older man, but he sure as hell wasn't expecting Hanzo to start sporting a blush of his own, looking down at the floor and failing to hide it. McCree just stared at the red dusting the other's cheeks and felt a swell of pride at making the archer blush. It wasn't every day he got to see such a stoic man become shy from being praised, but he knows better than to point it out to Hanzo who would no doubt run if given the chance. The silence drags on (McCree noting that this seems to happen a lot between them), but once he debates they do something, he sees the archer open his mouth first.

 

“Thank you. And I'm sorry.” The gratitude was to be expected, but the sudden apology caught the gunslinger off guard. He didn't know why Hanzo was apologizing, hoping he wasn't thinking that he was doing so because he suspected he looked weak in some sense, and McCree wished that wasn't the case.

 

“I mean, yer welcome and all, but why are ya apologizin’?” Hanzo bites his lips at the question, wondering where he should start in explaining why he was saying sorry to the younger man. Finally, he comes to the conclusion to start at the beginning.

 

“I am apologizing because I have treated you poorly. I had thought you were incompetent and lacked discipline. Now I see that I was wrong and shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Therefore, I am sorry for my behavior and actions.” To finish, Hanzo gave a low bow towards McCree who just stared with wide eyes and a hanging jaw. He didn't think such a thing warranted an apology (not when that's usually the first thing people think of McCree when they see him), and the formality behind it all was both expected but still surprising. He knew the assassin was trying to mend some little part of him that still ached over how he treated the other man, and McCree welcomed that. It meant Hanzo was making more progress. But he figured that if the former heir felt that he needed to apologize, then so did the cowboy.

 

Just as Hanzo was beginning to wonder if he went overboard with his apology and should fix what he just did, McCree cleared his throat and the older man looked up at him.

 

“Well, I accept, but if we're tossin’ out sorrys then I think I should also apologize.” This catches Hanzo a little off guard, and the man slowly rises to his full height as he waits for McCree to explain his words. Another clearing of the throat, and the gunslinger begins.

 

“I apologize for how I treated ya when ya first got here, and even what I thought before we met. I was angry at ya and considered ya a monster after learnin’ about what happened with Genji. Even after he told me he didn't hold a grudge, I did and, now that I think about it, that wasn't right of me. I didn't consider what ya had to go through, so, I'm sorry.” By the time he's done, Hanzo's eyes have become wide as he stares at McCree. More silence passes between them, and for the sake of keeping away embarrassment, both look away from the other. It takes a moment, but soon the older man is taking his turn to clear his throat and McCree spares a glance his way.

 

“They are understandable, your thoughts. If the roles were switched, I would have thought the same. Anyhow, I accept your apology.” The cowboy nods his head, and after a moment of thought, he begins softly laughing. Hanzo turns to stare at him again, only this time, with a look of curiosity as to what the other man would find funny in this situation. McCree hurries to minimize his laughing and try to explain.

 

“Just thought about it, all we're sayin’ sorry for, and now look at us. Don't tell me ya don't find it a little funny.” Hanzo thinks about his words, realizing that they have come such a long way compared to what they thought of each other before they started spending more time together. Noticing the massive change that McCree was eluding to, the archer smiles before he manages to stop himself. It's a surprise to the both of them, and the gunslinger just stares at the smile he sees before him. He's seen the many small smiles that Hanzo has had to offer (not even sure that most of them even counted because all they amounted to was a quick twitch of the corners), but this one is so shocking and mesmerizing that McCree isn't sure how to react. He wants to keep staring and soak it in because he may never get the chance to see it again, but with how it's quickly vanishing and being replaced by the embarrassment that's starting to appear on the older man's face, McCree knows he can't. So he reluctantly looks at everything that isn't the assassin and in an attempt to lighten the mood, he tries to crack a joke.

 

“Guess miracles do happen cause I swear I just saw Hanzo Shimada smile.” It works for the most part as he feels a strong but light-hearted punch to his shoulder accompanied by a tone that's trying and miserably failing at sounding commanding.

 

“Shut up. It didn't happen.” Now that's a challenge all on its own and McCree just grins down at the shorter man who looks like he might flinch away. The archer isn't sure what the smile entails, but knowing the younger man, it can't be anything good. McCree steps just a little bit closer, pointing at the other's lips that have already lost the smile they held moments ago.

 

“Ya can't lie ta me partner. That was a smile, ain't no two ways ‘bout it.” Hanzo goes to protest again, but he doesn't even have a chance to speak before the cowboy is repeating his words and saying ‘it was a smile’. He continues doing so every time the older man tries to say that it wasn't and he had been imagining things, and Hanzo feels as though he should be getting frustrated at being interrupted each time. He should be, but he can't really find the will to care or be upset at the man before him who has now begun acting even more childish by covering his ears with his hands. It's only when McCree starts getting louder in volume does Hanzo finally give up, sighing in good nature as he waits for the other man to realize he has stopped trying to deny his smile. It doesn't take long, and when McCree is sure he won't have to counter Hanzo's words, he removes his hands and just stands there while smiling. Hanzo shakes his head and begins walking towards the door, hearing the growling of his stomach and thinking he could use some food. He hears McCree following close behind, and he waits until they have reached the door before speaking as quickly as he can so the gunslinger can't talk back.

 

“It wasn't.” He hears a scoff from behind and when he turns his head, McCree is giving him a look that says it all: _you have the nerve to say that after what just happened, and I am feigning being annoyed._ The playful banter continues all the way to the dining hall that is now empty since people are off doing their own thing in other areas of the base or are on a mission. It's a welcomed scenario for Hanzo since this means he can continue his strange act with McCree who seems more than happy to give the man a chance to let loose. The playful jabs and light-hearted bickering mostly stops once Hanzo has gotten himself some food, sometimes starting up again just because the other knows that they can. It forces Hanzo to take far longer than he normally would on a meal, but just like how he felt in the training room, he can't be bothered to care about it because he's having so much fun. It's definitely a treat for McCree who feels like he doesn't have to watch what he says for once in fear he'll set off the older man, and keeps receiving retorts that show Hanzo's wit is just as sharp as his, if not sharper.

 

The atmosphere stays throughout the rest of the day as both spend time together, and when they make it to the lone tree that they have officially dubbed as their spot, the silence that follows is soothing. Both watch the water and sunset, neither feeling as though they need to fill the air with useless banter. Hanzo certainly doesn't think he needs to say anything, relishing in how light he feels for the first time in years.

 

_When was the last time I have ever felt so at peace?_

 

He can't necessarily recall any memory that could compete with his current situation. Yes, he had always felt a sense of tranquility when he was with his brother in their younger years, but the looming presence of the clan was always at his back. There never truly was a moment for Hanzo to feel as though he could be nothing more than a child with no worries about their future or a teenager whose biggest fear was how soon they would find that special someone. Now, without the expectations of an empire weighing on his shoulders, and a team he could consider friends, bordering on the prospect of _family_ (including an actual family member who was one of the few people to ever truly matter), it's like something inside of him has been lifted. Hanzo no longer has to fulfill the demands of people who only wanted a puppet instead of a person, no longer has to deal with problems all on his own because he would have been chastised for showing weakness, and is sitting with a man who has shown him kindness that didn't have ulterior motives. It's a revelation that, if he were anyone else, Hanzo would be crying in joy by now. But he won't because it would only worry the man beside him.

 

It would worry someone important to the assassin (someone who isn't Genji), and that's a thought that Hanzo doesn't mind in the slightest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take that ending however you want.


	16. Undeserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo comes to a realization and he silently suffers because of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, another chapter title that I had to use because I couldn't think of anything else. Anyways, I have a feeling the beginning of this chapter is something y'all will enjoy.
> 
> And quick warning that this chapter and the next one will contain mild gore as said in the tags. This is where it comes in.

Days after throwing apologies at one another and Hanzo coming to the conclusion that he's experiencing something brand new and practically surreal, he's beginning to realize something else that he isn't really sure how to handle.

 

Hanzo is starting to think he's developed romantic feelings for McCree (at least, he thinks he is since this would be the first time he's felt this strongly about someone who isn't family).

 

He isn't sure how to take it, doesn't even know how he came to the conclusion when they've only known each other for maybe close to two months, and it feels nothing like Hanzo thought it would. He's heard stories (from both his brother, strangers who weren't necessarily talking to him, and a few of the servants), and the way he feels is nothing compared to what they described. Even his mother, as sweet and wise as she was, blatantly lied to him when she said love was a wonderful thing (because how would his mother know, she was forced into marriage and didn't seem to like his father very much).

 

Hanzo did not feel wonderful. He didn't feel butterflies or suddenly hear singing. He sure as hell didn't see some pink halo around McCree every time they were together, or feel like some weight just lifted from his shoulders.

 

Hanzo felt dread. There was a stabbing ache in his chest that felt as if a million needles were being forced into his lungs and heart, along with a heaviness that only seemed to become more of a burden the longer he spent time with McCree. The archer was experiencing everything that wasn't what people said falling in love felt like, and Hanzo wanted to cut out the tongues of every liar he came across (aside from his family of course because that, he wouldn't dare attempt against his mother, and Genji already suffered enough).

 

That's probably why he was having such a difficult time meditating earlier today despite the progress he made days ago (and he finds it ironic that the cowboy was the one to help then, but now he's making everything _worse_ ). Hanzo found that if he focused on McCree then he could meditate undisturbed for a good amount of time. Now though, if he has so much as a passing thought about a Stetson or red serape, the stab comes back and he can no longer focus. Both Zenyatta and Genji were also concerned when the elder Shimada’s progress suddenly plummeted, and the monk was trying to find other ways for the assassin to focus. Needless to say, none of them worked, and that's why Hanzo has suddenly found himself back on the roof of the base with Genji sitting next to him in silence. It's a change from how the older man would have normally allowed things in the beginning because he'd usually prefer staying as far away from his brother as possible. However, because of recent events, he's found that he doesn't mind Genji's presence like he did when he first arrived at the watchpoint. It's a nice change, to say the least, even if all they're currently doing is sitting in silence as the wind howls around them. Hanzo ignores the shivers that go up his spine and the goosebumps that form on his arms in favor of listening out in case someone (namely McCree) decides they want to disturb their alone time. Part of him wants another agent to come up to where the brothers are and drag either (particularly Genji) away to do something else because the archer has no idea why he's even sitting on the roof. The younger Shimada had asked Hanzo to spare a moment, which he did, but he didn't think that meant sit in silence on the roof. What's even worse, the older man knows that nothing good can come of this if Genji hasn't spoken a single word.  _Yet._

 

And when he finally does speak, Hanzo wants to see just how fast he can climb down the side of the base without falling to his death.

 

“Are you having trouble with something again, Hanzo?” The assassin feels his expression harden at the word _again_ as if Genji is passive-aggressively stating that the other man has a multitude of problems (and he does, he knows this, but _still_ ). He doesn't answer the question right away, maybe out of spite or a reluctance to say why his progress has become ruined, but Hanzo purposefully takes his time. It's only after about three minutes does he realize that waiting won't work against someone who has practically mastered infinite patience when he wasn't around. Hanzo sighs in defeat, but still refuses to give a straight answer.

 

“I do not believe so.” He doesn't see Genji turn his head, but he can feel the stare that's calling him out on his lie. The elder Shimada then feels the stare disappear, and the filtered voice is back, almost mocking.

 

“Does it have to do with Jesse?” Against his better judgment, Hanzo scoffs, and he wonders if he's just given away the answer to that question. The possibility is very close to one hundred percent, but he takes the chance to see if he can't deflect before it's too late.

 

“What makes you think McCree has anything to do with it?” The stare is back, and Hanzo is now very tempted to try that timed climb. He's willing to take the risk of injury or maybe even death if it means he can get away from this interrogation that is in no way helpful. Genji seems to think the opposite as he responds.

 

“It was simply a hunch. But from what I can see, I am not far off the mark.” Hanzo sighs again, now wishing someone would come to interrupt their conversation. He should have suspected Genji was up to something when he suggested they talk on the roof. He doesn't even have a chance to speak as his brother takes the chance to make another comment.

 

“Would you say that Jesse strikes your fancy?” Now very suspicious as to what Genji could be implying, Hanzo glares at the man next to him who just continues his onslaught of questions.

 

“Tell me brother, does he make you quiver?” Now caught on as to what the ninja is doing, Hanzo's glare darkens as he mentally holds himself in check. Now is not the time and definitely not the place to strangle the younger Shimada despite how much Hanzo wants to. But he can't even get a word in as Genji continues his barrage of bad humor.

 

“Are you sure you are not cupid in disguise? He probably finds you fletching in such a way that you have unintentionally shot yourself with your own arrow. Maybe you should try having Jesse use his gun since _his_ shooting doesn't make you see hearts.” The archer has finally had enough of the puns and poor jokes, and before the cyborg can get another word in, Hanzo makes his annoyance known.

 

“Enough! I am not cupid, McCree does not have hearts floating around him, and I can only take so much of your horrendous jokes.” Any other person would have shied away, maybe even ran if they felt threatened enough, but Genji doesn't as he continues to sit there, now chuckling at his brother's outburst. Hanzo can't remember the last time anyone has _laughed_ at his anger (he can tell you with certainty that _no one_ ever did), so he lets it happen since he's gotten his desired point across. It works since Genji is soon apologizing, albeit not very sincerely and he's still chuckling.

 

“I am sorry brother. I was only trying to make you feel better. If I recall, puns used to be your trigger for laughing. Apparently that has changed.” There's another stab in Hanzo's chest that isn't connected with McCree this time, but it feels even worse since it's coming from Genji. The truth in the other man's words hurts because Hanzo had always started laughing whenever a pun was made. Now, he's become riled and irritated to the point of shouting. He wants to apologize, but he hasn't even opened his mouth before the younger Shimada is speaking once again, only in a more serious tone.

 

“Are you fighting with Jesse?” Hanzo shakes his head, knowing that is currently the farthest thing from the truth concerning his problem with the gunslinger. If he was being truthful, he would prefer that to what he's having to deal with at the moment. But the reality is that he likes McCree in a way no co-worker should, especially not with someone who hated the man in the beginning. Hanzo wants to express that, but he finds it hard to find the correct words for the ninja to understand without him just blurting it out. He tries anyway.

 

“It is not that I am fighting with him, but… the opposite. When I am with him I feel… almost calmed. He has helped me so much and I… I am…” The older man finally gives up in his attempt to relay what he wants to without giving too much away, but Genji seems to catch on. Hanzo can feel the stare again, only instead of something piercing and accusatory, it feels as if he's shocked and trying to figure out the elder Shimada. The stare is once again gone before the younger man speaks.

 

“You're saying you like him… in a more than friend way?” Hanzo doesn't reply, but he's sure that, along with the tensing of his muscles gives his brother an answer. The silence from before surrounds them again until all either can hear is the wind howling once more. The assassin is nearly dreading the moment either of them speaks because he basically just stated to his brother that he likes Genji's friend. It's a long wait, and when the cyborg speaks, Hanzo feels even more dread.

 

“Should we not go tell him?” The older man feels his blood run cold at the suggestion and glares daggers at the man beside him who doesn't seem affected in the slightest.

 

“We will not. I am not going to ruin our friendship over something this insignificant.” Genji tilts his head to the side, staring in bewilderment even though Hanzo can't see it.

 

“Insignificant? Since when were romantic feelings considered as such?” The archer's only reply is a grunt as he looks back out towards the horizon to see the water reflecting the sun. He hears Genji sigh next to him, and Hanzo would think that the younger man would just be done with the conversation and leave. He doesn't though, just continues talking even though the elder Shimada has half a mind to not listen.

 

“I highly doubt you would ruin your current relationship with Jesse. He is not the kind of man who would be angry over something like this. In fact, I think the most likely outcome is that he will be flattered. But I will not force you, nor will I inform Jesse either. If you want to keep it between us then I will honor that. Just know brother, that you are allowed to want more than what you have.” Genji probably thinks Hanzo doesn't have a retort since he's soon making his journey down the side of the base and back inside, the older man watching from his perch. He doesn't move right away, instead stays sitting there and mulling over the words his brother told him, about how he is allowed to want more. It's a silly notion if Hanzo's ever heard one because he has always wanted more. More power so he can protect himself and anyone he cares for, more strength so he can overcome whatever is thrown his way, even more knowledge because he has been shown how much he truly doesn't know about the world and what happens in it.

 

But those are most likely not the ‘more’ Genji is talking about. If Hanzo had to hazard a guess, the younger Shimada was referring to what he currently has regarding friends and family, and that is something the assassin thinks he doesn't deserve to want. Look at what happened the last time he wanted something for his family. Everything ended in death and sorrow and he exiled himself into a life of loneliness. Hanzo wanted to help, but he made things worse, and he will no doubt do the same thing if he tries to do or say something he normally wouldn't. Never again will he want more than what he has regarding other people, and that is something he will hold onto until Hanzo is dead and buried.

 

He holds onto those thoughts as he scales the side of the watchpoint, steeling his face to make sure he doesn't show any lingering emotions from his talk with Genji. It works because when he finally walks back into the base and down the halls, McCree (who somehow manages to always find him first) doesn't suspect a thing. There are no concerned stares or a bombardment of questions, so it's safe to say the younger man isn't the least bit suspicious. Hanzo is for once grateful for his emotionless mask as he easily accepts an invitation from the cowboy to eat together.

 

The mask is the only thing that is keeping everyone from seeing how much it truly hurts to not be able to tell McCree what he's feeling.

\-----

A few days have passed, and Hanzo feels close to having a mental breakdown. Most of it has to do with being around the gunslinger most of the time and being unable to say that he likes the other man while he has to deal with the younger agents and his brother. All of them are driving him insane.

 

Lena, who had finally returned from her mission, was informed by Hana about Hanzo's reluctance to teach them origami. Needless to say, he now has four students in total, three of which were not the intended recipients of his teachings. What's even worse, despite what Genji had told him about respecting the elder Shimada's wishes to not tell McCree, he is making it very difficult for Hanzo to stay in the same room with him and not toss his brother against the nearest wall. The ninja makes it a point to either tease the older man or continuously ask him if he's sure he doesn't want to tell the cowboy. It's even worse when said man is in the room, giving Genji a chance to ask him random questions about his interests (all of which are about things Hanzo enjoys), and to make comments about how far McCree has come in his friendship with his brother whether the archer is beside them or not.

 

It's understandable why Zenyatta has called off their sessions _again_ considering what is currently going on with Hanzo. That's why he thinks this upcoming mission will do him good as it will give him a chance to be away from the younger agents and maybe get some target practice on actual enemies over robots and simulations.

 

But then he's told who his teammates will be and it all goes downhill.

 

The mission is going to take place in Germany (so he knows Reinhardt will be part of the team before he even hears the list of names), and the objective is to look into reports of Talon activity. Hanzo has been chosen for the mission along with Lucio, Reinhardt, McCree, and Genji, three being the very people he was hoping to get away from. Now he has to fly with them on the carrier to Germany and hope that he can complete the mission without dying from embarrassment by the hands of his brother or his emotions running rampant while he's with the cowboy. It's easier said than done, and by the time they are boarding the plane and saying their farewells to those standing in the hangar, Hanzo is already a silent mess of nerves as his thoughts race about what's to come. He wants to avoid the others who were chosen for the mission, but neither McCree nor Genji appear to want that as they sit close to the older man and chat. The cyborg is thankfully not trying to discreetly tease Hanzo about his feelings, something the elder Shimada is very grateful for (because he wants to turn invisible or have the floor swallow him whole when that happens), and they sit there talking for the length of the ride with the other two agents joining in every now and then. It's a short ride since Germany isn't very far from the base, and they all land within less than an hour. Reinhardt takes the lead when the members exit the carrier, all of them following the hulking man as he heads for the area where the enemy activity was apparently highest. Everything around them as well as his teammates are quiet for the most part, and Hanzo thinks it's going to be a quick and easy mission.

 

Genji proves him wrong the moment he opens his mouth.

 

“Jesse, do you remember when I had you try onigiri from that shop we found in America?” The words make the older man stiffen, but McCree appears oblivious as he turns his attention on Genji and raises a brow.

 

“Ya mind remindin’ me exactly what that is again?” Hanzo knows where this is going because there is no way the ninja would bring up something about onigiri and not use it in some way to tease his brother. He knows the elder Shimada had a love for the rice balls (still does, he just never had the chance to eat them recently), and he's about to exploit that while still focusing on his conversation with the gunslinger.

 

“The rice balls you ate while we were on that recon mission in Washington. We had found a store that sold various foods, and I had you try their onigiri.” Something seems to click inside the other man's head as his eyes go wide with remembrance and he immediately starts reminiscing.

 

“Oh yea, I remember now! It was shaped funny and had the weirdest tastin’ thing stuffed in the middle of it. What was it called again?” Genji chuckles to himself at McCree's description and discreetly glances at Hanzo (who looks and feels very uncomfortable as he listens to the conversation) before he replies, sounding amused.

 

“It was a pickled plum that you ate. If I remember correctly, you began a fit because you were so surprised.” McCree huffs at the accusation, throwing his hands up in a dramatic way to make his outburst at the time seem justified.

 

“Cause that thing was salty as all hell! Honestly, I don't know how ya used ta eat it all the time.” Genji laughs again, and this time, motions towards Hanzo who was hoping to stay completely out of the conversation. The archer frowns because he knows what's coming next, and he sadly can't escape by making some sort of excuse to leave. The older man can only bear it the moment his brother opens his mouth.

 

“Hanzo and I used to eat them all the time. My preference was the pickled plum while he enjoyed the salmon.” McCree's attention is now on Hanzo who knows he can no longer glare at Genji because of the new attention. He just nods as a way of making the younger Shimada's claim valid and wants to sigh in relief when the cowboy looks back towards the cyborg. Their conversations continue until they reach the safe house they were going to use as cover for the mission and where Reinhardt begins going over the plan once again to make sure everyone remembered what to do. It was decided that he would stay in the safe house for the time being while the others (who would stand out less and be able to move discreetly if need be) would go and scour the area in search of Talon. If anyone found anything then they would report in and wait for further instructions, but if there turned out to be no enemies then the group would wait for a while before returning to Gibraltar. Everyone agreed and were soon on their way out of the safe house and towards the city in order to search for the enemy. It was decided that the four of them would split up, the Shimada brothers taking to the rooftops while McCree and Lucio stayed on the ground. So they went to search in different areas, Reinhardt checking in every now and then to make sure no one was hurt or being attacked. The others felt a little bad for leaving the man behind since the the German preferred action over standing around, but they knew he would be too easy to spot and identify. Lucio tried to keep him entertained by telling jokes about his surroundings and what he found, all of which was starting to annoy Hanzo.

 

The man was a warrior, not a child that needed coddling. He didn't know why they treated Reinhardt as such, but he suspects it had to do with the fact he doesn't really know the German that well. It's no surprise since the assassin spent more time avoiding people rather than getting to know them when he first arrived, and even after the influence of Genji and McCree, Hanzo still doesn't know much about the old warrior. It's shameful in a way, and the elder Shimada is now debating talking with Reinhardt after they finish the mission. It'll definitely be something to look forward to, and both his brother and the gunslinger will be proud of his social attempt, so he thinks there's no harm in trying. It might even become a welcomed distraction from McCree since Hanzo has noticed that his eyes keep scanning the area in hopes that he'll see a familiar flash of red. He's already caught himself three times now, even felt disappointed when the movement he saw in an alley was Lucio instead of the cowboy, and Hanzo is ready to hit his head against the roof in hopes that it will force him to focus on the mission.

 

He's maybe ten seconds from doing so when Genji is suddenly on the same roof as him, making it so that he won't be seen even as he watches from the spot next to Hanzo. The older man scowls, remembering how the ninja has found a new pastime in teasing his brother, and he refuses to acknowledge the other man. Genji probably doesn't notice or maybe doesn't care as he comments anyway, conversation topic having nothing to do with the mission. The unprofessionalism might kill Hanzo at this rate.

 

“You know, I have told you that Jesse won't get angry if you tell him. It still baffles me why you choose to stay quiet about it.” The archer narrows his eyes as he spares a look towards Genji, quickly turning away as he scans the surrounding area for anyone who might look remotely like a Talon agent. In order to convey his irritation, Hanzo speaks low and dark.

 

“And I have told you that I will not ruin our friendship. He does not need to be burdened any more with my inability to keep myself in check.” As soon as the words are said, the older man feels the tension in the air shift, and the next words his brother says have anger laced around them. Hanzo feels as if he's just made a grave error.

 

“Keep yourself in check? You should not have to do that. We are no longer bound to the clan so there should be no reason for you to be acting this way. You are human, anija, and a human allows themselves to show emotions. Jesse will not hate you for it, so why do you intend on keeping your feelings a secret?” The tension thickens and the older man can feel anger rising in his chest. Hanzo is now clenching his teeth, hoping that his brother will stop questioning his reluctance.

 

“Let it go. There is nothing to discuss about this.” There's a warning hidden under the words, but the younger man doesn't listen.

 

“Not until you explain to me why. Help me understand. Why will you not let yourself be happy?” The reply is so fast that Genji wasn't sure if he heard correctly, but the volume was enough to let him know exactly what Hanzo had said.

 

“Because I do not deserve to! I don't deserve _him_!” The tension increases with the elder Shimada's outburst whose face has become a mix of anger and sadness. Genji can only stare as the words sink in, and by the time Hanzo has looked away, the younger man feels as though he has pushed his brother too far. Guilt rises in his chest and it takes everything for the cyborg to not wrap his arms around Hanzo and hug him as both comfort and an apology. Despite the mission still being carried out, neither move or speak as they let the tension in the air slowly thin. It takes him a moment, but Genji is soon able to find his voice and announce his regret.

 

“I am sorry. I did not mean to upset you.” Hanzo sighs at the words, feeling guilty himself for getting so angry when the younger man was only trying to understand why the elder Shimada was being so reluctant, and try to help. He knows he shouldn't be acting this way, not after the amount of time they've put into fixing their broken relationship along with Hanzo's guilt and regret. And after shouting his reason, the assassin feels as if he's made his point regarding why he refuses to tell McCree anything, and Genji had already said he would honor the older man's decision. But before he can try to mend their moment and let his own apology be said, the communicators crackle to life and Reinhardt is once again looking for a report.

 

 _“Anyone find anything yet?”_ The two brothers go back to searching as everyone gives their answers, starting with Lucio who sounds a little annoyed.

 

 _“I got nothing still. It's practically a ghost town.”_ The next is McCree who is no doubt holding a smoking cigar between his teeth.

 

 _“Same here, not a soul in sight. Which, ya think we'd find someone, bein’ in the city and all.”_ Genji takes his turn to reply, putting some distance between himself and Hanzo so he can look in the other surrounding areas.

 

“I have also found nothing. I am starting to think that the intel was false.” That receives a grunt of an answer from Reinhardt who doesn't sound the least pleased by the time Hanzo gives his report.

 

“Nothing new.” He doesn't tell the German that he spent a good amount of time arguing with his brother instead of looking for enemies even though part of him wants to in order to ease the guilt. It worsens when he hears Reinhardt sigh on the other end of the communicator, but Hanzo bites his lip to keep himself from making the older man feel worse.

 

 _“I think it's time you all come back. I will tell Winston.”_ The agents give their responses and begin to make their way back towards the safe house. Hanzo's gaze falls onto Genji and he remembers that he still needs to give his own apology for his outburst. The older man moves quicker in order to catch up, but the moment he goes to leap onto the next roof, he feels a burning on his left side (and he's also pretty sure that was the crack of a gunshot he heard before being hit). The sudden sensation of pain makes Hanzo stumble and nearly fall, but he catches himself in time to stay upright and not become intimate with the ground below. His instincts take over, and with the new threat to his life now out in the open, the archer readies his bow and nocks an arrow within seconds. Hanzo sees the man the moment he turns around, and with a deep breath, the arrow flies into the enemy's sternum. It's over as quickly as it began, and now with the threat dead, Hanzo looks down at the new wound. The bullet grazed his skin, and from the position, it was no doubt an attempt at shooting him in the heart. The Japanese man feels lucky that it was a missed shot because if that had been someone who had better aim then he'd be dead. That knowledge, along with the fact that Hanzo hadn't been paying attention makes him angry at both the enemy and himself.

 

Now seeing how bad the damage to his side was (a minor wound, bleeding and throbbing, but manageable), Hanzo scans the area again as McCree's frantic voice comes in over the communicator.

 

 _“Who just shot? Is someone hit?”_ The assassin can't even reply before Genji is beside him and checking the wound, giving his own thoughts on what just happened.

 

“There was an enemy we did not see before. He fired and grazed Hanzo. The wound isn't fatal, so he is in no immediate danger.” The younger Shimada is then looking around as well, trying to see if he can spot any other enemies ready to shoot at them. Neither have found any other people, but they stay on guard just in case, even as McCree continues to talk on his end of the communicator.

 

 _“Hanzo? Ya alright?”_ Hanzo is already walking towards the dead body, climbing down the side of the building as quickly as he can before he replies.

 

“I am fine. Merely a scratch. But we have a bigger problem to deal with. The man who shot at me is part of Talon.” He doesn't even have to get that close to see the Talon logo on the man's arm, and keeping an eye on his surroundings, Hanzo pulls the arrow from the agent's chest. He doesn't bother wiping off the blood as he retreats back to his vantage point where Genji is still looking into alleyways and the windows of buildings. Hanzo is already on the roof by the time Reinhardt voices his concern over the communicator.

 

 _“Then you need to be careful out there. Where there's one, there's many waiting to follow.”_ It isn't even ten seconds after the older man says that do the rest of the agents scouring the city hear another gunshot and a shout of surprise over the communicator. Hanzo recognizes it as Lucio, and a deep fear begins to grip at the archer's chest. He readies another arrow, half listening to his teammates while the rest of his focus in on watching for more enemies that are no doubt lying in wait for their opportunity. He feels relief when Lucio announces his win over the Talon agent, his only injury a mild scare, but the relief is short-lived when he hears that familiar crack of McCree's Peacekeeper in the distance.

 

 _“Got a guy here myself. Looks like we're ‘bout ta have a fight on our hands.”_ Hanzo clicks his tongue in annoyance at the news, and finds out the cowboy was telling the truth when a group of Talon agents come into view and are now aiming towards him and Genji. He doesn't have time to react as the cyborg goes into action, managing to reach the enemies and cut all five of them down within a matter of seconds. The archer takes that as his chance to look for more, spotting another group in a nearby alley. The arrow he had nocked before is removed and replaced with a scatter arrow, aimed and released before any of them can take a shot. All of them fall, but Hanzo doesn't have time to enjoy the moment before he has to fire another arrow. It's starting to get hectic as more enemies flood the streets and alleyways, Hanzo and Genji taking out the agents in their vicinity as they listen to the sounds of battles going on elsewhere. McCree has not let up on his gun since his first shot, and the older man can hear a faint but distinct tune that is no doubt Lucio. It isn't long before he hears Reinhardt in the distance, no doubt having joined the fight once it was apparent that they would be taking on multiple enemies.

 

Hanzo has started moving more since the battle began, jumping from roof to roof in order to make himself a more difficult target to hit. It's proving effective as the agents below have trouble managing to shoot him before they find an arrow lodged somewhere on their person. It's also proving somewhat difficult for Hanzo himself since there are a multitude of enemies and he has a limited amount of arrows so some maneuvers force him to waste more ammo than he wants to. The assassin is sure that he'll have to try retrieving the arrows soon, but it doesn't look like he'll have enough time to do so without getting shot first. Hanzo will no doubt need someone to cover for him, and even then, there are far too many enemies for him to let up now. But he takes a chance, luring away the Talon members chasing him so they won't be near the dead bodies when he goes to retrieve his arrows. Hanzo knows he's faster than they are, and once he's sure they won't be able to hit him when he goes to restock his ammo, the archer runs back in the direction he came from. Dodging bullets for a short distance and feeling he has enough time, Hanzo begins pulling his arrows from the various bodies. Some of them prove difficult and almost make Hanzo wish he didn't design them with such lethal intent (because despite how hard it is to come by useful parts, he still made them with the idea that he may never get them back so they have to be dangerous), but he pulls them free before he has to fire them into the other agents who have caught up. Hanzo is almost dreading the moment he runs out and will have to use his bow to take them out instead, but he continues with his move and shoot tactics for now. He's already lost sight of Genji so it doesn't appear that he'll get any back-up anytime soon, and Hanzo can hear the various battles going on with the other Overwatch agents.

 

He doesn't even notice until he's already nearing the area, but the assassin has managed to run towards the direction McCree is. The crack of Peacekeeper sounds as if it's right next to Hanzo, and a quick look around has him spotting the gunslinger just a few meters away. The other man has already taken out quite a few of the enemies if the bodies are anything to go by, and is still getting rid of Talon members left and right. Hanzo can see the few scratches the younger man has accumulated from the battle, but they're not that serious and the elder Shimada feels his heart lighten at knowing McCree is still alive and doing fine. As an extra precaution, Hanzo takes the chance to shoot a few enemies that the other man didn't notice yet, the action causing McCree to turn and look for him when he spots the arrows. When they make eye contact, the gunslinger smiles and chances a small wave that only receives a nod as Hanzo goes back to focusing on the fight. McCree chuckles to himself as he takes out a few more agents, but he's beginning to wonder how long they can keep this up. There are far more Talon members than what they had expected, and he knows that they'll run out of ammo long before they win this fight. Their best bet would be retreating for now or maybe contacting Winston and asking for reinforcements, and he's sure that the others have figured that out as well.

 

Something has to be done or else they risk losing more than just the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overdramatic drama queen is me, making my story out to be a nightmare and gorefest when it isn't.


	17. Lose Then Gain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between the mission and returning to the watchpoint, McCree has an array of feelings to deal with. Seems Hanzo does as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who was able to finish the chapter a little early?

The situation was beginning to look dire. There seemed to be no end in sight regarding the enemies and both McCree and Hanzo were starting to run low on ammo. The archer had begun resorting to using his bow in order to conserve arrows while the cowboy started throwing left hooks at Talon agents that got too close. Both had resorted to covering for the other while the rest of the Overwatch members fought elsewhere, the communicators letting them know that Lucio was currently with Reinhardt while Genji was taking care of enemies elsewhere (no one was quite sure where but he assured them he was doing alright). The group had also contacted Winston a while ago, debating retreat or sending in reinforcements. It was decided that another group (consisting of who, those currently fighting weren't sure yet) would be sent in to lend aid. Retreat would take place only if the added firepower wouldn't be able to put a dent in the Talon forces.

 

The call had taken place quite a bit ago (Hanzo wasn't sure exactly how long since he was focused on other, more important things like not dying), and the other team had yet to show. Their current situation had only grown worse as well, fueling Hanzo's irritation along with his growing collection of cuts and bruises. He counted himself and the others lucky that there had been no major injuries yet, but the assassin knew that it was only a matter of time before a bullet belonging to the enemy pierced flesh rather than grazed it.

 

Hanzo also had a little voice in the back of his mind saying that it was rather strange how there were so many Talon agents yet there was yet to be a sign of Reaper or Widowmaker. He hoped they wouldn't show and were off doing something else because it would only make things worse if either (even worse, both) showed up this late into the fighting. They didn't need more enemies, especially not two of the most powerful (and annoying) foes they've faced so far.

 

Hanzo lets out a quick sigh of relief when Winston's voice filters in through the communicator.

 

 _“The others are almost there, ETA is about two minutes. Hold out until then.”_ The archer had to wonder why it was taking them so long to get here, that maybe they were having issues of their own, but he was too thrilled to really care. Hanzo instead focused on the enemy who was about to shoot McCree while said man was turned around, arrow flying and killing the Talon member instantly. The favor was returned when the gunslinger shot a man aiming for Hanzo while he was worried about the other agent, and both sent each other small and quick smiles as thanks before their attention was back on the fight. Both were seriously debating using their ultimate attacks to thin the enemy numbers, and when they were driven out onto one of the streets, Hanzo readied an already bloody arrow that he had shot then taken from a corpse. He just had to make sure the other man wouldn't be in the way of his attack.

 

“McCree. Get behind me.” Said man spares him a glance before doing as he's told (which Hanzo is thankful for and has a feeling that the younger man knew what he was thinking), moving to stand behind the assassin who aims at the many Talon agents before them. Feeling the pressure begin to well in his arm, Hanzo growls out his summons and lets the arrow fly, electric blue dragons cutting through the enemies with ferocity and taking out most of them. McCree whistles behind him, still awestruck at the sight before his attention was on the stragglers that hadn't gotten hit by Hanzo's dragons. Sidestepping so he was next to the older man, McCree fanned the hammer and took out the rest of them. Both men take the welcomed moment to breathe as the enemies are temporarily taken care of, the archer collecting arrows that he has probably used a multitude of times by now. There's both dried and wet blood on all of them, and Hanzo wonders how long he's going to spend cleaning and fixing the few arrows he'll leave with ( _if_ they leave because there has been no end of Talon agents). He's just grabbed the last arrow he can find when more enemies round the corner of a building and find the two men, giving Hanzo the chance to aim the arrow he just pulled and fire it while McCree fans the hammer once again.

 

The continuous fighting is beginning to take its toll on both of them, and when Hanzo thinks that the reinforcements should have arrived by now, he hears Jack's voice over the communicator.

 

 _“Everyone better still be alive down there because we're landing now.”_ The elder Shimada holds back the snort he feels building at the words and continues firing arrows as Reinhardt answers back, sounding far too tired to warrant his cheerful tone.

 

 _“Glad you could make it! There's plenty of enemies to go around so there's no rush, but you should probably hurry and take some on yourself.”_ It's as much a joke as it is a request for help, and Hanzo feels like he should be there fighting alongside the old warrior, but he isn't and the Talon agents in front of him are what he needs to worry about. Especially after a bullet has already pinged off of one of his prosthetics and another grazed the glove on his right hand. He's gotten close to getting hit and the longer he goes without being hit with a fatal shot, the less chance he has of getting out of this fight with only some scrapes and small wounds. Fatigue has already started to show itself, in both Hanzo and McCree, so he knows they need to finish up soon.

 

He's so focused on the fight that the archer is a little startled when Lucio's voice suddenly speaks in his ear.

 

 _“If anyone's in need of some quick healing then they better speak up!”_ The two men spare each other a glance, the cowboy still shooting enemies as he reaches for his communicator to tune into the line.

 

“Could use some over here if ya don't mind. Me and Hanzo kinda need a boost.” McCree then tells Lucio where they are and gives him a warning about the many Talon members before his full focus goes back to the fight. There are a lot less enemies than what they started with and were fighting a few minutes ago before their breather, but the amount is still overwhelming. They thin the numbers as best as they can before Lucio arrives, the DJ skating around a corner after a few minutes and knocking back some of the Talon members with his amplifier. When he's close enough, the younger man activates his crossfade, healing both Hanzo and McCree just enough that the fatigue starts to fade away. The few wounds they've received no longer hurt as bad as they did before the younger man arrived, and that also gives them enough energy to take out the remaining enemy agents. They get another breather and thank Lucio who gives them a mock salute before skating off to see if anyone else needs his help. McCree takes that moment to speak into the communicator, asking a question he's had burning in his brain for awhile now.

 

“Hey Genji, ya doin’ alright? Haven't heard or seen ya since this mess started.” It's only a few seconds before a familiar robotic voice answers him on the other end.

 

 _“I assure you, I am doing just fine. I was simply carrying out the mission elsewhere. Mainly inside some buildings.”_ McCree feels the relief flood inside of him and he smiles as he looks towards Hanzo. The older man also seems relieved if the somewhat relaxed posture tells him anything, but he tries to hide it by turning away the moment he catches the gunslinger looking. McCree gives a small chuckle before his attention is on the communicator again.

 

“That's good ta hear. Just give us a warnin’ or somethin’ the next time ya decide ta wander off and not tell anyone where ya went. I don't care what yer doin’, I wanna know yer alive.” He hears a soft chuckle on the other end before Genji replies.

 

 _“Very well mother. I will remember to do so next time. Is there anything else? Make my bed? Clean my hands before dinner?”_ McCree sputters at the teasing words, glaring when he hears a quick snort from the man beside him who is now holding a hand over his mouth. The younger man bumps him with his elbow in retaliation which in turn makes Hanzo tense even more as he tries to keep himself from laughing too much. He manages to succeed and clears his throat as he regains composure. But one glance at McCree's face makes him snort again and Hanzo has to walk a short distance away before the cowboy gets even more upset. McCree just scowls as he harshly presses the button on his communicator.

 

“Don't sass me. I was only makin’ a point.” He hears another chuckle that makes the man debate revoking his friendship with the younger Shimada. Especially since it makes Jack barge into their conversation with some reprimanding words of his own.

 

 _“You two need to stop playing and focus on the mission. We still have Talon agents to take care of, and acting like a couple of idiots won't help us any.”_ The words and commanding tone make McCree roll his eyes as he thinks _typical Jack_ before he's checking his gun and ammo stock. He only has a few flashbangs left and a rapidly dwindling supply of bullets, both making him scowl further and hope that they're close to winning the fight. He looks over at Hanzo to see the man gathering his arrows yet again (part of McCree thinking that at least he doesn't have to try to dig out his bullets from the bodies), and he spins the barrel of Peacekeeper for good measure. The sound seems to catch the assassin’s attention as he turns his head towards the gunslinger and puts away the last gathered arrow. They spare each other a quick glance before Hanzo is already moving to get to a vantage point. McCree takes that as his cue to start weaving through the alleyways again in search of enemies, picking off the occasional straggler who got separated from the group or just decided they wanted to try and leave the battle. The cowboy can hear the sounds of other fights going on elsewhere, the base of Lucio’s music, the loud voice of Reinhardt who is no doubt swinging his hammer, and he's pretty sure he can hear the hum of Zarya’s particle cannon somewhere behind it. The familiar sound of Jack's own pulse rifle is also amongst the different gunshots, and it makes McCree curious as to who else was sent as back-up. He knows Winston didn't just send them two people for help (not with how cautious and caring he is), and he finds out when an enemy he was aiming for is silently taken out before his eyes. It's a clean shot, and McCree knows that ability to take someone out easily and with little effort. The man takes a moment to scan the many rooftops, smiling when he sees the familiar silhouette of Ana hunched and looking through her scope. The gunslinger takes the moment to wave, gets a small one in return, and starts moving again when he's satisfied.

 

McCree also makes sure to keep an eye on Hanzo who is traversing the rooftops with ease, smiling to himself whenever he hears a pained noise from those downed by the archer's arrows. It takes them some time, but both manage to find another batch of Talon agents that they quickly get to work exposing of (Ana helping from her perch and proving a valuable asset since that's less bullets and arrows both men have to use). They spend less time taking out the new group compared to the ones they were fighting before and McCree is tempted to light a cigar as a small victory celebration. What keeps him from doing so is the loud explosion in the distance, and he watches as a building that was standing some blocks away begins to tilt and crumble under its own weight. He's stunned into immobility for a short time as the man continues to stare and watch the smoke rise to join the clouds, and the dawning realization makes him forego the cigar.

 

_They're usin’ fuckin’ bombs._

 

McCree looks at Hanzo who also seems to have been caught off guard, and they both stare at the smoke cloud a little longer before a voice shouting over the communicator forces them out of their shock.

 

 _“They have bombs?! Ain't that a little extreme?!”_ McCree has to agree with Lucio on some level, but a part of him knows that when it comes to winning a fight and taking out the enemy, anything goes no matter how insane or life-threatening. Even the cowboy had to use a bomb or two himself during his years of fighting, so he isn't really surprised to know that Talon has a few of their own. Seeing one in action after so long however, it's still shocking and a little unsettling since McCree knows that him and his teammates are on the receiving end.

 

 _“This is war kid. Anything goes when you're up against a capable enemy.”_ The gunslinger sighs at the cold tone Jack is giving the DJ, but as he already stated, he also has to agree to that on some levels. He just kind of wishes the old soldier would lay off the commanding personality for a change and be a little gentler (but he knows why that's likely to never happen, saw firsthand the different situations that made Jack into what he has become after the fall of the original Overwatch). But McCree doesn't have time to dwell on the former strike commander's attitude as another building is destroyed via bomb, this one closer than the last. It's as unnerving as the first time, and the second collapsing building is starting to make the man think about a number of unnecessary scenarios. He can imagine them all, one of his teammates getting caught in the blast before the building even falls or one of them ending up trapped under a pile of rubble and being crushed. It makes McCree feel a stab of fear at the new and unwanted possibilities, and he hopes they won't have to return to the base with less members than they left with.

 

Another bomb going off a few buildings over makes the stab of fear grow, and McCree feels his breath catch at the proximity. The loud crashing and breaking of the building overtakes the sounds of gunfire briefly, and the cowboy is seriously debating telling Jack to order a tactical retreat at this rate. The scenarios in his head are starting to look like they'll become reality at the rate Talon is setting off the bombs, and McCree doesn't even want to fathom how badly injured anyone of his friends will end up (or worse, dead under a pile that used to be a seven floor apartment, covered in burning ash and broken concrete). Thankfully, he doesn't seem to be the only one who's wary of the many outcomes as he hears Ana speak on her end of the line.

 

 _“The city is starting to look like an actual war zone. We need to get out of here before one of us ends up getting caught by one of those bombs.”_ McCree hears Lucio and Reinhardt (who sounds reluctant but convicted) agree with her over the communicator, but as usual, Jack isn't having any of it.

 

 _“We've already come this far, there's no point in retreating now. We just have to hold on a bit longer.”_ The gunslinger really wants to argue that any longer and one of them might never make it back to the watchpoint, but Ana seems to have that part covered as well.

 

 _“Any longer and we risk losing team members. This fight has already proven to us that Talon has us outnumbered and are in possession of very dangerous weapons. Retreating now will give us a chance to regroup and figure out a strategy for next time.”_ The line falls silent after that, Jack apparently making no attempt to counter Ana and enforce his decisions. McCree can practically feel the tension of everyone waiting, even as the sounds of fighting and explosions continue to take place around all of them. The cowboy is afraid that the old soldier is going to say that they should keep fighting no matter what, and he's almost positive those are the words McCree is going to hear as the communicator crackles to life. He's both relieved and pleasantly surprised when the next thing that Jack says isn't an order for them to ignore the blasts and keep fighting.

 

 _“Let's get out of here then. Everyone, back to the carriers! We're retreating!”_ McCree smiles at the whoop of triumph he hears from Lucio and now with the new order, he begins going towards the area they came from. The gunslinger smiles when he sees Hanzo jumping from roof to roof just to the side of him, moving in the same direction while still picking off enemies. Gunfire is still going on around them, but the noises have lessened and seem to be moving along with them as well. As a precaution, McCree tunes into the line and makes sure everyone got the message.

 

“Genji, are ya on yer way ta the carrier?” He doesn't have to wait long for an answer, and the knowledge that his friend is safe makes McCree smile despite the battle still going on.

 

 _“Currently making my way there. In fact, with the way things are going, I should arrive there before you do.”_ The cowboy huffs at the challenging words, but he doesn't try to combat them. Now isn't the time for their usual carefree banter (even if they did the same thing some time ago during the fight), so McCree leaves it at that. Instead, he focuses on getting to the carrier alive and in one piece so he doesn't have to feel the wrath of Angela when they get back. He takes out any Talon members that stand in his way, wondering just how many he'll have to go through before they can fly away scott-free. The man hopes he won't run out of bullets before he reaches the plane, but at the rate McCree's going and the amount of enemies standing between him and his goal, he'll leave with enough bullets to take down a few more Talon members if he needs to. He just has to make a few more turns, another mad dash across the street, and into the woods where the carrier they arrived in will be waiting. The gunslinger thinks he shouldn't have put so much distance between him and the safe house (even if the battle had already started so there was no longer any point for its use), but he did and it's turning out to be a rather stupid idea. Thankfully, McCree's close to the road that he has to cross (Hanzo still running just a little bit ahead of him while still on the roof since the older man decided to stick with him the entire time), and it's just a few steps until-

 

A building in front of them blows up.

 

The sound and impact is so sudden that McCree jumps at the proximity and nearly falls flat on his face by how fast he tries to stop. He was thankfully too far for the debris from the blast to reach, but the building itself is starting to tilt towards him. The cowboy figures that staying where he currently is would get him crushed by the crumbling apartment building, so he backtracks and begins running away from his destination. McCree ends up killing a few enemies in his way that were no doubt chasing him, and luckily manages to keep himself from getting crushed. He stares at the pile of smoking rubble with both relief and fear, and the adrenaline now coursing through him is so loud that the man almost doesn't hear the loud voice of Jack over the communicator.

 

 _“Was that explosion close to anyone? Is everyone alright?”_ McCree nods once before realizing he has to verbally announce his status, and he's quick to lift a shaky hand to press the button and reply.

 

“Almost got me, but I'm alright. Got out of the way ‘fore I got caught up in it.” The younger man now thinks that he should start going around the burning rubble and try to find a different route, but the sudden realization that there is a lack of one _Hanzo_ running across the rooftops makes him pause. McCree's eyes scan the different buildings around him, hoping he'll see a flash of gold or a head popping up over the railing. When he doesn't see anything, fear begins to grip tighter at the gunslinger's chest and he presses the button again.

 

“Hanzo, where are ya? Did ya get hit?” The lack of a response causes the fear to turn into panic, and McCree starts walking slowly towards where he last saw the way the older man was heading. He keeps his eyes peeled and his senses sharp despite almost every fibre of his being screaming at him and throwing different painful scenarios the man's way. The cowboy figures he should try again, fingers that are still trembling pressing the button again in hopes that he'll receive an answer this time.

 

“Hanzo, are ya alright? Did ya get hurt?” McCree waits with baited breath as he continues walking, but just as the panic is close to taking over and he begins screaming into the communicator, a familiar gruff voice speaks into his ear.

 

 _“I am alright. The force of the blast simply knocked me off of the building.”_ The sigh of relief escapes the younger man so fast that he almost falls to the ground right then and there. But McCree doesn't know Hanzo's exact location, so he continues moving through the various alleyways in an attempt to locate the other man. The gunslinger ignores Jack screaming into the communicator for the most part, focused only on finding the archer, and it takes him a good while before he manages to locate Hanzo. His earlier comment of ‘I'm alright’ seems to be valid at a glance, but then McCree spots the gash on the other's side. Quickly, he makes it over to the older man and begins inspecting how bad the wound is, ignoring the shocked expression Hanzo has at his sudden appearance. One look at the new wound and the gunslinger knows the assassin will have to pay Angela a visit (already had to, but now with more urgency). The cut may not be very big, but it is rather deep, blood bubbling out and cascading down flesh and onto Hanzo's kyudo-gi. It's no doubt painful and will make moving rather difficult, but McCree be damned if he ends up leaving the elder Shimada behind at a time like this.

 

“I got Hanzo. He's a little injured, but he can still move. Be there soon.” The man doesn't even listen for any confirmation from his teammates as his focus is now fully on getting them both out alive. Briefly taking in his surroundings to make sure there are no Talon agents, the younger man stands and holds out his hand for Hanzo to take. The other man does so without question or hesitation, wincing and stumbling a little as the wound pulls and contracts at his movements. Neither give it any thought as they begin running again, managing to make it out of the alleys and onto the road they have to cross before they can reach the forest. A quick look puts their team at a disadvantage, even with the other Overwatch members trying to take out as many enemies as they can. Each of them have various scrapes and bruises because of the battle, and that alone makes the two men hurry in their urgency to leave the city. Ignoring the Talon agents, McCree and Hanzo manage to make it to the others without getting hit by an enemy bullet. When Jack notices them, he motions for everyone to retreat out of the city and away from the fighting.

 

“Let's go! Move!” No one protests as they make their way to the carriers, Reinhardt holding up his shield long enough for everyone to safely make it aboard the planes they arrived in. Athena takes off the moment every agent is accounted for, and they all let out a collective sigh when they've gotten a safe distance from the city. McCree slumps in his seat, thankful for the brief rest as Lucio plays his music while tending to everyone's wounds. His focus is currently on Hanzo who winces and grits his teeth against the new pressure on his still bleeding side, but the archer doesn't say anything to show his discomfort. Lucio still apologizes nonetheless, and his frown becomes even more prominent when they hear Jack over the communicator for the last time that day.

 

 _“We're coming back Winston. Everyone's alive, a few with injuries that Angela will need to look at, but nothing too major. The mission… we lost.”_ The words hit hard for everyone, even for McCree who knew that there were some fights you just didn't win. It had been made obvious after the battle began that they would need a miracle to win against Talon, but the cowboy still hoped that just maybe they'd win and create more problems for the enemy. That didn't happen, but he can at least count them all lucky none of them had to fly back in critical condition or worse. Winston seems to also share his sentiment.

 

 _“As long as everyone is safe then that's all that matters. We'll go over what happened after you all return.”_ The line cuts out and those on the carriers are left to their own thoughts during the ride, no one saying a word the entire time. Most are already thinking about what they're going to do when they arrive back at base while others just stare off into space, not really processing anything until the carrier jerks and signals it's landing. McCree is among the few who aren't sure what to do when he steps off the plane, looking around at the grim faces and wondering if he should bother with food. His gaze catches Hanzo who is being ushered away by Angela and Lucio, no doubt needing medical treatment for the deep cut on his side. McCree doesn't move to follow (since the doctor prefers no distractions and she'll no doubt require he visit the infirmary as well later), but he does find it odd when he notices Genji standing next to him instead of following after his brother. The gunslinger stares at the ninja for a while, prompting him to explain since he knows the other man can feel his gaze. It works just enough for Genji to look at McCree, but he still says nothing. Just when the older man is about to take his leave, the cyborg breathes deeply and turns to fully look at his friend.

 

“Thank you for being there for him.” McCree is a little taken aback at the words, and it shows with his wide eyes and stuttered response.

 

“I… I mean, yer welcome and all but… I didn't really do anythin’ worth thankin’.” Genji vehemently shakes his head at the words.

 

“You were there to watch out for him when he was hurt. That is enough for me to warrant a thank you.” McCree finally realizes the younger Shimada is referring to him getting Hanzo back after he was hit by the rubble, and he smiles as warmly to Genji as he can.

 

“Anytime partner. I ain't about ta let him kick the bucket just yet.” The ninja nods and takes that as his moment to leave the hangar and go do his own thing for now. McCree just watches, thinking about the words that rested on the tip of his tongue that he'd probably never be able to say: _I like him too much to let him go now._ Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, the cowboy leaves the hangar and heads for his room, deciding a nice, long bath is in order. McCree also mentally lists out his next activities, washing his clothes (and also mending whatever needs to be fixed in case anything got ripped), getting some food, then finally cleaning and fixing his gun. Training and stuff like that have been banned by his own self because the man figures he's done enough exercise on that one mission to last him three days, five at most. So he goes along the mental list, taking his time with each task, and checking them all off by the time eleven rolls around (having visited the infirmary somewhere in there). McCree isn't the least bit tired despite all the activity that happened, so he thinks that maybe a quick stroll around the base will help. The man walks the hallways without a destination, not surprised in the least at the lack of people roaming the watchpoint at night (since most of them are no doubt asleep or staying respectively in their rooms), and he wonders briefly how Hanzo is doing. The elder Shimada has most likely been healed by now, and if McCree had to guess, the other man is either in his room or just outside the base. The gunslinger wonders if he should bother checking, not sure if Hanzo even wants to see anyone at the moment, but he thinks a quick walk outside just to see for himself won't hurt. When McCree makes it outside, his first instinct is to head for the lone tree and look out at the water. His next thought is to look up at the roof in search of the archer, but that idea goes ignored since he's already found what he was looking for.

 

He finds Hanzo under their tree, only this time, Genji is also there. They seem to be in a heated argument and McCree wonders if he should get closer and try to remedy the situation. The cowboy isn't quite sure what there is to argue about, especially after what happened on the mission and the cyborg's words in the hangar, but it's happening nonetheless. Thankfully, all that seems to be flying are words (that he sadly can't hear since he's too far away), and McCree decides that he won't get involved unless fists start going with them. It proves to be the right decision since he watches as Genji places a hand on Hanzo's shoulder (and it surprisingly doesn't get shrugged off) and whispers something that makes the older man calm down. A few more words are exchanged and both seem to have reached a consensus on whatever it was they were arguing about since Genji turns to leave. He stops short when he spots McCree who gives a shy wave and mentally berates himself for not walking away to give them privacy when he had the chance. The gunslinger's presence appears to be unwanted since Hanzo's head suddenly whips around to look at him (no doubt having been informed by his brother of their new visitor) and his scowl worsens. It immediately lessens after Genji seems to say something before the ninja is walking towards McCree. When they're right next to each other, the younger man stops and turns his head slightly.

 

“Did you hear anything?” The cowboy shakes his head, sincere in his answer, and it seems to be enough for Genji who nods approvingly.

 

“He is waiting for you.” The younger Shimada doesn't seem to want to elaborate or hear whatever it is McCree has to say to that since he starts walking back towards the watchpoint and doesn't stop. The gunslinger watches him go for a few seconds before turning towards Hanzo who's back is now facing him, the other man watching the water instead of looking at McCree. Said man finds it a little unnerving, especially after hearing what Genji had to say, but he walks closer until they're standing beside each other and staring at the water. Silence surrounds the two, save for the crickets and few birds making their presence known. McCree finds it rather soothing on his flaring nerves, and in an attempt to break the ice, the man clears his throat before he speaks.

 

“Ya holdin’ up alright? Nuthin’ in pain?” His eyes shift from the water to the older man next to him, and the cowboy is relieved when his questions aren't met with silence.

 

“I am doing fine. Doctor Ziegler made sure I was completely healed, otherwise I would still be in the infirmary.” McCree nods his head, happy to know that Hanzo is in no way hurt.

 

“What about you? How are you holding up after what we went through during the mission?” The younger man bites his lip at the questions, knowing that today is the reason he isn't at all tired at the moment. His mind is still working with too much activity, and he has a feeling Hanzo is in the same boat. Sighing softly, McCree removes his hat long enough to run his fingers through his hair before he answers.

 

“Physically, I can't complain. Gonna be sore, but that's ta be expected. Mentally… let's just say sleep doesn't look possible right now.” The assassin gives a knowing hum and they delve into silence once again, the younger man wondering if he should ask about what it was that the brothers were arguing about before he came outside. McCree doesn't want to pry and step over a boundary he still can't cross with Hanzo, but if he thinks there's a chance he can help with something that what little family is left just can't then he wants to try and fix it. He soon realizes he might not have to since Hanzo suddenly takes on a commanding tone and stops any ideas of asking him what he is becoming aggravated over.

 

“McCree. There is something I must tell you.” The gunslinger looks at the elder Shimada expectantly, silently waiting for whatever it is that appears to be rather important, given how Hanzo is stalling and still frowning. The older man opens his mouth, but it closes just as quickly while his eyes glare harshly at the water. McCree is now really starting to feel worried about the other man who apparently refuses to look his way no matter how scrunched his face becomes. Hanzo then takes a deep breath, still not meeting McCree's gaze as he finally says something.

 

“I… I want to tell you that… for days I have…” He continues to start over every time, never finding the right words and apparently getting more frustrated because of it. The archer growls, head whipping up to look at McCree who had placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

 

“Take it easy partner. Ya ain't gotta hurt yerself over whatever it is yer tryin’ ta say.” Even though the younger man was trying to help, Hanzo's face doesn't relax and he just seems to scowl more. The cowboy is about to suggest they go inside and the older man tell him tomorrow, but he doesn't even get a single word out before a hand gets a strong grip on his shirt. McCree doesn't have time to react as he's pulled down and receives the shock of a lifetime.

 

Hanzo is kissing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet y'all are screaming with excitement since it finally happened.


	18. A Positive Outcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE NOTES, THEY ARE IMPORTANT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm just going to put it out there that I had this chapter written already but refrained from publishing it because I'm not very proud of how it turned out. It's a far cry from how I had originally intended this story to go, and in my opinion, it deviates from the tone of the other chapters. But I didn't have the time to rewrite it and also thought that despite what I think, you guys might enjoy it.
> 
> And I wrote that in the summary because this is almost a repeat of what happened last chapter.

_A few hours earlier:_

 

“Alright, you're now fully healed, but I advise you refrain from anymore strenuous activity for today. You need your rest.” Hanzo wants to scoff at the orders, but he instead silently nods his understanding at the doctor's words. His gaze continues to linger on the new pink scar on his side where the gash used to be, the assassin never bothering to make eye contact with Angela who is running a few more tests to make sure she didn't miss anything. When the doctor is satisfied with her results, she dismisses Hanzo and makes a comment about how she'll need to check the others for any damage they may have sustained. The man leaves the infirmary, deciding he should get to fixing and washing his clothes before he does anything with his arrows and bow. It'll take Hanzo far longer to clean and fix his weapons, so that should be the last thing he does. The mental list he's made is meant to keep him busy and occupied, a welcomed state to distract him and keep the archer from remembering what happened on the mission. It'll also keep Hanzo in his room for most of the time he still has left until the day is over, something he wanted since the man doesn't really have the desire to see anyone at the moment. Hanzo would rather be left alone, and that's what is going to happen.

 

The first item on his mental list goes rather smoothly since the mending was done in his room along with a quick shower afterwards. There was thankfully no one to disturb him in the base laundromat, and Hanzo's clothes were cleaned in silence, save for the hum of the washer and dryer he used. The cleaning and fixing of the elder Shimada's bow and arrows was far more demanding, blood caked on nearly every surface and wedged into the small cracks that he could barely reach. His arrow stock had been drained by a saddening amount, and Hanzo had a feeling he would need to get more parts in order to replace the number of arrows he lost in the fight. But that would have to be done another time because cleaning demanded his attention first, and if he had to then the assassin would spend the entire night getting rid of every speck of blood.

 

Hanzo does this for close to three hours before there's a knock on his door. The man would normally choose to ignore it and continue his task, but the voice talking on the other side of the door makes him pause and listen.

 

“Hanzo, I have brought you dinner. I figured you would probably want to be left alone, but you should still eat, otherwise Angela will get mad.” Hanzo thinks on the words for a moment, and after a sigh, he reluctantly stops cleaning the arrow in his hand long enough to get up and open the door. Genji is standing just outside with a tray of food (no doubt ordered from the computer since it's a traditional Japanese meal), and he slightly pushes it towards the older man expectantly. Hanzo's gaze goes between the tray and his brother for a few minutes, but he soon relents and allows Genji inside so he can set the tray down next to the two piles of arrows. The older man doesn't say anything in greeting or thanks, just goes back to cleaning while ignoring the food and his brother. Genji didn't really expect anything to happen when he showed up, but it's still somewhat upsetting to see Hanzo acting like he is, distant and cold.

 

Much like he did when he first arrived at the base. The ninja is hoping he can change that.

 

“Do you need any help?” The elder Shimada doesn't seem to hear him as he continues cleaning the same arrow in silence, but he still manages a reply despite not looking at the younger Shimada.

 

“No. I can manage.” The words are stiff and laced with ice, something that almost causes Genji to flinch. He manages to hold it in, and just silently waits to see what Hanzo will do if the younger man doesn't leave. The archer doesn't really do anything besides cleaning his arrows, not bothering to touch the food that has begun to get cold or force Genji to leave his room since it's apparent he didn't want any company. The cyborg isn't really sure what to do, and he tries to come up with something that will help sooth his brother. Problem is, he can't think of anything that will make Hanzo feel better or ease his mind, so he settles for bringing up their conversation they had on the roof in Germany. It most likely won't help calm the elder Shimada, but it will give him something else to think about (even if it's also a topic that the other man doesn't want to talk about or have on his mind).

 

“Are you now willing to tell me why you think you are undeserving of Jesse?” Even though he refrained from doing so earlier, Genji does flinch at Hanzo suddenly halting in his efforts to clean off a rather tenacious speck of blood, and the tensing of the older man's shoulders causes the ninja to brace himself. Neither move for a few minutes, and just as Genji begins to think he should leave before he crosses a line, Hanzo's hand begins moving again as though nothing happened. His words say otherwise.

 

“I thought I told you to let it go.” Genji knows he should, knows he shouldn't push his brother any more considering his current mood, but the younger Shimada refuses to let the assassin continue to think he doesn't deserve someone like McCree.

 

“I will when you explain to me why you will not tell Jesse.” The arrow suddenly being slammed onto the floor makes Genji inhale sharply, but he doesn't back down, even when Hanzo begins viciously glaring at the younger man. They stay like that for awhile, neither moving or saying anything, and it seems to be too much for the archer who growls then stands. The cyborg half suspects his brother is going to throw him out of his room, but is immensely surprised when Hanzo is the one who leaves his room, arrows and food completely forgotten as he walks away. Genji thinks he should really drop the topic about his brother's feelings for McCree, but now that he's gotten this far in trying to get the assassin to open up, he won't stop now. So he goes to follow Hanzo, not getting too close but tailing behind just enough that he won't lose the older man who is walking rather fast. There are a few Overwatch members who pause when they see the brothers (a couple turning and walking the other way when they notice how enraged one of the Shimadas has become), but none question what's going on and Genji internally thanks them for it. He doesn't have time to stop and explain as he continues following Hanzo who is now leaving the base and walking outside. The ninja doesn't know what to expect, and he thinks that maybe the elder Shimada is going to go into town to cool off (despite how dark it is, and most of the stores are probably closed). He's surprised when the archer's destination is a lone tree, and Genji has to pause for a moment because that certainly wasn't what he was expecting. But Hanzo just stands by the tree and watches the water gently sway and wave, not bothering to look at the younger man who still doesn't move. Genji doesn't know what to say now, has no idea if he should even get closer, but he's saddened when he hears Hanzo start muttering under his breath.

 

“Why can't you just leave me be? Why do you always insist on pushing your way into my affairs?” The cyborg sighs at the words, and thinking it's worth a chance, he walks closer as he comes up with an answer.

 

“Because I want you to be happy, anija. Leaving things how they are now will only hurt you later.” He had thought that would calm Hanzo, if just a little, but it proves to do the opposite when the other man's voice becomes louder.

 

“And what makes you so sure I _won't_ be hurt if I try to change things?! Never telling McCree how I feel is something I can live with, but I will not set myself up for a rejection I _know_ will happen!” Genji flinches at the words, and even though he wanted to remain calm during this entire conversation, the younger man is starting to realize that might be a pointless and futile endeavor. It's already been pointed out that Hanzo responds more positively to a bit of hard prodding, so if that's what the ninja has to do in order for his brother to listen, then that's how it's going to be. Genji just hopes that by the end of their argument, he won't lose what progress they had made in fixing their relationship.

 

“Jesse is my friend! You may think you can go forever not telling him, but he will figure it out eventually! And if he does end up rejecting you like you think he will then wouldn't you prefer to get it over with?!” Hanzo practically snarls at him, fury laced in every part of his being as he continues to try and make his point clear.

 

“If he has not already figured it out thanks to your constant hints then he never will! What I fail to see is why you think I even deserve to tell him in the first place!” The words remind Genji of their talk on the rooftop, and now with the topic back out in the open, he can say his thoughts and tell the assassin what he wanted to before the battle began.

 

“Because you _do_ deserve to tell him! Despite what you believe, you are allowed happiness, a happiness Jesse can give you! Why do you always insist that you can not-!” The cyborg can't finished his thought because Hanzo decides he's heard enough, and he cuts off the rest of the sentence by shouting the reason he's so reluctant to tell McCree how he feels.

 

“I am a _murderer_! I have killed far too many, including you, to be allowed any form of happiness, especially from someone like McCree! You may think I can be allowed redemption, but I… a killer who would strike down his own kin does not deserve to be happy.” The last of his words are growled out through clenched teeth, and Hanzo finally looks away from the younger man. Genji feels his heart seize at the sight of his pained and emotionally choked brother, and in the hopes that he will be able to comfort the elder Shimada and finally make him feel some semblance of peace, the ninja places a hand on Hanzo's shoulder and speaks in their native tongue.

 

“私はあなたに許してくれたと言ってくれました。私の許しを得て、自分が平和を見つけることを望んでいました。あなたは私の兄弟であり、私の友人です。あなたが何百万回もあなたを許す必要があれば、私は喜んでくれるでしょう。” The words seem to do the trick as the older man finally calms down, and Genji swears his brother is about to cry with how moist his eyes look. The archer doesn't though, and with a shaky breath, he looks at the younger Shimada with a pained expression.

 

“You are a fool.” It doesn't hold as much heat as it usually does (definitely not as much as the screamed words did earlier), and even though Hanzo can't see it, the other man smiles behind his mask.

 

“That may be true, but I only want to help you, anija. You were hurt today, and though it pains me to say, you could potentially end up worse during another mission. That is why you must promise me you will tell Jesse when you next see him. We both know regret can be a terrible burden.” Even though it takes a moment, the assassin nods and accepts the younger man's terms. Genji smiles wider, happy to know that the older man will let his feelings for McCree be known the next time they see each other. Knowing he's accomplished what he set out to do, the cyborg turns to leave, only to stop short when he sees the very person they basically started their argument about. When McCree notices he's been spotted, he gives Genji a shy smile that's accompanied by a wave, and the younger Shimada almost has to wonder what caused this timing to occur.

 

_Must be fate._

 

“It seems you will have to do so sooner than you expected.” Hanzo's head snaps around so fast that it's a miracle he doesn't get whiplash, and when he sees McCree, his frown worsens because the cowboy was not supposed to be there. He was not supposed to show himself so soon, not when the elder Shimada hadn't even figured out what he was going to say yet. Genji knows this, and he tries to comfort his brother before he leaves them alone.

 

“You will be fine, anija. It will be alright.” The words do the trick for Hanzo who relaxes as he repeats them in his head. Knowing he should come up with something to say when he's alone with McCree, the archer turns back around to look at the water as he listens to Genji's soft steps on the grass. They stop for a moment before he hears words that he sadly can't make out, only to resume and finally walk out of earshot. Soon though, another pair, much heavier and making too much noise, start to approach Hanzo who still has no idea what he's going to say. His mouth stays clamped shut, even when McCree is standing right next to him, and the assassin didn't think that confessing would ever be such a nerve wracking experience (even though he should have seen it coming considering how he felt when he first figured out his feelings, and has never done this before in his life). He knows he should say something, but every time he thinks of opening his mouth to talk, a lump forms in his throat, and it takes remembering Genji's words to make it disappear. Hanzo's close to breaking his promise to his brother about telling McCree how he feels because why should he have to confess minutes after arguing with the younger Shimada about this very situation. The archer thinks he should have been allowed some time to get his thoughts together, but instead, the gunslinger decided to find them (and the older man thinks he shouldn't be that surprised about it considering the events of the mission) and ruin any chances of that happening.

 

Thankfully, McCree being the man he is, clears his throat and opts to start a conversation that isn't about what the brothers were arguing over.

 

“Ya holdin’ up alright? Nuthin’ in pain?” Hanzo wants to sigh in relief at the questions, but he refrains from doing so and instead, shifts his focus from confessing to their current topic.

 

“I am doing fine. Doctor Ziegler made sure I was completely healed, otherwise I would still be in the infirmary.” He doesn't look at McCree for any confirmation that he was heard since the older man knows he'll most likely run away if he so much as glances at the cowboy, so he decides to keep the conversation going with questions of his own.

 

“What about you? How are you holding up after what we went through during the mission?” Hanzo is met with silence in the beginning, but he figures McCree is just taking his time with his answer. He proves to be correct when he notices a bit of movement in his peripheral and hears a sigh from the other man.

 

“Physically, I can't complain. Gonna be sore, but that's ta be expected. Mentally… let's just say sleep doesn't look possible right now.” The assassin gives a hum in understanding, knowing the implication behind those words and how it feels to be robbed of sleep by shadows and memories. Sadly, they seem to reach a lull in the conversation and stand in silence once again, Hanzo knowing that sooner or later, he'll have to confess. His mind works to try and come up with some way he can tell McCree how he feels, and after he thinks enough time has passed, that it's now or never, the older man gives them a reason to stay by the tree for a little bit longer.

 

“McCree. There is something I must tell you.” After he says those words, Hanzo can feel the patient gaze of the gunslinger, and it's torture. Despite what he said, the elder Shimada still can't find the right words to convey his feelings, and it shows in the way he opens his mouth only to close it after a few seconds. The archer glares at the water, some part of him wishing it would either give him the correct words to say or just swallow him whole right then and there. Finally, he thinks he should at least try to say something, collecting his thoughts be damned, and Hanzo hopes that just talking without a plan will get his point across.

 

“I… I want to tell you that… for days I have…” It proves difficult to come up with the right words no matter how many times he starts over his sentence, and the assassin can feel his frustration growing at not being able to confess properly. He growls in annoyance, and just when he thinks about giving up, a gentle touch on his shoulder makes Hanzo whip his head up to look at McCree whose face shows concern.

 

“Take it easy partner. Ya ain't gotta hurt yerself over whatever it is yer tryin’ ta say.” Something about the words hurt the elder Shimada because that was the very thing he was doing when he first found out he had feelings for the cowboy. His chest ached with the knowledge that Hanzo would never be able to tell McCree how he felt, and it got worse the longer he held it in. Now being told he doesn't have to after he kept doing so for so long, the words are painful for the archer and he finally comes to a decision.

 

If he can't say how he feels, then maybe he can convey his desire through action.

 

Part of Hanzo isn't sure if he should, considering the many doubts he has concerning McCree's own feelings, but it's worth a try. He's already told Genji he would tell the cowboy, so breaking that promise now after already coming this far would be dishonorable.

 

But it'll be his first kiss, and he sadly can't attest to the other man's experience with  contact of the lips (even though he knows McCree has been in relationships before). However, now isn't really the time to worry about those things, and Hanzo knows it's now or never. So before he has a chance to back down or run from the situation, the assassin grabs the front of the younger man's shirt and pulls. The gunslinger looks understandably startled by the action, but the elder Shimada doesn't give him time to think. What little space is left between them after McCree is yanked forward is soon gone after Hanzo surges up, and finally, their lips connect. The older man is thankful he managed to kiss the other man's mouth and not his beard, but it's far from perfect and is only slightly pleasant. McCree smells (and somewhat tastes) like his cigars and alcohol obsession, and coupled with his almost chapped lips, it's definitely not the best first kiss Hanzo was kind of hoping for. It's not the best, but not entirely the worst either. The cowboy's lips are surprisingly softer than one would imagine, and his beard tickles just slightly, enough to make the assassin's lips twitch in the corners as he holds back a small smile.

 

But he knows it has to end, especially since something in the back of his mind is telling him that McCree didn't respond (something that makes Hanzo's heart ache and throb). He pulls away, retrieving the hand that held a death grip on the other man's shirt, and he takes in the expression on the gunslinger's face. It's mostly shock and surprise, along with a tint of pink dusting McCree's cheeks (barely there, but not invisible to the older man's eyes), and Hanzo wonders if it's only a matter of seconds before all of it turns into disgust and anger. He waits for as long as he can, body tensed and waiting for the verbal pain that is no doubt coming once the cowboy regains composure, and the archer berates himself for ever listening to Genji. This was a bad idea, leaving Hanzo by himself with the object of his affections and not giving the elder Shimada any advice or directions concerning this entire situation. Making the older man have to go through so much grief and anxiety before he managed to do _something_ to convey how he feels, Hanzo will be sure to get back at his brother in some way.

 

For now, he has to worry about ruining the friendship he had built with McCree who seems to be slowly coming back to himself. The assassin feels as though he should try to explain the kiss before the gunslinger manages to say anything about it, but the other man's constant staring is nerve wracking in every way. So Hanzo turns his gaze back towards the water, no longer willing to make eye contact. He's heavily debating walking away before McCree regroups, but the thought comes too late because the cowboy is already talking.

 

“Did we… was that… ya kissed me?” The elder Shimada would find the inability to form a full sentence a little funny and cute if not for the overwhelming desire to run and save himself from being called everything a person shouldn't. Words failing him at the moment, Hanzo slowly nods and it feels like torture, waiting for the moment their friendship crumbles to pieces. The archer is expecting McCree to lash out, maybe storm off angrily, but he's both surprised and mortified when all he hears from the other man is a one word question.

 

“Why?” It sounds soft and hard at the same time, as though the younger man is too stunned to be fully angry. Hanzo just bites his lip in an attempt to stall while he thinks up an excuse, and when he can't come up with one that sounds valid, he resigns to walking away from the situation entirely.

 

“There was no reason. Goodnight, McCree.” The assassin turns and begins walking, but he's only able to take a few steps before a hand is now gripping his wrist. Hanzo tries not to flinch away or lash out at the sudden contact, but he doesn't meet the gunslinger's gaze, even as he's pulled in an attempt to get him to turn around. McCree seems to settle for using words when the other man refuses to look at him.

 

“Now hold on. Ya don't kiss a man and expect him ta believe ya did it for no reason.” The grip on the archer's wrist tightens just slightly, and Hanzo can feel all of his emotions and instincts working against his body, trying to convince him to fight back or run. The older man listens to neither as he decides words are the better option no matter how overworked his brain currently is.

 

“Well that is how it is. Now if you will excuse me, I have things to attend to.” It's not really a lie since he never finished cleaning his arrows. More of an excuse to walk away without much guilt from the situation, but McCree apparently doesn't want to let Hanzo leave since he pulls the elder Shimada back whenever he tries to continue his walk of shame back towards his room.

 

“That's bullshit, partner, and ya know it. Now unless yer the type of man who'd kiss anyone just ‘cause he felt like doin’ it-” The assassin growls in anger at the implied accusation of being a loose man, but McCree ignores it in favor of continuing his interrogation (now with the knowledge that Hanzo _isn't_ the type of man to kiss someone simply because he could based on the aggressive reaction).

 

“-I’m gonna need ya ta explain ta me what that kiss meant. Until ya do, I ain't gonna let ya leave this spot.” The cowboy stays true to his word, grip never letting up no matter how much the elder Shimada pulls or threatens him. Neither are sure how long the struggle between them lasts, but after a long while has passed, Hanzo is the one who finally relents. He knows he can't dodge the questions forever, and McCree deserves to be told why he was just kissed by a man who used to hate him and vice versa. Having reached a conclusion, the archer sighs and turns just enough so he can look the younger man in the eyes when he explains his actions. The gunslinger is giving him a curious and expectant look, waiting patiently and fidgeting somewhat when Hanzo opens his mouth.

 

“The reason I did it… I kissed you because I…” It's turning out exactly the same way before the elder Shimada kissed McCree, and the older man curses his inability to easily convey anything other than anger and disgust. But he knows he has to eventually, and taking a deep breath, Hanzo closes his eyes and tells the cowboy how he has felt for a little more than a week.

 

“It happened because… I _like_ you, McCree.” Everything goes silent, even the animals who have apparently retired for the night much like the rest of Gibraltar. The only sounds left are the soft crashes of waves against the cliff and the wind gently blowing against the leaves that refrain from rustling too loudly. It's a silence that Hanzo dreads because now that he's explained his actions, there's nothing to soften the volume once McCree begins expressing his anger and becoming repulsed by the assassin. The long wait is absolute torture because the younger man still doesn't move immediately, taking his time and letting Hanzo silently break down into tiny bits as he continues to think of how many ways everything can go wrong. Finally, McCree makes a noise, something that sounds almost like a whine or a soft squeal, and the older man shuts his eyes tighter for what's about to happen.

 

“Do… do ya mean that? Ya ain't pullin’ my leg?” That saying, Hanzo has at least heard before, and with a small shake of his head, he tells the gunslinger that he is in fact not ‘pulling McCree's leg’ in any way.

 

“I do. I would not lie about this.” The elder Shimada was hoping that would be the last of the questions, and that they would finally be done and over with this whole fiasco. He just wants the younger man to hurry up, tell Hanzo how their friendship is over, and let him return to his room where he can collapse on his bed and think about his stupidity. McCree isn't about to let him do that just yet since he apparently still has more questions.

 

“When did ya figure it out? How ya felt ‘bout me?” The questions make Hanzo remember the day he realized how he felt, the dread that came with knowing what emotions were welling up inside him and for who. A couple of days before Genji had asked him to join the younger Shimada on the roof of the base, and the archer sighs at the memories that make him regret ever falling for McCree.

 

“The day after we apologized to each other. It started under the tree that night, but I didn't really notice until the next day.” The assassin, whose eyes are still closed, doesn't notice the small smile starting to spread on the other man's face at the confession, and before he has time to process what's happening, Hanzo is pulled closer into a hug. McCree's arms go under the older man's, hands resting on the elder Shimada's upper back so the gunslinger can pull him close and keep him there. The younger man's head goes to rest on a clothed shoulder, something that makes Hanzo tense and wonder what the position could possibly mean. This isn't what he had expected at all, a soft embrace from McCree who doesn't seem the least bit angry, and the archer is beyond confused. This is the opposite of what the older man thought would happen, and even though being held in the taller man's arms feels comforting in every possible way, Hanzo wants answers. He wants to know why he isn't being yelled at, why he's being hugged by McCree, but most importantly, the elder Shimada wants to know if this means that the cowboy feels the same way or is at least flattered to know someone cares deeply for him.

 

Much to his surprise and delight, McCree doesn't keep him waiting for long.

 

“Hanzo… ya have no idea how happy I am ta hear ya say that. I thought… for so long I thought I didn't have a chance in hell, and now… ta know ya feel the same. I feel like I'm gonna pass out from all this.” Hanzo's eyes widen at the words, at being told that he isn't alone in his affections, and feeling a surge of confidence, he raises his hands to rest them on McCree's biceps. The assassin's fingers grip the fabric tightly, legs suddenly feeling like they might give out, and Hanzo releases a small, breathy laugh at the many emotions he's currently feeling.

 

“I too, feel as though I may faint. I did not think you would return my affections. I was so afraid of telling you, of being rejected, that I kept myself from saying anything. It took Genji yelling at me to finally work up the nerve to tell you.” McCree lets out a soft laugh against him, the air softly tickling the archer's neck, and the arms around him tighten just slightly.

 

“So that's what y'all were hollerin’ about out here. Was worried I'd have ta step in at some point, and keep ya from tearin’ each other apart.” Hanzo smiles just a little, and thinking he doesn't want the moment to end just yet, his hands grip as tight as they can. The cowboy doesn't seem the least bit annoyed, even appears to share the same sentiment as his grip also tightens, and they stay there for quite some time. No one bothers them, not even Genji (and the elder Shimada isn't sure if he decided to watch from a distance or allow them full privacy), and Hanzo just enjoys the closeness for as long as he can. That isn't to say he's not thinking about things, like what this means for him and McCree, what their label is now, what exactly does this new relationship entail for them. Even deeper thoughts that have him wondering if this will work between the two of them. The archer has never been with anyone romantically, and he knows that if given the chance, he may end up pushing McCree away. How the gunslinger will reply to Hanzo in a situation is anyone's guess, and it's been made plainly obvious that while he has enough patience to rival that of Zenyatta, he can still end up lashing out as well and reveal that heavy weight hanging at the end of his rope. The assassin views that as his main concern mostly, the chance that he'll push too hard and too far, and will end up regretting the choice to start something with McCree far more than he does now.

 

The cowboy seems to have the same concerns because despite the fact they're still hugging, he talks loud enough for the older man to hear with his breath ghosting over Hanzo's neck again.

 

“Hanzo… as much as I really don't wanna ruin the moment or anythin’... what are we?” The archer bites his lip, taking a moment to think on the words, and he takes the chance to bury his face in McCree's serape that smells faintly of detergent and the cheap alcohol the younger man enjoys.

 

“I was going to ask you that very thing. I am not sure what to do, really. As I stated before, I thought you would not feel the same as I.” The chuckle he gets in reply is deep and soft, and the older man feels a small jolt through his entire body because of it. To think, a little over a month ago, Hanzo wanted nothing to do with McCree and vice versa, and now he's getting chills just from the other man laughing. He has a feeling that if his younger self could see where he is now, wrapped up in the arms of a loud and ridiculous American, he'd scoff and sneer in disgust (while Genji would no doubt laugh his ass off because that would be a sight, his proper and uptight brother acting smitten over a scruffy man). Now though, if Hanzo had to choose between how he used to feel regarding relationships (which consisted of eye rolls and thinking they were wastes of time) and what he's going through at this very moment, the archer would want to stay where he is for the rest of his life. Sadly, it has to end at some point, and McCree lets Hanzo know that by pulling away just slightly so he'll get the message. Despite his reluctance, the older man does let go and pull away, wondering if he should remove his hands from their place on the gunslinger's arms as well. When McCree doesn't remove his, Hanzo lets his hands stay there as he watches the other man's face as he speaks.

 

“Well, considerin’ what just happened, and if I had ta come up with some way ta describe… whatever this is now… I guess I'd say we're datin’.” The elder Shimada feels something when the cowboy says the word ‘dating’, he isn't sure what exactly, but it's a nice feeling that he is no longer afraid to embrace. To show this, Hanzo lets his lips curve into a small smile that he swears makes the younger man blush.

 

“I concur. That does sound rather appropriate.” The happy grin that was already on McCree's face widens just enough that the assassin can't help but notice the creases by the corners of his eyes, but they're soon too close to see since the gunslinger is kissing him, the second one they've shared for the night with both parties now aware of what's happening. Hanzo doesn't mind in the least as he kisses back, fingers twitching with the urge to wrap around McCree's neck. He refrains from giving in, which the older man thinks was a wise decision since the kiss ends seconds later, and they return to watching each other. The cowboy's flesh hand reaches up to brush over the elder Shimada's cheek, thumb rubbing back and forth on the sharp bone he finds there, and a warm, borderlining goofy smile spreads on his face.

 

“Much more addictive than any alcohol.”

 

Hanzo just shakes his head with his own smile spread across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what Genji said (and I used Google translate, I'm sorry, but this is beyond what Japanese I know). If anything is wrong then please tell me.
> 
> ~Watashi wa anata ni yurushite kureta to itte kuremashita. Watashi no yurushi o ete, jibun ga heiwa o mitsukeru koto o nozonde imashita. Anata wa watashi no kyōdaideari, watashi no yūjindesu. Anata ga nan hyaku man-kai mo anata o yurusu hitsuyō ga areba, watashi wa yorokonde kurerudeshou.
> 
> Which roughly translates to:
> 
> ~I told you that I have forgiven you, and with my forgiveness, I was hoping that you would allow yourself to find peace. You are my brother and my friend, and if I must forgive you a million times, I will.


	19. A Healed Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they have some free time, Genji has something important that Hanzo needs to see. It goes far better than anyone would have expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How the hell did I write this much and still haven't reached the end of the story?
> 
> Someone save me... Or at least help with the chapter titles because here we go again, another bad one.

McCree stares up at the ceiling of his room, eyes unblinking as he remembers the events of last night, the confessions, the kissing. It was such a surreal moment (apparently for both men who were so shocked by what happened), so much that the man almost couldn't sleep. He's still trying to come to terms with everything, the fact that Hanzo not only kissed him, but returned an affection that, for the gunslinger, started a little after their blunder on the mission in Indiana. It only grew from that point, and McCree thinks that he should thank some invisible force for this chance because now, he doesn't have to continue dealing with an unrequited love any longer. The only problems he'll have to deal with now concern keeping their new relationship a secret from the other agents for now (with the exception of Genji, and maybe Zenyatta since the monk had gotten wind of the situation from his student), just until they've both gotten used to being with each other and sorted everything out. The two men would also stay in their respective rooms for the time being, maintaining a comfortable distance until they were sure both were ready to sleep in the same bed. And even though McCree was against it at first, he relented rather quickly to Hanzo's rule of showing affection out in the open, something he stressed was meant to take place behind closed doors. The archer said it would take time for him to get used to the other man a little before they even tried any form of contact other than kissing (which the cowboy understood completely since he was still in shock over everything), and that's what led him to this morning.

 

Laying on his bed, not moving, and going through what he'll do when he walks into the dining hall. McCree has already decided to follow along with the illusion that he isn't a couple with Hanzo, so if they do find each other during breakfast, the younger man will continue his usual banter (will even act like the assassin isn't there if he has to, but that may be pushing it), and no one will be the wiser. A bonus is that McCree will get to spend a little bit of time with the older man before they all have to go debrief with Winston and take care of a few things that never got resolved after the battle. If he doesn't see Hanzo (the more likely scenario) then that's a situation he won't have to worry about (even if the man will be a little upset because of it), and he can eat without having to act like the gunslinger is trying to not reveal a secret.

 

So he waits a few more minutes (just to solidify the illusion that McCree slept in or simply didn't feel like getting up to face the day just yet) before he gets dressed and heads for the dining hall. He doesn't pass anyone in the hallways (didn't think he would), but the cowboy doesn't think much of it and just remembers his plan. The moment he walks through the doors, McCree realizes that he'll have to start acting like he's not a thing with Hanzo since he spots the older man sitting at a table with Genji and Zenyatta. The gunslinger also sees the table that consists of Fareeha, Ana, and Angela (none of them thankfully having spotted him yet), and he makes the split decision to sit at the table with the brothers and the omnic before anyone can call him over. The man knows that the security chief and sniper would no doubt want him to sit with them so they can make sure he's alright after the mission, but for now, he wants to avoid any talk about what happened in Germany as much as possible until the debrief. That's why when they do spot McCree walking towards the other table and try to wave him over, he just minutely shakes his head as he waves back with a small smile. All three seem a little confused and disappointed, but they accept the decision and go back to whatever it is they were talking about before while the gunslinger sits beside Zenyatta once he's at the table. No one seems surprised McCree has joined their little group, if anything, the atmosphere seems to grow lighter at the man's presence despite the lack of a reaction from the other three. Hanzo just continues eating (the younger man noticing his lips twitching in the corners) while Genji and Zenyatta continue their conversation over what McCree assumes is about incense sticks. The cowboy allows them to focus on their talk while he orders, and after he's started on his food, Genji decides it's time to include the other man in the conversation that is no longer about incense.

 

“So Jesse, I trust you slept well?” McCree can hear the teasing tone underlying the question (which he notices makes Hanzo twitch in response), and after giving the younger Shimada a small glare from under his hat, he smiles just enough to not look suspicious.

 

“I slept. Not well, but I slept. Night ain't exactly kind when yer trying ta recover from a shit mission.” Genji nods in understanding, but the gunslinger still catches the small head turn towards the assassin who is pretending he isn't paying any attention to their conversation. The older man just continues eating in silence, and the cyborg takes that as his cue to keep asking questions while avoiding the topic all four have decided is taboo to discuss about in public.

 

“Has Winston called everyone to attend the debrief?” McCree himself doesn't know the full details concerning the meeting they were going to have after everyone finished eating, but he thankfully doesn't have to answer since it seemed as though Zenyatta knew what was going to take place.

 

“All present agents have been called to participate. Winston wanted everyone's opinion on what to do regarding Talon’s involvement.” The cowboy nods his understanding, wondering what the final decision is going to be regarding Germany. He can't say for sure that the overall vote will be to leave it alone for now since he knows a few of the Overwatch members will want to get back at the enemy for the loss (Jack and Reinhardt no doubt being among those who will want payback), but McCree thinks he'll be fine with either choice. He definitely wants to repay Talon for the stunt they pulled with the bombs and nearly blowing up his friends (even if that made Genji give the final push Hanzo needed to confess as the elder Shimada explained last night after some talking), but the gunslinger will also understand if everyone chooses not to do anything until they have more intel about enemy activity in Germany. But he'll worry about the decision while he's at the debrief.

 

For now, McCree just wants to enjoy his food and the small glances he sneaks at Hanzo who, apparently, is doing the same thing.

\-----

The vote on what to do about Germany ended up with the majority opting to wait and gather details concerning Talon's activities within the country. The cowboy had figured out what the outcome would be halfway through the debrief as he took in the same looks most of the members were wearing, but he was surprised when Jack was also one of the voters who thought it was better to wait. McCree thinks it made sense because while the old soldier was more inclined to fight until the very end and use everything he could, he still knew when to take a moment to gather himself and come up with a more effective plan. The gunslinger wasn't opposed to the plan in the least, and after the meeting had ended, the man wondered what he could do to pass the time. Hanzo needed to talk to Winston regarding parts for his arrows (something McCree also needed to do since his ammo supply had dwindled considerably, but he'll wait until the excitement dies down and the scientist has less work to deal with), so that left the other man to do his own thing which was target practice in the training room. He didn't really have the energy to take on simulated enemies in the heat of battle, and this gave him a chance to pass the time while still keeping his mind occupied.

 

McCree just needed to remember this time that the gun provided by Overwatch wasn't made to fan the hammer.

 

Thankfully, he didn't end up scraping the metal of the gun as much as he did the last time he used it, and the gunslinger grinned to himself as he took out the robots. It was still a monotonous process with no real skill involved considering how long the man has been fighting and using a gun, but it gave him the chance to think about things and put them in order. Most of McCree's thoughts involved a certain archer who, apparently after getting everything off his chest (which, now that the younger man had gotten a better look, was very plump and sculpted like the rest of him), looked much better and less stressed. It was made more obvious after the cowboy was informed of another successful meditation session that Hanzo asked Zenyatta for, assuring the monk that the elder Shimada's mind was clear and that everything that ruined his earlier attempts was taken care of. Genji was practically over the moon about it, even seemed to be closer to the assassin then he had been before, and McCree couldn't believe how easily everything was falling into place. Despite the superstitions behind him thinking such a thing and what might happen in the near future because of it, the gunslinger can't help but think that things were going right for a change. Hanzo, who was cold and angry in the beginning, has started to mellow out and show more sides of himself that McCree finds cute and adorable. He's even started a romantic relationship with the cowboy despite giving him the cold shoulder in the beginning. And lastly, the archer's slowly mending ties to Genji who is no doubt thrilled to have his brother with him once again, but this time, they're free to do what they want without worrying about any consequences from their family.

 

_Could things get any better?_

 

McCree almost regrets thinking the question, but he's never really been big on superstitions and figures they've all been through enough atrocious things in their lives to warrant some small piece of sanctuary. He thinks Hanzo can be his and he can be the same for the older man, both of them being the embodiment of a happy place for the other, and if the younger man had to guess, the assassin wouldn't mind in the least. It would still be quite a while before that could happen though, as his partner has already pointed out, but McCree is willing to give the older man as much time as he needs considering everything they've been through. He didn't spend all that time silently pining with growing affection just to be impatient when the gravely important parts begin.

 

And being patient has always been one of the gunslinger’s strong points, something that proves effective at the right moments. Like now since his target practice is soon interrupted by a familiar voice speaking behind him.

 

“Now I see why you have such impeccable aim during the simulations. Repetitive movement is easy for you.” McCree turns his gaze to look at Hanzo, said man smirking with his arms folded over his chest (that still looks plump and sculpted, probably always will if he's being honest). The cowboy huffs at the jab to his shooting skills, and feeling like that deserves a jab in reply, the younger man places a hand on his hip and pretends to look put off.

 

“Now don't be dissin’ my aim after I've saved yer hide far too many times ta count. I can shoot more than just these robots, and ya know it.” The archer raises a single eyebrow, grin still on his face as he smoothly answers back with a light teasing tone.

 

“Altogether, it adds up to nine, ten if you count the entirety of the mission in Indiana, which I do not. Unlike you, I can count just fine.” McCree can only stare for a moment, dumbfounded and a little flattered (in a sort of weird way) to know that the older man was keeping track of the enemies the gunslinger killed who were after Hanzo. The younger man completely ignores the playful jab in favor of smirking and talking with a teasing tone of his own.

 

“Yer just full of surprises ain't'cha? Tell me, is there anythin’ that ya _can't_ do?” The elder Shimada pretends to think seriously about the question, and with a small shrug, he pulls one item from an imaginary list of the things he's never been able to do or hasn't done before.

 

“Fly a plane. Though that is more on the basis of _have not_ done.” It takes McCree a moment, but once the words have finally been processed through his brain, the younger man lets out a hearty laugh which makes Hanzo give a small smile that almost looks as though it isn't there. Thankfully for the cowboy, he can see it just fine.

 

“Well shit darlin’, that's kinda obvious ain't it? Hell, off the top of my head I think there's only a few here in Overwatch that can say they've flown a plane before. Lena is definitely at the top of that list.” The assassin opens his mouth to reply, but when the words roll inside of his mind once more, he catches something within one of the sentences that the older man has never heard directed at him before. Both confused yet intrigued, Hanzo foregoes continuing the little teasing game they started so he can ask about the word McCree said.

 

“Did you just call me darling?” The tone is neither angry nor repulsed, more leaning towards curious because he genuinely wants to know why someone like him would warrant the endearment of _darling._ The gunslinger pauses at the question, going over the words he had spoken in his head and soon realizing he did in fact call Hanzo something other than partner. Mortified and scared at how the other man will react to the petname, McCree's eyes go wide as he works on correcting his mistake.

 

“Oh, g-guess I did. Sorry ‘bout that, slip of the tongue. I won't use it again if it makes ya uncomfortable or-” The rambling apology he was about to continue on abruptly stops when a hand is gently placed on the younger man's arm, the archer looking far from angry and more worried about the negative reaction he's getting from asking about it. Hoping to ease whatever it is that's making McCree scared, Hanzo gives a small smile and speaks in a calm tone.

 

“You do not have to apologize, I was merely asking if I had heard you correctly. I have no qualms concerning the word. If anything, I am happy you are willing to call me as such.” The words make the cowboy stare for quite some time, brain having shut off not only because of the other man's smile, but because the elder Shimada didn't mind being called darling. McCree never pegged the older man as someone who enjoyed nicknames, let alone allowed them, but to know that he could use them and they were _liked,_ the younger man thinks he's died and gone to heaven. Putting on a smile of his own, the gunslinger brings up his hand (the gun now being held in his prosthetic hand) and holds Hanzo's own in a soft grip.

 

“Ya have no idea how happy it makes me ta hear ya say that, sweetheart.” The moment between them is tender and soft, both know it, and even though there's a little voice in the back of both of their minds saying they should slow down or pull away, neither really cares and just enjoys it for as long as they can. Both men do have to pull away at some point because while they're alone, they're still inside the training room in the watchpoint where someone could walk in at any moment (could've done so while they were talking earlier, and would have heard the practically flirtatious words the men were throwing at each other). So Hanzo lets his hand fall back to his side, McCree letting it go without a fight before his grip returns to holding the gun instead, and a sort of awkward silence settles between them (not really too embarrassing, but still a little uncomfortable since the moment was kind of over the top). The cowboy doesn't know whether he should return to target practice or come up with a different topic (doesn't know that the older man is debating leaving to go secure himself in his room), but they are thankfully saved when someone walks into the training room, that person being Genji who walks straight towards the two other men after spotting them. If he notices the small bit of tension in the air, he doesn't comment and just begins talking when the ninja is close enough.

 

“I was looking for you both. Rather, I was sent to fetch you on behalf of Hana, Lena, and Lucio.” The mention of the other agents makes Hanzo frown because whenever those three are involved, he's always roped into something he never enjoys. The elder Shimada can only imagine what they want this time, either more origami practice or another chance to beat the both of them at another pointless video game. He's almost scared to ask why they wanted Genji to come find his brother and best friend, and with a bit of courage since he knows he won't be the only one suffering, the assassin forces himself to find out their plans.

 

“Did they give you a reason as to why they needed you to fetch us?” Hanzo is almost afraid that the cyborg won't tell him as a way of teasing the older man, but he's thankfully proved wrong since the younger Shimada also appears to be slightly annoyed by the reason (not to the degree of his brother, but it's still evident).

 

“Origami.” By the tone, the archer can guess that Genji was roped into being part of the practice today when he'd rather be doing something else. It's a little amusing, seeing his now ever patient brother become annoyed by three younger agents who he has developed a friendship with, and it almost makes Hanzo willing to participate in the practice again. Almost.

 

“I refuse. As should you.” The elder Shimada pointedly looks at his brother, and judging by the posture of the ninja’s body, he wants to agree, but can't.

 

“I would, but it seems master is returning to Nepal for a few days. He is currently talking with Winston and Jack, so until he returns, I will have to find a different way to pass the time. Aside from meditation, of course.” McCree can almost see the dots connecting when he hears the words, and figuring training has officially been interrupted, he goes to put back the gun before asking Athena to turn off the robots.

 

“So that's why yer goin’ along with those three?” The younger Shimada nods once, and figuring it's better than doing nothing, the gunslinger slightly shrugs with a small smile.

 

“Well, I ain't got no problems with it.” Next to him, Hanzo rolls his eyes and lets out a soft scoff.

 

“Of course you do not. You will not be the one teaching them how to properly fold, and therefore, not the one who will become frustrated when they still can't understand after five tries.” McCree takes that as his turn to roll his eyes, and still wearing the smile, he softly bumps the older man with his elbow.

 

“Alright grumpy, just ‘cause we all can't be as perfect as ya don't mean we need it rubbed in our faces.” The elder Shimada huffs, bumping back with a little more force as he tries to hold back a smile of his own by keeping it as a frown.

 

“I am not rubbing anything in your faces. I just think that it shouldn't have to take me repeating myself so many times for someone to make a simple fold. Even you only needed to be shown twice.” The cowboy chuckles softly, hands going onto Hanzo's shoulders as he makes the decision that whether or not he wants to, the elder Shimada will go (because McCree can guarantee that in the end, the older man will cave and agree to teach origami). The assassin protests at first, saying that he still has things he should be doing despite all three of them knowing that statement is lie. Hanzo has already finished cleaning all of his bloodied arrows and bow, and the parts he asked for won't come in until later in the week. Because of that, he's off of missions for now, so he truly has nothing else to do other than training. When all of these points are brought up by both McCree and Genji, the elder Shimada huffs in annoyance, but quickly stops trying to get out of teaching the younger agents as well as the gunslinger. He goes along quietly, McCree trying to give him a little bit of an attitude boost by placing a small and quick kiss on Hanzo's cheek that no one but Genji sees, and it proves effective when the frown lessens. No one comments on the near invisible blush that spreads over the archer's cheeks (something the older man is thankful for), and it lasts all the way to the recreation room where Lucio, Hana, and Lena are already waiting. The table they're sitting at is practically covered with origami paper, the boxes they came in discarded on the floor, and the older man wonders who out of the six of them will end up being the maid.

 

Hanzo doesn't dwell on it for long as he feels the dread start to build once the younger members notice the room's new occupants. Lucio and Lena give them greetings while Hana just throws her hands up in the air with a look that's basically asking why it took so long to arrive. The elder Shimada narrows his eyes at her, but ultimately says nothing as he picks a chair, Genji and McCree sitting on either side of him. The practice and teaching starts when all of them have gotten comfortable, and not even five minutes after they've started, Hanzo is already starting to feel frustrated. Lucio can't seem to understand which way to fold the paper to make the dog's ear (yet he's already remembered most of the steps to make a frog, as demonstrated by him the moment they began) while Hana and Lena are both struggling with different sections of the rabbit. The assassin feels as though he might go insane (and he's becoming painfully aware of his lack of patience when it comes to being an instructor, had the same problem with his brother when they were still children), and he's grateful when Genji chooses to pick up the mantle when Hanzo becomes too annoyed. The older man is thankful that McCree seems to be far more competent concerning origami now than he had been before, and the cowboy barely needs any help or instructions anymore. Some folds still elude him, and the younger man can't remember some of the steps when he tries making certain animals, but the paper no longer rips in his grasp and the animals that the gunslinger makes with wings look far more symmetrical than they did the first time he practiced origami. Hanzo feels a small sense of pride at the cowboy's higher level of experience, and with Genji focusing on playing teacher for the time being, the older man decides to make a few origami animals of his own. He's careful about it, still unable to remember all of the steps right away, but it only takes him a couple of seconds to make a fold that the assassin would have otherwise completely forgotten had he never picked up the hobby again.

 

However, he became so caught up in making the animals that Hanzo was running almost on autopilot, and the slip up caused him to start the process of making a dragon. He was able to stop the moment the body was about to take shape, but the older man was still struck by a heaviness when he realized what he was doing. The archer began a debate in his mind concerning what to do with the piece of paper, whether he should start over and make a different animal or just trash the paper entirely and grab a new one. Part of him didn't want to reuse already folded paper since it would cause problems while he tried to make the new animal, but another part of Hanzo didn't feel right wasting paper that wasn't ripped no matter how many pieces they had on hand. He doesn't know how long he goes between the two ideas, but whether it's a blessing in disguise or his brother being his usual watchful self, the archer is saved from his internal argument when a metal hand gently touches his wrist. The elder Shimada looks at the cyborg in confusion, unsure as to why Genji is trying to get his attention (unless he wants Hanzo to help teach like he said he would). He doesn't get any words, just a quick jerk of the head towards the door that makes the assassin even more confused, but he agrees anyway by giving a small nod. The ninja is the first to stand, everyone but the elder Shimada turning to look at him with questioning gazes, to which he gives them a somewhat vague answer.

 

“Hanzo and I will return shortly. I need to talk to him about something.” No one protests in the slightest, only nod their understanding as they go back to origami practice, this time without any instruction. McCree is the only one whose gaze lingers on the brothers, mainly on the archer who can only give him a shrug in return. The gunslinger takes it without a fuss, and deciding to give the two Shimadas their privacy, he follows suit with the others and goes back to folding his paper. Genji and Hanzo go to leave, the older man thinking that his brother just wanted to talk outside the room for a moment. He's surprised and suspicious when the younger Shimada continues walking, not even bothering to explain where they're going or make sure the assassin is following him. He doesn't have to since Hanzo does anyway, but both refrain from speaking during the entire walk. The older man can't figure out what his brother is trying to do, but his suspicions grow when they make it to the area with the living quarters. Despite how much he wants to stop and question the cyborg, the elder Shimada keeps his mouth closed until they're standing in front of Genji's room.

 

“What are we doing here?” The younger man doesn't answer right away, doesn't even move, but after some time passes, he finally goes to open the door as he speaks.

 

“I wanted to show you something.” The door isn't even open yet, but Hanzo can already feel his heart begin to pound loudly in his ears. All the time he's spent with Overwatch, living in the watchpoint in Gibraltar, the archer has never once gone into Genji's room. Hell, he's only gone into McCree's room one time since joining the team, so as far as his brother who has basically returned from the grave is concerned, it makes perfect sense that Hanzo is just now stepping into the ninja's room. He's a little scared, and he isn't sure what to expect once inside the room, but the older man takes a deep breath that helps him not flinch when the door slides open. Genji understandably enters first without any hesitation, and after a couple of seconds, the elder Shimada moves to follow. Once he's passed over the threshold, Hanzo's eyes scan the room and take in everything he can. He's surprised, to say the least, at how clean and tidy the space is. Everything has it's own place in the room, nothing littering the floor and looking like a miniature disaster swept through everything in order to deposit all of Genji's belongings on the floor.

 

That's probably what hurts the most, is the overall difference between how his brother used to keep his room (messy with far too many items strewn about the floor), and the way it looks now after so many years (the floor visible and polished with everything put away and having it's own spot). It's painful, and in order to keep himself from running away because of the sadness he now feels, Hanzo focuses forward, gaze lingering on Genji who has stopped in front of a dresser. The assassin moves a little closer in order to get a look at what it is the younger Shimada wanted to show him, and stops short when he finally notices exactly what the cyborg is staring at.

 

Two origami dragons and a crane, a couple of them no doubt the ones the older man had made when they first started practicing the hobby again after so many years. He has no idea what they're doing on his brother's dresser (even though it makes a little sense since all of the animals they made that day disappeared from the table which made Hanzo think they went into the trash), and frankly, he wants some answers. The archer knows the green dragon and red crane are his, but the blue dragon that sits between them is far superior to the one he made during that day. It almost looks as regal as its brother, head standing tall and fierce, wings outstretched and ready to fly, and it makes Hanzo wonder if Genji had something to do with it. He wants to ask, but no sound escapes the elder Shimada's throat no matter how badly he wants to speak. Thankfully, the younger man is the one who talks first, fingers being placed on the dresser just in front of the blue dragon as though he wants to touch it but is afraid to do so.

 

“As you may have already figured out, I kept the dragon and crane you made. The blue one was my doing, though it unfortunately took far longer for me to reach the desired look then I would like to admit.” The ninja then lifts his hand from the dresser so he can grab the blue origami dragon, handling it with reverent care as he places it in the palm of his hand. Genji holds it out to face the elder Shimada who just continues to stare at the animal, even as the younger man goes back to explaining why he bothered making a blue dragon.

 

“I was going to wait to show it to you, after you were able to meditate on your own again, but recent events has made this the better moment.” The younger Shimada then walks closer until he's standing just a few inches away from his brother whose eyes still haven't left the animal. Genji sees Hanzo's fingers twitch, and he has to wonder if the older man is holding back the urge to take the blue dragon from his hands. The cyborg softly smiles behind his faceplate, and as a way of showing that he wants his brother to take the dragon, the younger man holds it out further so it sits right in front of the assassin. Hanzo hesitates for a brief moment, but eventually, he lifts his hands and reaches for the dragon. His movement is slow and careful as though the origami animal is an actual living creature that would fly away at the tiniest movement or noise, but Genji doesn't push the elder Shimada to hurry and take it. He lets the older man take his time until finally, Hanzo has plucked the dragon from his brother's hand and transferred it to his own. It sits comfortably on his palm, and just like earlier, the archer can't figure out what to say in response to seeing the dragon. His mouth opens just the tiniest bit, a swarm of words resting on the tip of his tongue, but they still refuse to come out. The ninja sees this, and hoping he can somewhat calm the older man, Genji picks up the green dragon and the red crane so they rest in either of his hands. He brings them closer as well, putting them on either side of the blue dragon before he talks.

 

“I know I have already said this, but you deserve to be free, brother. You deserve Jesse, and my forgiveness. If you ever need a reminder then these will provide it.” The silence that follows his words is light, no awkwardness or fear hanging in the air like there would have been days ago if the younger man had chosen then to show the archer the dragon before what happened on the mission and with McCree. Hanzo would have no doubt became angry (maybe would have went so far as to crush the dragon if he thought it necessary), and Genji's work would have been for naught. Now though, he thinks instead of anger, tears will be the response if the elder Shimada's eyes growing moist are anything to go by. The cyborg doesn't really want to see his brother cry, but he knows it'd be good for Hanzo if he did, if only this once. So he waits with baited breath, watching to see what the assassin will end up doing in response to his words and showing of the blue dragon, and he's more relieved than anything when the bit of moisture that had gathered is blinked away before tears can fall. The older man takes in a shaky breath that he holds in his lungs for a few seconds, and after he's let it slowly leave his chest, Hanzo speaks in a soft tone that both of them almost don't hear.

 

“Thank you, Genji.” Said man nods in reply as he retracts his hands so they sit just in front of himself instead of his brother, and thinking that he's achieved what he set out to do when he began his mission of perfecting the blue dragon, he asks a question he thought of a few days after making the dragon.

 

“Now that I have shown you, what do you want to do with them?” Hanzo thinks on the words for a moment, looking between the two dragons and the crane as he debates what should happen to them. Trashing the origami animals is out of the question considering the meaning they hold (including how long the younger Shimada probably spent making the blue dragon for him), and the archer wonders if he should just leave them with Genji. He's close to voicing his choice, but another thought enters his mind before he can stop it, and Hanzo chooses that for the decision instead. Holding the blue dragon just a little closer, his gaze falls on the red crane with a soft smile as he speaks.

 

“I will take the blue dragon. You keep the green dragon, and we give the red crane to McCree.” Looking at the two origami animals in his hands, Genji nods while silently agreeing that his brother's choice was the better one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad that I actually almost forgot about Genji's blue origami dragon escapade?


	20. My Past, My Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCree tells Hanzo of the past, but as far as Jack is concerned, some things should remain unspoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *trips over the other story and oneshot ideas pending* I SWEAR I'M WORKING ON RFR, HONEST. 
> 
> But seriosuly, someone stop my brain because it keeps coming up with other ideas for me to work on that I want to hurry and get out of my system despite how much time already goes into this one. And yea, an update at 2:40 in the morning because why the hell not?

McCree felt like sighing dreamily to himself, but he refrained from doing so because of the other man sitting next to him. Instead, he leaned his body closer so their shoulders touched, and smiled wide when the gesture was returned. Both the cowboy and Hanzo had decided to take a bit of a break under their tree and spend some quiet time together where no one but Genji would disturb them (since it was apparent that no one ever bothered to check if anyone was outside, and the younger Shimada only knew because of the argument he had with his brother). So far, neither had spoken the entire time they've been outside, the men opting to just watch the water roll and crash against itself while the sun still hung high above and beamed down onto the ocean. McCree's serape was being used as a temporary blanket for them to sit on (much to the dismay of Hanzo since he felt adamant about _not_ ruining something the younger man received from his mother any further while the other insisted), armor left inside and laying on the gunslinger's bedroom floor where he had left it a couple days ago even though his revolver was still on his person. McCree's hat, on the other hand, was once again placed on top of the assassin's head (his bow and arrows safely locked inside his room), and to let it sit better, Hanzo had removed his ever present ribbon so his hair fell free. The action had been a metaphorical punch to the gut for the younger man who had been captivated the moment those inky, black strands came loose, and he could only stare while his fingers twitched with a strong desire to touch and run through the hair that no doubt felt like silk (considering the older man's strong feelings concerning hygiene). The cowboy had managed to keep his hands situated at his sides, but he couldn't help but stare for far longer than he should have (with the elder Shimada somehow managing to _not_ notice his stare or simply didn't care) before he forced himself to look away. McCree still felt the urge to touch, but he was too afraid to ask because until Hanzo voiced his comfort, the younger man would remain at a distance.

 

Some parts of him anyway because while the gunslinger's hands still remained at his sides, his body was moving closer and closer to the elder Shimada who didn't seem to mind in the least. If anything, he was encouraging the contact since the older man was also moving closer, which led to their current situation. Both were sitting shoulder to shoulder, their knees touching in order to get just a little closer to the other despite what little space was left between them. Hanzo was also holding back a few urges of his own, mainly the urge to lay his head on the other man's shoulder and let his eyes shut, a moment where the older man would allow himself to take a nap if he truly wanted to (and oh, did he because if not now then it would have to be later, and the elder Shimada didn't want later). The only things that stopped him was the Stetson sitting on his head (something he was starting to grow rather fond of), and a question that had been burning in his mind for days now. Hanzo wants to ask, but he also just wants to enjoy the rare silence and peace with McCree before they have to return to reality where they fought against enemies and got shot at almost constantly. So the archer lets the silence continue for a few more moments, just a few before he presses a little harder against the younger man and speaks in a softer tone.

 

“McCree, if I may, there is a question that I have been wanting to ask you.” Said man turns his head just enough so they can make eye contact, and with a soft smile, his flesh hand moves to take hold of Hanzo's who grips back instantly.

 

“Darlin’, ya can ask me anythin’ ya want. Don't feel like ya need permission.” The older man lets the words sink in before he raises a single brow in response.

 

“Even if it is a personal question?” It's the cowboy's turn to raise a brow in reply, but his smile doesn't fade as his grip on the assassin's hand tightens just slightly.

 

“Anythin’.” Hanzo nods his understanding, and taking a deep breath, he prepares himself for whatever reply he ends up with once the older man asks.

 

“Your father… what was he like?” The question understandably catches McCree a little off guard, and his eyes widen just slightly before they come together in a thinking manner. There's thankfully no anger evident on the younger man's face (something the older man is eternally grateful for), and the elder Shimada feels his fear lift when the gunslinger begins his thinking habit, scratching his beard softly while he stares at the water. When the hand drops, McCree is now wearing a look that resembles the one on the train when Hanzo first asked about the other man's family, and he waits expectantly for the story he is about to hear as the cowboy begins talking.

 

“Well, I told ya before that the man was a tough son of a bitch. Could cut a man down with a single punch - which I saw him do a couple times, mind ya - and didn't take shit from nobody. But damn me ta hell if he wasn't the kindest guy on Earth either. My ma used ta joke that my pa had a fist of steel and a heart of gold. He helped everyone he could, from friends ta complete strangers, and never asked for anythin’ in return.” The entire time he spoke, the younger man was smiling from ear to ear as he relived the good moments of his past. However, that smile slowly faded and a grim expression soon replaced it, the reason behind his sudden drop in attitude explained with his next words.

 

“It's a shame that he died the way he did.” The archer could hear the pain behind the words, and he frowns to himself because this was not what he had meant to do. Hanzo only wanted to hear more about the man McCree had praised that day on the train, the same one whose hat was currently sitting on his head while his son grips the older man's hand a little tighter. He didn't want to bring up painful memories, especially the death of the gunslinger's father, and he thinks that despite the fact he doesn't have the details of his death, it was far more gruesome than his own father's (if the words and McCree's expression are anything to go by). Hanzo wants to drop the topic, have them converse about something else because he doesn't think that the younger man is ready to go down that road and remember the death of a parent as he retells the story to the elder Shimada. But the cowboy apparently has no qualms when it comes to remembering certain things from his past because before the assassin can stop him, McCree is telling him about the day his father died.

 

“Ya know that where I come from, gangs are a common thing. Hell, I ended up in one before Overwatch, so it isn't that surprisin’. Anyway, while gangs are common, robbers ain't because a robber is like a rival for a gang. They take what they want for themselves and don't leave much for others. That's why if they're caught by a gang, they're killed.” Even though the younger man isn't looking his way, Hanzo nods his understanding as he continues to listen to the story.

 

“But of course, robbers decided they wanted ta take what they could from us. Outta everyone in the town, they chose us. I was probably… eleven or twelve at the time and I just remember three of ‘em, coverin’ their faces and each carryin’ a gun. Pa tried ta fight ‘em, no doubt felt it was his duty ta protect his family. Managed ta kill one usin’ his gun, injured another, but it was the third guy that killed him. Shot him right in the lung.” The older man could hear the crack in the gunslinger's voice, and as a way to provide comfort and convey to the other man that it was okay to continue (hoping that he wasn't overstepping a line or anything), the archer takes the hand currently wrapped in his and brings it to his lips. They ghost over McCree's knuckles with the softest of kisses, and the action makes the younger man smile just a little before he continues retelling the memory.

 

“Once he had been hit, my ma got upset and ran off the last two guys by grabbin’ pa’s gun and shootin’ at ‘em. It's kinda ironic, if ya think about it. Those robbers didn't take anythin’ of value ta them, but at the same time, they took far too much from the rest of us.” After he's remembered so much, something that was an immensely painful experience, the cowboy can feel the tears building in his eyes. He tries to blink them away before they can fall, and he mostly succeeds at holding back the majority. Two manage to make it down his cheeks and onto his chin, and McCree is about to bring up his arm and use his shirt to wipe them away when Hanzo beats him to it. The elder Shimada's fingers rub at the two offending tears while he wears a sad expression, regret evident in his eyes (because that comment about crying not looking good on anyone is also true).

 

“I apologize. I did not mean to make you remember such a sad thing.” The gunslinger huffs a small laugh at the words, and after he's sure the tears are fully gone, he takes the hand wiping at his cheeks in his prosthetic. As a way of showing his appreciation, McCree kisses the fingers (that are now a little salty), and smiles yet again.

 

“Ya didn't do anythin’ worth apologizin’ over, darlin’, promise. It's just somethin' natural everyone deals with. Ya can't remember the good without rememberin’ some of the bad.” The words remove the assassin's frown, but he still feels a little regret that both know won't leave right away no matter what the younger man says. Instead, they just go back to sitting in comfortable silence while staring at the water, Hanzo feeling like the hat that is still on his head has suddenly become a little heavier after the story. He had never known the significance it truly held until now, and to finally hear why McCree treasures his Stetson so much, the elder Shimada feels even more special since he's allowed to wear it.

 

But he does have to give it back at some point. It just doesn't have to be right now since the other man apparently has more to say, this time explaining the situation after his father was taken.

 

“But I felt bad for my ma after she lost her husband. Ended up a single mother of three children, me, my sister, and my brother.” This catches Hanzo's attention, and wanting to learn more about the cowboy's family, he tries to keep the topic going.

 

“You have siblings?” McCree nods slowly.

 

“I was the middle child, my sister havin’ been born two years ‘fore me. She acted like she was a queen, too. Guarantee ya she was worse than Genji growin’ up.” The comment makes the elder Shimada huff a laugh, but he doesn't comment as the younger man continues his story.

 

“But I don't doubt it was tough for ma raisin’ all three of us. And after I got a little older, I began ta see just how tired and stressed she really was. My pa’s death did a number on her, on all of us. I remember bein’ so bitter, especially since the cops weren't able ta find the sons of bitches that killed him.” The archer can hear the anger starting to seep into the other man's voice, and he tries to sooth McCree by rubbing circles with his thumb into the hand that the other still has feeling in. It works for the most part, the gunslinger cracking a small smile from the gesture, and he takes a breath to calm himself before continuing.

 

“I was fifteen when I left. Took the things I thought were necessary, includin’ my pa’s gun, and rode away on horseback when night fell. Stupidest thing I probably did, but I was angry and didn't wanna see ma suffer anymore. Half of me left ‘cause I thought it'd help ma in some way. One less mouth ta feed. The other half wanted ta find those robbers and kill ‘em.” The sentiment is something Hanzo can understand considering all of the assassins sent by rival families that kept trying to kill both him and Genji. There always seemed to be someone out to kill the two Shimada heirs, and a few had almost succeeded in getting rid of his brother, only to quickly be dealt with by an angered sibling.

 

The older man perfectly understands the need for revenge, but he wants to know whether or not McCree succeeded with his.

 

“Did you ever find them?” The cowboy remains quiet for an alarmingly long time, but he eventually answers the question in a hushed tone.

 

“I did. Found ‘em a few months after I left. Bastards laughed when I told them why I was there, so I shot ‘em dead. Didn't think about what I had done until I began walkin’ away, and I knew there was no way I could go back ta my home even if I wanted to. Just imaginin’ ma’s scared face kept me from goin’ back.” The gunslinger sighs at the memory, prosthetic hand running over his face as he remembers how he felt at that moment, the dread and panic that welled inside him. The realization that he had just killed two men slowly dawned on him, and fifteen year old Jesse McCree knew there was no returning to his family (although he anonymously contacted his mother after joining Blackwatch, the reason he got the serape because she knew it was him). Even if they were incompetent most of the time, there was a chance the police would find out about what he had done, and he would be taken to prison or maybe even executed (because the law was just that twisted, and it would have persecuted a fifteen year old boy for killing the two men who took his father). He didn't want his mother to witness such a thing if he returned and was found guilty, so he ran as fast as he could into the desert, away from his home and family (which, if he could, he'd happily go visit her and his siblings just to make sure they were doing well). It didn't matter where he ended up, the younger man just wanted to escape, and he managed to succeed for a while.

 

“After I killed the two robbers, I fled as far as I could. Police never came after me, so I don't know if they ever tied me ta the murders.” Hanzo feels a sense of relief when he hears those words because he can't imagine what would have happened to McCree if he had been caught and killed for wanting a justice he never received. It's definitely an unwanted thought, and the elder Shimada forcefully pushes them away so he can focus on the conversation.

 

“Is that when you ended up in Deadlock?” The other man nods his confirmation.

 

“I was sixteen when I joined. The leader took a shinin’ ta me after I ended up in a bar fight. I won, which was kinda surprisin’ since I was borderline drunk and outnumbered two ta one, but they were just guys blowin’ hot air. Deadlock’s leader saw the whole thing, caught a glimpse of the gun I had, and told me he wanted me in the gang. I had nowhere else ta go, so I joined. Ya know the rest.” Hanzo nods his head, and as a thank you for telling him, the assassin places a soft kiss onto McCree's cheek. The action makes the younger man smile, and now that they have returned to the present, both realize they need to go back inside soon. It takes the both of them some time, but after a few more minutes have passed and the sun has gotten lower in the sky, they know they need to leave. If both of them don't return soon, the other agents will no doubt begin to get suspicious, and that's something neither currently want right now. So they stand, dusting off the dirt on both them and McCree's serape before the younger man takes his hat back from the archer's outstretched hand and places it onto his head. Hanzo begins to put his hair back into its usual ponytail, the action having been done so many times that he no longer requires a mirror to see what he's doing. The cowboy feels a little saddened to see the waterfall of black tresses leave (especially since he never got a chance to ask if he could touch the older man's hair), but he knows another opportunity will come sooner or later. For now, he situates the serape around his shoulders before they begin the short walk back towards the base, a bit of distance between the two men in order to keep their relationship from being found out. It's a little early for dinner (not that there's really a set time, but everyone prefers to eat together), so both decide to spend an hour or two in the training room. Thankfully, no one else is present or using the equipment, something that McCree takes advantage of as he shamelessly flirts with the older man during their training. Hanzo doesn't verbally reciprocate most of the time, mostly limits his reactions to playful eye rolls and shy smiles, but the gunslinger doesn't need to be flirted with to know how much the elder Shimada cares. It became apparent after the other man spilled almost all of his entire past and the older man decided to continue being with him.

 

He didn't think about it at the time, but there would have been risks when it came to revealing what happened in his past under normal circumstances. If the archer had been anyone else, McCree doesn't doubt that he would have left him and told him to stay away (probably would have also turned him over to the authorities that keep adding to his rap sheet if the elder Shimada felt he needed to), but he knows Hanzo would never have done any of that. The younger man didn't really think about things before today, but he soon realizes that because of the family the older man had grown up with and the surroundings he was subjected to, the elder Shimada would never think to leave McCree over what he did in his past. If anything, Hanzo would argue that his past would be considered far more wretched, and that if anyone deserved to be killed, it was the assassin (something that the other man would adamantly refuse to let happen). But luckily, neither have to worry about the other selling them out and betraying a slowly built trust.

 

Instead, both men have to watch out for the people who already want them dead (such as the government, assassins, Talon, and bounty hunters), and won't change their minds unless they're paid a hefty amount. Speaking of…

 

“Hey darlin’, exactly how big is that bounty on yer head?” Hanzo understandably gives McCree a rather confused look (and manages to hit one of the robots in the head at the same time, much to the younger man's jealousy and awe) before he nocks another arrow and aims.

 

“Are you looking to cash it? Take my corpse back to the remains of the Shimada clan?” The words don't sound serious in the slightest, especially not with the grin spread across the older man's lips, but the questions make the cowboy scrunch his nose in response. One of the robots is chosen as the poor victim for him to release his anger out on because of it, and McCree almost regrets doing so at the pitiful noise it makes once downed.

 

“That joke was in poor taste and ya know it. Like hell I'd turn ya over ta those sorry bastards.” Hanzo lets out a soft laugh as he takes out two more bots, ducking out of the way when a simulated archer lets his arrow fly towards him.

 

“Then I apologize, but why do you want to know?” The other man gives a small shrug as he rolls out of the open and towards a wall for cover, successfully avoiding getting hit by rubber bullets that would have no doubt left a nasty bruise.

 

“Just wonderin’ how much an ex-yakuza clan leader who supposedly betrayed his family is worth in the underground world.” The gunslinger hears a scoff from above him, and looks up in time to watch Hanzo land on his feet next to him, arrow being let loose the second he does. It takes out an enemy gunman, and the archer already has another one nocked before he answers.

 

“To be honest, I do not know the exact amount myself, so I unfortunately cannot tell you. Although, judging by how many assassins and bounty hunters have come after me since then, looking to take me down and drag me back, I would assume it to be a fairly decent number.” The elder Shimada takes out two more archers that had tried to hide in a tower, and after he watches them dissolve back into code, his gaze falls onto McCree with a smirk.

 

“Your turn. How much has the infamous Jesse McCree built up after eluding the police for so long?” Said man laughs as well, lining up a shot and pulling the trigger four times to take out the same number of enemies at once.

 

“Afraid I'm gonna hafta say the same thing. I used ta keep track of the bounty, but after so many years of takin’ out guys that wanted ta cash in, and the blame for crimes I never did kept rackin’ up, I stopped carin’. All I know is that the number is rather high, and keeps gettin’ higher.” The assassin lets out a hum next to him, taking a deep breath when the simulation finally ends, and he wipes away at the small amount of sweat that has accumulated on his forehead. Once that's done, Hanzo closes the small distance between him and McCree so he can pull the taller man closer by his serape. The cowboy goes willingly, a smile spread wide on his face, but the older man stops until their mouths are centimeters apart.

 

“Well, rest assured that I do not plan on letting anyone turn you in.” The other man lets out a small chuckle, prosthetic hand moving to rest on the archer's lower back so he can pull him closer.

 

“Well sweetheart, that there is somethin’ we can agree on ‘cause I ain't lettin’ anybody lay a hand on ya.” The gunslinger doesn't wait as he presses his lips against Hanzo's who responds immediately, for once not caring about the fact that they're basically out in the open where anyone could see. The kiss is slightly harsher than either intended since they're still not very used to kissing each other, but neither can really find the will to care or stop. They just continue to kiss in the middle of the training room, both ignoring the small voice in the back of their minds trying to remind them of where they currently are. As the kiss goes on, both begin to find a rhythm that they couldn't break even if they wanted to (and _neither_ felt like doing so). It's only when the kiss starts to become a bit more heated do both men start to think they should stop even though they haven't let go of each other. But another part of them thinks _just a few more seconds_ and they want to give in-

 

Until they're startled apart by a voice that neither of them wanted to hear at the moment.

 

“You have got to be kidding me.” The voice sounds surprised and annoyed all at once which is rather fitting for the person who decided to end the moment. Both men feel their heartbeats quicken (which they didn't think was possible after that kiss), and even though they already know who that voice belongs to, they can't help but turn to look at the new visitor to the training room. The dread they feel worsens when their eyes land on the new occupant, a Jack whose body language suggests he isn't the least bit pleased to have just been a witness to two grown men kissing (since he's still wearing his usual mask). The reaction is immediate, Hanzo and McCree moving away from each other and putting some distance between them with embarrassed looks. All three just stand in silence, unsure of what to do. The cowboy is seriously debating running back to his room with the elder Shimada in tow, having no doubts that the assassin would happily follow if it meant he could escape their current situation. The only flaw with the plan is Jack who is still standing in front of the door, arms now crossed in front of him and probably scowling behind the mask. McCree wishes he would walk away and forget what he saw (or at least act like he didn't see a thing), but the old soldier doesn't look like he plans on moving anytime soon. Unfortunately, the younger man doesn't want to be the one who breaks the silence first (and it seems that Hanzo shares that sentiment if the mortified look on his face means anything), and he is both pleased and terrified when Jack is the one who begins talking.

 

“So as much as I don't want to get involved, what in the hell are you two doing?” McCree clears his throat before he lets out a shaky laugh, side-eyeing the archer in hopes that he'll provide some sort of back-up. When it becomes obvious that Hanzo doesn't plan on helping the gunslinger in the slightest (something he plans on filing away for later), McCree just hopes he can pull through without getting maimed afterwards. Sadly, it doesn't look like that'll happen as sarcasm has become his go-to defense.

 

“Well, I mean… anyone with eyes can see what we're doin’. Don't take a genius ta figure it out.” The cowboy immediately regrets the words when Jack lets out an annoyed growl, but he manages to not shrink away in fear despite the growing tension he can hear in the former strike commander's voice.

 

“Well I'm apparently looking at a couple of idiots who thought it was a good idea to… _make out_ in the training room. Now my question is why the hell you two were doing it in the first place.” This time, Hanzo does lock eyes with McCree for a moment, and in a split second of mutual understanding, the elder Shimada decides to open his mouth and explain.

 

“The reason is no doubt exactly what you are thinking.” The silence that follows his words is heavy, and the younger man ends up flinching a little when Jack lets out a weary sigh.

 

“I seriously hope you're joking about all this. Jesse, I can understand, but you, Shimada?” The accusing tone makes the archer frown in defense, and wanting to know the meaning behind the old soldier's words, he also crosses his arms and stares defiantly at the other man.

 

“And what, exactly, do you mean by that?” McCree feels the heaviness in the air increase tenfold as both men stare each other down, and even though he wants to keep a fight from breaking out, the younger man isn't sure he'd be able to considering the other two are more built and have twice as much physical training. Height advantage won't work, and the stress he's starting to feel from the situation has started growing. The gunslinger doesn't think it'll stop soon, especially since Jack has started talking again.

 

“Do either of you know how _horribly_ this could potentially turn out? The _risks_ you both are putting on the team? What made you think starting a relationship with each other was a good idea?” McCree wants to say something in their defense, but it's clear Hanzo plans on doing all the talking if his annoyed scoff is anything to go by.

 

“And exactly how are we creating risks by being with each other?” It's a question Jack was apparently prepared for since he immediately starts listing off all of the problems that could arise.

 

“If you two are together, that's where your focus will be instead of on the objective. What'll happen if one of you gets hurt on a mission and the other chooses to abandon his post? Who's to say you'll go to cover someone who really needs back-up, but instead you're doting on the other because they got a scratch? Have I made my point yet?” The younger man really wants to argue at this point, seeing as he knows both him and Hanzo are far more competent than Jack is making them out to be, but the anger that he felt because of the words starts to quickly fade. The lingering mortification McCree felt before has begun to grow again after the assassin brings up something that no one wants to remember nowadays.

 

“Is this you speaking from experience? Situations you had to go through with Gabriel Reyes?” The cowboy can see the former strike commander's shoulders rise with anger and a small, quick turn of his head tells the younger man that he's now the focus of Jack's glare.

 

“You told him?” McCree feels the strong need to look away, but he stays rooted to the spot (even though he can't see the older man's eyes) as he answers.

 

“Might've said somethin’ about it after we ran inta Reaper in Indiana.” The short growl the younger man hears is enough to make guilt bury itself deep in his chest because it was a noise he knew all too well. There was anger, but behind that was pain and regret, something the gunslinger had heard far too many times for his liking from both the former strike commander and his own mentor. At first, either would make the noise simply because the people in charge of Overwatch kept making outrageous demands, but then they started doing it at each other when the stress of everything became too much. Jack being offered the promotion and taking it was the final straw, and after that, McCree barely ever saw the two older men in the same room as each other. He had wanted to intervene at the time, call the two men idiots for choosing the organization over their relationship, but the cowboy sadly didn't have a full grasp on the situation as it was happening. He was still considered a child compared to the old soldiers, so he thought the words he kept bottled inside would amount to nothing if he voiced them. Then everything became too much, McCree had to leave before he also became an obedient puppet for Overwatch, and all of their worlds came crashing down into a pile of ash and flames.

 

When he heard the news, the younger man had let out the same growl he just heard from Jack, but his was quickly followed by painful tears. He doesn't think the old soldier has any left to spare, certainly not for their current conversation, and his guess proves right when Jack lets out an annoyed sigh that in no way sounds choked with tears.

 

“Does anyone else know about… _this_?” He gestures between Hanzo and McCree, the archer still glaring at him while the gunslinger just shakes his head.

 

“No one but Genji and Zenyatta.” Another sigh at his answer, and the younger man had a feeling that if the former strike commander wasn't wearing his mask and visor, he'd be pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

 

“Of course they do.” Jack shakes his head minutely, but he quickly goes back to watching the two other men in front of him.

 

“I'm not happy about this in the slightest, but I know neither of you would ever listen to me. Just make sure _no one_ _else_ finds out about you two. Am I clear?” McCree wants to nod his head in agreement with the terms, wants their conversation to be done and over with, but he knows he'd be lying if he did. The cowboy looks at the assassin for a moment, realizes he also doesn't plan on agreeing with the rules the old soldier has made, and he tries to offer the best compromise he can.

 

“I mean, we can try, but it ain't like we can keep everyone in the dark forever. They're gonna find out eventually, just as ya did today.” Jack goes quiet at the words, and McCree wonders for a brief moment if the older man is going to demand they agree just to set his mind at ease. He even braces when the younger man hears the former strike commander sharply inhale, but the hushed words that come next are far from what he or Hanzo expected.

 

“If you try hard enough, you can keep anything a secret. Relationships included.” Much to the surprise of both men, Jack chooses that as his moment to leave, not bothering to clarify (not that he really needs to with McCree since he has a good idea what the old soldier was talking about) as he walks through the door and out of the training room. It closes behind him with a soft hiss, and the other two are left standing there, dumbfounded at what just transpired. The gunslinger feels like he should say something, and hoping that the elder Shimada won't be too mad, he lets out a soft hum while his hands go on his hips.

 

“Somethin’ tells me we didn't get his blessin’.” McCree chances a glance at the archer, thinking it's understandable that he's sending the younger man an incredulous look, but it soon vanishes as he huffs a laugh and shakes his head.

 

“You are insufferable.” The comment makes the cowboy grin, and thinking that there's no chance of them getting caught twice in a row on the same day, he leans down and places a quick kiss to Hanzo's cheek.

 

“But ya still like me.” The assassin rolls his eyes, part of him wanting to berate McCree for once again putting them in a position where anyone could walk in and figure out they were together, but he refrains from doing so since a small smile is threatening to spread across his lips.

 

“Unfortunately.” The younger man gives him a look of fake hurt, one that succeeds in making Hanzo crack a small grin, and both decide that training has officially ended for the day. They still need to get food, and neither want to fight enemies (virtual or not) on an empty stomach. But McCree can't help feeling a bit of regret and sadness for Jack, knowing that the old soldier must be hurting quite a bit.

 

Anyone probably would when the fact that they _used_ to have something good is shoved in their face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a one shot planned concerning McCree's family (remember what I told you in the beginning notes?), but I'm gonna make y'all wait until after I finish the story.


	21. Reminisce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More stories, more pasts, and Genji proves to be both a savior as well as an annoyance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone needs to stop me because I ended up writing most of this while sick, and I'm pretty sure the chapter got away from me. Or maybe I'm overreacting.

With one final look over his work, Hanzo deems the arrow worthy and places it with the other five arrows he has already finished. He goes to make another, easily picking the pieces he'll need from the pile of parts he got from Winston so he can work on building a few scatter arrows. The archer was actually surprised the parts he asked for came in so quickly, and was also intrigued when he was told that Hana had a part to play in procuring them. Being famous apparently has its perks since she was able to influence not only the amount, but also the arrival of the shipment. When Hanzo approached her about it, she didn't really give him a chance to say anything and left it at her telling him it was thanks for the origami lessons. The elder Shimada was grateful despite how much he felt that simple origami lessons didn't warrant helping him with expensive weapon parts. In the end though, it proved immensely useful since now that he was able to make more arrows, Hanzo's forced confinement to the watchpoint would soon be over. No more needing to use the training room for practice and exercise, and he won't have to stay cooped up in the base. Hopefully, he'll be sent on a mission soon that won't turn out like the one in Germany.

 

But he did find it a little embarrassing after Winston had told him Jack was supposed to inform the archer that his request was fulfilled. He had apparently sent the old soldier to find Hanzo, only he had gone back saying he couldn't find the other man. When the scientist had asked him where he was that even Jack couldn't locate him, the assassin lied and said he was on the roof. It wasn't like what he said was a farfetched idea, after all, climbing was a specialty of the Shimadas. Everyone on the team knew it to be true, and Winston believed him without much of a fuss (even though both him and McCree knew what actually happened, and why Jack lied).

 

For now though, he just wants to focus on his arrows and make as many as possible before the next mission he's assigned to (and not worry about his relationship with the younger man being exposed). And he succeeds for the most part, creating a total of fifteen new arrows before a knock sounds on his door. Hanzo looks between his work and the new visitor, thinking he has time to talk to whoever it is outside his room, and the assassin gets up to answer. He's pleasantly surprised (or maybe he shouldn't be) to find McCree standing on the other side of the door, a bag of cookies in his hand that Hanzo unfortunately recognizes as one of the snacks they had to procure for food before they snuck onto the cargo ship. The memories tied with the small bag amount to quite a lot, and despite it simply being a small thing of cookies, the older man gives it a quick glare before his gaze shifts to the man holding them (the one thing he is much more fond of out of the two). Hanzo raises a brow at him, prompting the cowboy to speak, and he gets an easygoing smile that really shouldn't be making the elder Shimada melt on the inside (but he does, and he has no will to be mad).

 

“Afternoon, darlin’. Mind if I come in?” The question makes the archer pause, and even though part of him wants to simply move aside and let the other man in (despite the fact this will be the second time someone else has entered his quarters), there's one variable that keeps him rooted.

 

“And drop crumbs all over the floor? I didn't know you enjoyed making others clean up after you.” In all honesty, Hanzo is making it out to be a bigger deal than it really is. He has no problems with food in his room (considering he brought his blood covered arrows inside, even let Genji bring in a tray of food), but he just wants to tease and watch McCree squirm. The gunslinger doesn't disappoint, and with a withering look at the bag in his hand, he tries to remedy the situation.

 

“Oh, sorry sweetheart, I really shoulda asked ‘fore I brought it. I'll just go-” He stops his rambling when the younger man hears a snicker from Hanzo, and after a moment of watching the older man try and fail to hold back laughter, McCree groans softly.

 

“You were teasin’ me.” The assassin nods his confirmation, and now that he's had his laugh, the archer steps aside to let the other man in. McCree shakes his head as he enters, and the moment the door slides shut, he points an accusatory finger at the elder Shimada before his eyes narrow playfully.

 

“One of these days, darlin’, I'm gonna know if yer fuckin’ with me or not.” The words make the assassin huff another laugh as he walks back to where he was putting together his arrows.

 

“Well, I think we can both agree that today is not when that happens.” Hanzo can't see the cowboy's face, but the muttered words and angry footsteps on the floor make him smile in adoration. He honestly didn't think he would be able to rile up McCree as easily as he can, but it's a welcomed outcome that the older man finds he enjoys immensely. The best part is that most of the time, the other man gives as good as he gets, and it becomes a game of theirs to see who can out-tease the other. Hanzo has already counted two wins for him and three for the gunslinger, so the older man tries to start the game any time he can in order to take that win against his boyfriend (the thought of which still gives him goosebumps because _he has a boyfriend)_.

 

But he currently has other things he needs to focus on, and coming to the conclusion he can make about four more arrows, the archer gets back to work. McCree seems to understand that Hanzo has things to finish before he can talk with the younger man since the elder Shimada hears his bed creak under a heavy weight, and the rustling of a bag soon follows. The sounds of the cowboy eating behind him are thankfully not as distracting as the older man first thought they'd be, and after a few moments, Hanzo finds the rhythm he had before. He's able to put the arrows together quicker now than when he started, and after some time passes, the elder Shimada has finished making his arrows. Now with a new batch for his quiver, the assassin smiles to himself since more ammo means more missions. All he has to do now is inform Winston that he is available to be put out in the field, but for the time being, all of his attention will go to the new visitor in his room. Hanzo turns to look at McCree who appears to have finished his snack a while ago, and has instead decided to occupy himself by scanning the space with a curious gaze. The older man knows there isn't much to look at in his room (just a few trinkets here and there with no real value to others that he was able to salvage), so he has a sneaking suspicion that McCree is a little bit bored. Of course, the gunslinger doesn't show this, just smiles when he realizes Hanzo's attention is now on him. The elder Shimada ignores the look (with an immense amount of difficulty) as he crosses both his arms and legs to take on a more dignified look.

 

“So I am to assume you have a reason for wanting to come and see me?” McCree raises a brow as he continues to smile, and it's quickly followed by a small shake of his head.

 

“Not really. Just felt like spendin’ time with ya is all.” The words catch the archer a little off guard because all the times that the cowboy sought him out, he always had a reason. Now saying that he doesn't have one this time, Hanzo understandably feels a little skeptical.

 

“Really? You just decided to seek me out for the fun of it?” McCree lets out a soft chuckle at the question, a noise that makes the older man raise a single brow, and nods a little to himself.

 

“I'm gonna let ya in on a secret, darlin’. Normally, when two people are datin’, they don't need a reason ta spend time with each other. They just do it.” Hanzo blinks as he lets the other man's words sink in, and after a few seconds, his brows come together in slight irritation.

 

“I am not completely oblivious to how two people in a relationship spend time with each other, despite what you may think. I was simply asking since you have never tried to seek me out without some sort of reason.” The assassin watches as McCree's mouth opens, no doubt looking to protest against him, but Hanzo's previous irritation ebbs away when the gunslinger makes a rather amusing face. He stops for a moment, the younger man appearing to be deep in thought (even though he hasn't started scratching his beard) before his eyes widen in realization.

 

“Well hot damn, yer right. We ain't never just hung out without a reason, have we?” When the elder Shimada shakes his head, McCree huffs a laugh.

 

“Well, first time for everythin’. Now we just gotta think ‘bout what we wanna do.” The fact that the younger man came to him without an actual plan makes Hanzo roll his eyes despite his smile. Of course the cowboy didn't think things through, but then again, it wasn't like they were in the middle of a fight or doing important work. So he instead waits for McCree to come up with an idea (noting that he has begun doing his thinking habit), and it thankfully doesn't take that long before the older man is given an option.

 

“We could go inta town, eat at one of their restaurants. Everybody in Gibraltar apparently doesn't care much ‘bout if yer wanted or not.” Hanzo once again raises a single brow, this time in confusion.

 

“What exactly do you mean by that?” The grin he receives at the question is both alluring yet a little alarming.

 

“Let's just say American law doesn't have an idea as to who sets foot on Gibraltar soil.” Finally catching on, the older man shakes his head in disbelief.

 

“So you are saying there is no chance of you being arrested here.” The smile he gets in reply tells the archer all he needs to know, and with a quick laugh at the absurdity of it all, Hanzo stands while giving McCree an expectant look.

 

“Then I guess it's a date.” It's amusing to see how brighter the gunslinger becomes at the words, and quickly moves off the bed to follow the older man out of the room. It isn't until they've started walking down the hallways does the younger man realize a problem with their plan.

 

“Hey sweetheart, what are we gonna tell the others if they catch us leavin’ together?” Despite the actual concern McCree is showing, Hanzo just smiles as he tells the other man the excuse he already thought of.

 

“That we left to buy more origami paper for your personal use. When we come back, we simply say they ran out of stock.” The idea makes the younger man smile, and he has to hold back the urge to plant a kiss on the elder Shimada's cheek.

 

_Damn guy is sharp as a tack. How did I get so lucky?_

\-----

With some money they had stashed away, both were able to eat at one of the more fancier restaurants Gibraltar had to offer. McCree had been telling the truth when he said no one really cared about what went on in America concerning their lawbreakers since no one was trying to turn him in or call the police. Instead, Hanzo deduced that the looks they were receiving were because of how both men were dressed, not that they were wanted criminals. It was a little unnerving for the both of them, getting so much attention out in the open with neither carrying their weapon, but it only took a few seconds of glaring at the offenders before they were left alone. Now free to enjoy their meal without the feeling of being stared at, both men made small talk as they waited for the food. It was a little strange for Hanzo who was out of his element concerning a menu that didn't have anything remotely resembling what he has eaten before, but thankfully McCree was well versed in how to order from a menu that wasn't non-native friendly. So the cowboy ordered for the both of them (going off of what he's seen the older man eat), and that gave them a chance to talk with the other and share stories. Each were telling about memories from when they were growing up, moments that were either enjoyable or changed the way they saw the world (for either better or worse).

 

McCree had begun telling Hanzo about this one assignment he had been given when the younger man was still with Deadlock, and the elder Shimada was listening with rapt attention once he was told what it was. An arms deal with another gang, one that had been growing recently and threatening to expand into Deadlock territory. The leader apparently wanted to wait and see how things played out, whether or not they would be able to make a pact with the other gang or be forced to eliminate them.

 

McCree had already spent a year with Deadlock when their leader (who had apparently gone by the name Marco even though his subordinates weren't sure if that was his real name) thought he was ready. The gunslinger had told Hanzo the training he had gone through up to that point (even though his father made sure he had some basic knowledge under his belt), how he had become one of the most respected sharpshooters in the gang. Shooting a gun became second nature for McCree, and because of that, Marco was ready to take him out into the field.

 

And with one look, the younger man let Hanzo know that he had received more than he bargained for, even as he continued the story after a moment's pause. The cowboy took a deep breath, held it a few seconds, then pulled up the memory that played with vivid clarity.

 

“That day, I remember there bein’ a total of five, myself included, that Marco wanted as back-up durin’ that arms deal. I can only recall three names, one of which I had become friends with after just a month of me rollin’ with Deadlock. A scrawny kid by the name of Samuel. I'm not entirely sure why Marco wanted him for the arms deal since Sam could barely shoot a cactus ten feet away, but I didn't care at the time. I was just excited ta be on my first assignment with one of my friends.” McCree replays in his head the hour long horseback ride through the desert, the air buzzing with nervous anticipation even though two of the five of them had done business at Marco’s side before. The other three, the gunslinger included, were still considered green, fresh meat that didn't know the workings of a business deal yet. The leader apparently wanted to change that, and he dragged them all out into the world around ten at night.

 

“The deal was gonna take place at this little shack, abandoned for god knows how long. Marco wanted two ta stand guard while he took us greenhorns inside so we could take part in the negotiations. Lookin’ back now, I should've seen the signs that somethin’ wasn't right. The other gang only had three guys waitin’ inside, and we all knew that the less guys there were on the other side didn't necessarily mean we were bein’ trusted.” Despite what McCree said, he had felt somewhat suspicious when he saw how many were waiting inside the shack. They didn't look the least bit nervous or scared at making an arms deal with a rival gang leader, especially not for men who apparently showed up outnumbered. The deal had also been going rather smoothly in the beginning, but like the cowboy said, he should have seen the signs.

 

“We ended up walkin’ inta a trap. Apparently, the other gang's leader wanted Deadlock gone so he could take our territory. He set up an arms deal with us, and led us inta an ambush. Ten other guys were waitin’ for us, and when the deal was comin’ ta a close, they came out of hidin’ and opened fire. I began firin’ right back the moment they appeared, managed ta kill five of ‘em ‘fore I had ta find cover. Sam wasn't as lucky, got hit in the shoulder the minute bullets started flyin’, but the last guy definitely had it much worse.” McCree takes a moment to himself, tries not to remember the bile that rose from his stomach as he saw the other greenhorn take a bullet straight to the head, and he succeeds before continuing with the story.

 

“Apparently, Marco caught wind of their attempt at takin’ him down thanks ta one of our own infiltratin’ the other gang. Unbeknownst ta the rest of us, he told the others in Deadlock ta follow and take out the rival gang the moment they heard fightin’. What I thought was gonna be a simple arms deal turned inta a bloodbath, our own bein’ taken out along with the rival gang. We won, of course, but not without casualties. Marco just looked at us, at me, and said ‘this is what happens ta idiots without the skill ta survive’.” At the time, McCree had thought the words to be cold and cruel, something only a heartless demon would say. But as he got older, gained more experience, the cowboy found out that Marco’s words held a truth he couldn't see at the time. Then after spending close to a little over three years with Deadlock, Blackwatch was sent in and McCree ended up working for another organization that basically held the same beliefs.

 

He still remembers Reyes’ ‘words of wisdom’ he had for new recruits with bad tempers and a happy trigger finger to match (the gunslinger being one of those new bloods for a while): _those without the ability to hold their own in a fight won't get to see tomorrow._ Of course, his former mentor liked to think he had a heart of stone, but the respect he was shown by his subordinates didn't just come from his firearm skills and combat abilities. Reyes cared about his team, showed them a kindness that the world hadn't, and the men and women working under him wanted to return it in any way they could. In the end, the entirety of Blackwatch became a sort of dysfunctional family that had your back even though they could stab it just as quickly.

 

_And someone did._

 

But McCree didn't dwell on how his strange, new family fell, and instead leveled his gaze on Hanzo. He gave the archer an expectant look, wondering what would be his answer to the younger man's story, and the elder Shimada sat back in his seat as he searched for a memory to combat McCree's. He chooses one that starts the same as the cowboy's had ended, one concerning family, and he ignores the plates of food being set in front of them so he can retell it without a distraction.

 

“Late Spring, I think on a day in April. I was working on my studies while Genji decided to sneak out again, spend his time at a club that was built only a month ago. I had thought nothing of it at the time since he was always sneaking out late to hang out with _friends._ ” Hanzo practically spits the word, metaphorical venom dripping from his tongue, and McCree briefly wonders if the people Genji hung out with did more than just persuade the younger Shimada to stay out late.

 

“He did not come home, and I had thought that he spent the night with one of them. When I approached them about it the next day, I found out that Genji was supposed to have returned home after midnight. As it turned out, he had been taken by a member of a rival yakuza family who took the opportunity to pluck my brother from the streets after finding him drunk out of his mind. Angry at both the family and Genji, I slaughtered the lot that took him then forced my brother to study while he was hungover.” McCree doesn't know whether to be amused or scared, but the gunslinger decides to focus on a different part of the story.

 

“How'd ya find out where he was?” The grin that spreads over Hanzo's face isn't friendly in the least, and the younger man almost regrets asking.

 

“I simply… _persuaded_ one of the grunts to tell me what he knew.” The assassin decides that food has finally taken precedence over revealing more of what happened in his past, so he goes to eat his food while pointedly ignoring the slight drain of color from McCree's skin. It doesn't take long for the food sitting in front of them to vanish, and after paying the bill, both decided to head back to the watchpoint before someone called them on their communicators wondering where they were. Both men were actually surprised it hadn't happened yet, but neither really worried about it as they continued their story exchange on the way back to the base. McCree had told Hanzo about a mission he did for Blackwatch where he had to infiltrate an abandoned military facility supposedly being used by anti-omnic terrorists. In turn, the older man told the cowboy about an arms deal he had to bear witness to, a requirement for when he would take over the clan. Both stories ended with their enemies being taken out by bullets and explosions, and gave them something to talk about until they were back at the watchpoint. No one was at the door waiting to greet them, not even Genji, and Hanzo briefly wondered if the cyborg had figured out they were gone and kept it a secret from the rest of Overwatch. Whether that was the case or not, neither had to explain to anyone why they were gone, and when both men reached the archer's room, the excuse was forgotten. Instead, they decided to share both stories and kisses in kind for the rest of the day, Genji appearing briefly some time that night to inform the both of them that the situation was taken care of.

 

When morning came, Hanzo thanked the younger Shimada for his help (not bothering to ask what the other man did for fear of the answer), and the ninja shrugged in response.

 

“You do not want to make your relationship with Jesse public yet. I was simply respecting your wishes.” The older man rolls his eyes, but goes to focus on their meditation that has become far more manageable than it was the first day he tried. The assassin could now go for hours if he felt like it, only having to worry about a few cracks here and there in his concentration where bad memories would still slip through. But today showed no signs of past mistakes coming back to haunt him, and when both figured it was time for them to join everyone else in the dining hall for breakfast, Hanzo felt far better than he had in years. A weight seemed to have lifted from his entire being, and despite his ever prominent scowl (thanks to years of stress and being the model son), the elder Shimada felt as though he achieved a modicum of inner peace. It must have shown too because the moment he sat down to eat (Ana deciding she would save the agents and cook so they didn't have to use the computer), Hana kept staring at him, no longer absorbed in whatever it was Lena and Lucio were talking about. Hanzo just stared back, prompting the girl to either speak or look away before she finally voiced her reason for watching him.

 

“Is it just me or do you seem… happier?” The archer blinks his confusion, and after a beat of silence, he replies.

 

“Pardon?” Hana seems like she wants to point something out as her finger has raised slightly, but Lena cuts in before she can, conversation with Lucio apparently forgotten.

 

“She's right, luv! Ya don't look as constipated as you usually do.” The comment earns her a glare (Genji receiving one too at the chuckle he makes in response) that sadly doesn't have the desired effect of making the younger agent shy away. Instead, Lena just smiles bigger as Lucio decides it's his turn to point out Hanzo's apparent spike in happiness.

 

“In their defense, it does seem as though you're expression has softened somewhat.” Realizing he isn't going to win against the three, the older man just rolls his eyes before his focus shifts to his food, no longer willing to give any of them the time of day. It proves to be a tad difficult, especially with Hana and Lena constantly asking him to tell them what's recently happened to the assassin in order to make him not look as grumpy as usual. They just get another glare in return, this one more potent and actually causing all three to flinch away in fear. Hanzo huffs a laugh before he returns to eating, and now that he's finally being left alone, it doesn't take him long before his food is gone. The moment his plate is clean, McCree chooses that as his cue to enter the dining hall, letting out a yawn the moment he passes through the doorway. He greets a few of the other members before taking a seat by the archer, Ana setting down a plate of food and a full mug of coffee in front of him with a motherly pat to his shoulder. The cowboy thanks her before he grabs the mug and starts gulping down the brown liquid, those at the table watching in both disgust and awe at how quickly the coffee vanishes. McCree still isn't fully awake yet which shows in the slow way he eats the food, but Ana refilling his mug has the desired effect of making him more alert. After drinking a little more than half of the mug’s contents, the gunslinger is now tuned into the world around him, and Hana takes that as her chance to tell him about the elder Shimada's sudden change.

 

“Jesse, doesn't it seem as though Hanzo looks happier?” McCree blinks at her the same way the assassin did, and glancing at the older man (who, as far as he can tell, doesn't seem pleased, and therefore, not what Hana is implying), he gives a small shrug in reply.

 

“I guess? I don't really know why yer askin’ me.” The gamer looks at him as though he's gone insane.

 

“Because you're always with him. I thought that out of everyone, you'd be the first one to notice if Hanzo has changed or not “ McCree harshly swallows his food (noting that the elder Shimada has chosen that as the moment he goes to make himself some tea, and that Genji has also gone abnormally quiet), and he tries to look as annoyed as possible.

 

“We don't spend _that_ much time together.” Hana’s eyes narrow in a way that suggests she knows he's lying (which he is, but no one else needs to know that), but she doesn't try to push the man for the truth. She instead brings up the conversation she was having with the other two young agents before the archer walked into the dining hall, and McCree silently thanks whatever being is listening that he was able to escape the situation without having to resort to drastic measures. Genji still hasn't said a word, and when Hanzo comes back, he also sits in silence while drinking his tea. The atmosphere is a little tense for the three, no one but them thankfully noticing, and when the cowboy finishes his food, he foregoes another mug of coffee so he can leave as soon as possible. With a mumbled comment that he has to go talk to Winston, McCree leaves the dining hall with one last glance back at the archer. Hanzo returns it before his attention is back on his tea, cup almost empty with only a few swallows left. It's gone within minutes, and now that he's eaten and finished his drink, Genji decides to propose an idea he's had for a while now.

 

“Brother, if you would like, we could train together against the simulator.” The older man pauses for a moment, and after he thinks on the suggestion, he nods to convey that he has no problem training with the cyborg. Both leave the dining hall with a few goodbyes to other agents, and once they are alone in the hallways, Genji decides they're in the clear to talk about the topic of the elder Shimada dating McCree.

 

“So, Hanzo, I have a question regarding your relationship with Jesse.” The assassin raises a single brow, but says nothing as he silently tells the younger man to go ahead and ask (even though he can't see the small grin behind his brother's mask).

 

“You have been with him for some time now, correct?” When Hanzo nods, it's slow and suspicious as he's not sure what the younger Shimada is planning. He doesn't have to wait long, the older man stunned silent when Genji asks his next question.

 

“So when are you going to bed him?” The archer's immediate reaction is a mix of shock at how blatant the younger man is (even if he asked is a somewhat polite manner) and appallment because there is no reason they should be talking about such a thing. That's why he just stares at his brother, feet stopped dead in their tracks as he gawks. The ninja stops moving as well, watching the older man with slight amusement even though he doesn't convey anything other than confusion. Genji's head is tilted to the side, shoulders drawn up just slightly in a small shrug as the two Shimadas stare at each other. When it becomes apparent that the assassin doesn't plan on shaking himself out of his stunned state any time soon, the younger man decides to do it for him.

 

“Why are you staring at me like that? I only asked a simple question.” Something about his words makes Hanzo come back to reality, and after blinking the shock away, he scowls harshly.

 

“Simple? To ask your brother when he plans on having sex with someone is considered simple?” Now Genji is the one stunned silent at the crude manner the elder Shimada asked his own question (because he had never known the older man to speak in such a way as he was always proper and elegant), and even though Hanzo can't see it, the cyborg is staring at him with wide eyes while his mouth hangs open. But he manages to collect himself faster than the archer did, and after clearing his throat a little (an instinctive reaction to the slightly awkward atmosphere), Genji tries to continue on with the conversation.

 

“Well, when you put it like that, it does sound a bit weird.” The response is immediate, the elder Shimada's head tilting downward as he stares at his brother with a silent question of _are you kidding me_ written on his face. It makes the ninja want to laugh a little, but he refrains and instead acts like he isn't the least bit affected by the look.

 

“I asked simply because you have never been with someone before. Not to mention that sooner or later, it will happen.” Hanzo's eyes narrow as his arms fold over his chest, and now with his feet planted firmly to the ground (because his abrupt stop earlier was far less graceful than he usually is), the assassin fixes his brother with a glare.

 

“I am well aware of my own sexual experience. What I fail to see is why we are discussing such a thing.” Genji goes quiet for a moment, head down so he doesn't have to meet the older man's gaze, but eventually, he does come up with something to say in response.

 

“I figured I might be able to help you be prepared for your first time.” Hanzo sighs because he knows the ninja has enough experience to back up his statement, something that pains the elder Shimada greatly since the last thing he ever wanted to know about his brother is how much experience he has regarding sexual relations with others. It was something almost everyone in the clan knew about when they were younger, and just like them, the archer had been appalled and embarrassed to know that the younger Shimada heir would act in such a manner. Just one of the many reasons the elders and their own father despised Genji as much as they did, and even though it pains him to say, Hanzo was also guilty of silently judging and condemning his own sibling. He would watch from afar most of the time, coldly eyeing the way his brother would act towards complete strangers in an attempt to lure them into an intimate embrace, not at all focusing on how harshly the elders were reprimanding the actions behind their backs. The older man knew they disapproved of the cyborg's actions back then, he had just never known the severity of it until given the job of permanently correcting Genji's attitude.

 

And even though he pleaded at first, asked the elders to let him speak with his brother, Hanzo still gave in afterwards. Instead of voicing his own disapproval with words, he used his sword in their place, and everything fell apart.

 

So yes, the assassin knows the younger man can back up his words, but painful memories and the awkwardness of receiving tips from the ninja on how to better his own sexual relations keeps him from letting the conversation go any further.

 

“I assure you, I do not need nor want any help regarding such a matter. If I should discuss this with anyone, I believe that should be McCree.” Genji nods his understanding, and now with both reaching the mutual understanding that the topic is over and done with, they continue on their walk towards the training room. It's spent in silence, until the younger Shimada wants to bring up another topic that he's had on his mind as well lately. Figuring this one to be milder and less embarrassing for Hanzo, the cyborg voices his other concern regarding his brother's relationship with the cowboy.

 

“I must ask, why do you still refer to Jesse as ‘McCree’? He calls you by name, and haven't you been together long enough to stop using his surname?” The look he gets in reply isn't as annoyed as the first one, but the answer Genji receives isn't what he really wanted.

 

“I think that if he wants me to refer to him as such, he will say so.” The elder Shimada's tone suggests he wants the conversation to end, so the younger man abides by Hanzo's wishes yet again. But if he has to, the ninja will seek out and speak with the other person of the relationship and have a talk with them instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have that _Genji Shimada is a Little Shit_ tag there for a reason.


	22. A Much Needed Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparing for a mission may not be the ideal moment for a serious discussion, but Hanzo thinks it's now or never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually added a joke in this chapter near the beginning, but it's in poor taste and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who would get it right away. I have such a horrible sense of humor so I apologize in advance.

It was rare nowadays, for Genji to find McCree alone and without his brother by his side (even though no one else knew exactly why they were always together), but there were those few moments where Hanzo needed some time to himself. He wasn't on a mission, so it was still a little risky to talk about certain matters with the cowboy where the elder Shimada could walk in on them at any moment, but the ninja was sure he had plenty of time. As it was, the assassin has gone to the roof of the base to meditate there for once, wanting a change of surroundings for a few days where he could take in the fresh air. Genji was still in the room he usually meditated in when Hanzo told him, so the younger man suspected his brother wouldn't come to the conclusion the cyborg would do something other than meditate while he was gone. But Genji couldn't pass up the opportunity, and after he was sure it was safe for him to do as he pleased (with a time limit of course), the younger Shimada went to find McCree who was, as always, still in his room. The gunslinger was awake this time even though it was a little after nine, but Genji didn't bother pointing it out since they both knew the reason. Instead, the ninja sat on the floor by one of the walls, out of range of the smoke curling from the cigar McCree was currently holding (even though it went everywhere and there was still the stench of previous cigars hanging in the air). But it went ignored as Genji hurriedly explained why he was sitting in the cowboy's room instead of meditating.

 

“So I talked with my brother yesterday.” The statement makes McCree perk up, both worry and excitement building inside him at the same time. For the older man, the words are basically a double edged sword where it can be either a good or a bad thing since recent events have shown that when the Shimada brothers talk to each other, they're going to either calmly converse or have a screaming match. The gunslinger hopes it's not the latter of the two, and he thinks it won't be unwarranted since Genji doesn't appear upset in the least.

 

“And? How'd it go?” McCree sounds calmer than he really is, but if the younger man notices his nervousness, he thankfully doesn't comment.

 

“I am… not quite sure. We did not fight, but Hanzo did not exactly appreciate what I asked him.” The cowboy can't help the relief he feels at knowing the brothers didn't fight while he wasn't there, and he takes in as much smoke as he can before letting it out slowly so he can savour the taste.

 

“Well, what exactly did ya ask him?” McCree can tell that his question makes Genji hesitate, but he doesn't try to push for the information. The older man just takes another drag of his cigar while the cyborg tries to find a subtle way to tell his friend. When he can't think of anything, the younger man simply collects his courage and waits until the smoke has fully left the gunslinger's lungs so he doesn't choke.

 

“I asked him about when he plans to bed you.” McCree thinks that if he had been drinking anything, it would have ended up all over his room since he would have spat it out in shock (and the older man mentally thanks the younger Shimada for waiting until he didn't take a puff from his cigar and end up coughing around the smoke). But the cowboy still ends up sputtering in shock and embarrassment, a far less graceful display than Hanzo had been when Genji asked him the question. Afterwards, McCree can only stare at the ninja with wide eyes as he tries to gather himself. It takes a few minutes, but once the older man's thoughts are back in order, he clears his throat as he chooses to not take another drag from his cigar (as a precaution because he doesn't think he can take another shock like that).

 

“I’ll admit, I can see why Hanzo wasn't really pleased with ya. What made ya want ta ask that kinda question in the first place?” Genji gives a small shrug, but it gets him a look from McCree that has the younger Shimada sighing in defeat.

 

“I simply told him I wanted to help, maybe give my brother some advice since he…” The cyborg trails off, realizing that he never considered whether or not his friend knew that the elder Shimada had absolutely no experience concerning sex, and he was about to give away that information without the archer's knowledge or consent. But Genji is both pleased and concerned when McCree goes to quell his fears.

 

“Has no experience. That ain't news ta me. Hanzo told me before that he's never been with anyone romantically, so yer not dishonorin’ him at all.” The younger man nods minutely, and now that he knows he hasn't given the gunslinger any information he didn't already know, he continues with his explanation.

 

“As I said, I was offering to give him advice on the matter since it is going to happen sooner or later. But Hanzo refused.” The older man nods his understanding as he takes another puff, eyes following the trail of smoke that rises from his lips when he blows it out.

 

“I get that ya just wanted ta help, but my question is why yer so concerned about it. Yea, if we do end up layin’ together, it'll be his first time, but it ain't like Hanzo is some dainty little flower. He's a grown man who can make his own choices.” McCree takes a moment to take another drag before he continues, Genji still listening with rapt attention.

 

“Fella’s got a lot of baggage ta deal with too, so I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up not wantin’ ta have sex at all. If that's how he feels, then that's what I'll accept.” The ninja does let out a small chuckle at that, making the other man narrow his eyes suspiciously that Genji hurries to relieve himself of.

 

“Though it is merely speculation on my part, I do believe my brother wants to bed you very much.” The cowboy can't help the small smile his lips form around the butt of his cigar, but it soon vanishes with the younger Shimada's next words.

 

“I just worry because I know how frightening certain things can be, things that Hanzo has not yet experienced. Yes, he is strong, but he is also easy to frighten despite what you and others may think. That is why I wanted to give him advice on the matter, so he did not try to do things blindly.” McCree slowly nods his understanding while snubbing out the remainder of his cigar in the ashtray on his nightstand. He gets where Genji is coming from since he's seen the archer scared and in pain, and it hurt the gunslinger to witness such a sight. He knows he never wants to see it again, especially not if he ends up being the reason Hanzo sheds tears, and McCree tries his best to console both his and the cyborg's fears (no matter how strange it might be to be discussing such a thing with the younger Shimada, him having sex with his brother).

 

“What I'm about ta say may not mean much, but if yer brother and I do end up layin’ together, I'll make sure we take it slow. I'll even let him call the shots, say what does or doesn't happen. Does that help?” Genji nods in agreement, a small smile hidden behind his mask.

 

“It means far more than you think, Jesse. Thank you. I'm glad that it was you my brother ended up starting a relationship with.” The older man just gives a shy smile back, flesh hand flapping a little in the air.

 

“Ain't no big deal. If anythin’, I feel like the lucky one.” The younger Shimada huffs a laugh before standing to stretch out the kinks from sitting in the same position for so long. Both decide it would be better to head to the dining hall together and wait for Hanzo there, the topic they discussed in McCree's room temporarily forgotten so they don't accidentally reveal anything to anyone that might overhear. There aren't that many agents attending breakfast like there normally is seeing as how Winston had to send the majority of them on different missions, so it's a little quieter than usual. It's almost unnerving since both men are so used to so many people in the dining hall at once trying to talk over each other while they eat. But they sit down nonetheless, McCree pulling up the menu from the computer since Ana isn't there to cook for the agents still at the watchpoint. He eats while talking with Genji, the both of them remembering past events when they were still with the old Overwatch. They go through any memories they can think of, all of them causing both men to laugh or smile fondly before Hanzo enters the dining hall. When his eyes land on his brother and the cowboy together, he frowns a little but otherwise says nothing. He just quietly takes a seat next to McCree before pulling up the menu, not really paying attention to what he chooses as the older man focuses on the conversation other two men are having. He doesn't exactly know what they're talking about, but whatever it is makes the gunslinger laugh around a mouthful of grits that he tries not to spit out. It's a little amusing to see McCree desperately try to hold back laughter, but that amusement is short lived when Genji turns his focus on the elder Shimada.

 

“How was meditating on the roof?” Hanzo's first reaction is to give a small shrug, one that he knows neither his brother nor boyfriend are going to simply accept without a proper answer. So he instead swallows whatever food is in his mouth before speaking.

 

“It was fine. The wind was a little too strong this morning, so I may have to find a different location.” The ninja huffs a small laugh as he shakes his head to himself.

 

“I could have told you that. In case you haven't noticed, we are rather close to the ocean.” The comment makes Hanzo glare at the younger Shimada who doesn't seem the least bit affected, so he instead tries a different approach.

 

An obnoxious amount of sarcasm that his brother used to use on him.

 

“Look at that, McCree, Genji knows what a massive body of salt water is called.” The cowboy snorts as he tries not to burst out laughing while the cyborg can only stare in shock (not that either of them can see it). The older man doesn't smile, but his brother can see the small twinkle in his eyes, issuing a challenge of wit. Genji is far too tempted to not accept.

 

“I am beyond shocked to know that you posses a sense of humor, anija. I must be hallucinating.” McCree snorts again, shoulders shaking with the effort of keeping his laughter contained as the brothers continue their word war.

 

“Yes, just like you did when you thought that girl from the bar you went to had given you her number.” His gaze then temporarily shifts to the gunslinger whose hand is clamped over his mouth, cheeks red from the strain and effort of staying quiet.

 

“It turned out to be her father's.” Another snort, followed by an indignant whine from Genji as he points an accusatory finger at Hanzo.

 

“You said you would never tell anyone.” The assassin shrugs as he takes another bite of food.

 

“You did not make me promise, therefore I did nothing wrong.” When the memory replays, the cyborg realizes that his brother is correct and that he never did make him promise to never tell a soul. He had been too hungover at the time to fully comprehend his own words, and the shame Genji feels causes him to cover his faceplate with his hands as he lets out a groan. Across from the younger man, McCree finally manages to calm down, a few small chuckles escaping every now and then as he catches his breath.

 

“Oh man, y'all are gonna be the death of me if ya keep that up.” Hanzo just rolls his eyes with a small smile while the ninja groans again in response, the noise making both men across from him chuckle before they resume eating. It isn't long before the food is gone, but before any of them can leave the dining hall, Athena's voice comes in over the speakers.

 

“Agent McCree, agent Hanzo, and agent Vaswani, please report to the conference room to receive a mission.” The men share looks (all of them noting that Satya isn't in the cafeteria), and Genji decides to head for the training room to get in some practice while he waits, grumbling about how everyone is leaving him the entire way. The archer and cowboy make their way to the specified room, Satya already waiting for the two at the table. She doesn't acknowledge either of them, just continues to silently look over the blue nails on her hand while they take their seats. Winston comes in only a few seconds later, placing files in front of the three agents before he begins telling them about the mission.

 

“I thought long and hard about this, and I'm thinking it's time I send you two back over to America.” He pointedly looks at both Hanzo and McCree, the younger man showing more surprise than the other who just nods. Satya still says nothing even though her focus has shifted from her nails to the file.

 

“The mission will be recon, this time in Virginia. Multiple sightings of anti-omnic groups gathering in junkyards and abandoned neighborhoods. I want you three to go there and make sure they're not doing any harm to local civilians. If they are… you have permission to use any force necessary to stop them.” McCree's eyes widen at the news, wondering how difficult it must have been for the peace loving scientist to make the decision. Hanzo doesn't really react, much like Satya, but he also feels a little surprised at the orders, actually hoping for once that he doesn't have to take out idiots who could potentially take their outdated ideals too far with their actions. The last thing the elder Shimada wants to do is upset someone who just wants the world to stop fighting, but he knows that if he has to, Hanzo will follow through with the orders given. For now though, he'll worry about stopping radical groups later as he continues listening to the debrief so he doesn't miss anything important.

 

“Most of the sightings have been in Halifax and Charlotte, a few coming from Bedford, so we have reason to believe their meetings are taking place somewhere within those areas. Without incident, the mission should take the three of you a total of four days at the most to complete, a week if you end up having to engage them. Hopefully, this won't be a repeat of Indiana.” McCree is the more obvious of the two men in his embarrassment, eyes shifting away as he decides a loose string on his shirt is more entertaining while Hanzo just sits as still as a statue. Anyone who wasn't looking closely wouldn't be able to tell how rigid he went at the mention of their botched mission, and he's thankful that the other three in the room are too occupied with other things. Winston simply clears his throat once he realizes his mistake and tries finish up the debrief.

 

“Does anyone have any questions?” Finally deciding to give her input, Satya raises a finger to indicate that she does want to ask something.

 

“Do you have these terrorists’ exact locations?” The scientists nods before he points to the files he gave the agents.

 

“As it says, Athena and I have narrowed down the possible locations within the areas. Each county has one or two abandoned sites perfect for the groups’ meetings. As previously stated, you're to go in and make sure they aren't doing any harm to the people in the areas. Any other questions?” Satya shakes her head, and when he's sure neither Hanzo nor McCree have any to ask, Winston dismisses them with a timeframe of one hour before they depart. The architect leaves first, files in hand as she makes sure to take in every detail while on her way to her quarters. The gunslinger and assassin return to their respective rooms as well, packing necessities before they have to depart. McCree finishes within twenty minutes, and figuring he has time to spare, he makes his way to Hanzo's room, bag in hand when he knocks on the door. The older man opens it after a few seconds, and when he sees who it is, he waves in the cowboy before he goes to finish packing. McCree, with nothing better to do, sits on the part of the archer's bed that isn't being used while he decides to engage Hanzo in conversation.

 

“Ya think this is gonna turn out like it did the last time we were in the U.S.?” The elder Shimada doesn't look up from the clothes he's folding, but he answers nonetheless.

 

“I am not sure, but I do know that I would rather we not have to go through it again. As I said before, that will be the last time I ever ride on a boat.” McCree chuckles when he's reminded of Hanzo's words, having no doubt in his mind that the assassin meant what he said, but he can't help the strong urge to tease the older man about it.

 

“But darlin’, what if I wanna take ya out ta sea for a date? You would deny me the luxury of us havin’ fun on a cruise?” Hanzo fixes him with a look, one that tells the younger man everything he needs to know.

 

“Absolutely. I stand by what I said. Not to mention that there are plenty of other places we can go, and a boat does not have to be one of them.” McCree mumbles a ‘fair point’ before they delve into a comfortable silence as the archer finishes packing, a few change of clothes and cleaning rags neatly stacked inside of a small duffel bag he managed to obtain while living on the run. Hanzo spares a glance at the clock, noting that the transport won't leave until another thirty minutes, and he wonders if now would be the right moment to bring up what's been on his mind since Genji asked him about the matter. Even though a part of him doesn't think that discussing such a thing before a mission is a wise choice and could potentially ruin both of their focus, the archer knows they'll have to talk about it sooner or later (just like his brother said). On top of that, Hanzo isn't sure they'll get another chance like this, enough time to actually discuss this certain topic without the other agents growing suspicious. Mind racing to come up with some way to approach the subject without McCree being scared away, the elder Shimada slowly sits on the bed between his bag and the younger man (partly wondering if he should have put the duffel bag between them instead). Breathing deeply, Hanzo hopes he won't take too much time working up the courage to talk about the topic with the other man.

 

“McCree, there is something I wish to discuss with you.” Said man raises an eyebrow in question, but the gunslinger has a feeling he knows what the assassin plans on talking about if his rigid posture is anything to go by. Not wanting to tip Hanzo off that he's already figured out what they're going to discuss, McCree tries to appear nonchalant.

 

“Anythin’, sweetheart.” The younger man was hoping his pet name would relax the elder Shimada, if just a little, but it doesn't seem to have the desired effect. Hanzo is still tense, and looks like he may take back his words at any moment. Thinking that a different approach will help, McCree takes one of the archer's hands into his and rubs small circles into the skin with his thumb. It works far better than his first attempt, and he watches as Hanzo slowly relaxes before he quickly licks his lips to talk.

 

“I was wondering how you feel concerning us. If we were to… lay together.” Despite how he spoke with Genji, the elder Shimada feels as though simply asking McCree if he wants to have sex would be too crude. This way, he still gets his point across with the cowboy understanding what he wants to discuss without Hanzo having to say it out loud. But he still can't help himself from worrying about how the younger man is going to react, and he hopes McCree isn't disgusted or anything like that by the topic. It's a good sign that the hand holding his hasn't let go or stopped rubbing circles, and the relief grows, practically floods when the gunslinger says what he does in response.

 

“I've thought about it, gotta say I wouldn't mind if we did. What I'm more concerned about is what yer feelin’s are on the matter ‘cause I don't wanna do anythin’ ya don't like.” Hanzo nods his understanding, silently thanking both McCree and whatever force took pity on him and decided to give him this caring, lovable man (not to mention a chance for him to mend the relationship he had with his brother, the same one the older man shattered with his own hands). Hoping to convey a little of how he feels, the assassin squeezes the other man's hand just enough so it doesn't hurt.

 

“I would like to. It is simply a matter of when and where. We do not exactly have very open schedules to begin with, not to mention we are not the only ones within the watchpoint. And though I can not speak for you, there are certain… _items_ that I do not possess for such an activity.” McCree can feel his cheeks heat up just a little at that, knowing full well that he most certainly doesn't have any of the required items Hanzo is referring to. Scratching at his beard, the cowboy tries to think of a solution to their dilemma, a few ideas popping into his head.

 

“Well, we can always ask Athena ta order what we need.” The elder Shimada looks at him then, confused yet intrigued (and also wondering if the AI is listening to their conversation).

 

“She can do that?” McCree shrugs.

 

“She used ta do it all the time ‘fore Overwatch disbanded. Agents who couldn't go out ta get the items they needed would ask her ta order them, and it'd arrive within a few days. I'm not sure how well it'd work nowadays considerin’ where the items would have ta be shipped if we did ask her, but I think it's worth a shot.” Hanzo thinks on it for a moment, weighing his options between buying what they need themselves or asking Athena to order it in their place, and he thinks that it would be far less embarrassing to have the items ordered. With the idea accepted, the younger man begins explaining the other solutions he came up with.

 

“As far as time and place, these rooms were actually built ta be soundproof. If anythin’, the guys in charge at least wanted their members well rested instead of bein’ woken up by other agents rushin’ ta get ready for a mission.” Despite the new information, the archer is still somewhat opposed because of the threat of them potentially being interrupted by a fellow member and being found out in such an embarrassing way. But it's the best they have so far, and it's a better option compared to staying a night in a hotel (where the walls definitely _are not_ soundproof, something Hanzo knows to be a fact after multiple attempts to sleep in a bed for one night). He'll just have to hope that not many people are in the base when they decide to take the next step, and that McCree's knowledge concerning the soundproof rooms rings true.

 

But that's only one of the two remaining problems figured out.

 

“What about having enough time? We were only given leave these last few days because the last mission did not turn out in our favor. There is no guarantee the same thing will happen twice.” The gunslinger scowls to himself, but still manages a shrug that Hanzo can't help but frown at.

 

“If we have the time, we have the time. Ain't like there's any hurry for us ta get it over and done with, right? ‘Sides ya probably still need time gettin’ used ta the idea. I know I do.” The words make the older man furrow his brow as he stares at the other man.

 

“You did not want to?” The question is far from what McCree was hoping to convey, and he quickly goes to correct the mistake.

 

“Now hold on, darlin’, that ain't what I'm sayin’. Like I said, I ain't got a problem with the idea, I just wasn't entertainin’ it until it was brought up.” Which was only this morning, and that most certainly isn't enough time for the cowboy to get used to the idea of him being able to be with Hanzo that intimately. In his opinion, they both could use some time to mull over the idea before they start such a massive milestone in their relationship. Doing reconnaissance where, if everything goes smoothly, they'll have plenty of time to think it over seems like the best course of action.

 

“I say we let the idea sit for a few days until we're both sure we want ta try. That sound alright?” Even though the elder Shimada had brought up the prospect of them having sex because he was sure it was something he wanted to do, Hanzo would still respect McCree's wishes if that was what he thought was best.

 

“Very well. Though I doubt my choice will change, I will continue to think it over. However, if I am to fully comply, I would feel better if we asked Athena if she can order the necessary items for us.” The younger man's face breaks out into a smile, and he calls out into the silence of the room.

 

“Hey, Athena!” Not even a second later, the AI is responding to being addressed.

 

“Is there something I can do for you, agent McCree?” The gunslinger holds back the urge to nod, finding it a little funny that after so many years, he still can't remember to reply to her using his voice instead of gestures.

 

“Are ya still able ta order for the members if we need somethin’, but can't get it ourselves?” Another fast reply that makes McCree wonder if Athena has somehow gotten sharper over the years.

 

“Why do you think Winston has so many parts for new gadgets and a never-ending stash of peanut butter?” The question makes the younger man chuckle before he spares a glance at Hanzo who also seems slightly amused.

 

“Well, we got a few requests of our own that we'd rather not tell anyone about, if ya don't mind.” Athena voices her compliance, and after McCree tells her what they'll need (both thankful that there's no comment from the AI), they gather their things to leave with only five minutes remaining. Both men make their way to the hangar where Genji, Satya, and Winston are waiting, and they say goodbye to the ninja before receiving a few more warnings to entertain caution from the scientist. After that, all three operatives board the carrier before they're on course for Virginia. No one is doing any talking, not even McCree who really wants to engage in some sort of conversation, especially since both of his teammates aren't big talkers. It shows in how Satya is on the other side of the carrier, fingers flying across the screen of a data pad that she seems very interested in. It's a little upsetting for the cowboy who has never talked with the fellow Overwatch member before, but he's seen enough attempts from other people to know she isn't the most friendly to chat with. Her cold demeanor even puts Hanzo to shame (because he was still willing to talk to someone even if whatever he said was judgmental and had a harsh glare to accompany it), and McCree briefly wonders if he should even bother trying. Sadly, he isn't the type of man to not communicate with his teammates, and it'd certainly be more productive compared to all three of them sitting in silence. Digging up what little knowledge he has concerning the architect, he tries to see if he can't get more than a quick glance in reaction to his voice out of her.

 

“Hey Symmetra, what're yer thoughts on the mission?” He didn't use her actual name since they're not on those type of terms yet, and it manages to get the gunslinger the glance up he knew would happen. Much to his surprise and delight, the more that he was hoping for happens despite the fact Satya’s eyes return to the data pad in her hand.

 

“Is there a reason you are asking me for such information?” The cold tone isn't really anything new to McCree (considering he's now dating Hanzo who, at first, was nothing more than a pile of negative emotions wrapped in rigid cold exterior), and he takes it with a grain of salt.

 

“Just wanted ta know if ya had any plans ya felt like sharin’. I know it's basically gonna be a sit and wait kinda deal if it turns out these groups aren't doin’ anythin’ extreme, but there's also the chance we're gonna end up fightin’ ‘em. From what I know, yer a strategy type of person, so I thought that maybe ya had some contingency plans.” Satya raises a single brow slowly as if she's not sure how to take the fact that the cowboy can do more than just aim and shoot, and with a grace rivaling that of the man next to him, McCree watches as she sets down the data pad before crossing her legs in front of her.

 

“I have indeed come up with a few, both for if we have to engage them and if we don't. In truth, how well they are executed would depend on the skills of all three of us.” It's a little surprising, hearing Satya tell him that she planned out strategies for all three of them (because the younger man knew she was far from a team player), but he doesn't show this and just sits quietly while she explains. The amount of thought the architect has put into each plan really shows, especially since only one requires McCree do a complex series of, in simpler terms, ‘hit and runs’ if they end up fighting. Satya told him that he would have to wait in the shadows, and instead of using his gun, he'd take out the enemies one at a time using only his bare hands (preferably the metal one since, according to her, that would be faster). Once the enemy he fought was taken out then the gunslinger would hide again until the next one. Needless to say, it was not a plan McCree really liked (even if he would be using Satya's portals to find a new hiding spot), but he was still impressed by the amount of thought that went into each plan she told them. In the end, after hearing the details of every single one she thought through, they all agreed to choose only two plans, one for if they didn't engage and the other for if they did. After a rather quick debate, it was decided that if all they were going to do was observe then each would take turns keeping watch. As a precaution, Satya would set up portals and a few turrets while Hanzo would use his sonic arrows if he deemed them necessary. However, if they had to engage, the plan they all agreed on would be using Satya's turrets to thin the numbers if there are far too many to deal with as well as using a few of the archer's scatter arrows before all three take out whatever remains of the enemy. Of course, the architect had told them that seeing the abandoned sites with her own eyes would allow her optimal efficiency since she would know where to place her turrets, and what buildings would be preferable for Hanzo and their temporary base of operations.

 

Not even two hours later, all three arrive in Charlotte, carrier landing just outside one of the abandoned areas Winston informed them the terrorist group was using for their meetings. They're not too close, but all of them are able to see how dilapidated and rundown the area is. None of the buildings look stable enough to hold one person, let alone three, but Satya looks impressed rather than disgusted.

 

“I must admit, these terrorists appear to be smarter than one would think. While holding their meetings near such danger is absurd, these sites have been condemned, and are therefore no longer under government jurisdiction. There is no chance of police searching for them here, especially not with the danger those buildings create.” McCree, just for effect, takes out Peacekeeper before he spins the fully loaded chamber.

 

“That also means no chance of them gettin’ in the way of our little operation either.” Satya hums next to him, seemingly unimpressed by his display (Hanzo apparently feeling the same as her) before they decide to venture into the abandoned site and find a place to use as their temporary base. The architect takes in as much of the area as she can, taking notes of where to put turrets and what buildings would provide the best perch for the elder Shimada. Satya also debates getting familiar with the area since it's still daytime, the meetings supposedly at night, so there's minimal chance she'll be seen by any of the terrorists. It takes her a few seconds before deciding on a course of action, and after they have chosen which room they will use, she informs the two men of her plan before leaving. Satya never asked them to join or do some scouting of their own, but Hanzo also wants to look over the area and see how stable the buildings are. He doesn't want to end up falling through a decaying roof because he didn't have the foresight to check the durability of the building, so McCree is left alone in a room that smells far too rotten and damp for his liking.

 

The cowboy may be used to making exceptions ever since he left home, but he still has a few standards that do not include walls covered in mildew and creep-vines. He also isn't keen to find out just want kind of animals like to make their home in buildings that have been abandoned for who knows how long (but McCree has an idea considering he's had to sleep in old, decaying places before), and some small part of the younger man hopes the mission will go by quickly and without any complications.

 

Getting involved in other people's political views was never one of the gunslinger's favorite pastimes, and it definitely isn't something he wants to do while holed up in a decaying space full of animals and insects that would bite him in a heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanna know a secret?
> 
> The joke was that Hanzo isn't a delicate flower, but he will be _deflowered_ later on..... Like I said, terrible humor.


	23. Mortification, My Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission has proven fruitless and dull, but the conversations most certainly aren't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, don't mind me just... Updating... At 3 in the morning... With a project staring me in the face... *hides in a corner*
> 
> And I feel like an anime creator who likes to tease the audience with filler episodes because that is what this chapter feels like to me.

There's an unsettling noise, a loud creaking that sounds as if the roof will collapse at any moment. Hanzo takes a chance, foot pressing harder against the concrete that's already cracked in multiple places. Nothing gives, and the elder Shimada is silently relieved to know that he didn't blindly jump onto the roof and go plummeting into the ground below. However, he does know that the building he currently resides on would not be able to handle any more than him, and would definitely go crashing down in the middle of a battle. Hanzo marks it in the back of his mind, adding the building to a list that seems to be growing at an alarming rate, and he now counts seven abandoned buildings that would crumble under his weight. The archer goes through the locations again, making sure he remembers so he doesn't fall victim to decaying structures. The first one he marked had been the roof two buildings to the left of the room they're currently staying in. The next was three behind that one, and then the roof to the right of that. Hanzo lists them off, and now with a new danger added, he goes to check the few remaining buildings for stability. As he does so, the assassin's thoughts drift to the conversation with McCree, and he wonders briefly how long he'll have to wait before they can try and go further than kissing. It isn't like Hanzo is in any rush to have sex with the younger man, and he definitely doesn't want to push McCree into doing something he doesn't want to (even though he was told that wasn't the case with the other man). It's simply the prospect of experiencing something he's never felt before again, something that he knows will be different from how everything started. The older man won't have to worry about being pushed away, and instead of needing guidance from his brother, McCree will be the one who provides him with the correct choice of action.

 

The only problem Hanzo can discern is how the action is going to be executed. For as long as he can remember, he's always been the one to be in control of things. He was meant to lead, to be the one that takes charge in any situation, but the archer doesn't want to do that with the other man. For once, Hanzo wants to relinquish his control and let someone else lead for once, that someone being McCree. It's already been made apparent that the cowboy has far more knowledge and experience, not to mention he would no doubt be the calmer person between the two for when they fall into bed together. Just thinking about holding the reigns, being the one who takes instead of gives when it comes to the younger man, makes Hanzo sneer and a foul feeling clenches his gut. It may change with time, but he knows that won't happen for their first time. Unfortunately, he can't attest to how the gunslinger feels about being in control, and the older man knows it's another thing they'll have to discuss on the matter.

 

For now though, the mission comes first, and the topic is filed away for later when they have the time to talk about it. The abandoned buildings in Virginia are also not the ideal place for such thoughts, a fact made all the more present when one of the rooftops cracks under his metal feet. Hanzo moves quickly, jumping from one building to the next before he ends up falling through to the floor below. When he's safely on a roof that won't give out from under him, the elder Shimada scans the building he was just on to take in the damage. There's now a hole in the roof, the same spot where he was standing just moments ago, and Hanzo can't stop the small jump his heart makes at the surprise. He silently berates himself, cursing his lack of judgement and his thoughts for getting away from him as he now looks over the building carefully. Had his mind not been elsewhere, the assassin would have seen how rundown and decayed the building was, and he would have known instantly that it would never had withstood his weight. He's actually surprised it's still standing at all, and now noting that there are a total of nine buildings he shouldn't stand on, Hanzo makes the quick trek back to their current hideout.

 

He knows Satya hasn't returned yet since he saw her walking around just a few minutes ago, nowhere near their current base of operations which means he'll be alone with McCree for a while. The realization makes his chest flutter a little, and looking back now, the archer can't believe he's been allowed such a happiness. He had never even known he could feel what he does for the cowboy, and knowing he can, Hanzo can't fight the small smile spreading over his cheeks. He lets it stay there for a moment, soaking in the joy he feels before he schools his expression back to it's normal state (anger, apparently because he's been told he always looks annoyed). When he's back on the roof of the building they settled in, the elder Shimada takes one more look around to make sure nothing has happened yet before he climbs down. Hanzo decides it would take too long to simply walk back through the front door then climb four flights of stairs, so he goes in through the remains of the window to their room. Understandably, McCree, who had been standing by the window, didn't expect the sudden entry, and ended up jumping backwards into the wall behind him. There was a resounding bang, and both men could only stare at each other in silence with the echo of the noise hanging in the air after it already disappeared. Finally, the younger man regains himself, and he sighs before picking up his hat that had been knocked off when he hit the wall.

 

“Christ, sweetheart, ya tryin’ ta give a guy a heart attack?” Hanzo doesn't know whether to ask if the other man is alright or be amused at the accident, so he settles for something else.

 

“My apologies. I had assumed you knew I would be entering through the window.” McCree scoffs as he corrects his Stetson.

 

“In case ya forgot, most of us didn't have special ninja trainin’ that told us how ta sense where a person is. Not ta mention ya don't make any noise when ya move, so of course I ain't gonna know yer there.” For effect, the gunslinger pouts in an attempt to overdramatize the situation (and maybe get a bit of sympathy as well), and it works in making Hanzo laugh a little in response. The noise is enough for McCree to lose the pout, and instead give a smile of his own that makes the assassin's chest flutter yet again. Giving into an urge that he never thought he'd ever have, the older man moves closer so he's standing right in front of the cowboy. As quickly as he moved, Hanzo reaches up to plant a small kiss on McCree's cheek, just above his beard as another apology (noting with a hint of annoyance the strong scent of cigars clinging to him). The younger man is once again caught off guard, but he manages to recover quicker this time, arms going around the elder Shimada's hips before he can move away. Silently praying that Satya doesn't walk in anytime soon, he places a chaste kiss on Hanzo's lips, one the older man happily returns since he knows they have the time.

 

It's definitely not the best place for them to be kissing, an abandoned building overseas while on a mission with another Overwatch member, but at the moment, neither can bring themselves to care. The archer feels like he should, knows that if he had seen the same thing he's doing happen between two other agents, he would have considered them unprofessional and a danger to the team (thinking the same thing Jack said to them, that they'd focus on each other instead of other teammates that need help). But that was before he got with McCree, and Hanzo knows for a fact that he no longer cares about the mission as much as he should. Not when kissing the younger man is far more addicting and attention worthy compared to anything else (even if the taste is something left to be desired because again, cigar smoke), but he knows they can't do this the entire mission. Satya is one factor the older man doesn't want to deal with, and while he doesn't think she's the type to really care about the personal business of other people she barely knows, Hanzo wants to reveal what he has with McCree on his terms alone. So he pulls away from the gunslinger who appears to be slightly dazed, already missing the slow, languid kisses they were sharing between them just seconds ago. McCree seems to miss them as well because he pouts when Hanzo steps away, arms hanging loosely at his sides after they reluctantly slip off of the assassin's hips. The elder Shimada huffs a laugh at the look, moving away just enough so he can place his bow on the metal bed frame leftover from when the room was still being used. When he turns back towards McCree, he spots the stomped out remainder of a cigar on the floor, no doubt the culprit behind the stench Hanzo smelled and tasted while kissing the cowboy. The younger man's eyes follow his gaze, and when he spots the reason for the other's annoyed gaze, he lets out a nervous chuckle.

 

“I kinda have a habit of smokin’ when I got nothin’ else ta do. Just somethin’ that keeps me occupied.” Hanzo's gaze shifts from the cigar to McCree, no amusement evident on his face.

 

“I am aware you had one while I was not here. I could smell the smoke on you, as well as taste it. You are lucky I am used to being around something so foul.” The choice of words make the gunslinger flinch just a little, even though he doesn't mean to because for as long as he can remember, those around him condemned his horrendous smoking habits. It was something McCree picked up during his time with Deadlock, an urge to try spurred on by both Marco and his father (even though both leaned more towards cigarettes rather than cigars). He could never find the will to break the habit, and mainly ignored anyone who tried to tell the younger man he should quit before anything permanent was done to his lungs. Hanzo seems to also share the sentiment as he fixes his gaze back on the cigar with a glare.

 

“Those things are going to kill you one day.” Even though he would normally avoid talking about his habit, McCree shrugs as he nudges the cigar with the tip of his boot.

 

“Maybe. If an enemy don't get me first.” It was in poor taste really, throwing out the idea that he could die from a fight rather than his cigars, and the cowboy was afraid he had crossed a line. No one who was part of Overwatch normally entertained the idea that themselves or someone on their team could die during a battle since the very idea was far too painful to think about. Now McCree just brought it up to his boyfriend of all people (there go the butterflies in his stomach), and he wonders how angry the older man is because of it. However, when he looks up from the cigar, Hanzo doesn't look enraged or irritated, more leaning towards smug. His tone of voice suggests he is at least.

 

“That will not happen.” For emphasis, the archer moves closer once again so they're mere centimeters apart.

 

“I will not let it.” It must be something about the conviction in Hanzo's voice, maybe even the intensity in his eyes, but something makes a small shiver run through McCree's entire body. Knowing he has such a powerful and confident man in his corner, the gunslinger grins as he lowers his head those few centimeters so the tip of his nose is touching with the elder Shimada's.

 

“Seems that's a sentiment we can agree on.” They kiss once more, but it's quick and ends mere seconds afterwards. Both decide for now that they should focus on the mission, so that's what Hanzo brings up when he feels like filling the silence for once.

 

“These terrorists, do you have an idea as to what their motive is behind these meetings?” McCree shrugs while frowning, wanting to feel confident in his answer, but he knows he's basically as clueless as the older man.

 

“My guess is that they're tryin’ ta get more followers. Or they could be figurin’ out some way around the protection laws. I ain't too sure, all I know is that I don't much care for these kinds of people.” Hanzo can hazard a guess as to the meaning behind the cowboy's words, and he knows he shares the same sentiment even though he never cared in his younger years one way or another what happened to others. The assassin was too focused on his own family to deal with the problems of other people, including how they felt towards omnics. Hanzo himself had never seen a problem with them to begin with, was actually somewhat envious of the machines that couldn't bleed or feel physical pain when he was growing up, and he sometimes wondered if life would be easier as an omnic. Despite the hatred and ridicule people show them, omnics have the potential to be stronger and smarter than a human ever could be. Every now and then, Hanzo had wished he had that, the ability to become superior to the people he associated with on a daily basis, and the elder Shimada sometimes found himself studying the omnic guards employed by his family. He never approached them, simply watched how they went about their day and interacted with those around them. At times, Hanzo found it funny how they seemed to act more human than his own father, and he often had to leave after a number of minutes ticked by before his thoughts drifted too far for him to come back from (because the archer had to hold the mentality that his father was capable of feelings even though he barely showed any, if only to keep himself sane). That's why he can't figure out why some people still refuse to see omnics as anything other than a collection of metal parts in the shape of a human. Hanzo has even seen brief pictures and videos of the gatherings both sides have, the peace offered from one while the other wants destruction, and he knows which one to choose. He's already dealt with enough destruction to last the rest of his life, so the older man knows he doesn't need more, and that's the only thing the people they're watching offer.

 

“I must agree with Symmetra, that these terrorists seem far smarter than one would first think, but they are also the biggest idiots.” McCree raises a brow, wanting to know the reasoning behind Hanzo's words. He thankfully doesn't have to wait long, his stare being enough of a push for the elder Shimada to continue speaking after a few seconds.

 

“Because of people like them, so many had to live with the destruction brought by the first omnic crisis. Now, those overseas face the threat of another war simply because they can not seem to comprehend the idea of life that is not flesh.” Hanzo briefly looks away from the younger man, gaze focusing on a metal arm lying on a pile of rubble. It's bent and beaten, probably a few months old, and he can't help but feel sorry for the omnic it no doubt belonged to. One that probably didn't deserve whatever cruel punishment it was most likely given by the very people they're going to be watching for the next few days.

 

“Anger breeds nothing but pain and misery.” McCree can't help the sad frown that pulls at the corners of his lips, and he remains silent because he truly can't find anything to say in response. He knows those words are not only aimed at the terrorists, but also at Hanzo himself, and it hurts a little because he thought they were done with this. The gunslinger knows the older man has mostly accepted Genji's forgiveness since he's basically stopped talking ill about himself and what he did. Then again, McCree knows all too well that past regrets don't fully disappear no matter how much someone has accepted and moved on from what they did, so he understands that Hanzo will still hold anger towards himself.

 

He knows, and it's still painful to see how much the archer suffers because of it.

\-----

McCree groaned against the wall, hat waving in the air as he fanned himself with it in order to get some relief from the humidity that suddenly appeared. He wasn't sure what happened between the time they arrived and nightfall, but the temperature suddenly rose and the heat became unbearable. It was a rather startling and surprising contrast to how the weather was when they arrived, the sun still beaming down but lessened by both clouds and the cooling breeze that washed over everything. However, that all changed when the sun went down, and McCree wants to know what black magic makes the night hotter than the day. He's already taken off his serape, the cloth instead laying next to Hanzo's bow on the bed frame, and the cowboy is tempted to take off his body armor next. So far, there's been no signs of any terrorists taking part in a secret meeting, and that means there's almost no chance of him being shot at after he relieves himself of the heat trapping metal. But McCree knows better than to tempt chance, knowing that with his luck, that very scenario may end up becoming a reality. Instead, he tries to focus on the task at hand, playing watchdog while his teammates get some rest before their respective shifts.

 

The cowboy is actually surprised at how easily both went to sleep, knowing full well that one of them prefers staying awake over tempting his past mistakes to emerge while he tries to rest. Satya, on the other hand, is the one that he can't talk for since McCree has never interacted with her beyond the few brief interactions they've had on missions. He remembers one clearly, when she had to help him quickly escape from a situation that would have no doubt ended in his death by leading him through one of her portals. He thanked her, Satya rolled her eyes, and that was the end of it.

 

But the younger man does have to wonder why she easily gave him the first watch, seeming to be the type of person who wouldn't trust another to do things correctly. McCree also has a feeling he doesn't quite meet her approval on performance in the field (not only because of that one time the architect had to save him), and he would think that because of it, Satya would choose to do the entire watch herself. The gunslinger is elated to know that he's wrong on that account, but there's still a nagging feeling that she may end up changing her mind later on in the mission that just won't go away.

 

Not wanting to think about it any more, McCree goes back to watching the streets for any sign of people, sighing to himself when the only movement he sees is from a small rat. He watches for a long moment as it scurries amongst rubble and debris, no doubt looking for food that it definitely won't find unless it decides to pay them a visit. McCree can't help the little stab of pity he feels for the rat at the thought because even they don't have what would normally be acceptable to an animal's palette, human or otherwise. Because the mission is taking place in remote locations that no longer have many inhabitants (just the few people that refuse to leave, and the main reason they were even given the job by Winston), they need to stay out of sight which means staying away from any places selling food and drinks. However, instead of letting the agents bring a bag of snacks (the very thing McCree and Hanzo had to procure before sneaking onto the boat), what was offered was what could only be classified as astronaut food. Dried, packaged, and not filling in the least. It almost makes the cowboy want to call up Winston and ask him to send a carrier with some _actual food_ because he doesn't think he'd be able to stomach what they have to eat for an entire week (but if McCree is lucky, only four days which is still too long in his opinion).

 

But he knows he can only grin and bear it for now, and the younger man just continues his watch while silently cursing the people who get to eat something that doesn't taste like freeze dried cardboard. However, that doesn't mean his mind won't wander, and McCree finds himself going through memories of his past. One in particular makes him pause in his reverie, one from his time with Blackwatch when Reyes didn't actually try to use his guns on those he considered friends and family even though he constantly threatened to shoot people. McCree remembers it fondly, a tiny smile forming on his lips when he recalls all the details of what made that day special.

 

It was one of his lazy days where the gunslinger was allowed to relax and not worry about any missions. Reyes was doing the same, Jack at his side the entire time despite the mountains of paperwork that lay neglected on his desk (his former boss the very reason those papers weren't getting looked over and signed). It was before he had been offered the strike commander position, before the couple's fights increased in number over their kisses, and McCree can't help the anger he feels at the higher ups for driving that wedge between the two men. But that's a different memory that he doesn't want to recall at the moment, so he returns to that one lazy day.

 

The cowboy was probably around twenty-one at the time, still joking with people about drinking before he even became legal (since good genetics and an even better forgery gave him the chance to buy alcohol in the bars at a young age that most certainly wasn't legal), and his day had been spent wandering around the base he called home for a time. When McCree was hungry, he went to the cafeteria. When he was bored, the gunslinger went to the training room where he either used it for the purpose it was built for or talked with some of the other recruits he had befriended over the years. Most of the time McCree had was spent shadowing Reyes just for the hell of it, and he watched with both envy and indifference at how smitten his former boss looked when he was around Jack. Everyone in the base knew of the ultimate power couple (after they kept the relationship a secret for months), two of the best operatives that were monsters out on the field thanks to their super soldier training (that wasn't really training per se, but no one felt like bringing it up most of the time). They were practically inseparable, and McCree often wished he had what Jack and Reyes were able to find with each other despite the positions they held. In all honesty, the cowboy was happy for the two of them, and would sneakily smile to himself whenever he saw the two men together. That was how they stayed for a long time, how they were on McCree's day off, and he can't help but wonder where it went wrong.

 

He can recall that memory as well, the one where he began to see the changes taking place with the older men's relationship. The gunslinger doesn't know why they started to drift apart, but he had a feeling something was wrong when he noticed one day that they weren't standing as closely as they usually did. Jack wasn't really looking at Reyes either, and McCree had the sinking feeling that something wasn't right. He had unfortunately found out he had been correct in that matter after walking by his boss’ office later that day. The cowboy could hear their arguing on the other side of the door, had even stayed long enough to figure out they had been going at it for a while, but he left it alone in the hopes that whatever was going on between the couple would work itself out. It didn't, and he watched with a heavy heart as the two men continued to drift apart because of the stress put on them by the UN.

 

McCree wished he had done more before he left, maybe tried to get the two of them to talk with each other and get to the root of the problem, but he wasn't a psychologist. Chances are the gunslinger would have made it worse, and he had that mentality whenever he had gotten a spark of courage that told him to try and fix their relationship. So McCree, unable to handle both the fighting between Reyes and Jack as well as the rising tension of the people who were steadily becoming more angered by Overwatch as an entity, walked away because it was just too much.

 

Then the explosion at Zurich took place, and the younger man couldn't help the intense sadness he felt when he heard the news. It had felt just as painful as when McCree lost his actual father because not only did he lose good friends to the explosion, the man who basically raised him into the person he is now (someone capable of backing up any words he might say to goad an opponent, and also taught him how get out of any situation) was also taken. Of course, McCree should have known the stubborn jackass wouldn't stay dead, and he found that out the hard way after taking a shotgun blast to the remainder of his left arm, but that's a memory for another time. Instead, the cowboy secretly steals glances at Hanzo, realizing one more thing they seem to have in common.

 

Everyone they know never seems to stay dead with the exception of a select few (namely blood related parents).

 

It's a little funny if McCree thinks about it, knowing that both him and the elder Shimada have past ghosts that always come back in one way or another. One major difference is that the younger man went through the shock three times even though he was basically used to it by the time the third surprise waltzed through the Gibraltar base doors. Ana, in all her finely aged wisdom, that nonchalantly greeted those who saw her and almost looked as bad as Jack who showed up mere days before her. Needless to say, McCree took her sudden appearance far better than Fareeha (who refused to leave her room for three days until Angela coaxed her into talking with her mother), and the gunslinger couldn't help but wonder if somewhere out in the world was another face from his past walking around when they should be six feet under.

 

But it seems McCree has spent enough time in his reverie, something he can't help but think to be the truth when a voice cuts through his thoughts like cold steel.

 

“Has anything happened?” The cowboy can't help but stare for a few seconds at Satya, wondering how he didn't know she was even awake. Slowly, he shakes his head (hoping that he really didn't miss anything while his mind wandered), and the architect stands from the makeshift seat she made herself after it was decided that McCree would take the first watch. In all honesty, the gunslinger can't help but find the technology she uses somewhat fascinating (not just because Satya basically has the ability to make herself a chair whenever she wants to sit down, he swears), and McCree briefly wonders what else she can make besides the usual. Problem is, he doesn't have the guts to ask such a question that the architect would no doubt count as childish because the cowboy thinks he's gotten enough ridicule from her already. Instead, he lets Satya take his spot by the window while he sits against the same wall as Hanzo who still seems to be asleep (or he's pretending to be, McCree's not entirely sure). After he's gotten comfortable (as much as he can in such heat while on the floor), the younger man wonders if he should try to sleep or start sifting through his thoughts again. Satya seems to shoot down both choices because for once, she decides to strike up a conversation with him.

 

“You are not very subtle, despite what you like to think.” McCree furrows his brow at the words, mind racing to come up with the reason she would say such a thing.

 

“Beg yer pardon?” His question makes the architect sigh, a noise that slightly irritates the gunslinger because he thinks he should be the one doing that very action. Whether he wants it or not, Satya decides to explain why she said what she did.

 

“Your attempts to secretly watch agent Shimada sleep. You are not very subtle.” McCree feels his cheeks begin to heat up in embarrassment along with a strong feeling of mortification burying deep into his chest. The cowboy doesn't know what to do, torn between trying to explain his actions or get her to drop the topic entirely. McCree wants to go with the latter, but he pegs Satya as the type of person who can easily see through lies or attempts to redirect a conversation, and the only option he can go with is to remain silent. However, the gunslinger thinks that whether he spoke or not, he would have still told her if he was indeed watching Hanzo like Satya said he was. It turns out he had been right because after a few seconds of them staring at each other, McCree notices a slight change in the architect's expression. She doesn't smile, but something changes just enough that enables the younger man to figure out what she's thinking: _I was right._ The cowboy doesn't think he has a chance of correcting the mistake, so he instead tries to divert the topic elsewhere.

 

“Ya think these terrorists will show up here?” Satya raises a brow at the question, McCree catching on to the new words her expression says, and he tries not to squirm under her gaze. The architect knows he's trying to avoid their previous conversation, but she thankfully lets him do so as she goes to answer.

 

“Most likely not. My guess is that they are elsewhere, and that we are just wasting our time staying where we are.” The gunslinger nods a little to himself, some part of him noting the awkward atmosphere that has engulfed the room. He's not sure if Satya can feel it as well or if McCree is the only one that does, but he doesn't bring attention to it for fear of being mortified yet again. Unfortunately, the architect doesn't seem to care about the cowboy's feelings on the matter (whether it's conscious or not, he doesn't exactly know) as she brings up their earlier topic once more.

 

“But you do realize you're not being subtle, correct?” Now with the dawning realization that he's not going to be allowed to escape the situation whatsoever, McCree sighs with a hint of irritation that he is unable to hide.

 

“What's it to ya?” Unappreciative of the hostility, Satya gives him a small glare that doesn't last for very long as she turns back towards the window that she briefly looked away from.

 

“If you are unable to be subtle then we will be found and attacked. I'm simply telling you for all our sakes that you learn to be more discrete, unless you prefer this mission take longer.” McCree frowns at her own hostile tone, but he doesn't have the chance to reply as another person does it for him.

 

“I assure you, he can be quiet when he wants to.” A little startled, the cowboy whips his head around to see Hanzo watching the both of them in mild annoyance (because they woke him up or he was tired of hearing them argue, the younger man isn't sure).

 

“McCree has the ability to be discrete when it counts. I myself can vouch for him.” Said man watches the two other agents with a frown, unsure if he should count what the assassin said as a compliment to his skills or an insult to his usual manner. McCree chooses to take it as Hanzo standing up for his ability to do what others think he's incapable of, and not caring how it comes off or what Satya thinks, the younger man gives her a small, smug grin. The architect just rolls her eyes in response (somewhat shutting down McCree's joy at being acknowledged by his partner), and proceeds to ignore her teammates in favor of doing her job. Hanzo doesn't seem to share her feelings on the matter as he comments on the unsaid words hanging in the air.

 

“Whatever you are thinking concerning the two of us, I would appreciate if you did not tell anyone.” McCree, shocked that the archer was the one who ended up practically confessing that they were together, just stares with his jaw hanging open just slightly. His eyes have widened, and they almost grow bigger at the response he hears from Satya.

 

“As if I would have a reason for telling anyone about such a thing.” Despite the cold tone, McCree can't help the tiny smile that spreads on his face at knowing their relationship is still safe from being revealed to the rest of the team by someone other than themselves. Of course, now with the knowledge that them being together was once again accidentally found out by another Overwatch member, the gunslinger can't help wondering if this is going to be how everyone they know ends up finding out him and Hanzo are in a relationship. McCree hopes that won't be the case, but he won't know for sure until the other agents bring it up on their own or the two men decide to tell the rest of the team with everyone present. The younger man thankfully knows that there's practically no chance Jack will be the one who tells the other agents, not just because he also wasn't the one who told the entire organization about him and Reyes back then either, but because despite what happened in the past, the old soldier has retained most of his old attitude. One that included no desire to reveal the secrets of others unless that person was absolutely sure they didn't care who knew. And even though neither McCree nor Hanzo specifically asked Jack to keep what he saw a secret, the lecture they got was basically all the information they needed to know that the former strike commander would put work above gossip (always did, even when he was with Reyes who was the king of talking about the juicy details he found out pertaining to certain people).

 

At least the cowboy can be confident in his knowledge that Satya will also refrain from telling anyone behind the two men's backs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, the last 2000 words of this chapter kind of got away from me because my mind was on other things, so I apologize. At least it gave me another chance to write about someone else figuring out they were together.


	24. A Closer Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Hanzo wanted to do was train, but it seems his worry for Genji got the better of him. McCree just wants Hanzo to stop being angry with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst and fluff!
> 
> Just a quick warning that the last chapter will be the one with smut, so look forward to it if that's why you're reading this story.

The mission in Virginia turned out to be more boring than one would first think. Despite finding and witnessing two secret meetings between the anti-omnic terrorists, the people living within the areas weren't even given a second glance. Sure, those who the three agents were sent to watch would sometimes interact with the people who weren't taking part in the meetings, but the conversations never went beyond simple greetings or talks about other, less pressing current events. If anything, it didn't seem as though the people who weren't with the terrorists had any idea that they were talking with one, and it made McCree wonder why the meetings were being held in the first place if they weren't for gathering followers (because while they still witnessed the two meetings, not one of them heard what was being said or felt like getting close enough to find out). All in all, it turned out to be a fruitless mission that only proved to raise the ire and embarrassment of the gunslinger who was frowning the entire ride back.

 

Not only did they end up doing nothing, but on top of that was the lingering mortification of his relationship with Hanzo being found out by Satya who didn't care in the least. Yes, she told them she wouldn't say anything to anyone, but McCree still can't believe that he screwed up yet again concerning keeping the fact that him and the elder Shimada are together a secret for now. However, he can't just waltz through the watchpoint with a scowl on his face or else he'll risk revealing what's bothering him to the other agents, so McCree schools his expression to one of mild exhaustion (which isn't that hard to do because he does feel slightly worn out). It works for the most part because when the carrier lands inside the hangar of the base, no one waiting there asks him why the younger man looks angry. Instead, Angela looks them over to make sure all three are healthy and uninjured before she tells them to go eat some proper food. After that will be a debrief with Winston (who actually didn't really contact them for most of the mission, which McCree thinks is a little weird), and that's the most interaction he gets until they enter the dining hall.

 

In all honesty, the cowboy would have liked to bathe first before he ate considering he hasn't washed in four days (since the only places they stayed in were abandoned buildings that didn't have working plumbing, much to everyone's annoyance), but the sooner they eat and fill in Winston on what happened, the longer McCree gets to soak in some hot water. So he tries to eat rather quickly, urgency fueled by both the siren song of a nice bath as well as the fulfilling food that doesn't taste like spiced cardboard. Hanzo also seems to share the sentiment since his usual grace and cleanliness has almost all but left him. He isn't eating as fast as McCree, but the same urgency is there, one that anyone paying close attention would notice. Genji does, and the gunslinger can tell that the younger Shimada is a little worried for his friend and brother even though he doesn't voice his feelings. After they finish eating, McCree and Hanzo head for the conference room (Satya once again waiting for them like she did four days ago when they received the mission), and take their seats quickly so Winston can begin.

 

“So I am to assume that you three being here means that everything was alright over in Virginia?” The younger man looks between those in the room, and when he notices that neither of his teammates are planning to respond right away, he takes it upon himself to do so.

 

“As far as it can be. They weren't harrasin’ the locals or anythin’, just holdin’ those meetin’s.” Winston nods with a sigh of relief, and after a few more questions that McCree once again answers on his own (and seriously, it wouldn't hurt either Satya or Hanzo to say _something_ in reply), the scientist dismisses them with a final comment of ‘you are free for the next few days’. The cowboy doesn't exactly know what Winston means by a few, but he figures it's got to be enough for them to rest and recuperate (maybe even for him and the archer to try and take the next step like they've been talking about, but he'd need to ask Hanzo about it first). So with one last smile at the older man, McCree heads for his room while the other two do the same. Once he's inside, the gunslinger heads straight for the bathroom, clothes and armor falling into small piles on the floor as he goes. It almost feels like an eternity before the water gets hot enough, but it proves to be worth the wait when McCree sinks into the heat with a content sigh. He finds a comfortable position in the tub and stays there for what feels like hours (when it's probably only the equivalent to forty minutes) before he washes his body then gets out to dry off. It's only after the cowboy has picked out some clothes to put on does he hear a knock on his door. McCree gets dressed quickly before he answers, and he doesn't know whether to be confused or happy to see Genji standing on the other side. What really catches the gunslinger's attention is the box tucked under the ninja's arm, and he raises a single brow that makes the other man clear his throat in response.

 

“May I come in?” The fact that he needed to ask makes McCree a little embarrassed that he was just standing there saying nothing, and he ushers Genji inside without a second thought. The cowboy can tell that the younger Shimada is acting a little skittish, and he has a feeling it has to do with whatever his friend is holding.

 

“Whatcha got there?” McCree points at the box that Genji is still carrying, and when he realizes he still has it, the cyborg holds it out for the older man to take.

 

“It would be better if you see for yourself.” Cautiously, the gunslinger takes the box from the other's hands, and he stares at it for a moment. It's not just a box, but a package, clear tape lining the openings where the flaps meet (recently cut, from what he can tell). It isn't very big, but that doesn't mean McCree is in any rush to see its contents if they're making Genji act this uncomfortable. Finally, the older man balances the package so he can open it with one hand, folding back the flaps so he can see what's inside.

 

_Oh. That's what's in there._

 

In all honesty, McCree should have realized sooner what the contents were just by the signs. Not only was Genji acting a little awkward, but he gave the box to the cowboy who has never gotten a package in his life.

 

And then he ended up asking Athena for a few certain items that somehow made it into the hands of his friend.

 

Feeling his cheeks heat up with embarrassment and shame, McCree clears his throat while placing the flap he moved back to its original position, successfully hiding the items inside from their view. A few questions are going through the gunslinger's mind, the first one at the forefront asking Genji how he ended up with the package in the first place, but it seems the ninja isn't above explaining his actions without needing to be prompted.

 

“I had stumbled across it the day before you came back from your mission. Athena had told me that it was nothing of importance, but I knew that couldn't have been the case. After some persuasion, she told me you were the one it was for, and by then, the temptation to see what was inside was too great. So I am sorry for opening your… package.” After hearing the whole story, McCree can't help the few chuckles that escape him (more out of embarrassment than anything), and he goes to set the box down on his bed.

 

“Well, I guess some part of me knew this was gonna happen. At the very least, I'm glad yer the one that found it instead of anyone else. Jack especially. He already gave us a lecture ‘bout datin’, I would've died if he found out what we were plannin’ on doin’ next.” Genji tilts his head rather quickly at the words, eyes widening behind his mask.

 

“Jack knows about you and my brother?” The older man nods with a heavy feeling of shame in his chest.

 

“Oh, he does. Wasn't the best way ta tell him, that's for sure.” When McCree looks back at the younger Shimada, he doesn't have to see the other's face to know Genji is waiting for an explanation.

 

“He kinda caught us kissin’ in the trainin’ room. As if mortifyin’ the both of us wasn't enough, he proceeded ta lecture Hanzo and I on why it's a bad idea ta be together in our line of work.” After he finishes retelling the memory, there's a moment of silence before the ninja starts laughing like a madman. McCree just stands there, watching with a small smile while Genji goes to grip at his stomach as he almost doubles over in pain. The laughter continues for the better part of five minutes, and once he finally calms down, the younger Shimada takes off his visor for a moment so he can wipe at his eyes.

 

“That is priceless. My brother, being lectured by Jack because he was caught kissing you. In the training room, of all places.” The gunslinger scoffs while absentmindedly picking at some of the tape on the box.

 

“Sure, yer laughin’ now, but I wanted ta crawl under a rock and never come out. Woulda probably done it too, had anyone else found what we ordered.” Genji softly laughs at that, a small feeling of guilt rising in his chest that he quickly tries to stomp down since nothing too terrible happened from him finding the package. The cyborg looks over his visor, taking note of the silence that has once again surrounded the both of them while he holds it between his fingers. Finally, McCree decides that he should say something to fix the entire situation, so he walks over to Genji before placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

 

“Thanks for bringin’ the box ta me. If it makes ya feel any better, I ain't mad ya looked inside.” The younger Shimada gives a soft smile that makes his eyes crease just enough to tell the cowboy it's there before he puts his visor back on.

 

“It does, thank you. Only now, I won't be able to unsee what was inside your package, and therefore, not know what you plan on doing with my brother. While I am still not opposed, I do not plan on having those images in my head.” McCree lets out his own laugh at the words before gently clapping Genji on the back.

 

“Well, that's yer own fault for snoopin’ inta other people's stuff. I mean, ya knew it was gonna happen eventually, like we said it would.” The ninja nods with a sigh.

 

“I did, but I guess the reality of it had not set in yet until I saw what was inside.” McCree can't help but feel the same way because he knows that the next time he's alone with Hanzo in his room, they could very well end up having sex together using the items in the box. However, he doesn't want to put that image in Genji's head (because as he said, it isn't something he wants to think about), so they talk a bit about the older man's recent mission before the younger Shimada has to visit Angela for a checkup. He leaves McCree who takes the package in his hands, prosthetic resting on one of the flaps as he tries to find the courage to pull it back. Finally, he opens the box once again, eyes scanning over the two bottles of lube and four boxes of condoms inside that almost feel as though they're teasing him with the inevitable future. McCree doesn't look at them for long, and after he closes the box, he slides it under his bed. Some part of the gunslinger can't help but feel like a teenager trying to hide dirty magazines from his parents (even though he was never the type to hoard such a thing), and he can't help the tiny, sad laugh that leaves him.

 

Another part of his painful reality that didn't give him the chance to grow up an everyday, average Joe (which he isn't, so god forbid anyone call him as such).

\-----

Of all the things Hanzo thought he'd see in his life, this was not a sight he had ever pictured nor wanted to witness again (and his brother had even warned him he wouldn't like what he saw). He hadn't even planned on being in the same room when it happened, but curiosity got the better of the elder Shimada, and he couldn't help but suddenly remember that unbearable saying that made no sense to him.

 

_Curiosity can most certainly kill more than just a cat._

 

Hanzo thinks it's rather fitting then, that Genji is the reason it happens because despite how far they've come in rekindling their relationship, the archer just can't seem to get rid of that last bit of guilt jammed into the pits of his psyche (not that the older man feels like he has to because he still has to make up for his mistakes). That's why as he stands there, watching his brother get looked over by the doctor, Hanzo can feel a scream welling in his throat that originates from the pain in his chest. Like the assassin said before, he hadn't planned on being present for the so called check up, but Genji had caught him walking in the hallways and things spiraled from there. Hanzo had showered mere moments before, and he was on his way to the training room to make up for the four day Virginia mission when the cyborg rounded a corner. They almost physically ran into each other, but both managed to stop before either made contact. Genji was pleased to see Hanzo either way, and voiced this the moment they recovered from the close call collision.

 

“Ah, brother, I was hoping I would see you before tonight.” The older man can't help but raise a brow in response because they had both seen each other a few hours before, not to mention that the ninja had greeted him and McCree when they landed.

 

“Why is that?” Genji tilts his head just slightly, and Hanzo swears he can feel a slight judging stare behind the younger Shimada's visor.

 

“Because I was not able to ask how you were after you and McCree came back. Both of you were worn and hungry, so I decided to wait until you felt better.” Something about the words said by his brother makes the archer's brows knit together in suspicion, wondering why it doesn't feel like the whole truth. However, he doesn't pry, all too eager to start training and release some of the energy he couldn't spend on the mission fighting enemies.

 

“I am well. So is McCree. We did not engage the anti-omnic factions, so there was no chance of us being injured. The worst that happened was that we could not bathe or use proper toiletries due to the lack of working plumbing.” Genji manages a chuckle at that, unable to stop himself from imagining Hanzo's face scowling even more than usual because he couldn't take a proper bath. The noise actually causes the older man's face to break out in a small smile, and a thought strikes him before either go their separate ways.

 

“If you would care to join me, I am heading to the training room for practice.” Before Genji fully responds, Hanzo can hear a mumbled ‘like you need anymore practice’, but he isn't given time to reply in kind before his brother declines the offer.

 

“I would, but I can't at the moment. I have to meet with Angela.” The name somewhat raises a red flag for the assassin because even though he knows Genji has a history with the doctor and is on good terms with her, she is just that: a _doctor._ That very fact makes Hanzo unable to keep his concerns to himself.

 

“Why? Are you hurt?” The younger Shimada goes to explain that he isn't and it's only to check his vitals, but then he remembers that the older man isn't aware he needs to go through check ups that happen every few months to make sure nothing is wrong with his cybernetics. That, coupled with the fact that Hanzo still harbors some guilt because of what he did to Genji makes him unsure if he should tell him or not. But when he tries to think of some way to get out of the conversation without the archer getting suspicious or upset, nothing comes to mind, and the younger man debates simply telling the truth. Finally, after having an internal war that lasts far longer than it should (Hanzo now looking more worried because of it), Genji goes to tell the truth, albeit vaguely.

 

“Angela just wants to check on a few things, nothing too major or life threatening.” And then, against his better judgement because he just wants the archer to forgive himself, the cyborg asks a question that he instantly regrets.

 

“Would you like to come with me and check for yourself?” In all honesty, Genji had expected Hanzo to say no and be on his way, from either his desire to train or his respect for other people's privacy (or maybe even both), he wasn't sure. The older man instead surprises him with an entirely different answer that makes the ninja tense.

 

“If you are not opposed.” It's a stab to the heart because in a way, the younger Shimada doesn't want the assassin to witness him going through a check up with Angela. Genji knows it'll probably just end up hurting him more, but he knows that if he says he doesn't want Hanzo there after offering him to accompany the cyborg, his brother will attend whether he wants him there or not. So with a bit of acting and a tension in his gut that won't go away, Genji shakes his head.

 

“I would not have asked if that was the case.” The older man thinks that's the end of it, but the moment he goes to turn around so they can start walking towards the infirmary, the younger Shimada says something that makes him pause in alarm.

 

“Though I must warn you that you may see something you do not like.” Hanzo turns to question Genji, but he simply walks past him without allowing a single word to be uttered. The action makes alarm bells ring in the archer's head, and despite what the ninja said to him, he starts following after his brother so he can find out what the other meant. The entire walk was silent and tense, Hanzo unsure if he should try to ask or not, but they were already at the infirmary before he could come to a decision. Once again, the older man followed Genji, and they soon stood together in the infirmary with Angela looking at and prepping some equipment. When she looked up, the assassin could see the greeting she was no doubt about to give die on her tongue as her face morphed into a look of confusion that was aimed at him. The doctor locks gazes with Hanzo for a few more seconds before she looks at Genji who is already moving to sit on the cot. He mumbles something to her that the archer can't hear, words that apparently mean something since it makes Angela's expression change from confusion to angry pity. It's as though she can't figure out which emotion to choose between, but not one of them in the room has the will to voice or question why that's the case. Instead, the doctor begins flitting about the infirmary, Hanzo standing off to the side as he watches in curiosity (the same thing he feels angry at).

 

That's how they got here, the assassin watching in both horror and anger as Angela takes apart Genji's body piece by piece, armor and plating laying in separate piles on the cot next to him. The horror is from seeing what his brother has become, the anger Hanzo knows is aimed at himself because now he's seeing the full extent of the damage he did. He had not known until now, until he saw the cybernetics melded to what little flesh remained, until he watched as Angela had to _oil_ certain pieces that were beginning to wear down from overuse, and the archer genuinely thinks that he hasn't suffered enough for what he did. At most, the only true hardship Hanzo has had to face since abandoning the clan was not knowing when he would die by another's hands. Everything else the older man went through was deserved, from being unable to clean himself to going days without any food or water. However, Hanzo felt that if he could be killed by an opponent with enough skill to win against him in a fight, then he would be able to atone for killing his younger brother. That was probably the only thing that kept the assassin going most days, but now, bearing witness to all the changes Genji went through in order to live, Hanzo knows he hasn't gone through enough.

 

Another thing he thinks about is his relationship with McCree, and the archer has to question the other's reasoning for being with a murderer. Hanzo knows his story, knows that the cowboy was there for the younger Shimada after Overwatch had saved him. The older man doesn't doubt McCree witnessed Genji be rebuilt from the ground up, was there as a crutch when he needed something to lean on, and Hanzo has to wonder how the gunslinger can look at the killer of his best friend with so much affection (even if they didn't start out that way, but McCree should never have wanted to get closer to someone so disgusting).

 

The assassin is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't even realize Angela has finished checking Genji's parts, and he's only made aware when the younger Shimada moves to stand in front of him. When Hanzo looks up, he notices that Genji isn't wearing his visor, and their eyes meet despite how much the older man wants to look away. One thing Hanzo can say for sure hasn't changed about his brother are his eyes, still so expressive and bright that it just feels like another stab to the chest the moment he recognizes the feelings they're showing him right at that moment. Pity and sadness, both aimed at the archer who can only stare back in fear. But neither say anything, and Genji apparently decides to instead use action over words because he moves closer, just slow enough that he won't scare Hanzo away. Once the older man is within reach, the cyborg wraps him in a hug with his arms around the other's shoulders. Only then does he decide to speak.

 

“Please, anija, do not hurt yourself anymore. I told you, I will tell you over and over again that I have forgiven you for what happened in the past. So please, try to forgive yourself as well.” Hanzo can feel his hands twitch in response to the words as if they want to wrap around Genji as well, but the tightening of his muscles forces them to stay where they are. Instead, the assassin shakes his head while speaking with a voice that won't stop cracking.

 

“How… how can you ask me to do such a thing after I have made you suffer so much? I'm not-” Hanzo is cut off when the ninja abruptly pulls away, hands gripping his brother's shoulders while he speaks with determination.

 

“Yes, my life has changed because of what you did. I can no longer enjoy food, I have to have maintenance done every few months or else I will fall apart, and what little remains of my flesh is heavily scarred. But that does not mean my entire life has been ruined beyond repair. I have good friends, a family with Overwatch, and I am free from the scorn of the Shimada clan, just as you are. So I ask again, please forgive yourself.” The older man can only stare back, mouth open as if he wants to say something but can't find the words. Hanzo's eyes then manage to look away from Genji's hard stare to Angela who was listening the entire time (even though she wanted to give them privacy, but they were standing in front of the door). She offers him a small smile that makes the archer think he's being welcomed in some manner, a different look than what he had gotten when he first stepped foot into the Gibraltar base. When he looks away and back at his brother, that same stare is still there, but now it seems to be pleading with Hanzo to not feel guilty anymore. He just doesn't know how difficult that task will be because nothing for the assassin has ever been truly easy.

 

“Am I allowed to do that? Forgive myself?” Genji seems a little caught off guard, and the look in his eyes tells Hanzo that he wants to say yes, but it seems he realizes something that keeps him from saying so. Instead, the younger Shimada's response isn't even close to what he apparently wanted to say.

 

“That is for you to decide. While I want you to stop bearing the guilt that came from our past and be happy, only you can make the call.” Finally, Genji lets his hands fall to his sides, but he decides to say a few final words.

 

“But that does not mean I will stop trying. Change is inevitable, anija. That is something you just have to accept.” The ninja decides that's where the conversation ends since he walks back over to the cot where his visor still lays. Angela watches him with an unreadable expression (at least where Hanzo is concerned because he doesn't know enough about her to figure out what she's thinking at a glance), and they both watch as Genji goes to pass the older man so he can leave the infirmary. He stops once to lay a hand on Hanzo's shoulder (and maybe it's because of the oil, but for once the touch is _warm_ ) before finally exiting through the doors. The two remaining in the room stand in silence until Angela decides to add in her own thoughts on the matter.

 

“For what it's worth, I believe Genji became happier when you arrived here. At first, just a little after the recall, he seemed to be tense around everyone, even those he had known before Overwatch first fell. And then you showed up, and he seemed to brighten.” The doctor speaks with such fondness that it makes Hanzo's chest feel just a little heavier, but he knows the weight isn't from any negative emotions. Instead, it's because of a thought that occurs as he takes in her genuine smile: _why did I not come here sooner?_ But the older man doesn't ask it out loud, and decides that he needs to be somewhere private and away from prying eyes. So he softly excuses himself and leaves the infirmary so he can find that place of solitude. Hanzo knows that practice is no longer an option as the training room isn't exactly a private place, not to mention that his emotions are somewhat out of control. He wouldn't be able to focus, so it's not what the archer is going to do right now. His room, on the other hand, might just be the best place for Hanzo to sort everything out because unless he's needed for any immediate business, no one will bother him (except for maybe McCree, but he'll understand if the elder Shimada asks for some privacy).

 

However, it seems his subconscious has other plans because instead of his own room, Hanzo now stands in front of the cowboy's. Startled, the assassin looks around while questioning why his feet brought him here instead of his own quarters, and he briefly wonders if he can leave without anyone noticing or questioning why he's standing in front of McCree's door. But it seems someone else has other plans because Hanzo hasn't even shifted a foot to leave before the door slides open, and a slightly disheveled gunslinger stands there staring at him in surprise. Neither are sure what they should say or do, and the older man is debating walking away without a word, but he can't even get his mouth open before McCree is asking questions.

 

“Hey, honeybee. How long have ya been standin' there?” The words make Hanzo pause because honestly, how many nicknames will this man call him? And now he's being called a bee? It's something that the archer would question any other time, maybe even reply with an eyeroll, but his mind is far too clouded for that at the moment. Instead, Hanzo tries to exit the situation.

 

“Not very. I was just…” He meant to say he was leaving or just passing by, but the elder Shimada pauses for some reason. It's almost as if he's afraid to lie to McCree, and his reluctance is noticed by the cowboy.

 

“Ya doin’ alright? Ya seem kinda distracted.” Hanzo huffs a little because that isn't far from the truth, and McCree managed to figure that out by just watching Hanzo for a few seconds.

 

“That is an accurate description at the moment.” The assassin watches as the younger man softly bites his lip before he manages to ask yet another question.

 

“Ya wanna talk about it?” Hanzo can feel his scowl deepen because he hadn't meant to make his way to McCree's room. He had wanted a place of solitude, somewhere where he could think, and that means silence and privacy is needed. The gunslinger won't provide either (not in his own quarters at least), and it just makes Hanzo question yet again why he's standing in front of the other's room. His irritation must be showing because as slowly as he can, McCree reaches out so he can pull the elder Shimada closer and provide a bit of comfort. Hanzo's forehead ends up on a clothed shoulder, and he can smell the cigar smoke that is clinging to the shirt. Under that is a fragrant the archer has never smelled before, but it's soothing and he can't help but think it suits McCree. The scent, accompanied with the hands gently running up and down his sides pushes away some of the tension in Hanzo's body, and he briefly thinks that if he was able to, he'd fall asleep right there in the cowboy's arms while in the doorway. The assassin wouldn't care if they were out on the open or not, but the feeling doesn't last since McCree still wants answers.

 

“Whatever it is that's botherin’ ya, sugar, I ain't gonna know what it is unless ya tell me. And don't worry ‘cause nothin’ ya say is gonna change how I feel ‘bout ya. Understand?” Slowly, Hanzo nods against the shoulder his head is still pressed against, and he lets himself be guided into the younger man's room. McCree leads him over to the bed where, instead of simply sitting down, he positions himself so he's leaning against the headboard, arms outstretched in an attempt to get Hanzo to join him. The archer hesitates for only a few seconds before he gets on the bed as well (the desire to be enveloped by those strong arms and warm body too tremendous to ignore), and they position themselves so Hanzo's head is back on McCree's shoulder while he sits sideways in the other's lap. Briefly, the older man wonders if he looks like a child being embraced by a parental figure after a particularly bad experience, but he can't find the will to care once the gunslinger's warm hand undoes the ribbon so he can run those warm, thick fingers over his scalp. Hanzo thinks he could fall asleep like this, curled up in McCree's lap while his hair gets played with, but he knows that isn't why they're together at the moment. Thankfully, the younger man doesn't push him to speak, and after some time, Hanzo finally explains why he seemed so ‘distracted’.

 

“I ran into Genji on my way to the training room. He had told me he was going to see doctor Ziegler, so I asked him if he was alright. He said he was, and that I could accompany him if I wanted to. So I did.” The fingers running through his hair twitch a little as if their owner already knows how the explanation will end. The assassin doesn't think he's far off the mark with that thought, but he continues speaking regardless.

 

“I watched it all. I watched her take Genji apart piece by piece, I watched her _oil him._ I made my brother into what he is. I did that to him. It's my fault he has to go through such a thing as _maintenance._ ” Now that he's delved back into his earlier thought process, Hanzo pushes away from McCree so he can stare face to face with this man who has given him everything.

 

And he deserves none of it.

 

“Why are you with me? You have no doubt seen what Genji had to become after _my_ actions. So why?” The gunslinger just offers him a sad smile.

 

“Yer right. I have. I've been there since the beginnin’, watched Genji deal with an anger that got him inta trouble more than once. But I've also seen him go from hatin’ life ta meetin’ every day with an optimistic peace. I've also watched how the both of ya have fixed what ya thought ya broke.” McCree then brings up his flesh hand so he can gently run his finger over those cheekbones like he has before in other situations.

 

“Hanzo, I've told ya what I've also done. Yea, it may not seem like they're on the same level, but I still took lives that probably meant somethin’ ta someone else. My hands are no doubt just as bloody as yers.” And then, the younger man softly kisses Hanzo's lips.

 

“But when I'm with ya, I don't feel like a killer, I don't feel like a man who's ruined more lives than he's helped. I'm just Jesse McCree, hopelessly smitten cowboy who just wants ta spend all day kissin’ his darlin’.” It takes a moment, but once the words have fully sunk in, the elder Shimada can't help the tears that fall down his cheeks and into his beard. However, Hanzo still manages a smile, so genuine and happy that it makes McCree's heart jump in love for the man in his arms. And even though his voice is cracking a little, the archer replies back because he wants to voice his own feelings for the man in front of him.

 

“I feel the same way.”

 

And if they spend the rest of the day in McCree's room, cuddling on the bed and sharing idle talk, no one is the wiser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May have gone a bit overboard, but whatever. I just can't believe how close this story is to being finished.


	25. From Honor, Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a meeting, Hanzo has one more apology to make before he retires for the night while being held in a certain cowboy's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. The final chapter. Not to mention that smut I promised everyone would happen which, as the tags say, it's bottom Hanzo and top McCree (who I may or may not headcanon with a big dick because why the hell not?)
> 
> Also, I want to point out that I got a comment on a previous chapter saying that me writing in Japanese instead of English takes away from the immersion because I forgot that not everyone wants to scroll to the end of the chapter just to find out what was said. So for this chapter, I put the Japanese in italics that way no one has to find out what was said at the end.
> 
> Now please enjoy the smut (which is about 4000 of the words in this chapter, good lord)

The next day, McCree finally figured out why Winston had remained MIA for most of the Virginia mission. As it turned out, there was finally some progress made concerning Germany, and all available agents in the base were called to the conference room so a plan could be made. The present members debated for hours until finally, it was decided that there would be another mission in a couple of days where they would try and redeem their first blunder. Everyone agreed that they would need more than eight people to take on what was basically an army, so every agent currently with Overwatch was going to be present for the mission to Germany (even Winston himself who wouldn't need to check in from the watchpoint if everyone was going to be in the same place at once). All that was left was waiting for the last few agents out in the field to return while coming up with a plan of attack, and that task had been left to Winston, Jack, and Ana who would work with Athena to come up with the best strategy. The rest of the members were told to do what they wanted for the next two days, and that's when McCree finally decided to tell Hanzo about the box under his bed. The archer was surprised, to say the least, to know that the items they ordered had already arrived (even though he was kept in the dark about how the younger man found out himself), but that didn't mean he wasn't looking forward to using them.

 

In order to make this known, Hanzo threw out the option of using them tonight after most of the base was asleep. McCree looked a little reluctant at first (mainly because he wasn't sure if they should do something that rigorous a little before a mission), but after thinking on the idea for a few moments, he conceded and both agreed that they would meet in the cowboy's room between ten and eleven. It was late enough that very few agents would be awake or walking the halls (maybe none at all), and if it was Hanzo they found alone at night, they were less likely to question why he was out of his room. It would also mean McCree wouldn't have to carry the items to the elder Shimada's quarters because both men agreed they've suffered enough embarrassment concerning their relationship.

 

But because they weren't going to meet until late at night, that meant they needed to find ways to pass the time. The gunslinger proposed they use the training room, a thought Hanzo was all too happy to entertain, but he needed to take care of something first. So with a promise to meet with McCree in the training room, the assassin made his way to the meditation room that Genji had left for after the meeting. He knocked softly on the door before walking in when a filtered voice told Hanzo to enter. Sure enough, his brother sat in the middle of the room, two incense sticks smoking and filling the air with the scent of lavender. The older man watched Genji raise his head, but he didn't give the other man a chance to talk before he said what he needed to. Taking a deep breath, Hanzo bowed lower than he normally would while he spoke.

 

“I apologize for my words and actions yest… no, since our reunion in Hanamura. I have caused you distress when you only wanted to help me.” He pauses just long enough to correct his posture and look at Genji with a convicted stare.

 

“I accept your forgiveness, and the chance for redemption that you have given me.” There's a silence that follows, one filled with awkward tension that Hanzo wishes he hadn't noticed. The ninja doesn't do anything for some time, but he finally decides action is needed once the archer starts shifting nervously. Genji stands, walks over to Hanzo, and envelops him in a tight hug while whispering softly in Japanese.

 

 _“Welcome back, brother.”_  The older man smiles before he returns the hug with his own words.

 

 _“I'm home.”_ They stay that way for a bit longer until they finally decide to part, and ever one to ruin the mood, Genji decides to say something completely off topic while being unabashed about it.

 

“So, to save myself from any nightmares, you are going to be bedding Jesse soon, correct?” The question makes Hanzo stare in mortified shock before he smacks the cyborg upside the head out of frustration. Genji laughs at the little pain he feels because of it (hooray for sensory tuning), and he goes to follow the assassin who has stomped out of the room. The younger Shimada continues to try and get the information out of Hanzo who tries his hardest to ignore his brother, but Genji's persistence proves to be far superior. They're almost at the training room when the archer cracks, and in a low voice that no one else will hear, he tells the other what he wants to know.

 

“Tonight, after ten. Now stop asking.” Genji lets the matter go then (grateful Hanzo can't see his smirk), and they both enter the training room to see McCree waiting with the Overwatch issued practice gun. He's a little surprised to see Genji, but he welcomes the new unintentional participant to their practice with open arms and a smile. Hanzo, on the other hand, McCree greets with a quick kiss to his lips. The older man can only think to blush in response while he hears Genji snicker just to his left, and he isn't sure who he should throttle first (because dammit cowboy, they already got in trouble once for doing that in the training room, but Genji has plenty of old embarrassing stories for his brother to exploit in revenge). Instead, Hanzo goes to put in the desired numbers and space, deciding that preparing for Germany would be a good decision. He doesn't make the number of enemies too high, and when the simulation starts, a familiar area is created within the room. It looks just like the part of Germany they fought Talon in, and Hanzo can't help but remember when he ended up blown off of the rooftop because of a bomb. But the simulation doesn't have those, so there's no need to worry about the same thing happening yet again.

 

Instead, Hanzo focuses on taking out as many enemies as he can, taking care not to get hit as well as watch the backs of Genji and McCree. Neither really need it since they seem to be doing fine on their own (which isn't that surprising since they've been through the same thing before), so it means less work for Hanzo who can place his focus on the enemies aiming for him. It helps because when a group of enemies aim for him at the same time, the assassin is able to see the attack coming and dodge out of the way before firing seven arrows in rapid succession (grateful that if he needs to, Hanzo can restock at any moment even though such a thing won't be possible in an actual fight).

 

The fight continues for another thirty minutes until all the simulated enemies are taken care of, and Athena voices their victory overhead. The constructed Germany disappears, and all three decide it's time to pay the dining hall a visit. When they get there, the place is packed with agents that were previously in the base and ones that have just returned from a mission. Various conversations are being carried through the air, and all three can't help but feel as though this is how it should be, especially since Ana has taken the time to cook for everyone once again. McCree doesn't doubt a strategy is still being thought up, but he knows that the old sniper called for a break since both Winston and Jack are sitting at tables with other agents. It makes the gunslinger laugh, and he can't help but point it out to both Shimada brothers who are also amused by the information.

 

Afterwards, once they've eaten and shared idle talk with other Overwatch members, the three decide to practice origami until the intended time for everyone to be in their rooms. Hanzo feels happy he gets to pick up the hobby again (since he hasn't done it for weeks), and the first animal he makes is a blue dragon. Genji does the same, only his green dragon still doesn't come close to his brother's. McCree tries to learn how to make one himself, but the red dragon looks pitiful and warped. Both Hanzo and Genji can only chuckle while the cowboy pouts, and pretty soon, night has fallen in the base. Each make it to their respective rooms (all three with the knowledge of what's going to happen tonight, something Genji tries to forget while regretting asking Hanzo to tell him when the next step would be taken), and the older man immediately goes to take a shower. He makes sure to clean every part of his body (even going so far as to do it twice for good measure) before Hanzo gets out and dries off. Next thing he needs to do is put on clothes, and it takes him quite some time before he chooses a shirt and pair of shorts (along with his ribbon because what if someone sees him) the archer bought with McCree in New Jersey. The clothes definitely aren't something he thought he'd ever wear again, but they'll be easy to remove compared to his jinbei.

 

With that in mind, Hanzo waits until a little after ten before making his way to McCree's room (no one thankfully in the hallways), and he only has to knock once before the door opens. The gunslinger also appears to have taken a shower, and just like Hanzo, he's wearing some of the clothes they bought together. It's one of the cowboy themed shirts that at first, had the older Shimada rolling his eyes, but now, he just gives a small smile while shaking his head (noting that it makes the other smile as well).

 

McCree lets him in with a wave of his hand, and after Hanzo enters, he walks closer to the bed before turning to face the cowboy behind him. McCree just stands there, watching the older man with so much affection that it becomes almost unbearable. With an urgency to be in the arms of the younger man, Hanzo pulls him forward by his shirt before their lips meet, thankfully having enough control over the momentum so their teeth don't clack together. They end up standing there in the middle of McCree's room, said man's hands softly holding the elder Shimada's hips while their mouths meet with a soft touch. Hanzo never thought he'd get to have this, someone who can give him the sweetest of kisses and mean the words they hold, and he tries to convey his love for the cowboy through their lips. McCree seems to understand, and gently as he can, the gunslinger guides the older man to his bed just a few steps away. Hanzo goes willingly (even if he is moving backwards, and can't really see where he's going), and he soon feels the mattress hitting the back of his lower thighs. McCree motions for him to sit with some pressure on the archer's shoulders, and after they separate so the elder Shimada can sit on the bed, the younger man kneels with his hands resting on Hanzo's thighs still covered by his shorts. He looks up at the assassin for permission, something that is happily given, and McCree soon goes to remove the shirt with slightly shaking hands. He didn't think he'd be this nervous, and he's almost afraid Hanzo will tell the cowboy to stop because of it, but the older man says nothing as he allows the shirt to be pulled over his head. McCree lets the piece of clothing fall to the floor (the elder Shimada once again not saying anything) as he takes in the sight before him, the details of the sculpted body belonging to Hanzo.

 

There are actually more scars on the archer's skin than one would think, but they're so small and faded that no one would be able to see them from a distance, not even up close unless they looked really hard. It makes McCree wonder where they came from, how many were the results of fights with enemies (or maybe from Hanzo's family as punishment), but he doesn't want to ask at the moment. Right now, the only thing the gunslinger should be focusing on is what they're about to do, so questions about the past come later. To make his point clear (to just himself or the both of them, he's not really sure), McCree leans in and kisses the nipple Hanzo normally has covered by his clothes. He both hears and feels the assassin's breath hitch at the action, but it didn't sound like a negative noise, so the younger man becomes bolder. He takes the other man's nipple into his mouth, tongue teasing the nub he finds there, and Hanzo lets out a beautiful moan that McCree wants to hear again. Bringing up his right hand, the cowboy thumbs gently at the other nipple, and it makes the elder Shimada go higher in sound as he moans once more.

 

It's obvious to see that Hanzo is rather sensitive (maybe because he's never been touched so intimately before), if his noises at just having his nipples touched is anything to go by, and McCree briefly wonders what would happen if he touched the areas still hidden by the archer's shorts. Still focusing on the other man's nipples, the gunslinger moves his prosthetic to rest where he knows Hanzo's dick is. Even though his metal hand doesn't have any feeling, he can still make out a hard mass just beneath the cloth of the shorts, and when McCree starts moving his prosthetic in a repetitive motion, the archer's hips twitch, and his moans break just a little. Slowly, the mass under the younger man's hand gets harder until his prosthetic is pulled away and his face is tilted upwards. Had McCree not been so focused on making certain areas on Hanzo feel good, he might have seen what the older Shimada looked like sooner. His face was flushed, lips parted so he could take in gulps of air quickly, and the older man's eyes looked glazed, almost watery. The cowboy felt his eyes widen at the sight because damn, it was something to behold. McCree was only able to take it in for a few more seconds before Hanzo pulled him up for another kiss, the younger man unsure if he should be upset that the sight is gone or if he should melt. When the assassin pulled away, he spoke in a rough voice that sounded as if he had the beginnings of a scratchy throat.

 

“While I enjoy what you are currently doing, I would appreciate it if we could hurry up.” McCree softly smiles before planting another kiss on the elder Shimada's lips.

 

“That's fine with me, darlin’.” Now knowing he needs to speed things up a bit, the gunslinger stands to take off his own clothes while Hanzo removes his pants. Doing so allows McCree to see the distinct bulge that's still covered by some weird undergarment that probably has some outrageous name he wouldn't be able to pronounce (almost everything dealing with Japan does, and it's murder for the younger man because the words just will not work with his southern drawl). While McCree still hasn't gotten a clear view of Hanzo's dick, seeing the outline is enough to make his own harden a little more as he licks his lips. If they had longer, the cowboy would try to suck the elder Shimada to completion before they did anything else, but now isn't really the time. Another day, definitely, so for now, McCree strips down to his boxers before he moves to get onto the bed. He crawls closer to Hanzo who has made himself comfy against the pillows, and the older man watches the gunslinger with an expectant gaze. With his hands supporting him on either side of Hanzo, McCree leans forward so their lips meet again, softly, almost soothing. The archer brings his hands up to tangle his fingers in the younger man's hair (and it feels softer than it looks, much to his surprise), and when he gives a soft tug, the cowboy lets out a low groan that makes a small shiver run up Hanzo's spine.

 

After a few more seconds, McCree pulls away from the elder Shimada's mouth (even though he _really_ doesn't want to) before his lips attach to Hanzo's unmarked neck (something he plans on changing). The younger man softly bites the pale skin before he kisses the same spot to ease the slight pain, and the action makes the assassin gasp and shiver beneath him. Wanting more of the reaction, McCree does the same thing over and over, occasionally sucking hard on the skin so he can leave a very prominent hickey (something Hanzo will probably get angry at the gunslinger for, but he can't find the will to care at the moment). When he thinks he's marked the other man's neck enough for now, McCree starts moving lower, planting kisses on his journey towards the older man's cock that is still confined in his underwear. All the while, Hanzo continues to gasp and shiver, thighs occasionally twitching in anticipation as he watches McCree's every move through hooded eyes. The cowboy's journey seems to take forever, but he soon reaches his destination, once again pausing to look up at Hanzo and silently ask for permission. At this point, the archer can't decide whether the constant need to check if it's alright to continue is endearing or maddening, but he nods yet again before watching McCree's hands grab ahold of his fundoshi and pull. The piece of cloth slides easily down Hanzo's legs, sliding all the way off before it's deposited on the floor with the rest of the clothes they've already shed. Finally, the gunslinger has a full view of the older man without anything on, and he never thought the sight would be so enchanting.

 

Hanzo's dick is a decent size, uncut and resting in a trimmed nest of ebony hair that contrasts against his pale skin. Part of McCree wants to ask, curious as to whether or not the trim was recent, but he'll save the question for another time. For now, he just takes in the sight for another few seconds (noting the growing blush on the other man's cheeks) before he goes to retrieve the box with the lube and condoms from under his bed. McCree grabs one of the bottles, but when he corrects himself, a thought makes him stop before they go any further. Hanzo takes note of the hesitation, and some part of him begins fearing the worst before he works up the courage to hesitantly question the cowboy.

 

“Is everything alright?” The slight tremble to his voice snaps McCree out of his thoughts, and he nods with a small smile.

 

“Everythin's fine, honeybee. Just… I forgot ta ask ya how we were gonna do this. I ain't got a problem if ya wanna top-” The younger man isn't allowed to finish the sentence because all thoughts fly from his mind the moment Hanzo spreads his legs wider. It's one hell of a sight, one McCree hungrily takes in, and he thankfully has enough sense left to listen when the assassin speaks again.

 

“If you are not opposed, I would prefer if you be the one on top.” The gunslinger can hear himself swallow, and he has to clear his throat before speaking.

 

“Y-yea, sure. Fine by me. No problem, darlin’.” Willing away any nervousness he feels, McCree pops open the cap of the lube before squeezing a generous amount onto his organic hand. The younger man works the cold and somewhat slimy substance on his fingers, coating all of them other than his pinky and thumb. Once that's done, McCree positions himself so he's between Hanzo's still spread legs with his mouth by the elder Shimada's cock. The cowboy gives it an experimental lick, something that makes Hanzo's hips jerk a little before he repeats the action again. It doesn't take much courage to take the head into his mouth, not at all perturbed by the excess skin there as McCree places his index finger at the older man's entrance. The small gasp he gets in response is expected, so the gunslinger doesn't penetrate just yet. Instead, he circles the opening until he feels Hanzo start to relax before McCree pushes the tip of his finger inside just a little.

 

The intrusion is definitely about as comfortable as the archer thought it'd be, meaning not very and somewhat unwanted. He can't really explain the feeling of something going in rather than out, but Hanzo can feel a bit of a burn that's being soothed by the cold lube just a little (not to mention that McCree's mouth on his dick is a very welcomed distraction). Despite the uncomfortable feeling, the older man tries to relax enough for the cowboy to push his index finger deeper, and it feels like an eternity before it's pushed up to the last knuckle. McCree doesn't do anything for a solid minute, allowing Hanzo time to get used to the intrusion before he wiggles the finger in an attempt to stretch the tight ring of muscles so he can add another. When both think it's been long enough, the gunslinger pulls out the first finger so he can add his middle finger along with it, and the process starts again. At this point, Hanzo is going between the burning he feels at first to the pleasurable fullness that soon replaces it once he gets used to the sensation of both fingers inside him.

 

Suddenly, McCree manages to touch something that sends sparks throughout the assassin's lower body, and he releases one of the loudest moans he's made so far. The noise makes both men pause, Hanzo in embarrassment and the cowboy in surprise (so much so that he pulls away from the older man's dick). Then McCree is giving him a little smirk before hitting it again, and Hanzo swears his vision wavers at the sensations made from that one spot. Once it's been found, the younger man continuously massages that spot while sucking the archer's cock, and the added pleasure helps in easing the discomfort that accompanies the third finger. It isn't until Hanzo feels close to completion does McCree pull away, mouth and fingers leaving as he sits up. The sudden lack of pleasure makes the elder Shimada let out a whine before he can stop himself, and the noise has the gunslinger grinning as he takes in how disheveled Hanzo looks. His skin now has a thin sheen of sweat all over, his private areas shiny with spit and lube. The assassin's chest is heaving, nipples still puffy and red just like his neck from McCree's earlier ministrations. Hanzo's eyes are glassy and dark, pupils blown wide while his hair tries to escape the confines of his yellow ribbon.

 

The sight is so _damn gorgeous_ that the cowboy wants to take a picture so he can always see this side of the older man again and again (even though he has a suspicious feeling that it wouldn't do the real thing justice).

 

“Damn, sugar. Ya have no idea how beautiful ya look right now. Absolutely stunnin'.” He isn't sure how it's possible, but Hanzo feels his cheeks heat up even more at the compliment, and he tries to save himself from further embarrassment.

 

“Just get on with it you ridiculous man.” The words unfortunately don't hold much authority, mainly due to how rough the archer's voice has become thanks to his moans (he's trying, he really is), and the same applies to his glare. The scaring effect is ruined thanks to how flushed Hanzo's skin is, along with the way his eyes are glazed over in lust, and it only proves successful in making McCree grin wider. But he goes along with the elder Shimada's wishes, standing briefly so he can remove his boxers and let them join the rest of the clothes on the floor. Hanzo can't resist the urge to look, and his eyes travel from the gunslinger's face, down his body (which is tanned, fit, and covered in coarse hair, not that he minds at all) and between his legs where he sees-

 

_Holy shit._

 

The assassin wasn't usually one for cursing, but he now realizes how necessary that third finger was. McCree was _big,_ dick much thicker than his with a good length that made Hanzo briefly think _monster._ Unlike his, the excess skin was gone, a fat, red head greeting him with a forest of dark brown curls behind it. The older man couldn't believe his eyes, and the shock must have shown because McCree was soon clearing his throat while looking sheepish (because this was exactly what made him pause when grabbing the lube).

 

“Is somethin’ wrong? Is it too much? Guess I shoulda warned ya ‘bout the size.” Hanzo quickly shook his head as he finally got his mouth moving.

 

“No, there is nothing wrong. I just… are they usually so big where you come from?” The question makes the cowboy chuckle as he moves back onto the bed, nervousness now gone.

 

“I'm not entirely sure. Guess I just got good genes, is all.” The archer scoffs at the words, but he doesn't say anymore as he watches McCree grab one of the boxes of condoms from the package (now realizing why the younger man ordered more than two and in different sizes, unlike with the bottles of lube). Carefully, the gunslinger opens one of the square packets before he rolls the condom on, making sure there's no chance it'll tear or roll right back off. And even though they come lubricated already, McCree adds more as a precaution because he truly doesn't want to hurt Hanzo. When the cowboy is sure there's enough, the lube and condoms are moved out of the way before he gets between the assassin's legs, maneuvering them so his prosthetic ankles rest on McCree's shoulders. He then lines up with Hanzo's hole, and as slowly as he can, the younger man pushes his cock inside the man below him who gasps at the sudden pressure. The gunslinger's dick is far more filling than the fingers ever were, but it's also longer (and slightly thicker) and reaches further inside to areas still untouched.

 

It's an eternity for both men before McCree's hips are in contact with the back of Hanzo's thighs, and they both let out thankful moans while staying still. The cowboy moves the older man's legs so they wrap around his waist (the metal a little cold, but welcomed on his warm skin) while he goes to lean over Hanzo, carefully removing the ribbon so he can run a hand through those silky black strands. The archer welcomes the contact, leaning into the touch while his arms move to rest lazily on the back of McCree's neck. They share a couple of soft and gentle kisses before the gunslinger pulls back to look closely at Hanzo's expression.

 

“Ya doin’ alright, sugar?” The elder Shimada nods, not at all trusting his voice, and he plants another kiss on McCree's lips before trying to speak (and his voice is starting to sound a little hoarse even though they haven't really started yet).

 

“Y-you can move now.” To emphasize this, Hanzo wiggles his hips a little, the action making both men groan as the cowboy's dick shifts inside. Now that he's gotten permission, McCree slowly moves his hips back before pushing forward again, the languid movement causing the assassin to let out a soft whine. The gentle thrusts continue until the tightness lessens and the younger man is sure Hanzo can take a faster pace. McCree begins to move his hips with a little more urgency and power, the change in pace making the older man let out moans louder than his previous whines. With the noises being his motivation, the gunslinger starts moving faster and harder once more, all the while watching Hanzo's face twist in pleasure as his breath comes out in pants like he can't inhale enough air. It's definitely a sight to witness, the proud archer coming undone beneath him, and McCree once again increases the pace, going as hard and as fast as he can without being too rough. By now, Hanzo's moans are all either of them can really hear besides the slapping of skin to skin contact, the cowboy letting out occasional groans and grunts of his own.

 

Suddenly, the assassin pulls him down for a kiss that is much more feral and lust fueled than their previous ones, but McCree isn't complaining in the least. The kiss works in muffling Hanzo's cries, and never in his life did he ever think he could get so loud while the older man isn't angry. Instead, the elder Shimada is having one of the best (and most pleasurable) experiences of his life, and he tries to convey that to the younger man who has to briefly pull away for air.

 

“Mc… McCree… I-” His words cut off with a moan, and said man gives a shaky smile while his flesh hand squeezes one of Hanzo's pectorals, the action making the archer's breath stutter for a moment.

 

“My name, sweetheart.” McCree's voice is deep and rough from what they're doing, and the older man can't stop the shiver that goes through his body when he hears it.

 

“Je… Jesse!” The gunslinger chooses to reward Hanzo for saying his name, so he kisses him again while his flesh hand snakes between their bodies to jerk at the assassin's painfully hard dick. The added stimulation makes Hanzo cry out (the noise thankfully muffled by McCree's mouth that moves away seconds after), and finally, it becomes too much. The older man can feel a familiar burn in his lower stomach (one he's only felt a few times in his younger years), and after a few more seconds, Hanzo cums onto himself as well as the cowboy's hand. McCree doesn't seem to mind though, and he continues thrusting, chasing his own orgasm while the archer groans at the continued stimulation to his oversensitized body. After a few moments, the gunslinger finds his release, spilling into the condom with a few more thrusts before his hips finally come to a complete stop. Both men are panting and breathing heavily, no will to move even though they know they should clean up before trying to sleep.

 

Once he finally finds the strength to move, McCree pulls out of Hanzo who groans softly, and he gives him a quick kiss as an apology before heading for the bathroom. The cowboy cleans his hand, disposes of the condom, then returns to the bed with a wet washcloth that he uses to wipe the semen and sweat off of the elder Shimada. Hanzo is obviously tired (and no doubt doesn't have the strength to walk back to his room for the night), eyes heavily lidded and body feeling like dead weight, but he still manages to thank McCree who smiles warmly. After the assassin has been cleaned, the younger man deposits the washcloth onto the floor before carefully moving Hanzo enough so they can both lay on the bed, the older man wrapped securely in his arms with his head on McCree's chest. It takes a bit of strength, but the gunslinger also manages to pull the sheets out from under the both of them so he can pull it over their quickly cooling bodies. Hanzo plants a small kiss on McCree's chest as another thank you, and it's returned when he feels lips on his forehead.

 

“Goodnight, Hanzo.” The words make the archer smile a little, even as his eyes fully close.

 

“Goodnight, Jesse.” Soon, both men allow sleep to take hold, neither for once worried about past demons coming back to haunt them during the night which doesn't turn out to be unwarranted. Their sleep is peaceful and dreamless, and it stays that way until the sun rises some odd hours later. Hanzo is the first to wake, blinking away the grogginess before his vision focuses on a tanned and hairy chest in front of him. The assassin looks up at the face of its owner who is still asleep and lightly snoring, and Hanzo can't help but smile at the sight before he gives into the urge to plant a closed-mouth kiss onto McCree's lips. It proves to be enough of a touch to rouse the cowboy from slumber, and the elder Shimada watches in amusement as the other man blinks a few times before yawning. When he's able to focus, McCree's gaze finds Hanzo's, and he gives him a tired smile.

 

“Mornin’, darlin’.” The archer watches for a bit longer as the younger man rubs his eyes before responding.

 

“Good morning.” Even though he's usually an early riser, Hanzo can't help himself from burying his face back into McCree's chest who just softly chuckles before his flesh hand starts rubbing circles on the assassin's lower back.

 

“How’re ya feelin’?” Hanzo takes a moment to assess his health, and along with heavy limbs, he feels a dull throb just below the gunslinger's hand. He's a little sore, but all in all, utterly satisfied.

 

“Good. I feel good. Nothing hurts, and I do believe I am still able to walk.” McCree lets out another laugh before planting a kiss onto the top of Hanzo's head.

 

“That's good. Was worried I got too rough.” The older man chooses that moment to look up at the cowboy with a somewhat devilish smirk.

 

“I do believe I can handle a little more than what you delivered last night.” McCree lets out a soft scoff before he gives a smirk of his own.

 

“Don't tempt me, sugar. In case ya forgot, we got a mission in two days, and I'm sure yer gonna need ta be able ta walk if ya plan on fightin’.” Hanzo rolls his eyes, but he knows that the gunslinger has a point. The assassin wouldn't be very useful if he couldn't move, let alone stand, so he refrains from challenging McCree anymore for the day. Instead, Hanzo goes to get up and out of the bed, taking note of the time as he does so. It's almost nine, which means that the elder Shimada still has a chance to make it back to his room without anyone seeing him (because he no doubt looks like an utter _mess_ with a shine to his skin). However, Hanzo doesn't get very far due to the arms snaking around his waist once he stands. The action makes the archer huff in fake annoyance, and one of his hands gently lays on McCree's arm, but he's unable to say anything as the younger man chooses to speak.

 

“I love ya, Hanzo.” The words make the assassin pause for a moment because other than Genji and his mother, no one has ever said that to him before. Hanzo didn't think he'd ever hear the words again, and after the initial shock is gone, he turns to give the cowboy a soft kiss, soon followed by a genuine smile.

 

“I love you too, Jesse.” McCree's face lights up before they kiss again, and the elder Shimada silently thanks whatever almighty being gave him this loving wreck of a man (one who is very much like himself) who helped him gain some semblance of redemption for his past mistakes.

 

Now Hanzo has McCree, he has Genji, and he couldn't be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *holds up wine bottle* who wants some wine with all the cheese I'm providing? I made too much of it and now people need a drink.
> 
> But in all honesty, I want to thank those who stuck with me throughout the entire story, even the readers who just showed up because that at least tells me you took the time to read what I wrote. Despite the flaws in the story, y'all still read it, and told me how much you enjoyed it, so once again, I deeply thank you <3
> 
> And as a side note, one last mention about the oneshot I plan to do concerning McCree's family, so if you're interested, keep an eye out for that.


End file.
